Curses! A good looking story, but I have to read it later. Darn you school!

Wow.  This is really touching.  Poor Scoots and her self-esteem issues.  Hope she can work that out.  

D'AWWWWW

First comment of chapter 1.

I have yet to read it, but i will have about 2 hours tomorrow where i dont think I will be busy, i will print it and check it out then

>>638209638209

Sorry, i lied... i ran out of computer paper.  It is on my printer que for when i do get more paper, as the first thing i will print.

>>638285638285 No rush X3 I just hope you enjoy it.

First! Holy crap, this chapter updated not 5 minutes after I finished the last one. keep up the good work Tails_155!

I like her little insights, sketches, and added personality and how she keeps wondering if it's somehow her fault for everything. That sounds like something she would do.

>>638986638986

I'm glad you like it. I definitely had to think about things before I wrote it. It wasn't until I had a lot of these ideas already sketched out that I ever considered writing any of it. In fact, until I wrote my first fic (Not All is Set In Stone) I had no belief that writing any of it down was worth anything. After that one somewhat bombed, I figured I'd give a shot at a diary-like fic from Scootaloo's perspective. I was amazed how easy it was to make the episode references. Things just fell into place so well. I'm really happy with it!

I like the story but there is some problem that I wanted to point out I don't know if it is intentional but I wanted to point this out

I felt that it was a little quick to give FS and RD coltfriends rather quickly or having that RD adopt her before Season 2. The main problem is that I fell it will not blend well with the story and will get rather confusing for incedents like read it and weep but it is still very good and heart retching and I think you can pull it off.

>>639316639316

I''m in the process of figuring out how to handle season 2. It's worked well, so far. I have some that I know are significant.

I like this and you do a pretty good job of capturing the mindset of children and the way they think. Do you work with kids or something?

There were a couple of minor issues with entry 51: the second paragraph is kinda muddled, and it sounds like you got luck and shooting mixed up somewhere.

>>640102640102

Could you point them out to me? Sometimes having written something makes it hard to see when it doesn't make sense.

"Shooting Star really knows his way around. He says..."

So the section starts with how Shooting Star knows his way around, and every "He" afterward is then presumed to be Shooting star, until you get to the last sentence which says: "he hadn't gotten to talk with me or Shooting Star or Rainbow Dash much." at which point Shooting star is talking to himself.

I think you meant to say Lucky and RD instead.

Another excellent chapter.  I'm really surprised at how fast you're getting these out.  Guess I'm just used to stories that take weeks for one chapter.

>>640256640256

HAHAHA! Oops! Good catch!

>>640272640272

Well, I had a lot of the ideas before Entry 46 already planned out way before I started writing. Somewhere in the posts here I explained the "history" (if you can call it that) of this project.

Jesus! How fast is this fic going to update? It's great!  

>>640701640701

Thanks!

I kinda just have to keep going when I start or I fear I'll stop writing it.

Scootaloo brings up a very valid point in the cider incident. I was wondering that myself, actually.

I like the little throw-away lines. "Apple Bloom almost went through a window."

>>642272642272

The Cider Incident episode was my second least favorite episode (Pinkie Keen being my least favorite. I found the "moral" absolutely awful.) I figured Scootaloo would also find the way the town treated a close-friend-family very upsetting.

>>642272642272

On my deviantART I have a breakdown analysis of why I found the cider incident episode to be the worst of the season.

Really liking it Can't wait for more!

Poor Applebloom, everyone has a coltfriend but her

Just noticed How Cuuuuuuuuuute do Featherweight and Scootaloo are together.

>>644622644622

It actually came to me during writing of this. I think so, too!

That was adorable.  

I'd have wanted to buck her in the face too. I think that tiara spends alot of time up her c-REDACTED-

i love it.i hope you add more soon.

Holy Buck, How fast is this Updating?!

Nice chapter. I guess your first fic wasn't that great because... Well, It was very ambicious to a First. I Guess.

Damn you get updates fast. This chapter was pretty good, though I feel I need to read the other story to get a better understanding of everything, but it was still good none the less. I still wonder why we bronies seem to pick on Scootaloo more than any other character.

lol, printed first few segments, this is great.  Not too dark, but not stupid at all, good balance.

>>646604646604

Define: pick on. <.<

>.>

I, personally, adore her.

>>647234647234

Oh I do too. Scootaloo is my favorite pony. But as for pick on, almost every story I read about her, she's orphaned, sad, beat-up, and Celestia knows what else. She gets happy endings all the time, but she's always the one thrown into the crappy spots. I just find it weird sometimes.

>>647245647245

Well, conflict is necessary for a story.

As far as orphaning. It's easy. She doesn't have any known family in true canon. Many people overlook that technically Apple Bloom is also orphaned, because she does, at least have family role models.

>>647258647258

True, and I'm all for it as well, but really the only true canon families are the Apple's, Twilight's, Rarity's and Pinkie's. Maybe its just female pegasi that don't have families . It would explain a lot.

>>647270647270

What do the scriptwriters have against female pegasoi? D:

*like up*

>>647495647495

Man, you are just cranking these things out.  This is almost a scary pace.  

Still, great writing and I can't wait to read more.

>>647552647552

Sadly, unless I am like "OMG IDEA" tomorrow, I may stall it for a while, POTENTIALLY all the way to Season 3. I doubt that long, though.

Postponed until season 3?  

I honestly wouldn't mind... Hopefully you'll have more Scoots to play with in S3. Season 2 was depressingly deprived of Scootaloo

>>647584647584 Of all the things that could happen, this is... THE...WORST...POSIBLE THING!

>>649365649365

THE WORST!

poorscootaloo

poorscootaloo

Im in tears after the last chapter....

The romance tag has me hesitant... Dunno if want. But the synopsis seems so interesting at first glance.

First!

>>661075661075

Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.

Anyways...

Romance and bees in the same chapter. Nice. Especially the bees part.

For some reason, bees are just funny.

THIS STORY IS THE BEE'S KNEES

Things have definitely stabilized and become super adorable... I know you were planning on holding out till season 3 to cover more of the episodes but really you should't probably just keep going alt verse with it and have it wrap up in a natural conclusion. This is a very good character piece on Scoots after all I'd hate to see it kinda meander for 6 monthes...

>>663813663813 I want it to stay as credible to the canon as possible, though. That's hy I want to stick with that wait period. I intend it to stay as loyal to the show while still having my ideas bud into it.

Stories like this make me feel incredibly happy - Don't mind at all if there's a break till series 3, this is basically canon as far as I'm concerned. :)

Reading this While hearing Twilight's BBBFF song is just... Weird enough, Fitting.

Awww... Applebloom and Ocean Breeze, sitting in an Apple Tree, Making us, Write some Clopfi... I mean, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

>>665639665639

>>665649665649 No clopfix.

>>665672665672 I know, I just Said it as a Lame Joke

>>663950663950 I can respect that attitude, you have more resolve then me. Guess I'll just have to fav it then

>>666000666000

I may "feed a year into the narrative," though. It depends how much I go "I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!" before fall. (Followed by me writing said bad idea, and everyone liking it for whatever reason people seem to enjoy this. I appreciate it, but I still don't consider myself a fic writer.)

>>666000666000

P.S. your post was apparently comment number 666000. Just thought you should know.

You've made some Grammar Mistakes, Like " We introduced him to our friends, our families, and Miss Cheerilee. We told *him* he was thinking about moving to town, and she said she would be more than happy to have him in class"

But I still Can't put this Straight...

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!! HIATUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS?!?!

>>666720666720

I dunno for sure if it's hiatus, yet. It depends on if I keep getting ideas or not.

>>666720666720

Also, LOL@mistake.

Great chapter. I love this story.

You need ideas? I'm totally willing to help. (Gotta catch up on season 2 though first.)

>>666834666834

This is kinda supposed to be my closed ideas, though if you want to cowrite something with me, I'm sure I can come up with some frameworks for ideas. I probably wouldn't have it in me to write something else, in full, but I could suggest ideas, edit, and maybe do _some_ writing.  

You story contradicts itself.

In entry #18, back in chapter 1, you stated Scooterloo left her old scooter she got from her parents back home when she ran away to Pomyville.  You also stated she managed to raise enough money to BUY a NEW scooter to replace it.

So the old scooter she has now is NOT the one from her parents, but a replacement one she bought after they died.  There would be no connection to her real parents to cause her not to want to replace it.

Three ways you could fix this is just state Scooter likes her old scooter so much she doesn't want to replace it. Or just have her getting the new scooter and dropping everything about the old scooter and her real parents.

HOWEVER, you could also just add a line to an entry AFTER her Aunt Raincloud moves to Ponyville. Like in entry #26, where she gives Scooterloo the locket. You could add that she also saved & brought with her Scooterloo's first scooter and that Scoots dumped the replacement because the first one was from her parents and a better quality scooter as well.  That would take care of your story conflicting with itself.

>>668553668553

Didn't even notice I did that. The last one is what happened in my mind, I think, it just never made it to the story...

Will fix

>>668553668553

Fixed, and credited on my deviantART entry #26.

Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss. Happy Scootaloo is best pony.

Featherweight is close second though.

I have the nagging feeling that the next set of entries are going to be very sad.  

>>671810671810

I really don't know, lol. Right now I wouldn't say so. It does read ominously, though.

>>671732671732

I call it a tie Of course I think lots of ponies are best pony. I'm not biased to pegasi for any reason other than I enjoy the personalities of them: Scoots, Featherweight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Derpy are my 5 faves, just happens that all of them are pegasi.

Great Chapter and poor Scootaloo.

Oh Snap!    Somepony tip the waiter, 'cause Diamond Tiara just got served!  

Wonderful story thus far, Tails. I can't wait for the next update, I hope its soon

Actually enjoyed reading that.  

>>678070678070

Shut up Diamond Tiara.

This is the best Scootaloo Story I have read in a very long time. Add to that the fact that the format of the story is unique in and of itself and you get a great experience.

The earlier chapters felt a bit rushed, but now I think they have settled into a comfortable pace. The only thing I would like to see included is more background adventures and events. Ponyville is an interesting place, and while not every event would include a young filly, there are enough general panics and world shattering chaotic events that something should. However, if you want to stick with a slice of life style, far be it from me to object.

In any event, keep up the good work.

>>686353686353

I don't believe it! I shed tears multiple times! That's rare for me. You sir, have created a masterpiece!

>>688016688016 Thank you so much! !!!

"It's a fun game, and at worst someone gets bonked with a ball, right?"  

...

...

...

...

And thus did Scootaloo utter forth one of the forbidden phrases that invoke the almighty power of the dread Murphy.  

What could possibly go wrong?

I sense DIamond Tiara getting smashed in the face. Multiple times.

That was, Maybe, the most sad chapter of all. Nice work.

>>690277690277 And not exactly with the Ball

Bro... these feels. What do I do with them? Seriously, nice chapter man. On a side note, why does everyone HAVE to invoke the wrath of the almighty Murphy when things are just starting to look up? "It's a fun game, and at worst someone gets bonked with a ball, right?"  Never say the "right?" after you've said something is the worst. NEVER.

I liked this chapter.

You're the only author that has actually made an enjoyable fictitious story involving any kind of ponies romancing. Thank you for that.

>>690695690695 That is a genuine honor to hear.

>>690695690695 Also, it wouldn't if I added everything. I really have to cut out a lot of sappy woop-de-doo cuddling.

>>691745691745

personally I'd keep it the way it is, I think it has just the right amount of it.

unless you mean you usually cut a lot of it out after you write a part; at which point keep doing whatever you're doing

As in, a lot of thinking up how it goes, there's more cuddly lovey stuff, but I know that that isn't really super story-y, so I just don't bother to write it lol.

>>689792689792

Why do I now see Featherweight in a wheel chair, lobbing wrenches at the CMC, and quoting mediocre comedies?

I sense foreshadowing with the last words in the chapter   Nice chapter by the way

You earn a mustache

This is awesome!

Sad stuff...

Awww scoots...

Things are a bit dusty in here

My d'awwwwww meter just forcefully exploded. This is beautiful.

This is so amazing.

Mustache to you.