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It seems like a normal night in Ponyville, when Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense suddenly directs her out to Everfree Forest, where she sees a strange craft in the sky, terrifying her. Her friends try to comfort her and assure her she has nothing to fear, but soon the situation snowballs as reports keep coming in of strange sights, leading them into the forest to discover the truth... and something that will change all of their lives forever.
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Well done story. Why can't humans ever be portrayed like that? They are in the fic i'm writing. Again well done!
31296 I guess there's just a lot of cynicism in the world. Personally, I think it gets in the way of a good story
Thank you for the kind comment.
nice fic i was expecting humans when i heard aliens instead i got something that reminded my of Star Fox great story by the way. Will there be a squeal?
31356
/cue scaring a Guinea Pig
31356
Amazing, star fox came to my mind as well!
Completely thought the aliens were humans up until rather late in the story. Rather disappointed that they weren't. Kinda came out of left field for me. Suppose the yellow eyes should've given it away, but at the time I simply assumed they were night-vision goggles.
Overall, well-written story. Little to no writing errors, and a good plot. The only thing I disliked was the whole furry alien twist. Got nothing against furries, of course, but I'm rather annoyed by the way this fandom can't seem to see humans as anything but inherently evil (with a few exceptions). Basically, my issue is less with your story than with the fandom in general, but I can't help but wonder if the identity of your aliens was influenced by the misanthropy of the fandom (on that note: Lynolius, I have been reading your fic, and I wanted to say I approve of the way you are handling the human/pony interaction).
Other issues I had, though: With all that advanced technology, the best they can do for stealth is modern-day camo? Even we humans are already working on better tech than that (see: Metamaterial cloaking). Also, your Equestria seemed to have rather high levels of technology (e.g., computers), which doesn't seem to be consistent with the tech level shown on the actual show. However, given the schizo-tech seen in the show, I suppose all those technologies could actually be present in Equestria.
31431
I'll address this one at a time
1. I hadn't heard of that technology, and in hindsight if I had I would have included something similar, though I can probably work in the theory that cloaking technology would create an energy signature and potentially be tracked (someone could probably figure out how to do it).
2. Equestria technology: Schizo tech FTW lol
3. Misanthropy had nothing to do with my story, and indeed the concept flat out repulses me. I had actually invented these creatures a while ago and had not committed them into a fic until now. Also, the fic is meant to be set in the present day, so humans currently lack the technology to go to other planets (I'm working on that though, and I meant write something like that in the future).
Hope that helps.
I'm quite impressed from this story.
The details, the language, it just blows me away.
I admit, I love reading stories about aliens in Equestria. Because it kinda reminds me of my own little world tucked deep in my mind, a world of ancient beings and vast mysteries.
I know its supposed to be felt like it is going to stop right here, but I can't help but hope for a sequel.
Kudos to you my friend, this story was amazing! It helps me imagine what how you view your own world, I love learning what things people imagine.
Great job!
That was a very good story. Though the bit at the end about keeping the aliens secret was kind of silly given that the whole town saw, heard, and partied down with them.
31885
Secret as in keep it secret from the rest of Equestria. Hope that answers that.
32135
I already suspected that, but I'm saying its unrealistic given the fact that its swearing an entire town (plus travelers) to secrecy, and the ponies will likely have different opinions on what should be done. Who's to say that Joe-shmo devilery pony won't take it upon themselves to tell Celestia that Ponyvile played hosted to some alien diplomats, or that somepony didn't run off during the party?
31356
Late reply, but yes there will be. A sequel is already in the works.
117719 oh i went to the conclusion that because the ponys reached the equal of human tech during the 1990s or early 2000s that humans had tech far further than what we had now but i guess that was stupid to say as pony tech is incredibly hard to judge as they have something equal to our 18th century tech then throw modern hazmat suits in the mix so i guess any tech range is appropriate the idea of a modernized equestria is different and rare as to say that most people either put Equestria in medieval age tech or usually 17th -18th century tech range because of the idea that because Equestria has magic they wouldn't advance as fast as a race without magic which i believe is a educated guess but im also a bit overly patriotic and get nit picky and begin to whine when i see Equestria put as a Equal in tech as i always like humans having some big advantage over equestria and it tends to make me overlook a good story i cant help it the feeling kinda burns me on the inside but every reader has their preferences to a story and im sure mine aren't that bad when compared to others anyway I cant wait for the next story keep up the great work
also do a barrel roll
120631
I like to think of it as a mix, some high tech here, some low tech there. Would explain why we see such schizo tech in the show.
Also, a sequel has been posted. Please read, review and tell your friends.
Damn, beats the hell out of my story
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/617/okayguy.jpg
How we're you able to put so many character icons on this page? I thought the limit was 5.
666398
I don't remember there being a limit. All I know is you can only put the ones that appear in the story up there
Gods that are responsible for raising the sun don't get sick with a normal flu. Unless the whole "raising the sun" thing is a lie told by Celestia. Or, this is a universe in which the sun hasn't risen when Celestia is sick. Which is hard to imagine, personally. On the show the "we need Celestia unavailable" problem was sovled by sending her to Saddle Arabia on a diplomatic mission.
No librarian on Earth would EVER casually dogear a page. Libraries give away BOOKMARKS for free because of it. Dogearing a page is something a non-librarian, ignorant of the long history of books and paper would do. As Equestria seems to still be in "printing press" technology, it's closer in time to when a single page of paper was worth $10 in modern currency.
Unless, of course, paper in Equestria is made of magic and never fades, never keeps a folded edge, and never rots.
“I saw a big scary man standing behind the rose bush!” - minor correction: "a big scary pony" or "big scary something." I'm not sure "man" is in a pony's vocabulary.
The story itself engaged me enough to keep me reading. So, good job!
2158077
OK, I'll give you most of what you said, but where did they ever say that Celestia and Luna are divine? Contrary, there's other places where it seems they do NOT possess divine attributes, so it's perfectly acceptable to imagine that they are not divine and can in fact get sick. I'm getting a little tired of bronies insisting that it's seemingly canon that "alicorns = gods".
As to who would raise the sun, I already answered that; Luna was doing Celestia's job for her while she recovered.
But thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
2158746 Hm. I don't know where I got the "alicorns = gods" thing. I just did a "control-f" searching for the word "god" in my conglomerate transcript, and nowhere in MLP :FIM is the word "god" spoken, much less "goddess."
It's not explicitly stated, no. I think it comes from all the mythologies MLP borrows from. Perseus, hydra, pegasus, etc - in that mythology, it was gods that moved the sun and the moon.
My question about raising the sun refers to the 1000 year span in which Luna was imprisoned. If Celestia got sick THEN, the sun wouldn't rise.
Or, alternatively, the phrasing of Luna's disobedience was "she refused" to relinquish the sky. It might be they're required to both raise AND lower their respective celestial bodies...
2159742
But you forgot that "Hearth's Warming Eve" also indicated that unicorns could apparently do it, presumably en masse. It's no unreasonable to think that unicorns were recruited to do it if Celestia go sick back then.
So many character tags...
2910430
This was written prior to the rule limiting character tags was added, so I went overboard
I'll probably edit it later. BTW what did you think of the story?
2913085 I haven't read it yet (that word count is intimidating), but it's in my read later list.
I've only managed to read the beginning and this is only my opinion (like it really matters to anyone)
but it dose not sound realistic to me at no point have I heard of an air port in equestria for example,
but again this is only my opinion the from what I have read its got a good build I liked how you started the story with pinke pie I have not seen a story that starts with pinke's p.o.v.
3347395
A little suspension of disbelief is going to be needed to read this series
Celestia getting flu? Impossible. She must know some healing spells and we mustn't forget that she has strong magic that protects her.
5666269
If Discord can get sick, she can, and we haven't seen anything to suggest they have spells that can completely cure a disease.
Aliens saving Scootalo's life. They fixed her leg. If it were humans on Equestria they would have to take her back to ship and perform surgery on her leg.
8444527
Advanced technology man
8444574
Yep you got that right. Using modern medicine like anesthesia with advanced medical technology and treatments to fix a broken leg.
There are no planes in Equestria. Whoever rote this has a wild imagination for combining the human technology with pony technology.
9810042
And that's a problem why? Let's not be a complete purist and let people be creative.
9810367
Okay.
This was pretty good. My only complaints are that the stuff about Equestrian airports and computers has not aged well since this story's release. And given that Twilight herself will throw up a hologram of sorts at times during the show, I don't see why she'd be surprised. But I get why that's there; this thing was written way back in 2012, and the show's lore hadn't been as settled in as it is now. But other than that, I liked this.
And I liked the aliens themselves. Nice departure from the whole "humans are the aliens" shtick, and it's equally nice to see an alien race that's actually based off of a known animal type rather than some made up creature. I've actually got an alien race of my own that's based on raptors. I wouldn't mind seeing the Altarians in some sort of non-MLP standalone story.
10070097
Thank you for your comment.