>>622443622443 If English is not your native language, you should find someone who can proof read for you.

Where did you get the story pic?

This intrigues me... go on

Aceon is interested

This has so, so much potential. The idea of having an interrogation and having your story entirely centered around such a premise is absolutely brilliant. Lovely job.

Just as a recommendation; there are couple of groups on here that would be more than willing to help you clean up your grammatical and spelling errors. There isn't anything glaring, but your writing really will benefit from having some extra eyes to help you find mistakes and plot-hole errors.  

>>622744622744 I make it.

>>622920622920 Thanks I will ask for some help from them.

>>622628622628 If I can abuse, could you suggest me one?

>>624145624145 I don't know anyone in particular, but I'd be willing to if you like.

>>624173624173 Then, again if is not to much abuse from my part, I will be delighted if you can do me such favor.

>>625941625941 Sure thing!

Just let me know when I can be of assistance!

>>626198626198 Then, it is OK if ya can give a spell check to this one please?

>>622406622406

If Knighty catches this post, you'll be banished to the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN

BBBBBBBEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEETTCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHh

No, but seriously...Knighty is banning for firsts

>>626286626286 Sure thing! How shall I do that though? Should I copy it onto a word processor, make the changes, then send you the fixed version?

>>626557626557 Please do.

It will mean a lot to me.

FireFlash approves!

>>631073631073 Oh crap, I can't believe I forgot to do this! I'll get back to you asap.

This is different, but it is a good kind of different.

I hope to see more.

I like it! =D Could use a little more proof reading. ;) Still good though!

>>740511740511Thanks!

... what is "proof reading"?

Sorry, Mex.

>>743585743585 Wait. So, you are from Mexico? Does that mean that English is your second language?

>>744967744967 Yep. Pretty much.

>>746913746913 Oh, well, then I suppose that is the "problem". I meant that you had a couple of errors, but if English isn't your first language, then I can totally excuse you from them. =) In fact, your writing is better than many people whose first language is English. Anyway, if ya ever need someone to proof read / edit / review for you, I'd be more than willing to lend a helping hand/hoof. =P

>>748329748329 Thanks, and I will be honored to.

So if not much abuse from my part: please, give me a hand.

>>750591750591 As I said: I would be more than willing to help anytime! I'm not totally sure how to go about getting material from the author to the proofreader, but I suppose you could send it in a message or whatever ya want =P Or I suppose I could always comb your material that you've already published for errors more thoroughly. Whatever, tell me what ya want me to do, if anything. I enjoy reading your stories, so keep up the good work! =)

>>751435751435 Again if it’s not much abuse from my part, it will be fine with option #2.

I have already sent this to some proofreader groups, but they seem to have too much work.

Though I'm still ignoring what does 'proofreader' means.  

Also: do you know of a group good for edition and feedback?

Thanks beforehand!

>>752686752686 Alrighty! I'll read over your story again, and send ya any errors I find, ok?

Oh, well, "proofreading" is pretty much just reading over things again, reviewing them. It's the same as re-reading and editing, unless I am mistaken.

(Also, I'm still ignoring what does 'proofreader' means. is the incorrect use of "ignore". Perhaps you meant "ignorant of what proofreading means"?)

Oh, no, unfortunately I do not know of any group like that. Sorry =/

No 3rd chapter?

And here is the third one.

Oh crap, seeing this today reminded me that I'm still working on editing for you!

How do I keep forgetting that?

>>811934811934 Don't worry, iws not a race... wait!!

Does that mean my gramr is that bad?!

>>814307814307 It just needs some work. You did say English is not your first language, correct?

I have to protect the queen? ... Okay.

>>939708939708 *Some hours later*

General: You did a terrible job!

After taking my sweet damn time, here is the fourth chapter.

Enjoy it and don't forget to comment!!

W00T! New chapter!

P.S. I found two minor typos near the beginning of the chapter. One of them was a missing space.

update

Woo another chapter!

And really interesting too.

Will gladly wait for the next one.