I am of being writer of pony fiction. You be reading of stories that are write by me. Am make many tales of small horse.
You're probably wondering where I am, and where I've been all this time. You may have spoke with that human, and he may have told you that I am no longer in Hell. This is quite true. Hell, as it turns out, is a kind of "gateway dimension": it is connected to countless other dimensions, including Equestria and wherever that grim fellow came from. I found myself in one of these dimensions, and, wouldn't you know it, there are humans here, too, although I doubt it's the same dimension that marine is from. Anyway, I blended in, and managed to get to a decent spot in power.
Now, you're probably wondering, "What does any of this have to do with me, or any of Equestria?" Oh, Celestia, you never change. Back to the point, I sent this letter because I wanted to let you know that I might be coming back soon, and I got a brand new kind of chaos to unleash. When will I come back? I won't say. Wouldn't want to spoil the fun, now, would we?
See you soon,
Discord smiled, and sent off the letter to Equestria. He had indeed blended into this new world, managing to start up a multimillion dollar company, with some assistance from his magic. The humans did have some strange ways of running things, but Discord quickly adapted. Still, this business was a bit too orderly for him. Thankfully, he found out a way to make some chaos, while still blending in with the humans none the wiser.
A contest. Discord knew that even the smallest of competitions can generate large amounts of chaos. His line of thinking figured that, if a small contest can make a lot of chaos, then a huge contest can make even more. He wanted to put this plan to action as soon as possible, making this the first year of it; he decided on yearly contests, both to not draw unneeded attention to himself, and to get the full amount of chaos possible. He'd need a few years to practice with the idea before it was fit for Equestria, so he figured he would bide his time.
The phone on his desk beeped, and he pressed the speaker button.
"Sir, the contestants are ready."
"Thank you." Even if it was a bit narcissistic, Discord loved the sound of his new voice. It was almost completely different from his other one, but he changed it on the off chance that someone could recognize it; better safe than sorry. Besides, it seemed to match his new look.
Switching his PA speaker to a channel for just this occasion, he spoke the words that would kick start his plan.
"Greetings, drivers. I am Calypso, and I thank you for joining the first annual Twisted Metal contest..."