Rainbow Dash and Applejack have been dating for well over four months. In all that time, the pegasus has been content with whatever Applejack wants to do to her in bed. However, she soon discovers that something is missing. She needs to tell Applejack, but... she's worried. What if her marefriend will see her in a different light?
Contains: Sleepy Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Internal monologues of an insecure pegasus, consensual snuggles, yawns, and other cute things that people with heart problems should avoid reading at all costs.
~~ Hey, check out my totally awesome friend Naviskypegasus who made a reading of my story! Oh, and here's the link to the reading on YouTube!
Chapters (1)
This is cute!!!! I like it!!
Really cute story and I think there should be more like this out there, cute for the sake of it.6575138 If what you said was true then I have a heart of solid steel.
6575220 wow you replied fast xD. But yeah you have nothing to worry about.
I cannot come up with a proper way to review this in text, so I have to use emoticons:
6575518 6575214 6575156 6575138 I'm glad y'all liked it! It's been too long since I've done a non-mature story. Happy to see I haven't lost my touch.
Our HNNNGs can't repel cuteness of that magnitude!
Words can not describe what I am feeling right now. This is one of the cutest stories that I have read and i enjoyed ever second of it, in return for this story I feel that I owe you an upvote and a favorite on this story.
Along with this...
This needs a T rating. This is not appropriate for the under-13 crowd.
6576682 Sorry. Thanks for letting me know, I'll fix it right away.
You made me have feels with all the cuteness and cuddles and such. And then I lol'd so hard at that author note that the feels went away.
Madam Pomfrey approves.
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This is very cute, and I like the soft intimacy shown here. It's great to see these little scenes.
There is one part that really makes me cringe though.
This is using the authors voice to talk to the character directly. Sane people cannot take an active role in two sides of a conversation like this. A good rule of thumb is that if if sounds like two people are talking, then you need two people to do the talking.
Aside from having RD confide in someone, there are a couple of other ways to do this scene. You can have the "pep talk", with RD pushing the "girl in the mirror" to take this step. This would sound something like:
Or you can go with the insecure introspection, where she's all on the receiving end of her own emotions:
6579304 Well, I did not know that. It sounded right to me when writing it... Oh, well. Thanks for the advice, though. I'm always looking for ways to improve, and I'll try to keep what you said in mind when working on my next story!
Yes. If you have a fragile heart avoid this sweet fic at all costs!
6581592 Thanks! I'll give you a shoutout on the story page, all right?
I found two typos:
From the long description:
6654149 Fixed, thanks!
d'awww, that's such a lovely and cute story... It's the little things that make relationships work, the shows of affection and thoughtfulness.
Makes me miss snuggles...
This is adorable. Me likes this fic.
Love it.
11278796
Aw, thank you so much!
10335880
I'm sorry I never got around to replying to you. Thank you so much for the praise!
7030391
We all need snuggles in our lives, especially from an adorable pony.