• Member Since 11th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 4th, 2023

JapaneseTeeth


A guy with too much time on his hands. Enjoys writing and over-analyzing things.

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Lyra explains the unfortunate series of events that drove her to cry when the parasprite devoured her pie. Very minor shipping elements, with Bon Bon, obviously. It was inevitable.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

Loved it! Although I would love a sequel explaining it all! :twilightblush:

This is adorable. And poor Lyra... After a day like that, with that dumb song running through my head, I'd cry too.

Hang in there Lyra everybeing has had days like that. Pony, biped, griffon, or dragon It has happened to us all. You just have to try and g@ #&$* !$. Oh horse apples.

I like the premise, and the events themselves were humorous. But there were two things that I didn't like. The fact that this was told through first person. If it were third person, It's a lot funnier to see misfortune as an observer, but not as much to witness it through eyes of the victim.

Also, the prose could have been better, and a little more descriptive.

That was very good ! However Lyra's instrument IS a Lyre, not a harp. Or did you really meant to say a harp ? (which is bigger and needs to rest on the floor)

@Donald: The first person is just because I don't write things in 1st person very often, and I wanted to experiment with it. It probably didn't turn out quite as well as it could have, but it was fun to write. As for the prose...yeah, you're right. I probably should have gone through another draft of it, but I wanted to get it posted before I went on vacation. :derpytongue2: :twilightsheepish:

@DaXLR: I figured that the cutie mark is vague enough that it doesn't have to be exact; kinda like how Octavia plays a cello even though her cutie mark is a treble clef. Although I might want to change that anyway if it confuses people.

In any case, glad to hear that you guys enjoyed it. :yay:

So does a thumbs-up mean you approve of the story, or approve of Lyra's pain?

The story, hopefully.

I think this was very well written, and personally very much enjoyed seeing things through Lyra's perspective. Though I did laugh at times, I spent a lot of the fic simply wanting to give the poor Lyra a hug. The ending was very satisfying too, providing the poor dear with some much needed relief.

You get Autumn Wind's seal of approval, keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

Poor Lyra had a horrible day. This story was really funny, all the situations made me laugh out loud. Then I felt sorry for poor Lyra, loved that Bon Bon was there to help her in the end after all of that horrible stuff happened. Really enjoyed this story. Great job!:raritywink:

I would've broke down after the g-string snapped :fluttercry:

Should probably change the rating to "Teen."

Hey, this was funny! I laughed out loud at points, even. Poor Lyra really did have a lousy day. I did enjoy the first person aspect (something that I didn't consciously notice until about halfway through). The way you intermingled the plot elements of the Parasprite episode was well done, with you mentioning that they were around, Pinkie taking her banjo, etc. I always enjoy a fic that can wrap around plot elements of the show, stay faithful to said elements (i.e. not go Alternate Universe), and hook into small things that happen and expand on them. Well done!

Can't say I'm a fan of the shipping stuff in general, but it was natural here and didn't get in the way of things. The sultry language (by pony standards) was a little crude and unnecessary probably. That combined with some of the innuendo should probably bump this up to a teen rating, but it's not a huge deal. There are a few typos here and there (using a question mark where one isn't needed, misspelling "dessert" as "desert" at one point), but like the shipping thing it really didn't detract any.

Great job! I'd like to see a sequel to this: Lyra's Happy Day! I want Lyra to have a bout of good luck following this lousy day of hers. Keep up the good work!

poor Lyra she's lik eone of my favorite BG ponies

Fun Fact #28347528.34: if you type the word Gay in a post on ponychan, It wont appear as gay in your post but as Lyra:yay:

Not bad :moustache: An nice shot of bad luck for one unicorn and it all goes to hell. nice Work

This was adorable. Over the course of the story, it brings out so many different emotions. I expected one long pity party for Lyra, but there's a great sense of comedy, a sweet romance, and in a small way, tragedy. I especially love the way Lyra describes the pie.

Something I always found odd about first person narrative is that any normal person (pony) doesn't notice every single detail. In reality, we pick and choose which parts of our everyday lives are important enough to pay attention to. Yet, even though many of the events the occur, particularly early in the story, are quite mundane by dramatic standards, it still flowed well. Sure, despite her pain and stuffiness, and probably lack of clear thought, Lyra should be ignoring everything except the most important details, but her narration still works well enough.

As much as I appreciate the humorous pun, I find the 'g-string' joke awkward. It's very funny in a human world, but I wonder to myself if ponies know what g-strings are, and I shudder at the idea of them existing in Equestria.

I must say, VERY impressed with the ending. I never thought when I started reading this that the story would climax at a moment we're familiar with from show canon. It takes the story to a very different level to realize how this story turns out to be an ekphrasis. Something that was rather insignificant in the show being turned into a work of art. Beautiful, while still retaining the comedy and tragedy of the situation.

Have a moustache! You earned it!:moustache: Heck, have two! :moustache::moustache:

This was seriously entertaining. I feel very sorry for Lyra, and I can only hope her day got better after that.

aww that explains everything :pinkiesad2::fluttershyouch::fluttershbad::fluttercry:

So personally, you think "The Show Stoppers" happened before "Swarm of the Century"?

637058
Hey there, author of Waking Nightmares.

Well damn, sympathy for Lyra on this day. Cool how you seemed to have gotten this idea off of a small scene where Lyra cries.

Wow, incredible job expanding on that one little scene! Inspiration like this is why this show is so great :twilightsmile: Here's hoping Lyra has an awesome day tomorrow :applecry:

Poor Lyra, some days just have every single thing go right. :ajbemused:

Oh horseapples :facehoof:

I meant wrong. :twilightsheepish:

Poor Lyra. I would've probably shot myself after all that, that's just too many bad things in a row to happen lol.

Ugh... I've had days like that. All you want to do is crawl in a hole and not do anything.

Ah, yes, that one day where seemingly EVERYTHING goes wrong. It's something we can relate to, and something we can laugh at while, in a way, laughing at ourselves. You've presented this idea excellently here. Nice work!

I can relate to Lyra in this story on a spiritual level. As a chronic klutz and ccontender with Silver Quill as"Universal Butt Monkey", I've had more than my fair share of these. Well done good writer. Have a mango!

I've read this a few months ago, and it was a fun read. Great job on this story!

The fact that the story was written in first person was not a problem, I felt that it added to the charm.

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