• Published 27th May 2015
  • 2,646 Views, 37 Comments

The Zebra's Verse - Between Lines



Twilight asks Zecora why she rhymes.

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2
 37
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A Story

Zecora smiled softly, her great iron cauldron bubbling before her. Taking a sniff of the swirling yellow fumes, she rubbed her nose and trotted over to her shelves. Upon them rows and rows of dried plants sat bottled and ground, awaiting her selection. She plucked a bottle of brightest crimson, and carefully sprinkled a few dashes into the boiling mixture.

At that moment, a knock at the door caused her to jump and drop the entire bottle within.

“Celestia spear me with her horn.” She muttered under her breath, before putting on a smile and answering the door. “Twilight, my friend, what brings you this morn?”

“Oh, hello Zecora! I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Twilight glanced in curiously, unable to miss the roiling mess within the cauldron.

“Nothing that needs my attention anymore.” Zecora sighed, waving Twilight inside as she grabbed a potholder to help handle the cauldron. “Tell me, what brings you today to my door?”

“Oh, well, alright.” Twilight gave a sniff of the cauldron, wincing as its now rancid stench stung her nose. “I actually had some questions about your homeland.”

“Oh, Baltimare? A curious query. Well, if you’ve questions, you needn’t tarry.” Zecora busied herself emptying out the cauldron outside, using the opportunity to conceal her smirk.

“B-Baltimare?” Twilight floundered, glancing around as though seeking a book to consult. “I thought… I mean…”

“That I was a native of zebra soil?” Zecora chuckled as she returned, stashing the cauldron and retrieving a teapot. “That in savannahs I walked and daily did toil?”

“Well, um, yes, but…” Twilight continued to flush crimson, her eyes settling around her hooves. “I guess that was kind of presumptuous of me.”

“Perhaps it was, but you needn’t fret. Your intuition isn’t wrong yet.” She smiled as Twilight stared on in confusion, watching as she puzzled it out.

“Wait, you mean you’re not from Baltimare?” Twilight tilted her head, scratching at it.

“Indeed I am not, you are correct. Now, why would I lie? What cause do you detect?” She continued to watch as Twilight’s expression became one of intense concentration.

“Because…” Twilight rubbed her chin, her eyes focused somewhere in the infinite distance. A moment later, she popped up in excitement. “Oh! It wasn’t smart of me to assume that you were a foreigner?”

“Yes Twilight, once more we speak of the book and cover. I might have taken offense, were I some other.” Smiling, Zecora stood up and returned to her shelves. “Now, enough about lessons in class. You had a question you were wishing to ask?”

“Oh, yes!” Twilight’s abashment instantly faded, replaced with cheerful enthusiasm. “I was reading up about shamanistic traditions, and well…” She flashed her horn, conjuring a hefty tome out of the ether. “Maybe I’m just consulting the wrong literature, but I can’t find anything about rhyming in them.”

“Oh, that’s no mistake, your book is right. You’ll find no rhymes, try as you might.” As she spoke, her expression grew sad, almost wistful, and she found herself hesitating beside the tea. “My reasons are mine, and mine alone. A method through which I’ve been forced to atone.”

“Atone?” Twilight blanched, immediately banishing her book back to whence it came. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

“No, no, it’s quite alright. I suppose somepony would ask, try as I might.” She finally selected a vial off her shelf, sprinkling dark green leaves within a loose tea strainer. “Would you care for some tea? I was planning on kale. If you’re willing to sit, I can tell you the tale.”

“Really? I mean, if I’m not overstepping my bounds, I’d really like to learn more about you.” Twilight glanced towards the door, and almost rose, but found Zecora’s hoof on her withers.

“No, please, you’re welcome to stay. It’s a tale I should tell, if you’ll hear what I say.” She set the tea sieve into the pot, and sat across from Twilight.

“Well, if you want to tell, then of course I’ll listen!” Twilight quickly conjured a notebook into existence, then thought better of it and banished it back. “Sorry.”

“Fear not, my friend, it’s habit, I know. They do die hard, it goes to show.” Nodding solemnly, she took a deep breath. “My tale begins in my home of old. Of which, I admit, I’ve little told. Tis a land of grass and sand and sun. Of much hard work, and not as much fun.” She smiled for a moment, wistful. “Still, it was home, and what I know is this: for good or for bad, it’s a place that I miss.”

Zecora paused to pour them both tea, Twilight still listening intently.

“As a filly I was no shaman’s choice. I was brash and sly, but worst of all was my voice. My tongue was pure silver, and sharp as a blade. By the time I was a mare, oh the enemies I’d made.”

“Really? I mean…” Twilight floundered for a moment. “That doesn’t seem anything like you.”

“Is that so? Am I not clever and smart? Were I to try, would my jabs not all smart?” Leaving Twilight to mull that over, she stood to fetch cups for them both, filling each with pale green brew.

“Yes, I suppose I could see that. But it just seems so unlike you. You’re probably one of the kindest ponies I know.” Twilight carefully accepted her cup, and slowly took a sip.

“Indeed that is true, for the lessons I’ve learned. My kindness is not a gift, but something I’ve earned.” She took a sip of her own, then continued. “As I was saying, I was a terrible fiend. My foes found themselves ever shamed and demeaned. Even the chieftain had fear of my wit, for my words were my arrows, and my mark I would hit. I cared not for matters of justice and fair play, only for the next fool to get in my way.” She grew silent, but just as Twilight began to move, she resumed. “One day, when I was seeking out my next prey, it happened a shaman crossed over my way. I heckled her dress, bemoaned her gait, I even, for shame, criticized her weight.” Oddly, Zecora began to smile. “But for my sleights, she did not care. To her they were nothing but so much hot air. Of course her indifference filled me with hate, and my endless jabbing I refused to abate. An entire week I spent hurtling hurts, even spending nights perched outside of her yurt. When my voice had grown hoarse, and yet still I railed, she turned to me, her smile showing I’d failed. She said, ‘Child, can’t you see, you’re wasting your time, perhaps you’d learn better speaking in rhyme.’”

“So, you took her advice?” Twilight hazarded.

“Took, not so much, but received, most yes, for it seems she placed me under quite a cruel jest. When next I opened my mouth to talk, I found I could do naught but squawk. After some dismay, I discovered in time, that I could only speak if my words were in rhyme.” Zecora’s expression grew pained. “It was a harrowing lesson, and one I learned fast. Robbed of free speech, my foes fear soon passed. Now they could torment me with fearless abandon, while I could barely mutter how much that I damned them.”

“That’s horrible!” Twilight cried. “How could she just curse someone like that!”

“Were you not listening? It was brought on myself. If not for her, I’d live yet in ill health. Laid low at last, I finally had to consider, the effect of my words, and what harm they brought hither. In time, I learned to speak well once more, this time more careful of whose egos I’d score. From there my life changed sharply its path, choosing insight over my youth’s callous wrath. Thus grown, I found the shaman again, and asked her to teach me as she had back then.” Zecora smiled, and finally set down her tea. “And that is the tale of my onetime curse, the tail of the zebra, and her patterns of verse.”

“Wow. So, you mean to say, you must speak in verse even to this day?” Twilight blinked, then blushed. “Huh, that’s really infectious.”

“No, Twilight, rest assured, my curse is gone, its weight endured.” She shook her head. “This manner of speech is a gesture towards the one who taught me to watch for my words.”

“Huh.” Twilight could only sit in quiet contemplation. “That really wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“Life rarely is, my young friend, but if you’ll excuse me, I’ve matters to attend.” She stood, and offered her hoof to Twilight. “Another day, I’ll tell you of home, but time is out, when it comes to my own.”

“Oh, of course. I have things I should be doing as well.” Twilight smiled, and faltered a moment, hugged Zecora. “And-- thank you for sharing with me.”

Zecora started a moment, then returned the hug. “Of course, it was a pleasure as well. I’m glad for my friends, and my stories to tell.”

Comments ( 36 )

Great story!

Laid low at last, I finally had to consider, the effect of my words, and what they harm they brought hither.

I think you should delete the first they in that sentence: "what harm they brought hither".

6025322 Thanks for the catch. Two editing cycles and nobody caught that XD

Nice read and head-canon! You know you've written something good when people want to read it again.

~Squiggle-Squiggle~

Fantastic! We always need more Zecora.

This is certainly a twist in the tale of Zecora. Don't know why but this remind me of a Doctor Whooves FimFic called "along came the spider". It featured young zecora growing up from a brash kid to a wise shaman in the end.

Sorry to say that this one didn't work for me. I had to stop halfway. When it's directly about Zecora's speech but fails the Zecora Test, it's very hard for me to read.

Poetry is about rhythm as much as rhyme. She speaks in rhyming couplets, which means two lines with the same structure back to back. A certain amount of flexibility goes into spoken off-the-cuff rhyming, but here you've got one of your lines is literally twice as many syllables as the other:

No, no, it’s quite alright. I suppose somepony would ask, try as I might.

And the structure of those couplets is at least as important as the length. There's no pattern of stresses in the speech, even though she speaks in iambic meter (see my review of "Ode to Change" in this comment for the fifteen-second version: the three-second version is, dit-DAH dit-DAH dit-DAH).

Finally, lines like "That in savannahs I walked and daily did toil?" … there's just got to be a more natural way to phrase that. If you're stretching that much for a rhyme, there's got to be a better one to use. Ugh.

“Oh, Baltimare? A curious query. Well, if you’ve questions, you needn’t tarry.”

I do like this (though the meter still stumbles: e.g. "CUR•i•OUS QUER•y"). Baltimare's a nice jab back at Twilight and the slant rhyme is actually kind of clever.

Anyway, better luck with the next one.

6025853
Absolutely. I think it's the rhyming that puts a lot of authors off. But more than that, she's a fairly well balanced character, so it's tough to write a journey for her. Most characters have a fault or such that they can battle to overcome, but Zecora is so wise, and her past such a mystery, that we don't have a lot to work with.


6026118
I think I saw that one, once upon a fimfic search.

I remember a year or two back when I got on a Zecora fic kick. No one seemed to be able to get her to sound... well, like her. Just because a sentence rhymes, does not mean it works for anything she'd say.

You are not one of those writers. You are perhaps one of the first to actually have every line sound and feel like one of my favorite characters. Bravo on taking the risk and doing wonders.

6026454 So that story was your inspiration for this?

A comment right here, I give you a beer. This story you've written has left me quite smitten!

6026695 Oh! No, haha. I mean the name seems familiar to me, but I'm not really a follower of the Dr.Whooves sub-fandom. Maybe I should give it a glance.

“Celestia spear me with her horn.” She muttered under her breath, before putting on a smile and answering the door. “Twilight, my friend, what brings you this morn?”

Twilight looked suspicious, "Did you say something vulgar in the first half of that couplet?"

“Oh! It wasn’t smart of me to assume that you were a foreigner?”

I don't know about that; it's not crazy to think that someone with an accent grew up in a foreign country. Also, how did Baltimare work? Was there an equally creepy forest on the outskirts for her to hide and be ostracized in?

6028793
Not entirely crazy, true, but I always wanted to play around with the idea the Zecora grew up somewhere totally mundane. Would be a cute twist.

I like it. Nice work, rhymes are tricky. A quick query...

When next I opened my mouth to talk, I found I could do naught but squack.

I feel like you mean squawk at the end there, but correct me if it's intentional. :twilightblush:

6030213 Gah! I've been trying to remember the correct spelling of that for AGES. THANK YOU.

6025411 Cool story! How did you get the rhyming down?

6026454

Doesn't stop many of them from butchering Celestia, so I'm more inclined to believe it's the rhyming that puts off most people, and the more in-depth thinkers amongst the authors have trouble finding some hurdle for Zecora to overcome when she's already so wise and well-traveled. Which I must assume is the truth because Lauren Faust meant for her to be Twilight's mentor in Ponyville, taking over for Celestia while Twilight wasn't in Canterlot.

Truly great :raritystarry:
You really wrote a great Zecora there, the story is also very nice and feels fitting, but I simply admire the feat of creating so much good rhymes a little more. :twilightsmile:

This deserves mad props. The rhyming in this really comes off as true to character without sounding forced.

.... And then someone wrote a rhyming Zecora and let it look like it was not much of an effort.
If I remember the ... three or four lines I gave her back in one of my stories. Tinkering for eternities just to make it sound less-then-terrible.

Kudos. You, dear Sir or Madam, are a genius.

My like for this nice story. My fav for the excellent rhyming. And this handy moustache for the twists you waved in Zecoras Background. :moustache:

I have a feeling that by Monday this will be atleast in the top 100 best stories on the site.

VGI

The author, and the editor too, probably, are both rhyme masters.

Or they worked hard on her dialogues. Dang. I've only managed a line or two for Zecora in my stories.

Well written. Thumbs upping and shelving.

A very interesting tale and well written story this was indeed. A nice little read before going to sleep where my imagination bleeds.

Zecora seems extremely difficult to write for by some, and I am one of them.

Sir Crabington Seal of Approval!

6042313 Your crab has a top hat and a cane.
I approve. Jolly good, sir shellman.

Loved this! And you did really well on Zecora's dialogue- that rhyming is hard to write!

Beautiful! Perfect Zecora is perfect. Have a fav!

This was well wrote, you got Zecora with every note. Keep up the good work, for other eyes still lurk.:twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Okay, no, but where's she from really? c.c

Nice work I don't think I'd be able to come up with that many rhymes

Such a great and simple story. And yes - rhyming is really hard.
Definitely 5 out of 5 and to my favourites.

Zecora: Hey Shaman-lady! Your dress is ugly!

Shaman: ...

Zecora: You have weird knees!

Shaman: ...

Zecora: You fat as hell!

Shaman: ...

Zecora: You got a dumb voice!

Shaman: NO U.

Zecora: *Screams in rhyme*

Well this has been Jossed.

10486225
Shhhh, the creators are wrong.

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