“Being blind, you lose a sense of yourself, of who you are… you… become uncertain of what lies ahead, and what is around you… what was reality now seems to be surreal; nothing more than a cacophony of noises, nuances and voices: sounds become sharper; voices become clearer and yet indistinct; instruments of sounds become sights that are purely imaginable; hearing becomes hypersensitive. A blessing or a curse: perched precariously between insanity and enlightenment, the dichotomy becomes a blurred boundary unable to be seen.”
About the upcoming story:
Inspired by my own darkest (damn puns) fears, onset by seeing the synopsis of the FiMFiction story "Close the Blinds", particularly of going blind, and/or losing any one of my five senses, I imagine myself in losing these senses to have a better appreciation and insight these fictional ponies that I am reading about who may lose their wings or their horns, or, one pony in particular from Close the Blinds, Rainbow Dash, their eyesight...
Hey man its me. I think you know who. Can't say I love that pairing or will ever love it but there are definitely a lot worse pairings out there (AJ and RD) anyways I've noticed a lot of blind people stories popping up (obviously because of the Daredevil show that just came out) and not just on mlp. Every fanfic has them popping up, but of course for you I'd read anything and of course being about blindness it's going to be sad. They always are. Obviously Rainbow Dash would never cry about anything but in every movie, show, or story I've read the person obviously cries when it happens and even with somepony as tough as RD she would too. Well this was just the intro so I'm going to have to read on!
Oh gosh, not gonna comment on RD and Twilight's affection. Love the adult nature you are putting into this story. That's how I like them. Anyways! Loved that Doctor Horse name! I really hope that it was a reference to Doctor House! Loved the Snow Drop reference by the way, I cried so hard at the end of it! I'm sure Twilight would try to go back in time to stop RD from losing her eye sight in the show but since this is your story it would probably defeat the purpose. Not too sure about RD (cause we don't usually see her emotional side) but I think yuri capturing Twilight pretty well.
This story is great so far, keep up the awesome work!
It's super rare that someone does a 1st person story well, but it really works here
6165551 Thank you for your comment! Thank you for bringing to me awareness of quite possibly where are blind stories seeming to appear.... OUT OF NOWHERE xD! Candidly, I had no knowledge of this show Daredevil, existed! So I'm quite surprised xD. Thank you for the reassurance that RD would, at least in this situation, would cry... Already, in chapters further, I am trying to let people know that I haven't forgotten RD tends to try to act tough, and strong, especially for everypony... she has more than herself to stay loyal to... For me, though, just as everypony, everypony is, well, a pony (human, humanely speaking!). We all are vulnerable, prone to pain, and anger, and anguish, etc., and that is my reasoning for why RD is reacting as such, but... (SPOILER ALERT) she of course begins to get over it, and will try her best to fight down any resurfacing, unwarranted feelings.
6165609 Thank you for commenting on my story! Really, thank you for the compliment, but what I am more thankful for is that you commented on my usage of first-person in this story, as you have just now allowed me to reply to you and give you the details of my thought process of why I decided to use first-person perspective without creating a hassle for people to see my reasoning.
I am pleased, and I hope that you will be pleased as well, to know that I thoroughly thought out the implications, complications, ramifications, etc. whatever other –cations there are (!) between first person POV and third person POV.
The first thing I had thought of was: well, if I consider that if I were to read a story about RD blind (namely, Shut the Blinds), and it was in third-person omniscient (or not, depending), sure, I would be able to convey enough sympathy to be felt by people reading the story, but that sympathy only goes insofar as third-person perspective goes, which is generally observant, not introspective.
With that considered first-person POV takes into account the character’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, everything about her that seems to come into being. Personally, I feel I have already been lacking on conveying every conceivable conscientious culmination of her character (how do you like that alliteration!? (; ).
Of course, writing this story in first person has major limitations, especially with RD being blind… when writing this, I came to realized just how imperative, innate, and indicative having your sense of sight is to anything, anything at all… whether it be survival, or story-telling! I found myself being very restricted in what I could and couldn’t do, what, with writing in first-person. That is a major drawback. However, as I stated earlier, I decided to do this to convey more emotion and depth to her character than could be otherwise possible. Not only does writing in first-person convey more emotion, but it also subtlety, as an underlying characteristic of the story itself, brings in the person reading to understand: ‘Wow, okay, so she can’t see… which means she needs to rely on her senses of touch, taste, smell, and hearing.’ This also incites a very provocative challenge… this is difficult! I will not understate the harshness and difficulty of writing this in first-person, knowing I cannot dare to even imply that she can actually see anything as she is blind.
With that considered third-person POV would have made the writing of this considerably and immeasurably easier. I didn’t want that. I really didn’t. A third-person POV would be easier simply because I would be able to describe a situation or event as an observer, especially with visuals, and could describe things much easier than Rainbow can in her state of being. Honestly, third-person, in the case of this story, isn’t even needed as these ponies’ feelings are readily apparently, when they come to Rainbow. In instance of feelings being clear, if there are any feelings that are not clear, Rainbow will of course contemplate the potential feelings of this other pony, and, considering her blindness, seems to be increasingly accurate as her hearing becomes more attuned to each pony. Think about it… people don’t listen well, do they? Oftentimes people fail to listen. Sure, a person can hear someone all they want to, but what if someone really heard someone? That’s what Rainbow Dash is, although it is undoubtedly helpful, forced to do. She is forced to listen.
Finally, as I said, it is very difficult to write in first-person as though I am blind… descriptions are hard to detail, as RD only has her other senses to rely on to sense what object is what, or which pony is who. It is to this that I am frustrated, and that I struggle, because I want to describe objects in as much detail as her senses will allow, as it will emphasis the hypersensitivity of her other senses in order to compensate for the loss of sight, because such detail can be breathtakingly beautiful and marvelous… need I say more expect to read the FimFiction story “Tea” and you will see the grand and grandiose beauty words can portray… However, I feel that perhaps I should do the minimal amount of detail I can, so as to keep the story-telling itself simple, to allow more focus on emotions, characterization, and such. Simply read the FiMFiction story “Dreams of Loss” to see how simplicity can be as magnificent and as perfectionist as a story such as the FiMfiction story “A Lot Like You”.
Those are my thoughts/writing process on the story, about perspective… again, thank you so very much for allowing me the opportunity to share my thoughts. I hope everypony who is interested in the development of story reads this, as I want you to be insouciant that I have thought this story out to the very depths of darkness!
Love,
RepentInReprise.
6165608 I know this may be rhetorical, but... you meant "you're" right? No, I'm not correcting your grammer (hur hur) xD... I'm asking because, uh... as you know, Yuri... xD is an actual word/thing! So... do I capture "Yuri Twilight" pretty well as well? (; xD
6165608 Oh, and I do apologize, no... that is, unfortunately for you (and anyone else who watches the Dr. House show), not a reference :( honestly, I looked up the name of the Dr. who treated Rainbow for her broken wing in "Read It and Weep!" as I wanted to use him as the character, and his name came up as "Dr. Horse" xD... so I was like, "Okay, then! Sure! Why not?" I had thought about using Dr. Weathervane (From FuzzyVeeVee's story Murky Number Seven [Fuzzy, if you're reading this... HAI! I LUV U! <3333 I considered using your character! xD], but then I thought of the paradoxes/nonsensicality that would occur, given that, indeed, the Fallout: Equestria universe is an alternate universe; or, one could say it's the same universe, with everything going terribly wrong xD. In either case, I actually have not completely read his story (I'm SORRY FUZZY! >.<), I'm on chapter 13, so I might be missing any vital information that could be used towards Weathervane's character, and, whether Weathervane's character would even make sense during this time period!
Ugh,not to sounds stupid here but...
Rainbow Dash is speaking too... formal, to smart. When I read what she is saying I do not picture Dash, because Dash would never speak like that.
6166563 I found it to be like Twilight is rubbing off onto Rainbow.
6166563 Right, right! As I was writing this, I had anticipated that people might be reacting to that very reason that I may have overlooked... until now, that is. RD speaking too formally, or too intellectually, may indeed my own fault, for conveying ideas and thoughts in such a sophisticated manner is my own aspiration, for my own strive; it's something that I personally find very beautiful and pleasing, but of course may seem out-of-character for a particular person/pony, namely RD. So, I tried to make sense of it by essentially saying that, since RD has spent countless days (years, actually... considering the 'timeline' [whatever the hell that is... xD] in the show) with Twilight, it just seems to me that (at least in a considerably involved relationship with Twilight, such as romantically or affectionately in love) at least some of Twilight's mannerisms/knowledge would rub off on Rainbow!
For me, another variable may be that I am trying to narrate, instead of giving RD her own voice, which is what I should be doing, given that this is her] story, not mine... hmm... I feel that perhaps I may be struggling here noticeably. Any thoughts/ideas/comments/suggestions on this? As you know, I already have a personal investment in the story, but that shouldn't prevent me from providing an empathic experience (that is, providing RD's experience of her situation) to those who will be reading the story.
To finalize, I will say this: there is one person in my life, whom I've known since 9th grade (We've since graduated High School last year; I am 18, he is 19). We've spent so much time together (5 years now), that I noticed characteristics of his personality have rubbed off onto me. Before Ryan, whom I consider my 'brother' (not by blood!), I didn't find myself to be as sarcastic, laid-back, or as affable as I am today! I consider much thanks for Ryan for changing my way of being; I enjoy myself even more! So, from my own experience, and from hearing of others' experiences, it seems to me that, if you spend enough time with a person (or pony, who knows! xD) in your lifetime, who seems very important to you, their way of being will probably be incorporated into your own organism/way of being. I hope that makes sense... and I hope I don't sound like I'm talking BS either...xD This HAS actually happened to me, and, if it helps you (from an educational standpoint) I've been studying Psychology since I was 13 (college level textbooks), namely humanistic / person-centered philosophy, so I 'should' (key word should, of course...) know what I am talking about (or so I hope xD).
Aughhh! Another dislike! Just... ugh! What is that I'm doing that isn't pleasing? What? How? Why!? Don't just dislike without giving your reason... it doesn't help... just leaves me feeling flustered and without guidance as to what I should do to improve my story for you, and for everyone else considered. I mean, I would like to go based off of views alone (for 'popularity' does help with getting a story being seen, obviously... but likes and dislikes also are an indicator of whether it's going well or not... and so far, from what I've seeing... eh.... I've seen stories with NO dislikes! I mean c'mon!) >.<
6166743 I was the like that morphed into the dis variety. My reasons has already been stated clear, whilst I respect your views I personally dislike this story.
Wow I really liked that part in the beginning where you talk about the sun. Almost exactly like in Daredevil where somebody asks him what everything looks like to him and he says he sees the whole world on fire. Um also I think Twilight is a lot different now. I mean sure the moment was traumatizing and all but I kind of don't see Twilight licking some ponies ear or doing stuff like that, but apart from all that I really like the story and the messages you've put in.
6165551 I feel ya.