• Member Since 6th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Rising Shine


My name is Christian and I love to write. :)

T

Ice Cream and Vanilla Cream are sisters. They enjoy there lives, until one day. From then, everything seems to get down in Ice's life, to the point, where she is close to say good bye ... but there is always somepony here to help...

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 23 )

Wow...
So sad, :fluttercry:
yet so wonderful
Have a well deserved like



Gear leaved me years ago!
I think you mean left:scootangel:

6141385

I seriously tought, now comes a giant text about how my grammar sucks, thank you, that it was a little part of your comment, and yeah, mean left XD

The story itself is great, but there were a few too many spelling and grammar errors to really concentrate on it. Try to fix that. :ajsmug:

It's Vanilla. I'm calling it. also, beaten up? By who? Gear?

...Incredible story. I'm shocked by how good this is. If only the grammar and spelling were better, it would be a virtually perfect story. :twilightsmile: Also, it's interesting how Ice didn't tell Vanilla about her death. In every other story like this, they always tell. Nice twist. :ajsmug:

8353390
Yeah, english isn't my first language, I try my best(And believe me compared to my first stories version 1.0, this is clearly better XD). But the grammar problem will always be in the way probably. :/

8353431
I'm glad you enjoyed it, I really tried my best with this story and, except mayby my first story, this one seems to be the most liked too^^ I hope I can come up with more one day, but real life is too much right now to really concentrate on FanFics. I hope I still find days again to write more :3

Good evening. Thanks very much for the lovely submission to our contest! While it's definitely a little rough around the edges as far as its grammar and spelling are concerned, I could tell there was a lot of heart put into this, and I appreciate that. Keep practicing your writing, and keep reading plenty of other material as you continue to develop as a writer! And once again, thank you for the read. :twilightsmile:

8384566
Thanks^^ Yeah, grammar isthe problem most pointing out, and it's most likely never be good enough, it's just not my first language n.n'

8385622
That's an understandable enough of a reason, at least, for it. But don't despair, really, you can only get better from here if you keep practicing! :twilightsmile:

Hi, friend. So I got around to reading one of your stories, and, firstly, I want to say that I enjoyed this a lot. Reading your comment from a few years ago justifying why there are a lot of grammatical errors—that's perfectly understandable. I began reading this story understanding that. What I did was wisely decide to ignore the grammatical errors and focus on the story itself.

I think it was a very good concept. It's a little short, obviously, but the way I interpret the story is that it is actually a collection of flashbacks or memories that Ice Cream is experiencing about her younger days. I appreciate how the story didn't exactly have a normal happy ending, because that's what sad stories are inherently, they're stories that are intended to tug at the reader's heartstrings. Well, my heartstrings were properly tugged at. It was short and sweet, like the saying goes.

As another person commenting here wrote, practice makes perfect, so I encourage you to pick this hobby back up and continue writing.

See you on the fimfiction Discord server. Sincerely, Riley (Love and What Came After).

Grammar aside, understandable why, this story is an absolute banger. I love it and stories like this that delve into deep existential topics. You may think this grammar is horrid, but na, I could still focus on the main story. Keep going my friend, if you want, you'll only get better.

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