The only chapter
"... And the night was a complete disaster, but Celestia said afterwards she hadn't enjoyed herself so much in years!!". Princess Twilight Sparkle finished regaling the other three ponies at the table in the cafe the infamous tale of her first Grand Galloping Gala experience... To complete silence from those assembled.
A few moments later, realising the princess had finished her shaggy dog story, Twinkle Shine burst into a hearty laugh... Almost TOO hearty. Then, under her seat, she nudged Minuette, who similarly started giggling like she'd just heard the greatest joke ever. Lemon Drops was the next mare to receive a little prod, and soon the trio of ponies were making such a racket that most of the other clientele stopped what they were eating or drinking to stare at these somewhat hysterical ponies.
Twilight looked at the reactions of the other customers, and then whispered to her noisy entourage "Er girls... It wasn't THAT FUNNY" with a somewhat embarrassed smile. Almost immediately, the three of them stopped their impromptu laughter and looked nervously at Twilight.
"We're sorry, we just think you're the best storyteller EVER" gushed Twinkle .
"If anyone else had told us that, it wouldn't have been HALF as hilarious" beamed Minuette.
"Go on... Tell us another one... We promise to be quieter" swore Drops.
Twilight looked at each face, staring at her with rapt attention. Something strange was going on here. She'd been sat here with the trio for a few hours now... And the response to her anecdotes was the same. Uproarious giggles, followed by effusive praise. It was starting to irritate her a bit.
Plus, it didn't even seem the other three mares seated were even LISTENING to her. They were either looking around the room to see if anyone had spotted the little group, or they seemed to be pointing her out to passers-by. Almost as if... No, Spike couldn't be right...
She decided to put her theory to the test. It WAS a little under-handed, but she must know the truth.
"Okay, I'll tell you what happened when Discord got free in a moment. But tell me... What was your favourite part of the last story I told you, if the three of you loved it so much?"
It was like someone had asked them to count the amount of dropped foliage after the Falling Of The Leaves.
"Eeeerrrrrrr..." muttered Twinkle.
"Hmmmmmm..." pondered Minuette.
"Wweellll..." thought Drops, before sheepishly stating "All of it?"
"YEAH!!" "I was going to say that too!!" Twinkle and Minuette agreed, and there was much relief all round... Almost as if this was a brilliant answer.
Twilight was somehow less convinced.
The princess put her hoof to her temple, and sighed. "Spike told me this might be happening. I didn't want to believe him, but I guess my determination to make amends clouded my judgement. The three of you... Don't really know me at all do you?"
Glancing nervously at each other, then at her, the three mares seemed to go into panic mode. "Of course we do!!" said Twinkle, slightly frantically. "You're Twilight Sparkle, our good friend from school!!"
"You come from Canterlot, just like we do!!" squeaked Minuette.
"And now you're a PRINCESS!!" added Drops, like this was the greatest thing in the world.
"Yes, yes, yes. All that is true. But do you know ME?" said Twilight, with a little exasperation. "For instance... What's my brother's name? My favourite author? My best food?"
The three mares, realising the jig might be up, formed a makeshift huddle. Twilight shook her head in amazement. This was beginning to get... Rather desperate.
A few swapped answers and a bit of silent bickering later, the trio were ready to resume the conversation.
"Your brother's name is Rusty Chainmail" uttered Twinkle. "He was a black stallion, wasn't he?"
"Your favourite writer is the AMAZING J.K Rowling." said Minuette. "I should know, because I've read all her Hairy Ascotter books".
"And your best food? Quesadillas of course!!" Drops spoke with confidence." We used to eat them all the time at recess!!"
Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were all completely wrong... And in one case, bizarrely incorrect. She lowered her head, and felt somewhat guilty how she'd just swept Spikes now legitimate concerns from earlier on under the metaphorical carpet. She should listen to the little guy more often.
Not knowing what to say, Twilight simply sat up, and made her way to the cafe door. Looking at one another with barely disguised shock, the three mares left behind tried to block her from leaving.
"We're sorry, it's just that..." spluttered Twinkle.
"You're SO much cooler now..." stated Minuette.
"Then when you were an egghead!!" Drops pronounced that last word as if it was a curse.
Twilight cringed in horror. So THAT's what they really thought of... "Now, listen very carefully." she told the trio, rather coldly. "I'm STILL that 'egghead', my new position doesn't change that one iota. Just because I have wings now, doesn't mean I've somehow transformed into a different mare. And I don't think you three understand that, unlike..." She suddenly remembered somepony very important...
"We DO, honestly!!" pleaded Twinkle.
"Give us another chance!!" begged Minuette.
"Yeah!! We'll REALLY pay attention to your stories this time!!!" That was, of course, Drops.
The princess rolled her eyes, and let out a weary sigh. "That's not the point. The fact is, ever since I returned, you three have been treating me more like some kind of celebrity, than an actual friend. You're not really all that interested in what I have to say, but you DO enjoy the trappings of being closely affiliated with a member of the Royal Family. Well I'm sorry, but I only want to hang around those who like me for myself, and don't put on a fake act just to try and win my favour. So, I bid you good-day. Come on Spike, we're leaving now."
To the cry of "At last!!" from her number one assistant, Twilight made her exit, framed by the downcast faces of her so-called 'friends'. Twilight KNEW the little dragon would have been eavesdropping from his place at the nearby bar, and shot him a look as if to say "Don't say 'I told you so!!'". Spike picked up on this, but still looked pretty smug as the duo made their way to a certain building...
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Moon Dancer, a bespectacled, studious yellow unicorn, was not in a very good mood. She had just spent the morning avoiding the overtures of one of her old schoolmates, and former best friends, Twilight Sparkle. "Just because she's a princess, and gets to hang around with the fancy ponies, doesn't mean..." she fumed, while trying to stack some books, but failing every time due to her aggressive temperament.
Who did Twilight think she was, anyway? Socialising with the very ponies who used to mock them for being geeks in class, as if pretending nothing had happened. Had she REALLY forgotten about all the bullying, and taunting that had made their lives a misery back then? Well, Dancer was not going to be so forgiving. ESPECIALLY to one who abandoned her at the drop of a hat... Without so much as a goodbye... Leaving her all alone...
'KNOCK, KNOCK!!' Came the sound from the door. Lost in her thoughts, Dancer flinched at the sudden noise... Which, of course, resulted in the carefully organised heap of books she was manipulating with her horn to collapse. AGAIN.
Seething with frustration, she shouted at the top of her voice "WHO IS IT?!" (As if she didn't know).
"It's Prin... It's Twilight Sparkle. I'm here to talk to you. PLEASE don't shut me out."
"Huh" scoffed Dancer. "And I suppose you've brought your fan club with you as well?!"
"Wha..." came the reply "No, I left them behind. PLEASE let me in. I've got a lot of explaining to do."
"You're not going to leave me in peace until then, are you?" sighed Dancer, in resignation. "Very well, you've got five minutes." She opened the door with her magic, allowing Twilight entry... With Spike waiting outside.
Trotting over to two nearby chairs, the mares sat down... One with a look of sincerity, the other with an expression of complete disinterest. Twilight got the ball rolling.
"Look, ever since I arrived back, I've been trying to make amends with everypony. I thought that ever since I became an alicorn, I'd lost touch with my roots, and I was eager to make things right. But, it turns out my memories were false. Those who I THOUGHT were my friends at school, couldn't care less about me back then... And are only interested in me now because of my new status. I don't want friends like that. I want ponies who liked me for being the mare I was... Both now, and then."
"You LEFT ME BEHIND!!" Dancer's anger, bubbling under the surface, finally erupted. "WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A FAREWELL!! With you gone, I had NOPONY!! I've just been sitting here, day after day, going to the library... Coming back... That's been my life!! And the minute you DO return... The first thing you do... Is go to see our former tormentors. HOW COULD YOU?! We were ALWAYS there for each other, Twilight. At least I THOUGHT that. But as soon as you got a better offer, you were off without a word. And now, you're best pals with those who used to taunt us. Well, I'm very happy for you. Now, would you please leave."
The mental exertion perpetuated from so much emotional baggage took it's toll... And Dancer couldn't help but burst into tears, running down her face in between loud sobs.
Twilight felt a great sense of guilt at the sight... This was HER doing. How could Celestia have made such a big mistake... Crowning her the Princess Of Friendship... When she couldn't keep friendships with those who were closest to her?
Unsure of what to do, and with a few streaks of water running down her own cheeks, Twilight decided to follow her instincts. She trotted over to where Dancer was sitting, unfurled one of her wings, and hugged her old friend with it.
Despite being mad with the alicorn, Dancer, couldn't deny the warmth and the comfort of the gesture, and snuggled up to it, burrowing her wet visage into the feathers.
Encouraged by this sign, Twilight decided to do the same with the other wing, and soon Dancer was enveloped in a tight, yet soft embrace.
Hearing the sobs slowly petering out, Twilight decided to take her chance. "I know all that, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. In the heat of the moment after receiving that order from Princess Celestia, I forgot about about one of the ponies closest to me. And ever since then, I've been so busy making NEW friends, I forgot about my OLDEST one... You. Those others I was talking to just now... They didn't care about me back in the day... And the only reason they're fawning over me at this moment is because of my new position. I see that now. I want to spend time with those who consider me an equal, not sycophants and toadies. So please, take my hoof and let's spend the day together, just like old times."
With bloodshot eyes, Dancer looked up at Twilight, unsure of what to do. It was the calm, sympathetic look in Twilight's eyes that eventually helped make her mind up, and she grasped the hoof on offer, before the two of them hugged each other again... This time, with their limbs.
"Thank you" sighed Dancer "I really needed to hear that.
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An hour later, the pair were sitting on the floor, comparing notes on some esteemed tomes they'd been reading and catching up with each other's research. It really was just like they were kids again... And both mares were thoroughly enjoying each other's company. "How could I have missed moments like THIS." Twilight thought to herself. "It just goes to show... That sometimes, even The Princess Of Friendship needs a lesson."
Then, there came the second knock on Dancer's door that day.
The two ponies stopped their studying, and looked at each other. On a whim, Dancer decided to open the door with her spell... And there stood three very apologetic looking mares, along with a perturbed Spike.
"I tried to stop them, but they INSISTED on seeing you" said the young dragon, with his arms crossed and tapping his foot on the floor.
Twinkle stepped forward first "Look we just came by to say we're all very sorry..."
"For all the trouble we caused you both back then," continued Minuette, with her head bowed.
"And for trying to leech off your fame now" finished Drops, looking as ashamed as the others.
Twilight and Dancer looked at each other. They SEEMED genuine enough... But there was a LOT to forgive... So, how to respond?
"Tell you what" said Twilight, ever the peacemaker, "If Dancer agrees, then the three of you can come in for a drink. But I want you to treat me as a fellow pony... Not as a 'princess' or a 'star'. Then, maybe we can air out some of our issues, and we can understand each other better. Do you agree?" She turned to Dancer, who gave an affirmative, if slightly hesitant, nod.
Twinkle, Minuette and Drops looked amazed. This was FAR more than they could have hoped for. They couldn't say "YES!!" fast enough, before all crowding in and made themselves comfortable.
"You too, Spike!!" Twilight smiled at her little friend, just as he was about to go back to waiting outside, in a huff. She was determined not to neglect anyone close to her ever again, especially not the loyal dragon who'd stood by her for so many years.
Joyfully, Spike made his way into the room as well, and as the door closes, so does our story.
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"making out as if nothing had happened."
Uhh, Shouldn't that be: "making up" or "going out".
6169542 Edited. But I would like to state for the record, that YOU sir/madam, have a very dirty mind now...
6169549 I have long since embraced that side of myself.
As should everyone else.
Also: "As if pretending nothing had happened"
Pretty sure you can take out the word, "pretending".
6169580 I COULD do... But, nah.
One of the minor perks of this being my story, y'see.
Still, thanks for the grammatical advice, and the unprecedented look at the inner workings of your psyche.
Much appreciated. Really.
In the episode they forgot about Lyra heartstrings. You could find her name at this point 03:00
Funny, the whole 'they didn't really like her, they were just pretending to so they could reap the perks of being friends with a princess' thing was genuinely how I believed the episode was going to pan out, so I was expecting to like this.
I did not however, the writing is all fine apart form a few spelling mistakes peppered throughout, my main issue is with the pacing. One paragraph in and Twilight is already suspecting them, one sentence into her conversation with Moondancer and she's already letting out her bottled up emotions, and after one weirdly synchronised apology Moondancer (who need I remind you, was the one who didn't like the other three to begin with) allowed them to come in. Rushed really is the word for this story, but there were a few other nitpicks.
You wrote 2539 words (take a few), so either you consider that to be a lot which it most certainly isn't, or you just couldn't be arsed, either way it's hardly much more effort to write out names in full (in the cases of those who always have their names spoken in full, as opposed to characters like Twilight Sparkle who is actually referred to in the show as just Twilight from time to time).
You also overuse upper-case words, you use them for when characters are shouting as well as when they're adding emphasis to a word, you do realise there are italics for the latter right?
And finally you ended the story with a large and completely unnecessary dollop of Spike-wank. So yeah, started with a good idea, could've been better if you put some more effort into it rather than just churning out the most basic, safe thing.
6169702 Iintterreessttiinng. Do bear in mind that this story was indeed 'a rush job', I wasn't trying to write a masterpiece. Most of the stuff you've taken umbrage to probably could have been taken care of by someone with more time on their hands... Who alas, isn't me.
A few things I will say: Twilight had already been in the cafe for a few hours, so it's not like she suspected them right off the bat. And EVERYTHING Twilight's 'friends' did was synchronised... That was kind of the joke. Finally, as I inferred, Twilight's interactions with Dancer that day had extended throughout the morning, so it's not like this emotional tirade came from nowhere.
It's fine if you don't like it, and I'm not going to start pestering you to change your opinion (You must get that a lot, considering the statement you've left on your profile page). I hope that other people feel the same way when I constructively criticise their work on this site, as I've got plenty of aggro about that, as well.
Thanks for reading. Also, I don't care what ANYONE says... Your namesake will always be the best Superman
I think this story is pretty good and did a better job with the way the show set it.Most of twilight's (besides moon dancer and main 5) "friends", didn't seem to care as much about her.I mean seriously, no one but pinkie gets that hype to see and old friend.
Ok, Moondancer getting sad because Twilight missed ONE party? Yeah, one doesn't go from good friend to 'I'm just gonna blow you off for more important things' just like that. These things are gradual and take time. Twilight would've missed a lot more parties and Moondancer would've DEFINITELY noticed something by then.
This is just one big plot hole that they left in and made all of Moondancer's problems with Twilight irrelevant. Also, one more thing:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/11/10/469269__safe_comic_idw_spoiler-colon-comic_lemon+hearts_moondancer_tail+ribbon.png
This is the design I like more than the one in the show.
6172486 Wellllll, Moon Dancer did put herself out there for the first time ever by throwing that party and it was Minuette and the others who convcinced her to do it even though she wasn't as great of friends with them as Twilight knew them. However, Twilight knew Moon Dancer very well, to the point that they were genuinely the best of friends, so it's easy to believe that she would have a very big grudge against Twilight for not only missing out on her party, but for also leaving for nearly two years without so much as a good-bye, or drop of a line from somepony who's supposed to be her BEST FRIEND.
That being said, I think both versions- the canon and this story, work very well and would both be very good episodes.
6172937 I don't know. It's just not for me.
6172486
6172937
I agree with MasterSpike, and one could argue that Moon Dancer's own fault that Twilight never came to her party. Moon Dancer didn't even sent Twilight an invitation.
Frankly the whole 'Twilight having friends before she went to Ponyville (with the exception of Cadence, her brother and Spike) is unnecessary retcon if you ask me.
PS, good work on this story deadpansnarker.
7890035
Uh, you DO remember that they KNEW about the party before Twilight had to leave in the pilot episode right?
That's why Spike had the present. He even comments on it being the present FOR MOONDANCER that still had some of it undamaged.
7891719 True but Twilight never actually knew Moon Dancer wanted her to come to the party. And Spike could have heard about from somepony else.
Hey its just a theory, a Pony theory.
7891755
That... doesn't really make sense, though.
Moondancer was closest to TWILIGHT. And you want me to believe she didn't tell her closest friend to come to her party?
That's shenanigans. That's also BS.
7891896 Again this is just me but again the Twilight's friendship with Moon Dancer is unnecessary retcon. But I can respect your what believe in.
7891903
7891896
LOL Why on Earth has this story suddenly started attracting so much attention, more than a year after I first wrote it?
I'd be the first to say it's not brilliant, but I really want to know why I'm getting upvotes and downvotes and comments for it now, after so long of basically nothing. Could someone please explain? Cheers.
7893292
I saw it appear in one of my groups, and just had a look.
Then I got into that discussion you see.
7893292 I found this and just wanted to explain how I felt.
Twilight can be quite blind for how smart she is. If she couldn't make the connection that princess Celestia and nightmare moon were the sister in the legend without being told. She could easily missed the clues that moondancer thought she was her best friend. Hell I can name at least ten times when twilight was more clueless than a rock!
Ticket master! All twilight had to do was refused to go. And she let everypony drive her nuts.
Griffon the brush-off. Twilight didn't even listen to pinkie talking about Gilda hurting Fluttershy emotional. She just assumed pinkie was jealous.
Boast busters. Twilight didn't even listen to spike who told her defending her friends is different from bragging. She didn't even listen to someone who knows her.
Lesson zero. Twilight also refused to listen to spike that he felt like it was bad enough to go behind twilight and call Celestia. She could have easily hurt somepony with that spell!
Swarm of the century. She ignore pinkie when she knew pinkie for awhile and still didn't even take her idea at all.
Owls that ends well. She didn't even notice spike was jealous of the owl and she even yelled at him cause him to run-a-away.
The best night ever twilight most likely have been to the gala before and should have known Celestia would be too busy to talk.
Too many pinkie pies. Twilight could even tell the clone pinkies and the real pinkie who was super sad.
Keep calm and flutter on.
Twilight didn't even trust Fluttershy at all even though she had been big help.
Castle mane-ia. She didn't take spike's fear of spiders into thought.
I'm just say twilight isn't good at catching clues. I could go on but won't. It is logical that twilight would miss the clue with moondancer anyway
7989183
Yes, let's ignore the fact that she was never given an actual moment to think in the episode, it's not like every five seconds on of her friends or another was trying to get the other ticket.
I think you have mistaken not believing with not listening because she clearly heard Pinkie out and since this was so early in their friendship she assumed that Pinkie jumped the gun, and given what we have seen up to that point, it's reasonable for Twilight to make such a conclusion.
Really... let's see Twilight hatched Spike, and he had to that point been extremely childish, so trust an immature boy who will say whatever to get you to do something and knows what to say because he 'knows' you or your instincts... hard choice
... You are aware that Pinkie never took the time to talk to anypony and basically expected them to follow her blindly
... I think you are forgetting something the draconequus in the room, the avatar of chaos, the embodiment of disharmony...DISCORD!!!
So why did she ask if Spike went in Ticketmaster is she went to a gala? Oh because she never been to one, like it was said in The Ticket Master
It's not like she didn't walk into him making a mess in an attempt to frame the bird.
, it's not like people with only a tenuous grasp on sanity never reject a sane's person advice
How would she have known, from all the evidence she had she could have easily concluded that the dejected Pinkie was a fake, there was almost no way anyone aside from the audience to know the difference.
You're 1 for 10, try again
8095323
Ticket Master. There is a moment where Twilight was left alone for a few minutes. She KNEW Ponyville WAS a Small village. Twilight Can be forgiven because she was new to having friends.
Griffon The Brush-off. I recently re-watch that episode and when Pinkie told Twilight about Gilda all Twilight did was just kept reading until pinkie yelled to try help a friend and then she just accused Pinkie of being jealous without even listening until pinkie got steamed at her.
Boost Busters
Spike was only childish in that one episode. well everypony was Foalish in that episode even Trixie. Who tried to talk Twilight out of sending the letter in the first episode? Spike. Spike has help her before and Twilight should have listen to him.
swarm of the century Twilight had known pinkie for a little bit of time. she knew pinkie was random but always try to help to keep a smile on others.
Keep calm and Flutter On Twilight Knew Fluttershy for nearly a year at this point. She didn't even give Fluttershy a chance to try. she went with the others trying to sabotage Fluttershy.
Best night ever. It was never said that she hasn't been to the gala. she may have before because she is Princess Celestia's private student. and she said in Art of the Dress: I'll just where the one I wore last time. which set off rarity and the who concept of that episode.
Owls that ends well. Twilight didn't even notice him getting jealous even when he tried to talk to her about it. she snaps right out of the blue when Spike get caught.
lesson zero. Spike told her not to worry about it before she went insane.
too many pinkies pies. Twilight had been with them for a year. and saw Pinkie acting guilty before. there were obvious signs even Rainbow Dash Noticed the most headstrong pony notice something was different and twilight didn't.
True that flaw did get better in season four. But Twilight still has the problem of not seeing everything.
if there is a problem Twilight is more likely to think it's no big deal until something goes wrong.
anyways are you excited for season 7 airing tomorrow?
8095323
Well maybe Gilda was a jerk but pinkie wasn't totally innocent there either. That was supposed be dash and Gilda Time and pinkie kept butting in unwilling to let someone else have dash attention for a while. The pranks must have been too much after spending time trying to get away from pinkie.