(Written May 23, 2012, when this fic was #20 in the site queue)
Twilight Sparkle was walking through Ponyville with a mighty craving for something delicious to eat. She stopped by the cafe where she and Spike ate flower and grass during the very first episode of MLP:FiM.
The waiter walked up to Twilight and said, "Evening, mademoiselle. May I interest you in a cyanide capsule?"
Twilight looked up at the regal french stallion and said, "Cyanide? Isn't that deadly?"
The waiter chuckled jovially. "Why, no, Miss Sparkle. It is merely delicious. Perhaps to a creature of a lesser standing than a pony, it could cause problems, but you have nothing at all to worry about."
Twilight Sparkle thought for a moment. She'd heard that cyanide tastes like almonds, and she did love almonds a lot.
"Alright, waiter, I'll have three cyanide capsules."
"Certainly, Miss Sparkle."
The waiter headed back into the cafe to prepare her order. Twilight sat and breathed in the flowery aroma of a fresh breeze that wafted past her nostrils.
Pinkie Pie walked by. "Hi, Twilight!" Pinkie said, "What are you doing?"
Twilight grinned and said, "I'm getting some cyanide for lunch. Care to join me?"
Pinkie looked disappointed. "I would, Twilight, I really would, but you know what they say..." and then she was gone.
The waiter came back out with the cyanide capsules. "Enjoy, mademoiselle."
Twilight took a bite and died.
The waiter twirled his mustache. "That was the easiest assassination of all time."
He reported his success to Fluttershy, who exchanged a wicked smile with Angel Bunny.