Chapter Seven - Reaction
"I think we're clear, Marshall." Twilight said finally.
Marshall was silent as he scrutinized the jungle. There was an awful lot of it to scrutinize. It had been an hour since either of them had spotted the thing out in the jungle. Things were quiet, for the moment. At the risk of sounding cliche, perhaps a little too quiet.
"Marshall."
He took a deep breath, let it out, then frowned. "We can't afford to be premature. Neither of us is in the shape for another sprint like that." He spit and shook his head.
"Damn... if I only had my binoculars." He muttered.
Twilight's ears drooped, which aggravated her wounded ear, but she merely grimaced at the sting.
Marshall noticed her gloomy look and patted her back reassuringly. "Ah Sparks, I didn't mean nothin' by it. In emergencies you have to prioritize, it was a no brainer."
She grinned weakly. "So I rate higher than a pair of binoculars, huh?"
Marshall grinned. "Oh yeah, definitely. Now if I was carryin' a large pizza and some beer..."
She refused to be nettled by this, since this sort of thing was very Marshall. "Yeah, I get you. Hay fries. A half dozen of Pinkie's cupcakes."
"A white chocolate latte from Starbucks, ice cream."
She groaned. "Oh... ice creeeeaaaam."
Marshall sighed mournfully. "Ok, now that we have officially progressed into the food porn stage of subject digression, should we go for it?"
She looked dubious, but nodded reluctantly after a moments consideration. "I don't see much alternative. We have no food, limited water, and no shelter. Night's coming fast. If we don't move now, it's going to be pitch black before we even get half way."
He nodded grimly, and came to a standing position. Twilight groaned, but followed. It was going to be a long trip.
Slipping out proved to be easier said than done, however. The circle of adult rootscrapers had tightened into a paranoid, overprotective ring of flesh that even Twilight couldn't slip through. After several minutes, Marshall spotted an opening towards the woods in the right direction and made a break for it.
Only to be shoved back by a head the size of a genetically enhanced watermelon on a long thin cable of a neck. While compared to the body, the head was tiny, it was by no means insubstantial, and it was still on an effective whipcord of muscle. He was pathetically easy to bowl over back into the circle. The rootscraper cow made burbling warning noises at him.
Twilight smirked quietly at his offended expression and he scowled.
"Ok, this is fuckin' retarded. What's the deal?"
She looked at the circle thoughtfully and nodded to herself. "They're protecting us... they think we're kids, remember? They're still shook up about that thing's attack."
Marshall tried again, and was again rebuffed. A bit more forcefully this time. He fell backwards hard onto his ass and continued backwards, the force sufficient enough that he actually rolled a little ways.
Twilight chuckled a little. HE obviously didn't think the situation was very funny, but then, it wasn't happening to her. She knew well enough not to get into a disagreement with a ten ton animal.
He rubbed his aching buttocks. "Laugh it up, horseface... got any bright ideas on how to make 'em let us go? 'Cause I really don't want to be here when they decide it's feedin' time."
She gave him a squinty sort of look, then considered. She shook her head. "Nope. Also, I wouldn't worry so much about that Marshall, it's silly. What we have is a distress whistle, not a "feed me" whistle. That would sound more like, eeeooowwwwiiee-"
A sound like three horrifically clogged sinks backing up simultaneously sounded over head and Marshall had a split second to watch Twilight's pupils go to pinpricks before a literal torrent of puke green colored, half-digested palm heart chunks rained down in a deluge on the hapless unicorn's head. The downpour turned her mane into a slime slicked purple greenish mass that hung limply down her face, covering her eyes and neck, and dripped sluggishly from her back and sides. She blew a bit of the sodden hair out of her eyes and gave him a stunned, "what the fuck just happened" look.
For his part, Marshall reacted with his usual grace and poise. He was rocked on his heels in the throes of terminal hilarity, laughing so hard he actually involuntarily sat down hard on his rump next to her and pointed helplessly, great whooping gales of laughter startling out of him. Tears streamed from his eyes.
"Oh... oh MAN! That was classic! I WISH I could take the credit for that one, but that was ALL you, marefriend!"
She blinked, and then spoke in a small, shocked voice. "I don't know which is worse... that my mouth was open, or that it... actually doesn't taste all that BAD."
He giggled at this, then ran a finger through the mess on her mane and gave it a considering lick. She gave him a terminally disgusted look.
He frowned, then scratched his chin. "Hey, you're right... kinda tastes like poi."
She gave him a confused look, cocking her head slightly at this. As she did so, she failed to notice the gathering group of baby rootscrapers pushing in closer. She noticed in a hurry when one of them gave her a long slow lick up her right side.
"What is- hey what the, oh stop... that heeheheee tickles, Marshall, make them stop!"
Marshall just continued pointing and laughing at her misfortune as the rootscrapers gathered around her like a horde of ravenous zombies going in for the kill. She rolled around in giggling panic, under their merciless ministrations, kicking her legs uselessly in a convulsing paroxysm of involuntary mirth.
"Stop, HA! Stop HAHAHA! Stop it! STOP! I'll pee!"
It was a testiment to the pandemonium of the moment that it was unclear which of them actually said it.
It may have been both.
At some point during all of this, the adults tightened into defensive positions again.
They had noticed a pair of luminescent yellow eyes watching hungrily from the jungle's edge.
"Come on, Twilight. You have to admit, it was pretty fuckin' funny."
Twilight Sparkle gave him a flat look and shook her head slowly from side to side, staring at him the whole time.
"Marshall, I was just given a full body involuntary tongue bath by a horde of infant reptiles. That was just sick! No, it was wrong! No it was wrongsick! It needs a whole new WORD!"
"Oh, come on, Sparks, mare up. I know guys back home that would pay good money for something... well, similar to that."
"I mourn for your species' lost innocence, Marshall. That was ALL of the molest. ALL OF IT."
He giggled. Actually giggled at this. "HEEHEE... Ah, well... it was for the best, anyway... I mean, on the one hand, they got all that crap off of you, and on the other, that thing came back, we would have been screwed. So in a way, your humiliation served a valuable function. Way to take one for the team, Sparks!"
She raised her hoof towards him. He raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
She blew frustrated air through her nostrils. "I don't have fingers. This is a pony giving you the finger."
He chuckled. "It loses something in the translation, Sparkle."
"Yeah well, your face is lost in translation."
He shook his head.
"What?"
She sighed and looked out towards the jungle. "It sounded better in my head." She muttered petulantly.
Marshall followed her gaze, rolled his eyes, then sighed.
"Well, I'll give that fuckin' thing this, Sparkanator. It's damn persistant." Marshall said dryly, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
The two of them had recovered enough to sit up and were now watching the adult rootscrapers ward away the... whatever it was for the fourth time. It was smart enough not to wade into that much whoopass directly, but it was also just a tad too big and beefy for the rootscrapers to attempt to simply stamp and slash the life out of it. What occurred then was a slow meandering circle of threat displays and hissing around the outskirts of the clearing. The outlier rootscraper cows had been chasing it for the past several minutes. They'd get close, the two parties would bellow at one another for a few minutes, then someone would get a smack or thrust in and the thing would start backing off again.
Rinse, repeat.
"I'd be a little more admiring of its virtuous qualities if it wasn't employing them in support of the quest of eating me, Marshall."
Twilight had about had enough. Sure that thing was terrifying, one only had to look at it to see that it was an absolute apex predator. Terror is never permanent though, and after all they'd been through, it simply wasn't sustainable. The body can only maintain perfect alertness for so long. Eventually, it runs out of "omph", and when that happens, it happens fast.
"Oh come on, Sparks. Can you blame it? I mean look at this flank." Marshall patted the rump in question.
"Hey!" She sputtered, indignantly.
"This is grade A, choice magical pony flank steak. I mean, I know I said I wouldn't eat you or anything, but come on..."
"That's not funny, Marshall." She gritted her teeth.
His voice became singsong, like he was qouting a jingle or something. "I want my pony flank, pony flank, pony flan- HEY OW! You bit me!"
"Serves you right, "beefcake"." She said, a slight smirk drifting across her face.
Marshall chuckled at this and rubbed the bruise on his forearm. "Ok, Sparks, you win. Just trying to take your mind off it."
She frowned at this, realized that to a certain extent he'd succeeded, and dropped her ears in chagrin. This tugged on her bloody ear again and she hissed at the sudden, unexpected reminder of her injury.
"Ponyfeathers that smarts!"
Marshall caught this and winced in sympathy.
"Does it still hurt, Twi?"
She sighed. "Marshall, I don't know what's in those immobile seashells you have the audacity to call ears, but there are a lot of nerves in pony ears. So yes, it does hurt quite a bit, actually."
Marshall gave her a mournful look and sighed. "Shit Twi, I am so sorry about that. Damn... six inches to the side and..."
She put a hoof on his arm and gave him a soulful look. "Marshall, when that thing charged me you stood your ground and tried your best to give it something else to worry about. It was dumb. Absolutely moronic, actually, but it was a very brave, noble sort of stupid."
Marshall quirked her a smile. "Well, we can't all be geniuses... genii? What's the right plural word for-"
She snorted and shook her head. "Both, actually. There's some controversy over which is proper, but since the etomology of word means a guiding spirit-"
He clutched his chest. "Stop. Too much intelligence... incompatible with stupid human... you're killin' me."
It was goofy, but he was trying and she giggled, in spite of herself.
He smiled back and frowned, then his expression cleared and he twisted to snap something off of his belt. At the awkward motion he winced, and she realized that he'd actually taken quite a beating of his own. Her eyes flew wonderingly over the dented magazines on the right side of his harness. It looked as though someone had struck him across the chest with a I-beam.
Which she assumed wasn't too far off from what actually happened, if it happened to be an I-beam wielded by an adult dragon. How he didn't have broken ribs, she didn't know.
"I totally forgot, I have my emergency kit on my belt. Come here Sparks, let's clean that up before it gets infected."
She frowned, then shrugged it off and wiggled over to him, leaning the side of her head with the wounded ear toward him. He opened the kit and cleaned his hands with one of the sterile wipes before turning to her. He looked at her for a moment, obviously planning the best way to do this, then shook his head.
"Come on, Sparks. Put your head in my lap."
She gave him a dubious look.
"Hey, don't gimme that look, it's your flank I'm interested in, not your- Ow! What is with all the biting?!"
"I don't want to use any magic after draining myself that badly, and besides, there's no point in ringing a dinner bell for that thing. Think of it as negative reinforcement. Aside from my horn, my mouth is one of my primary manipulators, joke about it and I bite again. Hard."
He rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. All joking aside Twilight SNARKle, trust me, this will be a lot easier if you lay your uninjured ear down on my lap and let me do this. I have some experience with this sort of thing, ok?"
"How would YOU have experience with cleaning pony ears?"
He rolled his eyes. "I used to own a German Shepard, ok? A really big dog. Poor guy used to get ear infections all the time, so I used to clean his ears for him about once a week, and that kept the infections to a minimum. Damnedest thing, too. Only dog I've ever known who LIKED having his ears deep cleaned like that. Just lie there and groan while you did it. Heh... I loved that dog. Used to make my ex-girlfriend sick when I did it, but towards the end she annoyed the piss out of me so I used to do it when I wanted to make her leave the room. Usually right after she ate. Man, that takes me back. I called it "oo-mox" after Star Trek-"
"Marshall, as fascinating as that trip down memory lane is, I'm not sure whether I should be insulted that you're comparing me to a dog or impressed at your passive-aggressive attempts to antagonize a girl into leaving you rather than just being mature about it and parting ways amicably."
"Heh, she annoyed the crap out of me, but she fucked like a demon, so-"
"OK, too much information, monkey boy!"
With that she stood, manuevered herself to his other side, and dropped her head into his lap. She ended up with her good ear pressed against his thigh and her wounded ear facing upward. From this vantage point, staring out across his legs to the circle of rootscrapers she could see the rootscraper younglings scrambling over one another and playing.
"Let's get this over with, Marshall." She muttered, staring off into the distance.
"Twilight, if you're uncomfortable-"
"Marshall, I trust you, ok? I do. Just... be careful. Ears are very sensitive."
He let out a deep sigh, angled himself slightly and brushed her mane a bit, absently. He gently laid his hand on her neck and her ear flicked involuntarily. She winced.
"Easy, easy..." He muttered, and she heard the slosh of disinfectant. She shifted slightly.
"This is gonna sting, Twi."
She sighed. "I know, I'll try to keep still."
He gently began to clean the wound, carefully, slowly. Even still, she winced at times and hissed at others.
"How bad is it?" She asked through gritted teeth.
"Well, it could be worse, but..." He hesitated.
"What?" She asked, suddenly worried.
"You're... missing a chunk, Twi." When she stiffened at this, he was very quick to clarify.
"It's not a big piece, chunk is a bad word, maybe notch is a better word? I'm sorry, but this isn't going to heal completely clean, even with stitches. In fact, stitches probably wouldn't help in the least."
She sighed. So the island had succeeded in marking her permanently, just as it had marked Marshall. She hoped it didn't look too bad, but she didn't want Marshall to feel worse than he already did about it, so she decided to play it cool.
"I thought it felt weird, somehow. Still, it could be worse, I suppose."
"Like I said, Twi... you're lucky it wasn't about six inches over. I could have killed you, Twilight."
The way he said it, matter-of-factly, monotone, it didn't sound good. It worried her, actually. He was taking this much too hard.
"I already said I don't blame you, Marshall. It was an accident."
She could almost feel his frown, but instead of responding, he turned to the kit and removed a bandage. A quick, deft move with his fingers and the adhesive bandage was in place snugly wrapped around her wound. It actually helped with the pain quite a bit, now that every flick of her ear didn't rub the raw edges together. Before she could gather herself up Marshall gave her neck a light touch and she paused.
"Since you're already like this, you've got a bloody mess all up in the canal of your ear, Twi. Should probably get that cleaned out."
She sighed. "Ok, just be careful."
He went to work carefully, and it was the damnest thing. He obviously had done this before in a similar setup, with a similarly sized ear, and those fingers combined with the little cotton swab stick thingies...
Her eyes rolled involuntarily and she slumped bonelessly on his lap as he worked the dirt and dried blood out of the crevices of her ear. She groaned. She couldn't help it. The last time she'd had a deep ear cleaning like this was one trip with Rarity to a day spa, and that simply couldn't compare to this.
Not by a long shot.
He chuckled. "Damn, and I thought Max was a hedonist. You are enjoying oo-mox entirely too much, Sparks."
She muttered something incoherent into his leg and he chuckled again.
"What was that?" He asked.
"Less talking more cleaning, monkey." She said drowsily.
"Jawohl, mein-"
"Marshall, if you keep spouting Germane at me like that, I'm going to bite you again, and I should point out that all I have to do is turn my head-"
She felt him wince. "Ouch... ok ok, sorry."
After a while, he stopped cleaning but she didn't bother to lift her head. Instead he just started petting her mane and she let herself kind of drift. It was nice, especially after the stress and terror of earlier that day, followed by the admittedly hilarious, but not entirely restful assault by baby lizards. Perhaps they should have been more attentive to the situation, but it just felt so nice...
"We both almost died you know?" She said, half unaware that she was speaking.
He continued petting her quietly. "Hmm?"
"Out there, earlier, there were at least a dozen times where we were both almost killed. If you hadn't picked me up..."
She felt him take a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, well, if you hadn't kept that thing off of me while I was unconscious..."
She shook her head slightly. "I don't think so, Marshall. I think the only reason you were injured at all was because you were between me and it." She frowned.
"That thing definitely had a hard on for you," he mused.
She wrinkled her muzzle at that word choice and sighed. "I could feel it, Marshall. I've never felt something like that before."
He made an encouraging noise and she considered.
"It was like... like being next to a fire, only it's some bizarre kind of reverse fire, sucking heat in instead of putting it out." She shuddered. "Throwing magic at it... all of my strength. It just... walked through it like it didn't matter."
She frowned. "You know, I've encountered a lot of bad things in my life, fought some of them too. Nightmare Moon, she was bad, but it was more that she was... just so angry. At the core of that anger was hurt and loneliness. She had reasons for being what she was. Discord... he was... well, evil, but he seemed to have a sense of fair play, for lack of a better word. He didn't kill anypony, or anything like that. Maybe it was just that he didn't have time, but..."
Marshall let her follow her train of thought, just rubbing her neck calmly. She closed her eyes.
"Queen Chrysalis was the closest thing to real, palpable malice that I've ever encountered. Even that was a... kind of selfishness, really. She didn't care who she hurt to meet her goals. She was evil, but she was also looking out for her subjects. They feed on love, you see."
She paused for a moment, then spoke in a small voice. "That thing... there was no reasoning with it. I don't think it has enough of a capacity for reason... to reason with. It was just... just..." She found herself without words.
She was startled slightly when Marshall pitched his voice in a slightly absurd accent, and spoke instead.
"A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it."
He pitched his voice slightly differently, as though he were continuing dialogue.
"What does he need?"
Then back to the other voice.
"Revenge."
He was quiet then, and she frowned, sensing there was more. She rolled her face slightly to look up at him.
"Revenge for what, Marshall?"
He grinned and continued in that original accent.
"Bein' born."
She shivered. "Scary. That's a quote from something, isn't it?"
He sighed. "Yup. A movie called Tombstone. It seemed appropriate."
She nodded into his leg. "I think you're right, Marshall."
"I don't know about the more preternatural aspects of the thing, Twi. All I felt was pants-shitting terror from being chased by it. Still, I've seen you react to stuff I can't sense before, so..." He shook his head.
She sighed. "Take my word for it, Marshall... that was the closest thing I've ever felt to unadulterated evil, just... seething off of it... and the worst part is, I think it was made to be that way. How is that possible? Why would somepony do it?"
He sighed. "I'm of the opinion that something has to be sapient before it can be really evil, but that doesn't mean you can't turn an animal bad, Sparks. Abuse a dog enough, train it a certain way, and you turn it into a killing machine. It doesn't want to be bad, you understand, it just doesn't know... can't know... any other way."
She frowned. "Do you think it was put here intentionally? Like... something is actively trying to stop us? If it is, stop us from what?"
Marshall groaned and cracked his neck with a quick jerk of his head, making a noise that always bothered her, just a little. "It's a little too specialized not to make assumptions to that effect. I think you've got the wrong idea. They, whoever they are, ain't trying to stop ME. I mean, it hunts magic, Twi. How many magic using ponies have YOU seen on this island?"
She shivered again.
He considered his position for a moment, then frowned. "Still, I suppose there's really no telling for sure. That thing gave every impression of having been there awhile, and we... well, I chose which spot on the barrier to examine."
She nodded. "We can't afford to MAKE assumptions, Marshall. We have to approach this whole situation systematically, logically, and with as little bias as possible. It's our only hope."
They were silent for a while, then she rolled onto her back and look him in the face, the back of her head resting on his thigh. In this position, her hooves just sort of naturally folded against her barrel like a begging dog or praying mantis.
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Who saved who when is a completely academic question, Marshall. The fact of the matter is, you saved my life, and I'm grateful..."
He gave her a ghost of a smile. "You're welcome, Sparks. I sense a "but" in there, somewhere."
She gave him a meaningful look and didn't say anything, just stared at him with those liquid amethyst eyes. Eyes filled with compassion and understanding.
He stared down, his face twisting in indecision, then he looked away. his expression distant. She started to say something, but he beat her to it.
"Later is now, huh?" He sighed. He looked out at the clearing, and at the slowly untensing rootscraper herd. The thing was out of sight again, but it had relented temporarily before. They weren't going anywhere, anytime soon.
She flicked her uninjured ear at him in a, go on, sort of gesture.
He slipped loose from her and stepped away, his back to her. His posture became stiff, and he folded his arms behind his back.
"There's really not much to tell, Twilight... but if you want the story..."
She frowned and folded her legs under her in the standard pony position of recline, the intimacy of the moment completely gone. She bit her lip. "If you don't want to..."
He sighed. "It was a routine landing, then this fucking island happened. There was no warning, no sign that anything was wrong, just one second the FOB approach lights were there, the next, they weren't, and the GPS, uh, the global positioning satellite locator, lost signal. That was the only indication that I had at the time that something was wrong. We hit treetops that weren't supposed to be there and lost two engines before I really knew what the fuck was going on. I did everything I could to prevent the crash, and when I realized that there was no chance of that, I did everything I could to survive the crash with everyone intact."
He turned back, and his expression was... odd. It was obvious that these were painful memories for him, but there was something else. An evasiveness that she didn't like, because it was so uncharacteristic of him. "It wasn't enough. I survived. The rest of my crew didn't. They didn't all die at once, but they did die. The fucked up part, Twilight, is that if I HAD managed to pull out of that crash, we ALL would have died when I hit the barrier."
He looked out sullenly at the jungle canopy, and Twilight felt a moments regret for forcing this on him. Her curiousity was hardly sated, however. There was more to this story, at least for him, than he was telling her. She could feel it, like a scab that was half loose, but still slightly adhered to an old wound.
He sighed, and shook his head. "Sometimes the universe gives you a binary solution set. You always have a choice, but sometimes the choice is choosing between two equally unacceptable outcomes. I made mistakes Twilight; mistakes in judgement, mistakes in procedure, and while I probably couldn't have saved them, that doesn't make me any less responsible for their deaths."
She shook her head. "How are you culpable, Marshall? Didn't they have choices? Are you somehow saying that you caused your plane to be trapped on an alien island in a huge impenetrable bubble?"
He shook his head, irritated at her word choice. "I didn't say I was culpable. Culpability is the assumption of blame, that I was guilty somehow of wrongdoing, which I wasn't. I was responsible... I was their superior officer, and I was their pilot. Whether I could have saved them or not is irrelevant; by accepting that position, I MADE myself responsible for them. If there were choices to make, I was responsible for making them. That's the definition of leadership, Twi. Being the one who's responsible for making the decisions, and owning up TO that responsibility."
She frowned at his logic, but remained silent, considering. She KNEW there was more to this. Yes, he was very serious where safety was concerned, but he was also a realist. Some might even call him pessimistic. He was telling her, but by doing so he WASN'T telling her.
He turned away again, shifting from one foot the other, then stalked the edge of the circle of adult rootscrapers.
She sighed, her ears drooping in dismay, and lay with her chin to the ground, considering. She felt like she hadn't learned anything at all, and worse, now he was obviously upset. Calling attention to his emotional state would only upset him further.
It was a hard lesson, and not one she entirely agreed with, but she couldn't see a way free of it.
Sometimes, the only option is silence.
After an hour or so, of this uncharacteristic quietude, he looked at the sky and scowled. "It's gonna rain tonight."
She jerked awake at this statement and frowned. "What?"
He sighed. "It's gonna rain tonight, and we have to face facts, Twi. You're gonna have to stay with the herd tonight."
She nodded, then blinked and gave him a scowl. "What do you mean, you?"
He unclipped his canteen from his belt and tossed it next to her. "There's a few swallows left of that, and we have no food, no weapons, no shelter, we can't start a fire, and that thing is out there stalking you. Home is at least fifteen miles away, and at night, it might as well be a hundred."
She gave him a skeptical look. "This explains the "you" comment, how?"
He gave her a neutral expression. "Come on, Twilight. You said it yourself, it's after you. It doesn't care about me. I'm about as magical as a rock. Maybe it can see better at night and maybe it can't, the point is, by myself, I can get to our packs and get back here. Then we're set. We hole up here with the herd 'til it gives up, then we break for home. With our supplies we have options."
Her ears flattened against her head. "I do not like this plan, Marshall. This is a bad plan. If you're wrong, your knife isn't going to stop that thing. So what if it isn't after you? What about everything else? What if there's another of those... cat... squid... things out there?"
He shook his head irritably. "Twilight, give me some credit. I survived just fine on this island for five years without you, I can-"
She stood up, bristling at this comment. "Marshall, this isn't an attack on your competency! Yes, you're the big bad human! We don't NEED those things immediately! What you're talking about is an unnecessary RISK."
He narrowed his eyes. "I am not leaving valuable supplies just sitting out there-"
She jerked her head back. "Are you listening to yourself?! Who's going to grab them? Most of it isn't even edible! Whether you go now or a week from now, the outcome is the same! Marshall, I understand you're upset, I'm sorry I made you talk about that stuff, but don't-"
"Twilight, I am not debating this with you, I'm telling you what I'm going to do. The longer we wait, the longer it's going to take to find that stuff. Right now, all I have to do is follow the damn broken back trail of that thing back to where I tossed those packs. It's a risk, but it's one that I can manage."
She shook her head. "What IS it that's got you so-"
He scowled down at her. "You can't help yourself, can you? Everything doesn't fit together neat and tidy! You can't go through life characterizing every dent and ding and expecting the world to fall neatly in line with Twilight Sparkle's expectations! I told you, Twilight! Sometimes there are no good choices! Sometimes, there are shitty choices, and you make the best fucking decision you can, and then you live with yourself, or you FUCKING DON'T."
She stared at his verbal explosion, shocked beyond words. She had never seen him like this. It was so unexpected that she just sat there, frozen for several seconds.
He stared at her, staring at him, then something in his eyes changed, and he turned away.
"Fuck this." He muttered. Then he made a break for it.
This time, he made it through.
By the time she had recovered enough of her wits to call after him, his retreating back had already disappeared into the ever increasing gloom.
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If you haven't read the chapter yet, I recommend that you skip this comment 'til you do. Here there be spoilers.
I played around with this chapter several times. What you are currently looking at is the fourth rewrite. There are things that I love about this chapter, and things that I hate. A story is a progression, events build on one another to a climax and resolution, but as the saying goes, the devil is in the details.
I am a pretty avid roleplayer, and some of this leaks into my writing method. Sometimes, trying to force the characters down specific paths causes problems in the narrative. There is a version of this chapter out there, with a friend of mine, one that will probably never see the light of day, which contains about twenty five hundred words of shitty flashbacks....
I ran into a bit of cognitive dissonance. Marshall fought me on this one. Ultimately he wasn't ready to reveal his secrets just yet, but Twilight kept pushing and that's what lead to this.
You can agree or disagree with me, but... well, this is the only way of writing this that felt comfortable. That fit. I made a judgement call.
This chapter suffers from a severe whiplash of tone, and I apologize for that, but hell... since the whole fucking story has been a big schizophrenic romp through my fucked up mindscape, I figure if I haven't scared you off so far, you're in for the long haul.
Sigh. I'm expecting some downvotes for this one.
Also, apologies to you, Random and Invictus, I had a friend handy who was giving me active feedback while I was writing it. I have to choose between missing the little deadline I set in my Blog, or getting your feedback as well, and... well... I'm trying to break the being late habit. If the chapter quality has suffered for it, it is because I didn't consult you guys, and that's my bad.
Great chapter, I liked that scene with Twilight bringing down that... food on herself.
Ya the mood whiplash is strong in this chapter, but that's life for ya. Twilight just has to have patience with him before he completely opens up. So being scratched behind the ears by a human is the best feeling in the world huh. Well if Twilight ever takes him back home he could make a living being an official ear scratcher and probably retire rich.
Meh, I think the chapter was fine. Marshall's decision to run off at the end there is going to bite both of them in the arse - and hard - but I still can't wait for the next installment.
So far so good, nice emotionally charged ending, and hints at a possible antagonist. Well done. ~With regards, the Current Student of the Second True Magic.
Sweet! An update! This is by far one of my favorite fanfics!
No need to apologize, Dust. This chapter was excellent, and while different somewhat from your others, it really does a good job at further developing the characters in my opinion. When I get a chance (when I get home) I'll give you a more in-depth opinion on it; but honestly, I loved it to say the least. I don't expect you to get too many, if any, downvotes for this chapter.
Also, funny story. I was just showing my girlfriend your blog post and was saying how much I wanted you to update. I refreshed the browse page and saw one of my favorites had updated. Not only that, it was yours. I should thank you because I was still expecting for you to get opinions on it from Invictus and I. This was a most welcome surprise.
1146065
Well, I'm glad you aren't upset, man. It really was just a timing issue... I respect and value your opinions. Thing is, I've been at this fanfiction game for a long time, and I am notorious for missing self imposed deadlines and blowing stuff off because it requires hard decisions. Well, I'm trying to better myself, and that means breaking bad habits.
Thanks for commenting, man.
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST CLIFFHANGRY
1145734
'Expecting down votes' Umm... why?
Maybe it's just me but I see nothing wrong with your chapter. In my opinion mood whiplash is not only acceptable, but a requirement of a good adventure story. And if it's the characters you're worried about, I see them as living up to who they are even when that means they're in conflict. I think you did a great job with this, don't be too down on yourself.
What I'm thinking is that one of the others lived through the crash but in a condition they couldn't possibly survive. One of the islands many predators showed up and Marshall was in no condition to fight it and trying would have just ended with both of them dead and they both knew it. The other crewmember probably even told him to leave. Maybe to make it even more unpleasant Marshall was forced to resort to a mercy killing so they'd have a clean death rather than experience getting eaten alive.
Morbid thought process I know but I've played a zombie apocalypse RPG session or two. The possibility of having to mercy kill an infected or crippled teammate or NPC is always present in those.
Sometimes its best to leave the past behind and look to the future, after all you can't change your choices, you must simply live with the consequences or die...
1146106
Thanks for the vote of confidence, man. I really appreciate it. You know the saying... an artist is never capable of properly judging his own work? I went through so many goddamn revisions for this chapter, you have no idea. What I have produced is the best I could do, I really do think that, and I wouldn't have posted it if I felt any differently, but after going through so many versions of the same events, I reached that saturation point where I was starting to lose perspective... if you know what I mean.
I am still recovering from this state, but the early opinion seems to be mostly positive, so I'm slowly getting my confidence back, if that makes any sense.
Nothing in this chapter breaks my suspension of disbelief. Seems perfectly fine to me.
MOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR
1146223
I know what you mean. Sometimes I can't even write because I'm not happy with anything I'm doing. Luckily that mood doesn't strike me often.
That aside I am looking forward to the next chapter. If it didn't make me a hypocrite, I'd be mad over the cliffhanger. An excellent story indeed my good sir.
I want you to know this. Your story feels real. I absolutely love it. The characters interact with each other in a fluid, organic way. Keep it up, maestro!
good chapter, that is all
1146119
I'm putting my bits down on the surviving co-pilot taking the quitters way out. Something about that "OR THEY DON'T" just screams suicide to me.
It's official. The Tombstone reference catapulted this past the nostalgia and into the top spot on my list of favorite Human involved stories. A great tale of survival. I didn't think there was too much whiplash personally. Yeah, it slowed down, but that's the nature of the situation. It was a natural progression to me. 0
Another awesome chapter unfolds. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with this chapter. Really, anything you do within reason probably won't negatively affect the story in any noticable way. Hell, I thought this chapter was great, and I'm patiently awaiting the next one. Keep up the good work!
One other thing now Twilight has to make it back to Equestria alive only so Rarity and Shinning Armor can take turns fainting at the sight of her scarred up ear
Keep up the great writing, I await your next chapter.
and on a side note, I wanna try poi now...
1146559
Well, there are actually several kinds, and they're not palm heart based. Poi is a sacred hawaiian dish, made from the corm of the taro plant, and I can't say I've ever tried it myself. The Samoans and Tahitans have a version of it which is a dessert, made from bananas and coconut cream. That's the only kind I've tried, and it is fucking awesome.
Whether or not traditional poi tastes like regurgitated rootscraper chow, well... I'll leave that up to anyone who's actually tried it. With respect to any Hawaiians out there, I'm sure that Marshall isn't saying poi tastes like vomit.
Headache imminent
Damn. Was hoping the rootscrapers killed the beast thing...whatever. What universe inspired it again>
1145734 I agree with your comment of "a severe whiplash of tone" but it isn't bad like you make it out to be. You're your own worst critic. I for one enjoyed it and eagerly await the next chapter.
Though I still think eventual shipping would be bueno.
1146900
The star wars extended universe... I can't remember the name, but it more or less hunted down Jedi and other Light Sided beings.
LOST
Heh, sorry, had to! Great update, really looking forward to where this leads, and here's to hoping they find a way home.
> Marshall grinned. "Oh yeah, definately.
The word you're looking for is "definitely".
> "That thing definately had a hard on for you." He mused.
"Definitely" again, and "He" shouldn't be capitalized.
> After awhile, he stopped cleaning but she didn't bother to lift her head. Instead he just started petting her mane and let herself kind of drift.
Should probably be "Instead he just started petting her mane and she let herself kind of drift."
> There was more to this story, at least for him, then he was telling her, she could feel it, like a scab that was half loose, but still slightly adhered to an old wound.
Should probably be separated into two sentences. "There was more to this story, at least for him, then he was telling her. She could feel it, like a scab that was half loose, but still slightly adhered to an old wound."
1147111>>1147458
Thank you both for the catches, I'll dig in and fix the errors as soon as I can.
1147111
On the subject of tree-cum-library the cum in this word is latin, translated as with or a part of. Hence the words summa cum laude, (with highest praise) or magna cum laude (with great praise). I was using it in the common british usage, where they describe a place within a place, (E.G Prestwich-cum-Oldham). This isn't the first time someone has boggled at that usage, however, so maybe in the interests of preventing confusion I'll change it something else.
Marshall better come back soon with the supplies.
Twily has another ear that needs to be cleaned.
Those two are just too cute together
The scene where Twillight got barfed on? It was made of pure epicness!!!!!!
1145734
The chapter was fine by my standards - and I recognised the song lyrics! yay~ (3 out of 7)
Two small grammar mistakes that I noticed:
incompatable -> incompatible
Out there, earlier, there were at least a dozen times where we we both almost killed -> the second 'we' should be 'were' perhaps?
Also, self-imposed deadlines for works you aren't paid for are bad for your health and often result in the 'fuck-it syndrome' - I still cannot finish the prologue of my first fic (it's maybe 90% done; I only need to write out two short scenes) ; maybe it's my laziness or that I eagerly wanted to finish it before certain point in time and then I thought: 'nobody is going to cry or get killed if I miss my self imposed deadline, let's do nothing for a week!'
I know everybody keeps saying it, but I have to reiterate that the character interaction here is just brilliant. The comedic back-and-forth never gets old.
Okay, new developments in this chapter... the monster is still alive. I didn't expect that, but I'm glad it happened; you made it out to be so durable that Rootscrapers beating it to death so quickly was a little hard to believe. And now it's still stalking Twilight, and there's no obvious way of stopping it. Hmm. I have a feeling that this thing will wind up playing a sizeable role in helping our heroes learn more about the island.
Marshall's story (such as it was; he didn't give us many solid facts) was interesting. I agree with MisterClacky's assessment, co-pilot suicide seems likely. We'll see, I guess.
1147559
Brilliant new chapter. I actually enjoyed the sudden emotional whiplash. I can hardly imagine the... stern talking to Marshall's going to be on the receiving end of when he gets back to Twilight.
Side note: I had someone make the exact same comment in my story when I used that very same Latin linking word. I always thought it was a relatively well known use of the word... guess I was wrong. That'll teach us... I suppose...
Related side note: I've noticed that fimfiction does not notify you of a comment response if it's on a different chapter than the comment you posted. So, since Pseudobob posted his misunderstanding on chapter 1 and you responded on chapter 7, he has likely gotten no notification that you responded and so has no idea that you did (unless he's been keeping a real close eye on the comments). Just FYI.
I finally got myself to take this down off the `read later` list and start it up.
Good heavens am I glad I did! Finally having caught up to the latest chapter, I can leave a comment ...
First off, I just want to say that this story is incredible! It has fantastic word-play and sentence structure, plus every scene either develops the characters or moves the plot forward. The three week time jump was perfectly placed and hasn't caused any problems. I really like how you show that Twilight and Marshal have bonded during that time. Twilight's own use of our cultural concepts really tells quite a bit of their relationship, and I'm also glad you put in things that he's forced to explain: the story explains what happened in those three weeks through insinuations. All in all, this is a wonderfully crafted story!
Secondly, I'd like to comment on your own post for this chapter. The whole `we are our own worst critics` line is a saying for a reason: it's such truth! However, I'd say it's a good thing. It keeps us on our toes, it makes little appreciation mean so much more (since we're expecting tomatoes, never roses), and, unless swamped with self-pity, it implies a sort of humility. I completely understand where your coming from, so I won't tell you to not worry. Just ... don't beat yourself in the head with a board while chanting, alright? You're doing a fantastic job!
The `whip-lash` makes perfect sense to me. Just because raging white-water rapids don't flow as smoothly as a swift river doesn't mean it's worse, in fact, I'd say it's far more thrilling! I've been told so many times to create a character, put them on a piece of paper and then let them run. That's what your doing when you refuse to bend a character to your will, so you have my full support with the way this is being written.
"A story makes its own way, much like a river shapes a canyon according to its will; the author is simply the one who drops boulders in it's path and makes record of its response."
You've got yourself a new fan, and this new fan has got himself a new favorite story!
Looking forward to the future,
-Silver
Question: Are we gonna get to see a glimpse into Twilight's world while all this is going on? It would be neat to see the mane six (and friends) react to Twi's disappearance.
1147036 From the description of it it sounds like Marshall and Twilight are fighting a Terentatek....er.....this thing
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb58378/starwars/images/2/28/Terentatek_TOR.jpg
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb58378/starwars/images/7/79/Terentatek_JATM.jpg
I could have sworn that QC was featured on EQD... But it seems it wasn't (it totally should be!).
My bloody brain is playing tricks on me... again...
1149660
I read a lot of horror stories about the editors on that site being dicks when someone sends them a story with human elements, so I kinda decided that I was going to get a solid work in place before I bothered the folks at EQD. If that makes any sense.
1149677
Well, that's reasonable I guess.
So... why don't the root scrapers know that Twilight and Marshall aren't root scrapers? They didn't role around in any muck, so they don't smell the same as the root scrapers.
1149874
This is actually from a well documented phenomenon of herd behavior. When human beings study animals in the field, at first they have to mask their scent to get close. BUT, if they can somehow short circuit the animals instincts into accepting them as a part of the herd, as long as they don't do something that triggers other instincts, they can dispense with the scent. As stated in the story, the herd will simply see them as, "the ugly stinky kids".
This form of animal behavior is visible in the bird kingdom especially. The cuckoo will actually lay its eggs in other birds nests. When the bird is born, it will push the other chicks out of the nest to ensure that it gets all the food. The parent birds will continue to feed the cuckoo despite it not looking like the parent bird because of this behavior.
Humans have a very neat ability to basically fool the instincts of animals. When your dog or cat reacts to you, he is actually reacting to what he perceives as a big dog or cat... albeit a big dog or cat that can do MAAAAAGGGGIIIIIC things.
1149325
You know, you're the first person to point that out, and I'd like to think it was clever of me. Before I read this story, I read ALOT of HiE stories, or at least, stories in which ponies interacted with humans. One of the reoccuring themes that I noticed was that in almost every instance, the ponies would be curious about the human world, and the human would explain, and then the human would freak out at pony concepts, and the same would happen the other way.
It then occurred to me that this was completely unnecessary... and in fact, more than a little boring. The interesting interaction is in those instances where pony and human culture clash. Only in those instances where that clash drives the story forward or presents interesting situations is that info necessary.
I'll elaborate. The readers, as humans, already KNOW about human culture. Further, as fans of MLP, they already know how pony culture works too. So why in the hell would I spend four paragraphs infodumping about human and pony culture just so Twilight and Marshall can go, wow, that's interesting. There's no point to it.
So as you pointed out, I cheated. I left a "blank" period in the middle there where it is implied that they've been talking, then I have Twilight make references to things she obviously LEARNED in this blank period. As long as it doesn't strain the suspension of disbelief that she could have learned these things during that time, people let it slide. It's kinda like schroedingers Cat. As long as you don't look in the box, the cat exists in a quantum state of being both alive and dead.
As long as you don't look in that blank space, they could have already discussed anything. The neat part is, if I later decide to elaborate on a difference between their cultures, I can ALSO make the assumption that they either didn't talk about that aspect, or that they did and something new occured to her. It's a like a bank of lazy!
1150166
Bank of Lazy ... or Tool of the Intelligent.
In all seriousness, though, it only seems lazy to those for whom it's common sense.
Go ahead, think yourself clever. You are!
well i just sat down and read this whole thing from beginning to end, all 7 chapters in one Go. I have to say this exceeded my expectations.
To start with great concept, well executed.
I like the prose, clear efficient, gets the point across and does not get in the way of the story.
I love Marshall and Twilight's banter. Their relationship develops in an organic fashion that doesn't feel rushed. The revelation that Marshall and Celestia have, at core, similar personalities despite the huge difference in their ages experience knowledge power etc is very well done and an intersting concept.
I also like the general creepyness of this Island, one part Skull Island, one part Lost, one part Stephen Kings " Under the dome" . Can't wait to find out what is up with that magic hunting biologically engineered monster. Very good work, keep it up
1146588
Another great chapter! For. Your info, Taro is my very favorite tuber, and I'm apparently one of the few non-Polynesians to really love the stuff, and pretty much anything made from Taro. If you want to give it a try just cook it as you would potatos. Taro chips and fries are absolutely incredible!
Btw I think your writing instincts were dead-on why this chapter. Both Twi and Marshall's behavior are very believable under difficult circumstances.