The Amazing Chase

by Twyla In Wonderland

Chapter One.

9PM

Applejack slowly opened the door to Rarity's bedroom. She was surprised at the sudden invitation that she received from Rarity that morning. She spots her working away with her cat laying on her bed.

"Howdy Rarity, you wanted to see me?" Applejack asked as she nodded.

"Yes. I'm sorry that you couldn't spend time with the family, but everypony else was busy." Rarity said sounding guilty.

"It's not a problem sugar. Applebloom, and Granny Smith are in Manehattan with Babs Seed I didn't want to go. As for Big Macintosh he is in Appleoosa which I really didn't want to spend the holiday there. So I'm staying in Ponyville." Applejack said as Rarity smiled.

"Well I need to measure you this won't take long." Rarity said.

Applejack watched the mare as she came close to her flank.

"Sorry Applejack." Rarity said looking embarrassed.

"It's alright." With that Rarity moved along her body, and measured her legs.

"I'm done, would you mind just sitting down please?" Rarity asked.

"Actually Sugar, I need to use the bathroom." Applejack said as Rarity nodded.

"Third door on your left."

Applejack walked out of Rarity's room, and into the hallway, pictures of her Ex boyfriends.

Why would Rarity keep these pictures up? Applejack thought to herself.

She made it into the bathroom. About 3 minutes went by, and Applejack was making her way back through the corridor, and into the bedroom.

"Sorry I took so long Rarity I..." Applejack stopped.

Rarity was laying on the floor, and a sewing machine next to her. Blood slowly running down the side of her head.

"Rarity?!" Applejack said running up to her.

Applejack rolled her over, and at the bottom of her horn were a large gash. The corner of the machine were covered in blood.

"The shelf must have broken." Applejack said to herself looking at the cabinet.

She were right the top shelf broke. Applejack got underneath Rarity, and picked her up. Applejack trotted over to Rarity's bed, and placed her down.

Right I need to stitch that wound up. Applejack thought looking around for a first aid kit.

Applejack's eyes scanned the bedroom. At the top of the cabinet a first aid kit.

How in Equestira do I get that? Applejack thought as there was a loud bang then a cry for Rarity.

"RARITY!"

Applejack walked out of the room.

"What's wrong Sweetie Belle?" Applejack shouted.

"Applejack? Where's Rarity!"

"She has had an....Fallen asleep." Applejack lied.

"Well can you help me!"

"What do you need." Applejack said.

"Come in my room!"

Applejack walked down the corridor, and slowly opened Sweetie Belle's room door. Sweet perfume over whelmed her nose.

"Celestia dammit Sweetie Belle. Why do you need....need." Applejack stopped.

"Twilight did it." Sweetie said as Applejack kept staring.

"Sweetie Belle...Full grown mare....You look beautiful." Applejack said.

Sweetie stomped her hoof down. "Stop staring Applejack!"

"Sorry." Applejack said looking down.

"Get Twilight!"

"I'm busy Sweetie Belle." Applejack said walking out of the room still looking down.

"GET BACK HERE APPLEJACK!" Sweetie Belle shouted.

"Twilight!" Applejack said as she ran upstairs.

"Where is Sweetie Belle?"

"In her room." Twilight ran in as Applejack hurried back into Rarity's room.

Rarity was still asleep, and the blood stained her bed sheets.

Really. Applejack walked over the the cabinet, and bucked it.

The cabinet shock at first, but finally the First Aid kit fell down next to Applejack. She picked it up, and dashed to Rarity.

Time to fix this. Applejack thought while getting a needle, and thread out.

... 5 minutes later ...

Applejack bit the thread, and it snapped in half. Rarity's head were fully stitched up, and Sheets new and blood free. She climbed in next to Rarity as the moon's embrace shun through Rarity's window, and the cold night's wind blew gently through the open window. Applejack gold hold of Rarity's phone, and called the Ponyville hospital. Both ponies were brought down to the hospital 10 minutes later.

"Dr Septic, Applejack said that she stitched the open gash to pervert anymore blood loss." Nurse Cutiepie said as Dr Septic nodded.

"Great. Where the ponies now?" He asked.

"Room 450." Cutiepie said as they headed off.

Arriving Dr Septic flew into the room to find something so sweet he had to stop, and drop everything.

Rarity laying down on the bed with a bandage, and Applejack next to her asleep leaning on the bed.

"Make sure Rarity is fine then leave the two. Don't wake Applejack up." Dr Septic said as Cutiepie walked in.

She finished checking on Rarity after 20 minutes, and walked out of the room.

... 3AM ...

Rarity woke up as the gentle breeze of the wind brushed by her mane. The first thing she felt was an incredible headache. She looked down to her left side only to find Applejack fast asleep.

How long have I been here? Rarity thought as Applejack opened her eye.

"Feeling better Sugar?" Applejack asked yawning afterwards.

"What happened?" Rarity asked.

Applejack sat up from the bed, and stretched. "The top shelf broke, and a sewing machine cracked you on your head under your horn."

"That explains the splitting headache, but why did you come down? You really didn't have to." Rarity asked.

"I was worried about ya." Applejack said as Rarity blushed, and Applejack noticed.

"Thank you." Rarity said rolling over to hide her blush.

"You don't have to hide. Iv'e noticed." Applejack said as Rarity rolled back over.

"You've been asleep on a chair why don't you get in next to me?" Rarity asked moving over as Applejack nodded.

She climbed into the bed with Rarity, and looked into her sapphire blue eyes.

"Twilight turned Sweetie Belle into a full grown mare yesterday." Applejack said as Rarity giggled.

"Let me guess. You stared, and possibly said she looks beautiful or something." Rarity said as Applejack looked guilty.

"You did. Didn't you."

"Yeah."

Rarity let out a faint laugh, and moved over to Applejack.

"I wanted to tell you something, Applejack." Rarity said as Applejack's ears pricked up.

"Fire away." Applejack said as Rarity took a deep breath.

"Do you remember the hue storm that the weather team had to sort out, and Twilight invited us for a slumber party." Rarity said

"Yeah we really had our disagreements all through the night until that tree crashed through the window." Applejack said.

"I...I" Rarity had a bright red face.

"Love you." Applejack said as Rarity looked up as Applejack kissed her.

"Mmhm."

The kiss was powerful. Softly. Lovingly. They breathed their souls and their love into each other in that kiss. That kiss. Hard, but soft. Fiery, but cool. A split second but also forever in that one kiss, Rarity knew that
she had feelings for the farm pony. The heat between their lips made a moan escape Applejack's lips. She breathed heavily as their tongues grazed each other. Rarity felt the hot friction between her and Applejack become
unbearable each second, the way her lips connected with Rarity’s. It was right, and somehow, among all of the dizziness and the clinging to her like a life line, something inside Rarity changed, never to be reversed.
This new feeling could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, Rarity was content to feel Applejack’s breath come and go with her. Applejack pulled away smiling.

"Wow Apple...Jack." Rarity said between breaths.

"I need to tell you a secret." Applejack said as Rarity looked.

"What is it." Rarity said.

"I've loved you since I got to know ya." Applejack said looking down. "I thought you were a super high class unicorn that wouldn't pay any attention to a simple farm pony like ma self."

"I have two things to tell you." Rarity said. " I've loved you since Twilight came into town 3 years ago, and Spike having a crush on me was too much. I started dating loser guys to get your attention."

"What about the second secret?" Applejack said moving closer to Rarity.

"Soon as I get home alone, I'm a huge nerd I confess. Just a goofy awkward mess." Rarity said as Applejack looked at her.

"Really."

"Yeah." Rarity looked around, and spotted her bag.

"I have these."

Rarity pulled out thick glasses black with purple tint.

"Put them on?" Applejack asked.

"I'm not at home. You would laugh."

"No I wouldn't." She said.

"Applejack dear. I know you. You would laugh don't deny it." Rarity said looking at her.

"For Celestia's sake Rarity put them on." Applejack said as Rarity sighed.

"Fine." Rarity places the glasses on as Applejack stared.

"What." Rarity said.

"I...I..." Applejack couldn't find her words.

"I told you." Rarity said taking them off.

"No, put them back on you look cute." Applejack said as she puts the glasses back on.

"Rarity I want you to..." Applejack was cut off as someone walked into the room.

"Miss Rarity. Are you feel.... Bad time?" Nurse Cutiepie said as she nodded.

She slowly walked out as Applejack climbed on top of her.

"I've always wanted to do this." Applejack said kissing her at her neck.

Rarity moaned a little as Applejack moved down to her stomach slowly licking it. Rarity moaned a lot louder then before.

"This had been an amazing chase."

Comments

[Spider8ite]

Cute little one shot, but here's a few things:

... 9PM ...

You could put it like that:

9PM

"Yes. I'm sorry that you couldn't spend time with the family, but everyone else was busy." Rarity said sounding guilty.

Don't ever say "everyone" when writing ponies in Equestria (when writing EG and humanized it's normal). Ponies don't know that word, for them it doesn't exist. Always use everypony.
Now about the formating of it... it's some kind of messed up. Of course I could understand it while I was reading, any person would, but it still weird. A example here:

"It's not a problem sugar. Applebloom, and Granny Smith are in Manehattan with Babs Seed, I didn't want to go, and Big Macintosh is in Appleoosa,
which I really didn't want to spend the holiday there. So I'm staying in Ponyville." Applejack said as Rarity smiled.

You can't simply go to another line when you writing the same sentence from the same character. It would be better like that:

"It's not a problem sugar. Applebloom and Granny Smith are in Manehattan with Babs Seed, I didn't want to go and Big Macintosh is in Appleoosa, I really didn't want to spend the holiday there. So I'm staying in Ponyville." Applejack said as Rarity smiled.

Your use of commas is not really the best. My only hint for you is to find a editor. But it was a lil' cute story and I like it, good work!

[Twyla In Wonderland]

6032756 Sorry about that. You see I normally write on notepad as a start then I hate it when everything is stretched out to I start new lines. I will sort it out.

[bjorn2345]

Didn't make it past the first paragraph. Please get an editor or at least read what you write back to yourself to see if it sounds correct.

[Twyla In Wonderland]

6033592 Is that better? (Was is just the first paragraph.)

[Frizzy]

What? Everything happened so fast, and I don't know what happened with Sweetie Belle. Why was Twilight there?

[Twyla In Wonderland]

6035070 Sweetie Belle, and Twilight was only to make the story a little longer, but if you want to know. Twilight was practicing age spells, and hit Sweetie Belle by accident that's why she was a full grown mare, and Twilight was there to fix the spell.

[Dan-Dan-Dani]

[I'm a huge nerd I confess. Just a goofy awkward mess]
Oh? *gets into the Thinking Man position and...thinks*

[Rarity pulled out thick glasses black with purple tint]
*thinking intensifies*

Now all I think of now is Vinyl Scratch and All About that Bass Cannon

Despite my mind drifting away from the main storyline for a moment during that part, this was a fun little read

AJ's reaction to Sweetie, I lol'd

Now I give you this here lil' apple horse http://files.gamebanana.com/img/ico/sprays/51d16fb4bdbf3.gif

[AppleDashislife]

Please... Please... Add more detail.

The last sentence didn't even make sense, when were they ever chasing each other?! Why was twilight even at the carousel boutique? Why did you even mention Sweetie Belle at all?! It just doesn't make sense. Please excuse me for yelling, I just...don't like to see writing like this. I don't mean to come off as mean, but please rewrite this.

[Twyla In Wonderland]

6603053 When I get the chance I'll rewrite this story, but it's one of my first stories so it is gonna be shit. Just wait until I've finished my new story then I'll rewrite this one

[AppleDashislife]

6603987 I am sorry I don't mean to be mean I should never had said any of that. It wasn't my place, I hope you can forgive me. It does show a lot of promise though.

With much regret for what was said, AppleDash.

[Twyla In Wonderland]

6604212 It's fine