- Member Since 3rd Jul, 2015
- offline last seen Sep 30th, 2015
HPOD
I am a new writer, i feel like making short stories will improve me so much. I also want to read a lot of fanfics, funny thing is that the only one i read before is Fallout:Equestria
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I actually have a Fallout Equestria story with the same title.
6164705 Oh really? Damn man... Ill change the title if you wish
Two chapters in one day, nice. Anyway I'm just going to tell you one thing and that is to go back through these two because of minor spelling errors in both. Over all though I enjoy It so please keep going and make a story that everyone will enjoy, you're already in the right direction.
6178377 Thanks man! That really boosted me. I plan to keep up this story and try to make at lest one story a day if i can, but i may be starting a new story so this one could be pushed back a bit but we will see
6184876 I'm always glad to hear when what I say helps people and once again liking the story. Be careful if you do write another story as well because you don't want to stretch what you do too much. Anyway glad to see this and can't wait to see what you come up with in the future.
I don't think Snowy knows what he's getting into especially since these buffalo remind me a lot of the great khans. Actually scratch that the white legs now that I think about it, but anyway I can't wait to see how this is going to be handled. Advice time, once again spelling mistakes in these chapters I don't mind them but I say this because others might (trust me I have seen some rude people) however this seems like an interesting arc and if people get into the story they will enjoy it despite that issue. I'm not very good for advice though so maybe I'm missing things but I digress.
6185972 Ya, i been trying but i am not that good when it comes to grammar. And yes the Wild Buffalo are meant to be basically the Great Khans but with a bit of fiend mixed in
6186247 Like I said I have no problem with it what so ever there simple mistakes that anyone can make. heck I'm sure my story has more than a few. Also A fiend khan mix sounds interesting can't wait to see how it turns out considering how both factions work in new vegas. As for the changelings mentioned You put an interesting spin on how they mutated and now feed on love which I find to be rather interesting. I'm rambling aren't I, sorry kind of lose track of what I say after a minute especially regarding fallout.
Hey your friendly neighborhood comment guy here back again for more critiquing and advice if I have any. First off I like that you are throwing in a unicorn that appears to be part of the tribe, makes you wonder why he was working with them. The same problem as before is prevalent however You are getting better at finding these mistakes and fixing them from what I see so good job on that. Just some advice for you though to help with this is re-read the chapter before posting I do this to make sure I don't miss anything. You still will miss things but the bigger mistakes are easy to catch and correct. Sorry for rambling again, please forgive me for that, but as always keep going and giving it your best so have a mustache.
6186805 Ya, i need to be reading over stuff more huh? Well the unicorn shall be explained and more over this is not the end of the Wild Buffalo tribe, they shall be back!
. Regardless, feel free to ramble as much as you want, just wait for tomarrow
6186805 Oh PS, in the chapter i tried to clear up snowy's gender, i just noticed how i didn't explain it properly ever before. But for clarification it is female
6186826
thank you for not minding, it's something I've always had a problem with when I like talking about something. So I have to wait till tomorrow till I see more fallout story, ok I can deal with that. Anyway always nice chatting with ya
EDIT: yeah I was really confused on her gender. I guess you figured that out when I called her a he In a previous comment. I'm not sure whether or not to say sorry or not. Just in case however sorry
6186852 Ya, its fine the gender thing was mostly my fault. But ya! Talk to you next time i update!
Well that was abrupt. So that unicorn guy was a shaman who liked hurting things more than his tribe did as well as being naturally evil, I don't know what to say about that but at least he has a story that makes sense. Oh and 5 bucks says he makes a reappearance because he hacked life for infinite lives. Ok Its that time again my friend, that's right the critique. First off the story for the unicorn bad guy here was again rather short and gave a bare minimum for his character (If this is the last time we see him it doesn't matter, if he reappears give him more). You have really improved with the spelling errors from what I see only problems here are you aren't capitalizing solo 'I's and a few words are missing or taking the place of another. That's all I got this time and I still am enjoying the story and it's kind of sad to see the buffalo already go they sounded like they'd have been interesting foes later on. As always keep on writing and improving and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
6191102 Well, thats pretty good to hear. I wont give any spoilers or hints on what the situation with the Wild Buffalo or the unicorn until its time but i am glad you are enjoying it!
6191144 It's a good story and I enjoy good stories. Also glad to hear that your glad to hear that you are improving cause its's always nice to hear... did that make any sense? i think so but whatever as always can't wait for the next chapter!
Wait a minute, doge are you writing this? This was a rather interesting chapter which lives up to it's own name I only have a few problems with it but not much. The only problem I see here is how it was they kind of just found the notebook , but you bring how snowy should act if finding out she wasn't who she thought she was exceptionally well so that definitely gets you points in my book. That's it for now and before I leave I have one more thing to say, I didn't see any words in the wrong place and almost no spelling mistakes so you did good, and as I always say it seems I can't wait to read the next chapter.
6198452 Well it wasn't really explained well but basicly it was meant to be like Luna found the notebook on the unicorns body, or well the unicorn's bloody mass
6198751 Oh. That explains it rather well actually so uh scratch what I said then. Still thought you have gotten a lot better in just a few chapters so you are doing great and can't wait to see how snowy deals with this information. Anyway can't wait to see the chapter and as always keep up the good work.
Great to see you writing the next chapter here and we get a new character who's not trying to kill snowy amazing. Now we have a griffin cub a drake and a crysipod/ griffin I say this adventure is going to be a good one. Critique time my friend, I have no critique this time actually because there isn't anything I see that needs improvement or at least nothing I can see but I don't have a keen eye for that stuff. Anyway keep on going and I can't wait to see what your other story will be.
6216471 Thanks! I am glad you are enjoying this little story of miss fits and i hope you will like the new one when i make it, that is if you read it ^-^
6216478 Didn't I say before I expect great stories out of you of course I'll read it!
6216493 Fantastic! Though no promises that it will be super duper amazing
6216550 no problem, just give it your best that's all that anyone can ask.
What can I say I like reading thing with no hope for the future. I have no idea why but I can't wait to see what you cook up. (insert witty comment here)
6220987 Well i must say, the future story i have planned will be basically just that. No hope
Well this explains a little of snowy's personality and by that why she is relatively aggressive but not overly so due to being a mercenary leader( leaders have to make the deals more often than not). Also her own company trying to kill her when shes alone I believe there is a reason for that, Civil war in the crystal company? Finally Snowy now shows she sees Luna as her daughter whether she admits this or not doesn't matter it's there and I'm going to assume Luna will have something to say about it. As always good chapter and I can't wait to read the next one as well as your next story.
ps. Meyra and snowy I already ship it... Don't judge me.
6229628 Well this chapter was pretty much for all the reasons you mentioned, showing a bit more of Snowy's personality, a bit from of past, and a bit more on how she sees things. And Luna will defiantly have some stuff to say.
What happens next with the Crystal Company... I wont spoil anything but i have big plans for them.
And no judgement about the ship. After all what if it was the one i plan?
A short chapter, but good reasoning on why it's a short chapter. Wow twelve chapters already I'd say that this story is going rather well and as I keep saying I still enjoy it. I don't want to be rude here that's not my intention, but the family thing I feel was a bit rushed. It's not something bad and could simply be explained as Snowy being a little more emotional than she lets on and Luna being a cub that has been with snowy all this time might start to develop a sort of daughter like attachment to snowy. This is all I have to say but over all this story is actually pretty interesting.
6235046 Thanks! Though it was kinda rushed mainly because i suck at stuff like that, but the stuff that you said like 'More emotional then she lets on' is a really good idea
Screw you writers block! You are making this story short when I want it long! Anyway good to see you've gone back to writing another chapter, and damn you misunderstandings you make me sad.
How is this going to go down? will Meyra realize that Snowy isn't evil? Why am I asking these questions? I don't know, Dramatic effect? Anyway as I said good to see another chapter.
6311185 Ya writers block sucks, and all the questions will be answered on the next episode of DRAGON BAL-- Wait what?...
Anyway hopefully the writers block is gone for a long time but i guess we will see!
6312708 Well creativity isn't something that comes easily. Anyway hopefully the writers block will not come back anytime soon.
LOL MY MPD CAUSES ME TO WAKE UP WITH BITS AND PEICES :D
I can make you cover art.
I can't draw ponies for shite though, so my services usually include a kind of symbolic feel to it that has to deal with the plot.
For this story, I'm thinking broken glass drenched in a pool of blood in a carpet, no?
Okay, maybe not...
Just PM me what you want for cover art.
My services cost 3 Thank yous and that you follow me...