OK, not sure how well this will turn out, I decided to try out a FlutterDash, and it is going to have at least 2-3 more chapters, I hope. And if you notice any errors, or anything wrong with how I act out Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, Let me know!

I must know what is on that letter!

"it's far to early to eat"  First "to" should be "too"

" small bunnies sight"  Should be "small bunny's sight"

Besides those 2 errors, nothing else spotted

Very well written, I'll be following this story here to see where you take it!

Feels like a very good story. I like the way it's written. There is only one thing that confuses me...

"As she left the cottage, her face came into contact with another mares"

What does this mean? Did you mean to say: 'her face came into contact with another mare'? It could be just me, though.

Looks interesting, can't wait for next chapter.

Fix what? I'm perfectly okay with this!

Can't wait to see the rest of it!

Rainbow that letter best not say what I think it does...

Carry on please!

Yay

You got me. I want more.

WHAT WAS IN THE LETTER?!?!?!

dammit....... this is gonna drive me crazy.....

>>622730622730 Mission accomplished.

i enjoyed this story id like to see more chapters.

picture is adorable also wtf was in the letter

>>620255620255 The way i wrote it, it goes towards that this ->her face came into contact with another mares. is meaning -> her face came into contact with another mares face. just left the word 'face' out because i felt that it somewhat helped it flow a bit better than being repetitive with the whole face bit.

>>623679623679

Ah, thank you. That cleared it up. It still is a good story, nonetheless.

I hope this turned out OK, I'm doing the story in each of their viewpoints for each part of the story to get a view into each mind.

letter reveal - and will this pov thing be happening for every chapter or just something your experimenting with?

Read most of this with some smooth jazz playing..

Was pretty good. Damn good writing, mate.

I'll be watching.

>>624843624843 If you guys like it, ill continue to do it. Otherwise, ill just stick with more of a single. SO, do you think it is something that i should continue to do? or just stick with a single character?

This was BRILLIANT!  I LOVED THIS!  

Great! The only problem I think there is by doing the double POV is that you kinda just tell the plot, then elaborate. Because, I still don't have my questions answered from the first chapter. Maybe you should move in a bit deeper into the plot in each one.

Other than that, great story man!

>>628316628316 so what in the first chapter do you still not have answered? and yeah i prob do need to go deeper, maybe another story within a story :D

>>628489628489 What was in the letter, pretty much. I just feel like the story goes roundabout with a double brief, if you don't progress.

>>628603628603 Yeah, now that I look back on it, I could have done a better job and made Dash's POV with more... scenes or whatever you call them. will be sure to make better chapters though, and after all each story and chapter is a different learning experience

and no updates tonight, too tired so I'll get them to you guys tomorrow!

good story , needs an alpha reader for grammer checks though. keep writing

Hope you guys like this update! and more will be explained through next chapter, so be patient!

I loooove it!

Error:  "she hind behind" should be fixed

great stuff

Cool story bro!

FINALLY!

Couldn't wait for this next chapter to be released!

>>642744642744 Patience is a virtue, my friend.

Worth the wait.

Good job.

>>648993648993 Thanks!

Good, but I found one major typo. "...the cobble stone on the bridge partially damn from the morning dew." Damn should probably be damp. I only noticed it because it was a funny typo.

>>649178649178 Thanks for the typo find!  

for our resident mailmare!! Way to go!

Keep up the good work!

>>663635663635 I just thought she should be in this and thanks for reading

Yes! Derpy!

I know anxiously await the next chapter.

Wow, that chapter was insanely good! I really liked seeing Dashie's emotional instability come into play more. We've seen what it could do to her at the Young Fliers Competition, but it never really got played up. Here we see a perfect example of how her fear and confusion could literally send her on a downward spiral, simply because she's not used to dealing with that kind of thing.

Can't wait to see the next part!

Well, that was sudden.

Dash almost died

Image: http://s1.hostingkartinok.com/uploads/images/2012/04/1ad33d8a1e4d20efdadd4d209477de11.jpg

NEED NEXT CHAPTER NOW!!!

Image: http://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/6108/59841979.10/0_69505_d80989cf_L

Derpy to the rescue

Well, Derpy saved somepony's life! Good for her!

Want. More. Please.

Very good.  I love where this is going!

>>695129695129 Thank you!

The story thickens, great Chapter

I've been waiting for this!

I like the chapters' naming system.

It leaves you wondering what's next. Good as always

>>724530724530 Thank you

I uh...huh. Upon initial inspection of the first few paragraphs, I thought this was going to be pretty generabrand shipping. Disregarding my pessimism, I drove onward. Now I have a hard time keeping my attention to a story (no really you have no idea), but something about this first chapter is slightly enthralling. I'm gonna go ahead and hit that next chapter button, and see where this goes.

I love ittt so farr! <3

Again, can't wait for the next chapter.

>>725205725205>>726134726134

Yeeeees!   YEEEES!!!!! MOAR

>>724590724590 soooo... Your thoughts?

so much win and dawww...u can has all my internets!

>>744383744383 Apparently someone didn't feel as you did. Somepony decided to change their vote from a thumb up to a thumb down >.>

And its... a feather?

>>744867744867 Uh... what exactly? lol

>>744908744908 The picture... I think...

>>744931744931 Oh. making speculations, are you? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll just have to wait and see

>>744944744944 I've read so many fics with Rainbow Dash, it seems like whenever there's a cliffhanger/secret object or something, its always a feather...

>>744955744955 ... well, I've never read a fic that has used a feather as a secret object... so damn. now im conforming to the norms for RD fics xD

>>744988744988

Oh Celestia, where to start...

Waaay too many links...

>>744994744994 I guess its just because I've never read that many RD fics, so i didn't know of what the norm was or else I would have tried to put my own spin on it... because I have already added the feather type thing. And now, it is time to figure out how to salvage this situation.

>>744994744994 Anyways, how did you like the latest chapter?

Me gusta'd.... As per usual.  Flutterbitch demands MOAR

>>745310745310 xD Glad you like!

I like this story. I think it's adorable. Even if suicide attempts are over done.

That hospital sequence though, I am more than pretty sure that they don't just go around sedating people willy-nilly. I'm also certain sedation is a complex and involved process that takes a lot of thought and calculation if done chemically. You could have done it magically and saved the hassle. That's ignoring the fact that they don't do that sedation thing anywhere but mental hospitals. That's more than a criminal offence. They certainly don't go around strapping people or ponies to tables. Without some sort of medical reason. That's also likely to result in criminal charges. You could have handled that better.

Then there's a few odd syntax mistakes, like you've written coma instead of can, and damage instead of danger. Also embezzled instead of emblazoned. That last one made me laugh.

Everything preceding that last sequence is fine, I can pass the mistakes, errors and questionable content by just fine. There's a lot wrong with that last segment. I'd seriously consider going back and re-writing that. There are more peaceful and logical ways to get Fluttershy and Mind Eye into that room, without sedation and ponies getting strapped to tables.

I write without intent to wound you, but because I believe you are a better writer than this. The last few paragraphs of this chapter feel lazy. There's an easy solution. What remains to be seen is whether you will opt to enact it.

>>745920745920 Its people like you that I really appreciate here, giving thoughtful advice towards a story. Many thanks to you.

And now I plan to re-write that last sequence.

I like the feather idea. Every author adds their own flavor to it, and I hope you do too. It should be fun seeing what you come up with, given that you haven't read other fics that use it.

Yes, that's a drastically more awesome finish to the chapter now.

>>744675744675 im gonna go on a manhunt to find everypony who disliked this

>>666325666325wat

>>745121745121 It was great. I don't know if its just me, but the Chapters are getting shorter.. and the amount of free time I have in the day to look at your chapters is getting longer...

Longer chapters plz?

>>746907746907 My situation is somewhat the opposite of yours, but I will do my best at longer chapters

>>746933746933 Yeah, your style of writing isn't just physically getting shorter, but its starting to sound a little hurried...

Your ideas are still there, just they aren't really being put out as well.

Still a great story though.

>>746944746944 sorry about that, and I just lost a good portion of the next chapter I was writing

>>747003747003 Oh, well that sucks...

>>747006747006 Yes, yes it does. But do expect an update today

>>747015747015

FIRST!!!    always wanted to do that

-------

Great as usual!

>>750259750259

>>750259750259

Image: http://s14.postimage.org/695tfpsn5/406469_330404707001203_414794188_n.jpg

but why you write so good?

>>751296751296 That is a compliment, yes? if so, Thank you. I <3 comments like this.  

>>751316751316

Image: http://i.qkme.me/3vlu.jpg

>>751645751645 I do hope that you do not plan to toss the story to the ground... or drink it for that matter. Fluttershy would not approve.

>>752135752135Nope I just love this story

>>752422752422 So you want to drink it up?

Okay...

>>752880752880 inb4sexualinnuendo

>>760757760757 I am quite clairvoyant, as a pegasus too, am I not?

Finally! I sat down to read this great story! Been sitting in my favorites, laughing at me for weeks.

I really loved how you would write the connections that Dash and Fluttershy were sharing throughout the chapters. Loved them all.

Ah, finally caught up! Perhaps if i wasn't so lazy...

Great story! Please continue!

I had fun writing this chapter, although it is kinda a mix between both POV's. It is almost over, folks, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it might be a bit strange

Hooray, this updated just as I finished reading every other chapter.

I like how well the emotions are shown in this chapter, and the overall story. It's sad and sweet at the same time.

...

...

Captain Obvious, awaaaaaaay! *flies off*

I always say this, and now I always say that I always say this, but new chapter! Yay!

I've followed this story for so long now. It really has developed well and is going strong. I'll be sad when this comes to an end because I'm enjoying each chapter so much.

This chapter isn't too strange... I just had to reread a bit to make complete sense of whats going on...