Really well written. My only complaint is the excessive bolding. Starts to distract after a while...
I changed up some of the formatting so this should help with the problem (the emphasis has been changed to italics which should still stand out, but not be as jarring)
Also, more chapters are coming as I get them formatted to FimFiction's style, and the author is still writing new material.
Omg, yes! I thought. The six chapters I saw before where all we were going to get!
I hope that this continues!
The author is currently working on chapter 7, a chapter involving Twilight (though I don't know more specifics than that).
in this story you make it sound that the stallions there are (except for theyre size) are the most worst and horrible sex partners for the Mares, and that they all would have so much more fun with a Human
Well, I can't speak for why the author did it this way, but you can actually find a similar social mindset in groups of humans where the women vastly outnumber the males in a population. It becomes the woman's prerogative to gain a male's attention and to "keep him interested" with little to no effort upon the male since should he be displeased, he can quite easily find other prospects.
In a population such as the E Sapiens, where this gender imbalance is always the case, you might find this taken to an extreme where stallions don't even bother trying to please mares and become extremely choosy with body-type, simply because their options are so extremely open.
awwwwww it so romantic that it hurts!
awwwww........ you make me all sappy
I've read the first two chaps somewhere on the internet (can't find it now) but it's nice to see it getting up here on FimFic and being continued aswell
Looking forward to the next chap
I can take or leave the clop aspects of the story, not really into that sort of thing, for all that I'm pretty open minded about it. What has me absolutely flabbergasted is the SOCIETAL work this author has done on the story. It makes so much goddamn sense I'm amazed I never thought of it before. Considering how equine herd psychology combined with a sapience and the disparity of male to female ratios... I am absolutely amazed at this story.
Hats off to the author. This is world building at its finest.
Thank you very much for writing it.
did the autor mention anything about how many chapters are planned for this story, i hope alot because i really, and i mean really REALLY like this story
Recent studies have shown that gender roles are largely society based, so I completely agree with that. What I'm in awe over is how smoothly he was able to incorporate his own interpretation of the world into the canon series. It doesn't come across as jarring at all, which I appreciate for the feat it is.
The first chapter was posted up on ponibooru as an image story well over a year ago, with the second chapter following a couple of months later in the same fashion, so you probably saw them in that form. A couple months ago, the author was convinced to put them up on Pastebin and all of his work up through chapter 6 was placed on the Clopfic Directory, where I was then able to convince him to allow me to format the chapters for FiMFiction in order to get them out to a wider audience, hopefully with the warm reception the story seems to be getting we'll see more chapters in the near future (I know he's working on the next one right now) So keep liking & favoriting the story to promote more of these wonderful tales .
I don't believe the author has a set number planned, he just enjoys exploring the different societies and writes whatever scenes strike his fancy. But keep following the story and clicking those like buttons so he knows you want more
Actually, now that I've had time to think about it, this societal setup says some interesting things about Princess Celestia and her primarily male guard of well armored muscular male ponies.
Well... it's good to be the princess, I suppose.
From what we've seen of the show, they're more ornamentation than a true guard. Celestia has taken on most direct threats on her own without involving the guard (and they were spectacularly ineffective against NMM in the pilot), so having strong male guards would be a rather distinct societal statement of power in Equestria, showing not only militaristic strength, but social strength that you can attract that many males to your defense.
Although perhaps there's more truth to the tales of Molestia than ponies realize
she would SO not work in this setting, but it's still fun to dream.
Whoa, dude. This story. This story, dude. Whoa.
Awesome. And I don't usually say that about stories with this much ... content, if you get what I mean. But the way everything plays out, the feelings, the social context, the human/pony interactions it's like, somethin' else, man. Honestly one of the best I've read. Seriously, I can't think of a comparable fic that did so much right.
Like all good things, I require more. I can't wait to see what happens next. The relationship with Dash ... c`est incroyable, but I'm a bit curious about how things would work out with other ponies, too. Or maybe they'll decide to keep it just the two of them. Or maybe there'll be jealousy and conflict. So many great possibilities.
I sure hope the author can write quickly.
I am reminded of the scene in History of the World Part 1 where the royal concubine is moving down the line of men and going yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, yes, no, yes...
Oh MAN I can't believe I missed that joke.
Characters name is Bellerophon, who in greek mythology is known for riding the pegasus and slaying the chimera.
Ba Dum Ching!
The amount of awesome you just made Lyra increase by is OVER 9000!!!
If the ponies find out they can use this poor human to alleviate their heat, this will end very very poorly for him.
It wouldn't end very well for those ponies you mean, considering Lero is friends with the three toughest ponies in Ponyville, one of whom is the sixth or seventh deadliest pony in Equestria.
Glad to see this story make its way to Fimfiction.
Ha! Man about time I saw this on here! Can't remember where I found this before, pastebin or somethin... but still really glad to see this here really great story. Thanks for posting it!
The story is more than only well written, its just amazing. I hope there will be more chapters.
I'm pretty curious about Lyra and her character in this story as she is mentioned but had no real appearence till now.
Ohh I read this before, it's very good I, I'm glad it's here, and I am super excited that it's continuing.
The society that the author has created in this story is interesting and believable. The societal gender reversals lead to some great funny moments. The stallions as property in history is believable. Lyra as the 6th or 7th deadliest pony alive is... awesome! Celestia with her many male royal guards has interesting connotations as well.
This is how you do a clop... actually, calling this a clop seems like an insult. This is a romance story with sex scenes in it. You can feel the amount of love those two have, and I really like how he made up Lyra as a unicorn Bruce Lee. This seems to be the only fanfic that remembers that RD goes to karate class.
This is the most In-character I've ever seen Rainbow Dash in almost any clop. I mean, the author got it all of her personality covered, and even Lero himself seems like an awesome dude (by the way, google his full name).
I remember reading the first two parts of this at Ponibooru, and I never thought that it had more parts. This is awesome.
You might want to add links to the Ponibooru images that this is from, most of the author comments are there. Just a suggestion.
avoid Twilight Sparkle on bad days,
Avoid Lyra at all costs
or bring Very long range sniper rifle.
To be fair the show in season 2 has adjusted the ratio of females to males from 5:1 to 3:1, kinda like how the state of Georgia has that ratio for it's population.
As for the fic itself I do like how you build your universe, regardless whether people agree or not. You tackle the whole gender roles reversal thing very well. *Note: now I'm picturing a male version of the Women's Suffrage Movement in Equestria. Spike is lucky because he won't have to worry about sexism because of the whole "I breath fire and can swim in lava" thing...but I digress. There are parts of this fic that separate it from being just a straight forward clop, yes there is quit a lot of that in this fic; however, this fic is also well written, the characters are likeable and there some genuine hard warming moments sprinkled here and there. There are two things that makes this work. The first is that unlike a lot of HIE this takes place from the pony's perspective(Dash) and the second is that Lero is somewhat relatable and has to learn the social norms of his new world.
>>642297642297 I believe the proper term would be 'erotica'. 'Clop', to me, is essentially a 'and then they fucked' sort of story.
This story, however, builds it up in such an incredible and meaningful way that it actually accentuates the sex with incredibly maddening degrees of ludicrously torturing detail. I like it.
And there are images? As if there wasn't enough detail already!
>>642667642667 Erotica. I like that word.
However, no, there're no pictures, only text submitted it as an image. Check it here and here. It's just the first two chapters, though, but the author does talk a lot about the fic there. (oh, and someone just gave me another link here. I've never been to that site, and I don't think I want to, but the author does answer some questions, and even gives a bit of detail about the upcoming chapter)
>>642658642658 I think this was written before season 2, or at least when it started. You're right, though.
The author responds to you with: "Remember that the story is being told mostly through the lens of Rainbow's experience. Just because one individual had an unfulfilling sexual encounter does not by any means mean that *all* such encounters are unfulfilling."
The author thought that nopony would get that reference, I'm glad that we keep proving him wrong
I'm glad I could help to share this with others. I love this story which was why I was so willing to take on the extra work of formatting it, and hosting it on my own account to help get this out to a wider audience.
I've always said that HiE stories start out with a major disadvantage simply because of the subject matter, but as you've stated, this story avoids the common pitfalls, and is well structured, well written, and keeps the characters engaging. It goes to show that talent will show through regardless of the setting.
The term erotica certainly does fit this better. It is first and foremost a romantic story with world building and sensual elements. You care about the characters, and so the sensual parts feel much more rewarding because you're emotionally invested in the character's happiness.
There aren't really pictures for the story (although if some artistic brony would care to *create* some that would be truly awesome hint hint anyone with artistic talent
What NG is talking about is that these stories were first posted up on ponibooru as images of text, it wasn't until recently that they were formatted for pastebin and now FiMFiction.
Or explosives...lots and lots of explosives.
I like it
Lero, (short for Bellerophon, for his parents had been odd folk)
And he gets to "ride" a pegasus.
This story is great!!! Tbh, I'm generally not a big fan of stories when it isn't explained how the human ends up in Equestria (or if something nonsensical happens, like he gets struck by lightning and teleported there, etc.) but this story's romance makes up for it. THIS BETTER BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I personally prefer when a story does what "Xenophilia" does and just treats it as a non-issue. Unless the story is going to revolve around how they got there or how they're going to get back, then I feel it makes more sense for an author to simply treat it as if it doesn't matter and not even try to give a BS answer. Since inter-dimensional travel is at best scientific hypothesis, even a well versed author could only throw techno-babble at the reader, or simply go with "It's magic, I don't have to explain shit" both of which are IMHO degrading to the reader because it's not an actual response.
By simply ignoring the mechanism of how they got there, or saying that they have no idea how it happened, the author isn't forced to condescend to the reader by trying to come up with an explanation for an unexplainable phenomenon.
But hey, that's just my 2 bits Stay awesome & thanks for reading!
Holy crap the world building! Or: World building in my clop-fic?
It's been mentioned before but I could take or leave the clop. It's the look into pony society from this perspective as well as the world/history building that kept me hooked. I'm really interested in the long term aspects of Lero's and Dash's relationship as well as them dealing with the not only intercultural but interspecies aspects of their relationship.
Also could you tell the author I want to personally thank him for not making this 2nd person perspective? So many experimental fics are and I always felt the reader loses a lot of potential characterization in 2nd person.
oh my. i don't usually like, uhm, this type of subject matter in my favorites listing. i, uhm, try to avoid it. but this fits so well with my own headcanon and it's really well written! it's kinda funny, i posted a very similar run-down on mlpheadcannons tumblr a while back but never did get around to writing anything with that setting.
of course, it's not a word-for-word rendition. Equestrian gender roles weren't exactly reversed when i wrote my ... headcanon thing. the relative power and prestige associated with them is. uhm, i mean ... human societies tend towards patriarchy due to several environmental factors, one of which is the normally hightened aggression in the human male (evolutionarily to fend off predators and threats to mating rights, for hunting et al). those with the ability and mentality to use violence, in the ancient world, would prosper more than those that were not so quick to the sword. kinda barbaric but that's history. of course, there are notable exceptions but generally that can be seen as the case.
in Equestria, because of the Equine and herbivorous nature of the species, the first response to predatory action would probably be to flee. only those in a position of relative force over predators would be able to fight or fend them off (pegasi being the primary one i'm thinking of) and that would heighten their aggressivness in regards to their brethren. therefore, violent aggressivness would be seen as counter to the will of the society in most cases. the Guard and other jobs traditionally associated with males on Earth would still be seen as male-specific roles but they would be seen more as 'needed evils' rather than honorable professions (barring leadership roles and crafting i suppose, those would be more mare-centric). the 'honorable and good' jobs were caring for children, bringin in food and other roles that human societies see as 'lesser' to the roles of protector and aggressor. so it's not a role reversal, though i really like that here. it was a ... societal reversal.
one of the things i would like to see is how rape is treated. uhm, that sounded bad. i mean, in humans, female-rape is specifically unfair to the female in a physical sense. the emotive responses to rape are the same in both genders of course and that should never be taken lightly but when a female is raped, it can leave the woman with an unwanted pregnancy and that is a specific economic and social strain on her (the rapist not giving care for the child and how unwed mothers traditionally are viewed et al). how is rape treated from an Equine point-of-view aside from it just being 'bad'? what environmental factors go into stallion-rape and how does that effect the Equine view of rape? male-rape amoung humans is more common than some think but it's still treated rather lightly even in the most enlightened of societies and i think it's due to the traditional view that a 'man can never be raped' as well as the thought that it's 'not so bad' for men because the pregnancy threat isn't there.
uhm, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to go all crazy with my own thoughts. i hope i didn't offend anyone. oh, i really shouldn't post all that but i really want to know. i'm sorry.
but i really like this! as a romance story, it works really well and while i don't normally like much clop except for the unintentional humor, this works on more than just a physcial desire. i like how the author is exploring a cultural aspect that is either glossed over or ignored in the more 'serious' HiE fiction works. though most HiE can be regulated to 'Human on Earth with Pony-Humans' in the social and cultural sense. might want to go through and clean up some more though. a few double-colons here and there. i'm guessing that denotes internal thoughts. and please, i would love to read more of this series. it's really nicely done.
The story is labeled "incomplete" is this true (since you are not the author) or did you just forget to change it?
The author is currently working on the next chapter, don't worry there's still more to come
THAT'S where I remember the story from. Was interested in the premise back then, and was hoping for a continuation.
C'mon, Dash--he is male, and thereforedense.
He has reach, but she lacks flexibility. Not that he cares.
>>642871642871 Orbital strike? You'd have to time it around the Sparkle family's shield capabilities, though.
>>645699645699 Oh okay, I'm going to ready it later then