CosmicAfro
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Yes, it is completely written. Expect updates daily. They will be small (very small, actually), but it's to build up the necessary suspense.
That was... odd...
I'll be watching to see who the winner will be. ![]()
Is this a series about a staring contest?
That's a complete win in my book.
I have to expect random
to appear and save the day.
is always the hero.
“Fine, I see that thou wishest it no other way,” she said, returning to a mix of her archaic speak and common tongue. “We challenge the to a staring contest! The winner who’s lids refusest to drop last wins the chocolate muffin!”
"The" should be "thee".
:P
I hope that's a legitimate correction.
Need... more...
And my guess is that they will blink at the same time, and a civil war will be started over the muffin, the country divided by support for the two princesses. It will be epic.
You know, this was actually interesting. I'm going to be checking on this one.![]()
“Very well, I shall add that to my calendar when I have one this contest.”
It supposed to be won.![]()
You know, it's pretty hard to make a feature-worthy story out of a two hour staring contest. But you managed it.
My money is on Derpy breaking in and stealing the muffin whilst they're still staring at each other.
Yeah, my bet's also on somepony going and eating the muffin, oblivious to the plight of the staring contest.
And then, suffering the wrath of the goddesses.
THIS FIC IS TOTAL SHIT.
There's no freaking reason behind this and the entire concept has less substance than a Molecule of Dark Matter.
Kindly stop posting this, for it is full of shit.
Not to mention your absolutely atrocious grammar.
"Celestia promptly greeted her solar counterpart" - I think you mean "lunar"
"Celestia was apparently bemused at the prospect" - "bemused" means "confused" or "puzzled"; you probably want a different word.
When did I make the featured bar
?
I figured that I'd get a post like this and regardless if it's sarcasm or not I feel as if I should adress it.
First of all, if you don't like it or the subject matter, why would you even read it? I'm assuming you're a brony because you -are- on a fanfiction website dedicated to writing, so where is your love and tolerance that many of you seem to hypocritically shout? I find it complete and utter crap when people post comments like this that have nothing constructive to offer. Do I expect to get praise from everyone? No, that's stupid, but the least you could do is offer constructive criticism on how I could improve. I mean, obviously if it's shit, you know how to make it better.
Yes, I should have had my editor run through this because I know my grammar is far from flawless. This was written on a whim and it's a mystery to me as to how it became rather popular. I will ask him to run through this when it's done. Hell, even this comment didn't go through spellcheck. If I mess something up, point it out. I'll fix it.
So, the next time you feel like telling people that their work is shit, remember what community you're a part of. I'll do my part and tolerate your angry post, now it's up to you to be the better person.
Yeah, that's what happens when you write this late at night. I'll fix those now, thank you very much!
... Love and Tolerance? Seriously? That died a long time ago, you will never catch me preaching Blind Loving and Tolerance. However your point remains valid, so in this post I shall explain exactly why your fic is shit.
In chapter one you start using old words such as "Thee" yet you spell it each time as "The." Though obviously hast not studied thy language properly.
Also, I cannot begin to fathom how after being back for so long, this is the first time Luna tastes one of these Muffins. Nor can I understand as to how a staring contest will solve anything.
But the worst part is that I haven't seen your chapters really say anything other than a gradual reddening of their eyes. No proper plot development is happening. I guess there is plot development, but the plot that is developing has more holes than Swiss cheese that went through a hole puncher.
Reviewing your points made:
Again, written on a whim so I wasn't looking at many of the smaller details. Continuancy errors were bound to happen. Need I say it again that I have no idea why this is popular?
I can fathom how she never tasted a muffin like this. It could have been a recent creation. A lot can happen in a thousand years. Think about the evolution of the cellphone. How long has that been around and how much has that improved?
Edit: clarifying recent, as in was introduced maybe a day ot two ago. The point is that she never had one, she loved it, and now they're fighting over the last one.
What, plot development? It's a staring contest! But you forget to take into account this a "Random" tagged fanfiction.
Also, there is the Nightmare moon tag still left... room for more errors? Eeyup!
and then elements of harmony, luna goes back to moon for a week of time outs, and returns learning her lesson.
...
I will allow you this.
Have a Chrysalis for your troubles with me.
All I can say to you anti-NightStare Moon people-
I love this story. I need more. Now. I think I might be... addicted ![]()
Nightstare Moon is best Nightmare Moon.
(Though I am a bit partial to the version I wrote, hem hem.)
"“You and your star pupil, Twilight Sparkle, kissing.”
Now it was her turn to blush as the solar princess realized the consequences, her reputation and her student’s would be compromised. It was a low blow but it visually stressed her."
ROMANCE DETECTED!
Well, yes and no.
My interpretation of this was actually that they weren't really romantically involved but the way the mass populace is so easily swayed these days it could make everyone suspect her of it. And if not, it would at least instill doubt.
Also, I smell a new chapter coming on.
oooooohhhhh........the suspence is killing me...........and I am also amazed at how the two princesses haven't gouged their eyes out yet....poor things must be DUSTY by now.....
so did Celestia just set a stake for if she won?
oh this wont end well...
I knew it she was gonna use the spoon to her advantage to blind her opponent.
I'm writing a story about Princess Luna vs Celestia in an armwrestling match, and I had an idea-would you shoot me if I had Celestia turn into Princess Wrestle-ia?
My eyes... They burn just reading this... ![]()
Or maybe that's just the road grime and motor oil I got in them today. ![]()
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!! I can't wait to see what happens, but I also see what Celestia has up her sleeve. Clever, clever princess.
I don't know who to root for to be honest.
Well I guess we better end this very soon then![]()
it never really does, does it?
I don't think even that will help. We'll need at least one ocean.
Damn, figured out.
Hmm, if you've written this before hoof before I published this, then that's totally up to you. However, if you're writing that as a spin-off of this I'd appreciate at least a credit. Regardless, I love name puns.
I'll just say "look at your avatar for how I'm feeling".
Sleeve
?
we like it because it's random, and random things usually end up having disastrous, in hilarious, results.
Because I would believe that this would actually happen. Who knows what Celestia and Luna do up in that castle all day? ![]()
You know, as far as staring contests go, Celestia and Luna really are competing for second place.
We know who has the greatest stare in all of Equestria. ![]()
I think it's because it was a random, entertaining story that anyone with siblings could relate to.
(You should have seen the fights me and my younger sister had over the TV remote control).
I enjoy this story because I love doing staring contests, so it hits close to home.
Purdue University
A group of engineering students from Purdue University reported that its licking machine, modeled after a human tongue, took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Twenty of the group's volunteers assumed the licking challenge-unassisted by machinery-and averaged 252 licks each to the center.
University of Michigan
Not to be outdone by a Big Ten rival, a chemical engineering doctorate student from the University of Michigan recorded that his customized licking machine required 411 licks to reach the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. (411-364. Go Blue!)
Rejecting the notion that one needed active college status to undertake the Tootsie Pop licking challenge, a group of junior high students at Swathmore School used human lickers, reporting an average of 144 licks to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.
I NEED TO RESEARCH!
Also...GO NIGHTSTARE MOON! LET THE STARE LAST FOREVER!
Kind of makes you wonder, what would happen if they had settled the whole canterlot wedding fiasco with a staring contest...I mean really.
Yeah, I'm working on a fanfiction that will have chapter parts longer than this entire story, one that will be grammatically correct, and one that I hope will be generally interesting.
But, I'm also working on another really stupid fanfiction, somewhat skin to this, that won't boost my ethos as an author of decent writing, so we shall see.
I'll admit, all of my previous works suck...but isn't that why we write? To get better at it?







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