Chapter 51
The first rays of light coming off of Celestia’s sun shone in through the window. Twilight was usually already awake by now but last night had been rather… tiring.
“That’s the last time I go drinking with Rarity,” Twilight muttered as she held her hoof to her head. Most of last night was a blur. She vaguely remembered hanging out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, having fun at the carnival and then bumping into Rarity, who had closed up her stand because nopony was buying any of her overpriced dresses.
Twilight pushed the sheets off of her and stepped out of bed, taking care to avoid the various books and assorted pieces of clothing that littered the room.
“Spike!” she called out. “Do we have aspirin?”
“Check the medicine cabinet!” Spike yelled from downstairs, causing Twilight to clutch her head once more.
“No so loud!” Twilight yelled back.
“What?!” Spike yelled, even louder now. “What did you say Twilight? You’ll have to speak up!”
Twilight groaned and dragged herself to the bathroom, where the medicine cabinet was located.
She tried to use her magic, only for it to fizzle out, a few green sparks erupting from it accompanied by a stinging headache. “Ouch,” Twilight cried out. Since magic was out of the question, she opted to use her hooves instead.
And by doing so she nearly broke off the small door as she tore it open. It took her tired eyes some time before she spotted the brightly colored bottle of aspirin.
She pulled it out of the cabinet, only to drop it to the ground. “Lousy hooves,” she muttered to herself. “How does Applejack ever get anything done on her farm?” she wondered out loud as she moved to pick up the plastic bottle.
Eventually she managed to do so and placed it in the sink. Using her hooves to hold the bottle steady, she bit down on the lid and tried to pull it off.
Unfortunately the lid seemed to have been glued to the bottle and wasn’t coming off at all.
“Come on!” Twilight yelled, before flinching at the sound of her own voice. “Can’t you see I’m in pain here?”
The bottle remained rather indifferent to Twilight’s suffering.
Twilight picked the bottle up and examined it closer. She felt just about ready to slap herself silly as she noticed the foalproof cap on the bottle. “Silly Twilight,” she said to herself. “You just need to push and turn.”
She did just that, pushing down with her hoof on the cap before twisting it. Or at least, that was what Twilight tried. Lacking some sort of dexterous extremity made it rather hard for Twilight to both push and twist at the same time, leaving her to once again wonder how Earth ponies worked around not having magic.
With a cry of frustration she tossed the bottle against the wall, causing it to ricochet off of it and fly out the window.
“Ouch!” somepony cried out from outside.
“Oops,” Twilight said to herself.
A loud knock on the door caused Twilight’s eyes to widen.
“I’ll get it!” Spike yelled.
Twilight rushed out of the bathroom and down the stairs, just in time to see Spike open the door.
“I do believe this is yours, Spike,” a slightly disgruntled Prince Blueblood said. “Honestly, I set hoof in this town and I get hit in the head with a bottle of aspirins. Such uncouth ponies that live here and I-”
He fell silent as he noticed Twilight standing halfway up the staircase. “You! You’re that Changeling that Aunt Celestia was talking with! The one I slammed into the ground!”
“You did what now?” Spike asked. “Blueblood, I know I told you to be upfront with your feelings but that’s crossing the line!”
“But Spike, she’s a Changeling!” Blueblood exclaimed. “Why aren’t you panicking with me?”
“Because I’m a rational dragon?” Spike offered. “Also, in case you didn’t know it yet: that’s Twilight Sparkle.”
“Hi,” Twilight said, using her regular voice this time around.
“I, I, what?” Blueblood stammered. “But that doesn’t make any sense!”
“Meh,” Spike shrugged. “About as much sense as you being heads over hooves about her.”
“Hey!” Twilight cried out. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What?” Spike asked. “I’m just saying that the two of you would make for an awful couple. I mean, one of you is an esteemed member of a royal family and a shining example to us all. And the other’s Blueblood.”
“Hey!” Twilight cried out again, drawing Spike’s attention to her as she walked down the stairs. “Are you implying that I can’t date somepony like Prince Blueblood?”
“Are you implying that I’m not an esteemed member of the Equestrian royalty?” Blueblood asked angrily.
“All I’m saying is that you’re a jerk,” Spike said as he pointed at Blueblood. “And you’re a recluse that’ll probably end up marrying a book,” he said, pointing at Twilight.
The prince and the princess glared at the baby dragon, before looking at each other. “Dear Twilight, Princess Amaryllis or whatever it is you call yourself nowadays… would you care to join me for lunch?”
“I’d love to, Prince Blueblood,” Twilight said. Blueblood held a hoof out for her to hold, which she took eagerly.
The two of them walked back out the door but not before blowing a raspberry at Spike.
Spike waited for the odd couple to get out of hearing range, before speaking up. “I still got it,” he said.
“What do you still have?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“You know, the ability to annoy ponies into doing stuff,” Spike said. “I just hooked Twilight and Blueblood up.”
“What?” Pinkie asked. “That’s crazy, Spike, why would you do that?”
“Some people like weird ships,” Spike said with a shrug. “Hey, Pinkie? How did you get back here? Aren’t you still in the Wastelands?”
“And miss April Foal’s day?” Pinkie snorted. “Get real.”
The end.
Epilogue
Blueblood died on the way back to his home planet, leaving Twilight widowed and six hundred kids without a father. Nothing of value was lost.
Okay, you got me.
i thought something off. i was like did i miss a chapter?
wat
I just knew someone was going to post a troll chapter. Congrats, you were the first of the many fics I follow to do so. But isn't it a little early, April fools day is tomorrow.
well played sir, well played
wow, Starting the April Foal's Day Festivities EARLY Are We?
YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD YOU
*see update*
New chapter , on my birthday ? Yay
*see word count*
Oh , I guess it's time for a joke.
*Read chapter*
And that's why I love being born on April 1st .
Hehe, I'm on the west coast, so April Fool's Day is still eight hours away.
2351400>>2351407 Over here, it's only five minutes away
A little early on the April fools gag, I almost went to get torches and pitch fork before I read the authors note.
Silly people who live across the ocean, it's still Easter Day here, not April first!
That's evil! April's fool isn't until one minutes from now!
and it was with this chapter that he gave in person to his fans that Evilpresident was never seen again.....
I could have taken this as a serious chapter if the clock didn't just tick past 0:59...
It's April Fools day?
Nice dude, you got us all GOOD! Even Pinkie wouldn't see this one coming...
I still have 9 hours until April Fools Day.
bravo on the April Fools.
2351435 Only in countries that are in timezones before +3... or was it +4...
Lets see... A typo on the chapter number. Not a good start.
*Keeps reading*
Le Buck?
*Starts skimming, thinks better of it, and skips strait to the author's notes*
You... you... sad, sick, sack of shit! Take a stick, buff it `til it shines, turn it sideways, and-
*Is promptly dragged off before he can kill anypony*
(Edit: I feel strongly that anyone who practices April Fool's day should be pulled out into the street and shot. It is a belief that formed early in life after one too many pranks against my person turned life threatening. Suffice it to say, I was actually holding back quite a bit with this post. Take it with a block of salt and move along.)
I knew something was up the second I saw the abnormally low word count. Still, almost fooled me.
Congratulations this chapter broke my mind. I'm impressed, it's a rare day I read something that is this random.
Five Pinkies out of five.
That was the best chapter in the story
LLLLOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL i see wat you did there
Emprah-Damn it. Where's the Commissar?
(Good one though, really.)
Wow.
2351413 Haha, we are in the same timezone! That means, I read it on April Fools day. Also, chapter 51?
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, though! Or is that today, now?
ugh. I forgot there'll be a fuck ton of April fools chapters coming soon.
also on an unrelated note, I liked this chapter. even if its an april fools I liked the idea of it and the chapter itself.
2351373 I thought the same thing. Then I remembered another author who posted an april fools day chapter early. Dang first quatro and now mirros image... golden armor better not be a bust
2351454
you sick, sick, bastard. you got my hopes up for nothing. you're so sick you made . what do you have to say for your-self?
P.S.
says "HI"
...you know what? I'm STILL royally pissed off over this!
I'm giving this story a downvote until the real chapter happens.
Hey, no more global warming!
Update jumps in.
this doesn't make any sense.
WTF?
Oh. lol
600 on her own! And i thought Shining had it bad with his 173 new hatchlings, at least he had 2 wives to help.
Okay, I admit it, you had me going for the first few hundred words. I mean, maybe you just got writers block with the CMC and decided to skip ahead? Curse my brain and it's ability to over-rationalise.
Oh wait I forgot the holiday that will drive me to commit murder is tomorrow.
2351389 For you perhaps, it's past midnight here
2351415 Nope, you're just late
2351418 Silly people who live across the ocean, it's already April first here, not Easter Day!
2351426 Indeed 'disappears in a puff of smoke'
2351509 Horay! Also, the new chapter will be posted later today, don't worry
2351560 Sorry, I couldn't help myself... she made me do it!!!
2351570 Lol, totally worth it but seriously, relax. The new chapter will be posted later today. Well, my today at least, I have no idea of what timezone you're in.
2351671
oh whew, this wasn't real. You had me going there for a sec
Ah, so the auhtor is from the GMT +1 zone. Because we already have the 1st of april since 38 minutes. Maybe germany?
Great prank.
2351703 Close but no cigar. I live in Belgium, right next to Germany
Haha I love April fools' chapters. Great to know next chapter is coming.
I was like wth!!! Then ohhhh... April fools... Is tomorrow
ha!
You tease, you
2351710 Damn, and there I hoped to maybe meet the author of one of my (really) favorite storys, if he would live nearby. Oh well, maybe if may fancy strikes for wood-shoes (or however they are called in english).
2351695
Central Standard Time. Aka: -6 GMT.
Also, I have in fact punched a fellow over an April Fool's joke. While at work. And got away with it. I had already stated at the start of the shift that I had a Zero Tolerance policy in place, and had in fact reminded the perpetrator of it just before the shit went down. So I pelted him right in the breadbasket. Thankfully the Lead on site agreed that the asshole was asking for a Darwin Award, and let it slide.
In short, this holiday is just an excuse to pick on and tease others, and I hope it will one day shrivel up and die.
Oh lord the Aprils fools day is coming
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2351695
Hey, that means you live one timezone East of me! You know what that means? That means we're practically neighbours ! *Waves over the English Channel (la Manche?) in hopefully the right direction.* Hello! Hello new neighbour!