Luna guards the realm of dreams, keeping the ponies of Equestria safe from their own self-conjured nightmares, and ensuring they are well-rested to meet the day before them. But with that privilege and responsibility comes some information that she was not prepared for, nor entirely ready to handle. How does the Princess of the Night handle her burgeoning feelings?
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The story is teen - sex rated for some mature inner dialogue and implications, but does not contain explicit descriptions of sexual events.
Chapters (4)
The story is good, Luna's dreamwalking is done very well as is the relationship between the sisters. I feel like it is better left where the chapter ended, you could develop it into a full story but it seems better as is.
Ok I like this concept. I've seen a lot that deals with Luna's dreamwalking and how it affects the ponies she aids but not too much on how the dreams she enters affects Luna. How might she use the knowledge about ponies gained from their dreams, it's an interesting question. I really hope people see this and enjoy it as much as I did, really want to see more.
Yep, I like this. I like it quite a bit. I'd love to see more to this story, so please do continue.
Commence read.
Looks like Luna shall be at it for a bit.
Something is pestering my mind, but not quite sure what it is.
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Eh, I think that it feels too incomplete to simply be left alone. Creating this conflict and Mist's character in general and then leaving it is a disservice to the story and what could come from it. Continuing it, I believe, is a far better idea. I mean, leaving it as is doesn't really say much as a story.
Yeah, needs more. Sweet as it stands, but incomplete.
6044643 I feel like Luna would be at it for a long while, the way the romance looks to me is that both of them have feelings for each other, the only wall is getting Mist to talk about it, sex would probably ensue. If he makes more I would read it because Loyal can make anything good, but I don't think it would add to the story.
I say it would be a crime to not continue this story
Does luna succeed or fail?
As it stands the peice is this nice melancholy jaunt through the dreams of these two characters.
Yet I was hoping for somehint of a conclusion, it just feels weird that little has changed for either of them.
Luna makes an attempt via dreams and mist opens up a little.
Perhaps thats what gives the peice its tone?
I'm not sure whether another chapter would be able to keep the same tone but I would love to see how the situation in this one progresses.
From what you presented, I definitely say continue. It has a strong start and definitely leaves open the possibility of 'will they or won't they'.
I look forward to seeing more of it :)
6044638 lack of sleep and dreams ? ^^
This. This right here, is the kind of awesome that drew me into Archmage and kept me hooked the entire way through. Please do continue! :D
Mist is doing exactly what he needs to do to keep the Princess of his dreams for more than one night of passion.
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I got chills from that part man. Friggin chills.
Awesome fucking job, Loyal.
Well, I'm way late on this comment, but hey:
Really dug this chapter and the amount of progression we saw. Luna's playing it a bit coy, and I'm glad for that. I see her written in such a way as to rush things far too often, so seeing her take it a bit slow is great. Also, Mist is just pitch perfect here, especially around her sister. Can't blame her for needling him a bit, especially when he brings a princess in for a late snack. ;)
My only critique is that the scene break near the end felt a bit abrupt. Took me a couple of re-reads to sort out where we jumped to after the cafe scene. But, that's a minor thing. Good stuff, as usual!
WILL YOU TWO GET A ROOM!.......Oh? I mean a real room!........What? Taking it slow....(sigh)........OK........heheheheh! Romantic suspense. I think I can take it.......AH HELL! WHO AM I KIDDING! WILL YOU TWO GET A ROOM AND HASH THIS OUT? LOCK THE FREAKING DOOR! ORDER DINNER! AAAAAAHAHAGGGGG! (Love your work!)......(I'll go to my corner and shut up now........ mumbling... "get a room.......he's right freaking there...grumble.".) hehehehehehe!
This chapter...... is actually awesome.
Like, really good.
I wish I knew how to elaborate but I don't. It was simply... good.
Don't doubt your own abilities, I'm sure for those as skilled as you writing is just like riding a bike - you never forget.
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AAAAAHSJXKDNWJXLDNWA
THANK YOU. I was SO nervous about this chapter >.<
6679037 Seconded.
Great job Loyal. The ending was great, but truly, sometimes the simplest solution is the best. Just get out there and hit the ball, so to speak.
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Not without some measure of great personal stress and/or duress. Luna's afraid of ruining something good (at least something she hasn't experienced before) thus she's probably going to browbeat and research for another chapter or so before we see our conclusion.