One wall eyed mare (Derpy) runs into a shy little mare, Fluttershy. These two ponies are asked by Princess Luna to help find a cure in the Everfree Forest for Princess Celestia who is very sick. As they get ready to go Fluttershy runs to Rainbowdash and Applejack who, as usual, are trying to compete at a game to see who's the best. She pleads to them trying to get them to make Derpy Hooves not go with her. Applejack insists she'll go with the two mares instead of telling Derpy to back out. Rainbowdash on the other hand just decides to tell her to go without Derpy. They go up the the edge of the Everfree Forest and are about to walk in when Fluttershy flinches, and jumps into a bush at the sound of Derpy's voice. On this quest to find a cure for their dear Princess Celestia, Derpy stumbles into a wild animal. As it rampages after Derpy it is up to Fluttershy to stop it. They are taking to long and so Princess Luna comes in to help them. Applejack and Rainbowdash have been lost while Derpy still runs away from the animal trying to kill her. At last Luna finds Derpy and stands in its way. She gets thrown into a bush that happens to have the cure in it. Fluttershy's realizes someone she cares for has been hurt thus kicking in her instinct to yell at the animal and sending it off in fear.
Luna gathers up the cure and thanks Fluttershy and her companions. Fluttershy notices if it hadn't been for Derpy they may have been in the forest longer than they expected. The two Pegasus's go back to Ponyville forgetting about a certain mare or two that went with them.
first post
I'm liking the idea behind this. I believe I shall track it and see where this goes
I like where its going. A bit of editing could do but a first always has room for improvement. Not to be a grammar nazi, Rainbow Dash has a space. But very good
Good follow up :) Could be longer imo but you can't force a book to be to your specifications, same with a fic on less you're writing it
The story so far is good
Possibly seperate the writing, so it isn't a wall of text
Other than that, I am enjoying it
This is good :)
I can't wait to see what happens next
Thanks guys :) This is my first story. It just came to me off the top of my head not to mention I wrote it while I was half asleep. I'll edit my terrible mistakes later on.
It's sort of out of character for Fluttershy to be the way she is but...well...given that she's not very sociable, it's sort of difficult for her to determine what is wrong with Derpy...
Did you summarize the entire story in the description?