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In the aftermath of the ruined wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, Celestia and several others maintain a vigil at Canterlot General Hospital. AU.
A/N: I'm sure that someone has done something like this before, but I needed to get the scene out of my head. Please give feedback and let me know if I messed anything up!
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SO SAD.
Fantastic little one-shot though. The essence of guilt was clearly prominent. I liked that, how Celestia was dealing with it.
This is the saddest one-shot I have read in awhile. I would like to see this continued, as I doubt Celestia would be able to move on from this any time soon. Also, you might want to add the Alternate Reality tag for clarification.
Sad, short, yet effective. I'd have liked to see a little more fleshing-out, but I'll forgive it since it is a one-shot.
Wait, I'm confused... Did... Whaaaat? What happened? Why is Twilight in the hospital? Is this some sort of alternate reality where the spell to get rid of the changelings failed, or did it succeed, and Cadance die? I am so confuzzled.
Bravo, monsieur! Such spirited words!
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/142/8/4/bravo_by_ptrikle-d50s3sp.jpg
A very nice piece, though I must admit it left me wanting some expansion.
What the hay?
Um... this would be a great piece, if I knew what the hell happened. You said it takes place after the finale but... nothing happened in the finale that would warrent Cadence being dead and Twilight in the hospital....
It's well written, but you need to give the reader exposition in order to understand what's going on, otherwise any poignancy that you have is lost.
I think you should put an AU tag since this is an alternate take on the ending.
629605
And I think what happened was that the changeling attack was a lot more successful in terms of casualties. The ponies still won but only because of some quick thinking on Luna's part, Chrysalis probably took one step further in making sure her disguise worked by killing Cadance, and Twilight ended up in a near catatonic state from the events. More or less.
629605
Sure there is. I'd put good money on Chrysalis holding less of a villain ball this time around and attacking Twilight and Cadence when they try to fire up the love cannon instead of standing and gloating.
>Hospital
>Cadance dead
What the heck.
That said,Iliked it.I take it as some sort of “Bad Ending“,right?
Great Idea, I loved it.
But... it leaves more to be desired. IF you were to extend this and possibly make this a full story,
It would definitely go in my track list.
Also, I cant be the only one who thought Twilight let the others off easy, am I?
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I mean look at that! All she got was a small "Sorry, Twi" From Applejack and that's it.
She was absolutely mortified and thought she lost her older brother for Celestia's sake!
Her brother Verbally backhanded her in front of the princess and her friends and banned her from the wedding.
Then she gets locked in a huge cavern.
Twilight was a bit overboard on the accusations, but I dont think that gives them any excuse.
Not even a fucking apology...
From the context, it seems clear to me that this is an alternate version of the events of the finale, where Twilight and Cadance didn't make it out of the mines to stop the wedding. Luna somehow saved the day instead after a worse conflict, and by the time they discovered what Chrysalis had done with Twilight and the real bride, Cadance had passed away.
I enjoyed it as a worst-case-scenario, focusing on the remorse Celestia felt for turning her back on her faithful student.
Is it really stupid that I don't get it? I mean, why were they in the hospital? Why didn't Cadence make it?
That being said, wonderful fic.
629720 The best part?
What's Twilight's special talent? Magic.
What has she been studying for the majority of her life? Magic.
What does she try first to solve all of her problems with? Magic.
So why the hay did nopony think she could tell the difference between a healing spell and a mind control spell? I know Twilight's been just crazy about things like this before, but come on.
Definitely well written and its good to explore Celestia's potential guilt on the matter.
However, I'm not sure leaving reader's in the dark has more emotional impact than giving them a full, or at least a partial, idea of what happened to cause this. I suppose it opens it up for future works, but if its just a one shot, it's an odd choice.
629278>>629315>>629358>>629364>>629388>>629393>>629541>>629605>>629624>>629624>>629634>>629636>>629653>>629694>>629720>>629728>>629743>>629824>>629860
Wow, thank you all for the comments! As several people have suggested, I added the Alternate Universe tag. I missed that earlier.
As for those confused with the story, 629728 had it exactly right. To quote him: "this is an alternate version of the events of the finale, where Twilight and Cadance didn't make it out of the mines to stop the wedding. Luna somehow saved the day instead after a worse conflict, and by the time they discovered what Chrysalis had done with Twilight and the real bride, Cadance, had passed away." I was trying to keep the story as concise as possible, but I do want it to be clearer. I just couldn't quite figure out how to do it without a wall of text or a flashback, both of which I wanted to avoid.
I don't intend to continue this right now, as I'm currently working on a larger wedding-related story. Hopefully I'll start posting chapters of that in a week or two.
Could use a bit more development:
How were the changelings defeated?
How Cadance died?
Why Twilight is in the hospital?
It did anger me in the show that Celestia didn't apologize to Twilight for reaping her heart out. Sure she did acted a bit crazy but for being her faithful student, she is not much of a faithful teacher... Then again it was always my impression Twilight is nothing but Celestia's weapon.
One does not simply make me cry with a one-shot
but you have my good sir
Very interesting. It took me a couple moments to get it.
629893
Thank you for the comment! In answer to your questions:
How were the changelings defeated? To be honest, details are fuzzy even in my head. Basically, without the aid of Cadance and Shining Armor's patented Love Shield Attack, the changelings had to be fought one by one. Luna was instrumental in not only exposing them, but also in the battle; however, the deciding blow in the conflict was struck by Celestia, who killed the changeling queen after an extended fight when Chrysalis taunted her about Twilight and Cadance wondering when Celestia was going to save them, assuming they were still alive. It took an additional two days to find the missing ponies, and by then...
How Cadance died? She died of exposure and dehydration after being trapped in the caves beneath Canterlot for many days.
Why Twilight is in the hospital? Ditto the above answer, except for the dying part.
629895
This is quite possibly the highest compliment I have ever been paid. Thank you, sir.
629945>>630939
Thank you!
It kinda feels like a sequel that never had a first installment. If you had all that backstory to this, why not tell us about it before the comments?
634839
Well, mostly because this was the scene that was inextricably stuck in my head. But also, this story is about that feeling you get when you say something that you end up regretting for a long time. That one line from the wedding episode really bugged me, and I thought, 'what if things happened differently?' In the canon continuity, everything ends up hunky-dory and it's a moment that can be dismissed (even if it shouldn't be). Here, things do not go so well. Is it Celestia's fault? Of course not, Queen Chrysalis is the guilty party. That doesn't make Celestia feel any better.
Besides, I have something else in the works for a wedding fic.
629720 I know what you mean, it's a shame that was never expanded on. I love Twilight, I truly do, but even I feel she handled the accusations badly. However, that's just it, she made a mistake, and her guilt and remorse are obvious. The others don't try to talk her through her mistake or express they thought she was better then that, they just turned their backs on her. I understand Shining's anger, but what if Twilight had been wrong about Cadence? It chills me to think how long it might have taken to repair the bond between Twi and her brother, and it might have taken Twi even longer to heal emotionally once everypony finally forgives her
Though in my mind, that just shows what a sweetheart Twilight is, she knows they're sorry, and just wants everything back to normal. She just needs to know that Shining, Celestia, Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, and Rainbow still love her, and that they never stopped.
I don't know if you've read "Post Nupitials", another fanfiction on this very site, but it portrays everyone's guilt over their treatment of Twilight, even Celestia (Although not Spike yet)
629893 Understandable you'd feel that way, and I see your point, though I disagree. in the fanfic "Post Nuptials" Celestia herself points that out. Still, in the actual show she's always been very warm towards Twilight (See the motherly hug in the Pilot? How sad she is when she realizes Twilight doesn't want to return to Canterlot, how she always seems to visit Ponyville just to see Twilight) So while I understand what you're saying, I think Celestia truly cares about Twilight ^_^
706443
That... made me feel a lot better actually.
This story you told me about has made me feel so much better about this whole thing.
I feel like Twilight finally got what she deserved and all of the possible problems
have been cleared.
That got a weight offa my chest.
Thank you.
706593 Aw, that's great to hear, so glad I could be of help
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT AT THE END?!?! I thought it had a happy ending till you put that!!!!
868596
I used the sad tag, though... 
I'm sorry!
Brilliant A.U.
1526999
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
Personally, I don't see . why everypony's so confused. All it took was some pretty simple reading between the lines to figure it out. Though I admit that the AU tag may have made it easier to guess Any who, I still liked it plenty. I especially like how guilty Celestia is. She damn well deserves to be. Her behavour in that episode bothered me, but the fact that she never even awknowledged as much after the fact with so much as as apology really irked me.
~Dash
1539541 Her behavour in that episode bothered me, but the fact that she never even awknowledged as much after the fact with so much as as apology really irked me.
She was subtle about it, but in my eyes she did. "This is your victory as well as theirs, you persisted in the face of doubt. Learning to trust your instincts is a valuable lesson"
In other words: "You have nothing to be ashamed of, because you were right all along." in stark contrast to her harsh dismissal earlier. Which sits better with me than Applejack's "apology" if you could call it that, and the others never apologizng at all
Shining Armor I let off the hook, because anyone can react badly in a moment of anger, and reassigning Twilight as Best Mare shows she is once again his deepest and most trusted friend.
1589698
I suppose you do have a point there. Oh, and when I say she irked me, that's certainly not to say the others didn't. Really, I think everybody owed her some form of apology. And yes, Celestia's was the most sincere out of what she got. But still... even then, it seems like Celestia is getting away with speaking so harshly to Twilight, in front of everyone else no less (she was pretty publicly humiliated by everyone involved in that situation. And while the situation may have given them all good reason to be very upset with her, after the fact, they should have taken more responsibility for all things said and done. Everyone who wrote her off and spoke down to her), and then in the end, still being able to say "and this is the lesson you learned."
...Yes, Twilight did learn a lesson in the episode, true. But I think everyone besides her should have learned the real moral here. It's Celestia and Twilight's friends who should have, more then Twilight, learned the lesson. Rather than Twilight learning to "persist in the face of doubt", I think Celestia and the others could have learned a lesson about at the very least, listening to what their friends have to say before writing them off completely and ostracizing them.
But that's only my opinion. I don't want to come across as rude or overbearing, or trying to push a point.
-Dash
This song should be played for Twilight, at 1:55
(redirected here by Bad Horse) I like, but I'll agree with the "it needs more flesh on its bones" critics. (and I'm *bad* about doing that, I have a lot of stories that look a little like hollywood models)
1868558
I guess I could pretend that it's deliberately minimalistic, but I'm not that clever. The truth is that I have no idea what I could add to it that wouldn't distract from what the story is about. I mean, I could take a while to describe the room in more detail, or have Luna and Celestia talk more, but to what end? Any particular spots you felt were particularly thin?
Review, as requested:
The first few paragraphs are a good but risky hook. They're short, which is good, but could be a little shorter:
Turning it over and over again was a little bit like picking at a healing wound; it did no good, and yet it was almost impossible to resist. With every repetition, she felt another little surge of shame and nausea, but she couldn’t stop herself from dwelling on that moment. =>
Turning it over and over again was a little bit like picking at a healing wound. With every repetition, she felt another little surge of shame and nausea.
No need to say the deleted lines; they are implied by the more-powerful "picking at a healing wound" and "With every repetition, she felt another little surge".
I understand why you're repeating "You have a lot to think about", but repeating it so often is making it lose its impact.
I think that what the story is about, is that you're saying, "Celestia got off too easily just because things worked out well. What if they hadn't? What would she feel then? Should she feel any less guilty in the canon universe just because they got lucky?"
It's very well-done, but something about that theme makes me uneasy. It's not really a theme. It feels like the point is to criticize Celestia (and the writers). A story typically looks at a character flaw, but has some point to make about that flaw, such as "This is what caused that flaw", or, "This is how she overcame that flaw", or, "This is what she was thinking while she did that, and why she didn't realize how wrong she was at the time." Just pointing out the flaw, without providing some insight into it, is like a sentence without a verb phrase. It might be a very nice noun phrase, but it's still just a noun phrase. So your story is only "a complete story" when it's thought of as a fandom argument, not when it's taken on its own.
On the other hand, that's still a lot for 1000 words. Why should it have to be "a complete story"? That's an artificial, theoretical category. It's worth the time it took to read.
Merry Christmas!
Anyway, I wished you continue about how Twilight reacts.
How resentful would she be?
2459801
You know, I thought about it, but I think she'd have too much survivor's guilt to be really resentful. At the moment I have no plans to continue this story, though. Maybe if inspiration strikes.
Uh dude, maybe you should consider adding the tragic tag to this story, the only reason I'm not welling up with tears is because I'm both a cold hearted bastard and it was too short to really draw me in.
It's good work though, and it does present some interesting ideas for some stories. Though none of them are one's I want to do.
I don't get why people had trouble with this.
It was obvious what it was. It was a very well written little story.
1692470
That song is fantastic.
This story is really great. Sad, vague, great.
at first I was sad but I realized its just an AU its all of a matter of perspective
Candace may be dead in this Fic but she still alive in the episode
Spoiler warning if you have not played Bioshock infinite
I love happy endings
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