• Published 22nd May 2015
  • 7,449 Views, 231 Comments

The Elements Of Elements - Estee



Six Elements of Harmony. One hundred and eighteen Elements of the Periodic Table. Let's see who blinks first.

  • ...
9
 231
 7,449

The Old Problem (Celestia, Luna)

"...and now the new Protoceran ambassador wants a private tour of the butcher shop! With me at his side the whole time. I swear, Luna, I don't know if this is a sincere desire to congratulate Mr. Gristle on managing to establish the place in the heart of Canterlot or just an attempt to prove himself above me in the dominance chain by making sure I accompany him and proving he can stay in there a lot longer than he believes I can..." Celestia slowly shook her head, ignoring the statuary in the castle alcoves in favor of a (inner) vision which she'd only gone over six times instead of something approaching six digits. "There has to be a way to cast a hidden air purification spell, right? Because even if a griffon can't feel the magic, he might notice a change in the airflow if I keep shifting most of the atmosphere away from me..."

A faint scraping noise made its tentative way down the hallway, unsure of its place in potentially interrupting the evening trot-and-talk. There were times when the sisters needed to give each other little briefings, tiny nuggets of knowledge to be passed between Night and Day. In the deep past, they had often left each other notes. For the modern age... seconds used for reading words was time not being spent in each other's company, and so they went on an instinctive tour of a structure for which the elder had gone beyond mere memorization and the younger was still trying to find out where all of the best semi-recently added hiding spots were.

"I am unaware," Luna replied from a place just a little too far behind her sister, something Celestia hadn't caught on to yet: the elder was far too self-distracted from the stresses of a too-long day and had yet to pick up on how carefully her sibling was moving, the continuing dropback, all the little pauses and scrapings and shivers, in part because Luna was being so very careful about hiding every last tenth-bit of it. "And since you are consulting me on the issue, I can presume the Archives had no entry on the subject." The same noise, only with a little more weight behind it -- followed by a faint, mostly-stifled gasp of all-too-temporary relief. "But think back to your battle training, sister: find something with a different, long-lasting odor and apply a few drops of it under your nostrils. We used bay leaf more than once, as I recall, and the scents should not mix... too..."

The trailing hoofsteps dropped further back. Stopped completely. The scraping sound, as far as levels of attention-seeking were concerned, went from an accidental waft of breath against fur to a full hoof-tap against a ticklish spot. But the decibels of momentary comfort did not follow, and so stone shifted as something more than normal earth pony strength was brought to bear against it. Rocked...

...and the echo, satisfied that it had the floor, took its sweet time before departing.

Celestia slowly turned. Luna was four body lengths behind her, frozen next to the alcove which had once held a not-particularly-objectionable statue representing the final meeting at the Treaty Of Menagerie. It now contained something rather similar, only considerably more scattered and with a few strands of blue fur providing an unexpectedly artistic contrast.

"What just happened?" As questions went, Celestia felt it was a fairly simple one, with no unexpected complications visible on the answer horizon.

Luna twitched, and the only reason it wasn't a spasm was the tremendous, all-too-visible effort which kept the reaction down to a full-body shift, approximately six tail strands to the left.

"I... tripped."

"Tripped." Not a question at all.

"Yes," Luna steadily replied, or at least as steadily as she could with semi-tangible tail trying to lash against her entire body at once, which was accomplishing absolutely nothing. "Tripped. As you are well aware, I have four legs. When a pony is especially tired, as I happen to be after once again being shortchanged on sleep, it is a number which virtually guarantees the occasional tangle --"

The dark eyes slowly went to the right, eventually locating the new subject of Celestia's steady gaze. The elder was looking at the shed fur, and just about nothing else.

Luna twitched again. This one had more of an anticipatory note to it.

"Oh, Luna," Celestia sighed. "The old problem?"

"No." The reply had been immediate, something more than insistent and, incidentally, was also a completely obvious lie.

"We can take care of it right now," Celestia gently smiled, or at least as gently as she could manage while silently preparing every resource she had for the chase. "I can stay awake for a few more hours, and I'm --" carefully "-- almost sure I remember where..."

Nearly every successive word which had been waiting for birth perished under the weight of Luna's dark stare. Celestia sorted through the bodies in a desperate search for survivors and found but one.

"Um," Celestia said.

"You were," Luna slowly said, "about to say you remembered where you put the chains. Would that be correct?" Her wings were half-flared. All four non-tangled legs were braced to charge, and Celestia couldn't tell in which direction. The horn hadn't ignited yet, but at the moment, that last part seemed to be a matter of time.

A second trembling hoof poked out from the mound of verbal corpses. "...yes?"

"No."

Reinforcements arrived and, just to save time, set up in front of the overflowing triage station. "Luna, we have to take care of it right now, before it gets any worse. You're almost up against the wall already, I can see you trying not to rub, and you know what happens when you stall, I remember, and..."

"It has been," Luna forced through grinding teeth, "a long time. But not long enough for me to forget how the supposed and short-term thing which you laughably consider to be a cure...."

"Not long enough for me to forget," Celestia quickly kicked the words in, watching them bleed out in front of her. "Not long enough for me not to remember how much you suffered. Luna, please, we just have to -- get it over with. You know you'll feel better afterwards..."

Starkly, "After the chains."

There was only one volunteer left for the verbal charge, and it had already written its will. "...yes."

"It has not been long enough for me to forget that."

They looked at each other for a while. More twitching got involved, with some of them from Celestia as she tried to figure out which way to move first and found her own body trying to beat her to it.

The fallen statue attempted to contribute, but the tiny impact of what had once been a stone scroll didn't have much to add.

Openly pleading now. "Luna -- it's the only way."

Her sister blinked.

"Is it?"

There had been more curiosity than distraction tactic in the tone, and so Celestia listened, still very prepared to be extremely wrong.

"A long time," Luna repeated. "Long enough for things to -- progress. Perhaps... there might be another option now? I am willing to investigate, sister, especially if it means leaving the chains to rust in peace."

"Another option..." Celestia considered. Things had advanced...

"Which we will investigate... in the morning," the younger proposed.

"We can wake them right now," Celestia reminded her. "It's their job, Luna, it's why we kept them on -- because they can be trusted, and -- "

"-- they are difficult enough to understand when they are fully awake. I can withstand another night of this in hopes of a more capable diagnosis."

More staring.

"You won't run?"

"I will not run." The unspoken 'yet' was the loudest word.

"And if they don't... have anything?"

There was no vocal answer, and after a full minute, it seemed there never would be.

Celestia tried to remember how the teleport tracer spell worked. Then she tried to remember if the teleport tracer spell worked, followed by successfully bringing back the recollections of every last time it hadn't.

"All right," the elder finally said. "Morning."

Luna nodded. And they resumed their trip down the hallway, with the younger now openly rubbing her flanks against most of it.


The diagnosis took four seconds.

"Artemis verifoma," Doctor Vanilla Bear told them. The white head quickly turned away from the lens which had been magnifying the view of Luna's fur sample, and the diagnostician among the Royal Physicians smiled. (The rapid movement failed to shift the ridiculously-thick mane. Nothing ever did.) "And I was worried that it would be something important!"

Luna twitched, which mostly substituted for the partially-suppressed snarl.

Chocolate Bear's field exerted, and several delicate pieces of medical equipment were evacuated towards the ceiling. "Not that this isn't important, Princess!" the bulkier of the two unicorn stallions rapidly interjected. "Any problem of yours is our top concern! Unless there's another problem with your sister at the same time --- which isn't to say she's more important than you are -- or that... we can't..." Helpless brown eyes darted towards his partner. "...prioritize...?"

"Are you trying to get us fired?" Vanilla Bear hissed. The attempt at private communication went about as well as it ever did: not at all.

"No! I'm just trying to point out that we have a duty to both of them, and it just happens that Princess Luna needs our help today!"

"But what if it came down to both at once?" a suddenly-frazzled Vanilla asked. (None of that touched the mane either.) "How are we supposed to choose?"

"By medical priorities, as always!" Chocolate shot back. "Most critical condition first!"

"And if it's identical?" Vanilla neurotically drove on, sweat beginning to soak both coat and garment. "If both of them had the same disease or wound at the same moment? We only have time to treat one, the entire world depends on our getting it right, and we -- we would have to..."

His head tilted up, and slightly to the right.

Celestia took a moment to enjoy the silence and, in the name of efficiency, also used it for repressing the sigh. "And he's gone," she observed. "So, Doctor Bear --" this towards the still alert and very nervous surgeon, "-- the old problem actually has a name now..."

"Never mind the name," Luna twitched. "I much prefer those I cursed it by. Does it have a treatment?"

Chocolate -- smiled. It was a sincere one, and the total relief which beamed from every bright tooth only added to the sudden lightening of the atmosphere. "Yes."

Celestia's posture shed several thousand bales of burden and the prospect of one cross-continent pursuit. Luna wasn't quite as ready to commit yet. "A simple one, Doctor? Something which does not involve -- extreme measures?"

"There's almost nothing easier," Chocolate reassured them, "Honestly, Princesses, it's become a more common issue among the populace over the years. The more cases we had, the more we could use to test possible cures. After a while, we had something standardized. Other than size and skin area, I'm sure there won't be any issues with an alicorn body, not with all three races going through the same condition and the treatment working equally for all!"

"This has happened to another ponies?" Celestia asked, openly surprised. "How many?"

"Vanilla would know the numbers better than I would," Chocolate said, "but it's not exactly an epidemic. It's just one of the consequences from having more ponies active during the night."

"...oh?" Luna carefully asked. Far too carefully.

Chocolate was too lost in the joy of Problem Solved (and Perceived Exile Averted) to notice. "Oh, it's a nasty little rash -- a minor fungal infection, really -- but it can be cured! If you want proof, it's standing right in front of you! I had it myself when I was an intern and got stuck on the Lunar shift for six moons! You see, it only develops in ponies whose skin doesn't get enough exposure to sunlight --"

The temperature in the private office dropped by eight degrees. Ice coated every hovering instrument. Chocolate Bear found his jaw frozen open with hooves ice-bound to the floor, but only metaphorically.

"Sunlight," Luna softly said.

Most of the surgeon's decibels had entered exile ahead of him. "...yes..."

"So the treatment -- is to be exposed to sunlight -- for some period of time?" Volume and temperature were dropping in concert now, and the race to see which reached absolute zero first would come down to the nose. "What would that period be, Doctor? Days? Weeks? Moons spent under Sun, with my schedule overturned in order to allow Sun to dapple my coat, with the itch of a minor fungal infection compared to the ever-increasing --"

"-- it's a cream!"

Celestia's field, which had been busy with both clearing the ice and propping the surgeon up, flickered slightly. "A cream? That's it?"

"Selenium-based!" Chocolate Bear gasped. "Rub it on the affected areas twice a night! Leave it there for ten minutes and then rinse it off! Repeat until cured! There's a -- little bit of a scent to deal with... but..."

Luna blinked. "And -- that is all? A simple cream?"

"I can run out and fill the prescription for you in ten minutes!" Chocolate Bear insisted as all four knees sagged into the welcome support of Celestia's warm field. "Fifteen if the lines are long! Eight if I tell them it's for -- okay, I won't tell them who it's for, I know you want to keep this private, even if ponies might -- well, they're going to pick up on the --"

"-- a cream..." Luna cut in. "That is truly all there is to the treatment? Selenium against the skin?"

A nod. The stubble from the shaved mane shifted more than his partner's construct ever had.

Luna smiled.

"The wonders of the modern age," she said, "can be rather smaller than advertised -- and all the more wondrous for it. Write your prescription, Doctor Bear. I look forward --" a glance at Celestia "-- to my first dose. How long until I feel relief? Will my Open Palace session this evening be tolerable, at least in physical comfort?"

"The rash itself won't clear immediately," Chocolate shakily said. "But the itching will be mostly suppressed at the first use, and it'll get even better after. Trust me, Princess -- trust us. We know what we're doing. And I'm sure you can deal with the... well, I told you, there's a... scent..."

"Yes, you do seem to be proving yourself capable once again," a half-rapture-lost Luna happily agreed, and rubbed her right flank against the hyper-raised examination bench. "To the waiting room, then..."

Celestia turned to follow. They both heard the subtle sound of an overly-coiffured mane shifting down and to the left, although only because the head which somehow managed to take its weight it had moved.

"...but where would we even start looking for the Bearer of Coin-Flipping?" Vanilla asked the universe.

They ignored him.


They were standing at the edge of Luna's bath (or at least, one was). The cream had been applied, with both sisters taking part in the coating: it was always a little tricky to use one's field on any part of the body which couldn't be directly seen, and even with the siblings at mutual labor, some very awkward twisting had been involved.

"Seven minutes, Luna." It was all Celestia was willing to risk.

"There is... something of a burning sensation," Luna thoughtfully said. "A very mild one, as if one's skin had somehow just tasted a rather weak specimen of pepper. I suppose that could not be entirely escaped. Still... it is so much better than the chains..."

Celestia smiled. "I'm glad you thought to ask," she told her sister, and then went back to holding her breath, right up until she decided another quick sentence was needed. "I never enjoyed using them, you know that..."

Luna snorted. "What value of 'enjoy' are we measuring to, Tia? Every equation I can work has your statement falling somewhat short of truth..." She twitched, but even that had begun to ease over the course of the first treatment.

"I didn't." How much oxygen could she take in through her mouth without Luna noticing?

"I have a distinct recollection of your expression. I had a very long experience of it while I was bound. Several times."

"Luna, I never --"

"-- you have a very subtle smirk, do you know that? I suspect most ponies never notice it at all. But for one who shared a bedroom with it..."

"I didn't."

The younger shrugged, and the "As you say," was merry. Foresight had peered into the future and found a horizon without a single shadow cast from hard-forged links. "Hmm... Tia, from where you stand, do you detect something of -- that scent we were warned of?"

"No," Celestia lied.

"And from where you are standing now?"

"No."

"I ask because you have backed up approximately six body lengths since we began."

"Nothing, Luna."

"Seven body lengths." She took a deep breath, then quickly let it go. "Is that the selenium, do you think?"

"I couldn't say," Celestia replied, trying to hold ground while failing to convince herself that her subtle mouth-breathing wasn't coating her own tongue with the stuff.

"It probably is," Luna decided. "So it has a scent. Interesting. Memorable, to use the kindest of words. Well, I can stand that better than the chains as well."

Celestia nodded.

"Odd how it seems to get stronger over time," Luna mused. "Not that it matters, as it will be rinsed away in a minute or so. And then to the Open Palace session, where the only agony will come from listening to the stupidities of those who insist on using me as a substitute for civil court judgment..."

Another nod. A minute (or so). She was sure she could hold her breath for that long.

And hold still.

Completely. Still.

"Eight body lengths," Luna noted, and then jumped into the bath.


Luna had yet to find any true enjoyment in her Open Palace sessions. In theory -- or at least, in the sales pitch which Celestia had originally used in getting her to begin hosting them -- they were supposed to bring laughter, joy, revelation, wonders, and a chance to attend the occasional wedding. In reality, they worked out to be an near-endless parade of arbitration sessions with the occasional bad joke thrown in. Which was still better than winding up with a Real Problem, but it did tend to grate against one's coat after a time (the first three minutes, and not in a way which would ever relieve itching), especially when the doors opened to admit a new disputing pair and she caught sight of the line stretching all the way to the Lunar Courtyard. Possibly beyond.

Tonight's queue had been as bad as any for count, and possibly stupider for complaint. The initial highlight had been two earth ponies, each of whom owned a dog. One male, one female, and that also applied to their companions. The ponies did not get along. The canines had Gotten Along to the point where their Getting had produced one very large, extremely wriggly, and not-at-all-trained puppy, who had demonstrated happiness, affection, and a complete lack of bladder control all over her throne room. The citizens wanted to know which of them she felt it should belong to and, after ten minutes of listening to their mindless reasons as to why she should not choose the other, she'd come very close to proposing they throw it into a mirror pool. Fortunately, that had been the longest single session of the night.

In fact, each session after that had become successively shorter.

Or perhaps progressively.

"And then she..." The green pegasus, who had become increasingly greener since entering, took the tiniest breath it was possible for a pony to use and live. Then she took a smaller one.

"Yes?" Luna asked, false patience well beyond frayed. "What did she do, citizen? In factual detail, please. If only for the change of pace."

"She..." A glance at the trembling wings of the blue mare on her right. "Well, why don't you tell the Princess, Skyvault? They were your actions. You can tell her what they were better than I can!" And held her breath again.

"No, you do it, Elfive," the smaller mare hastily insisted as her coat marched on towards aqua. "You were watching me, right? I don't have eyes outside my head!" Which was all she could do on one breath, and so she took another. Just not for long.

"I trust your memory," Elfive raced.

"I trust yours more!" Skyvault rushed.

Neither one seemed to have a followup.

Luna stared at them. "If my own memory still serves, this was originally about a forgotten debt, yes?"

They both nodded.

"One forgot to pay the other back, and the one who gave the loan supposedly failed to recall the true amount of interest she had requested?"

Again. Their rib cages seemed to be caving inwards.

"And since your recollections are now so clear, is it possible that each remembers all of those facts?"

Even more quickly, with eyes beginning to water.

"Then why do you need to be here?"

They blinked at each other.

"We don't!" both pegasi gasped --

-- which released the last of their oxygen. And neither would take more in.

They mutually broke for the door. They put every bit of collective wingpower they had into leaving the Lunar throne room before their lungs collapsed on themselves. They almost made it.

Luna had the fainted bodies removed. The opening doors wafted a bit of atmosphere into the hallway and cut the line in half again, a process which was beginning to approach fractions.

The doors closed. No Guards announced the next supplicant to the throne. Nopony knocked to be let in, perhaps because doing so would have left that worthy balancing on one-quarter of a hoof.

Luna looked at her Guard. The only one left in the throne room. She had started with four, two of whom were on a wake-up juice break which, given the amount of time since they'd left, seemed to involve growing the necessary plant from seed. The third had declared a sudden requirement to look after her children which, given that the pony making that claim had been Swingshift, also indicated a desperate need to start the necessary pregnancy.

Nightwatch uncertainly looked up at her. Feathers vibrated.

"Princess?"

"Nightwatch," Luna steadily asked, "do you happen to see my wings?" She flared them out slightly, just for greater emphasis.

"...yes?"

"Many ponies," Luna mused, "upon seeing my horn, tend to think of me as being more unicorn than anything else. Sometimes exclusively unicorn. Even with my wings fully visible, that aspect of my being is often disregarded despite the most prominent evidence possible being on constant display. Odd, is it not?"

"...yes," the deep black mare repeated. Silver eyes risked a blink.

"I can trigger lightning, corral storms, redirect wind. None of it matters. Horn, therefore, unicorn. An advantage in a fight, as so few remember to watch for pegasus techniques."

"Yes," Nightwatch risked.

"And you yourself, as my Guard, are aware of my capabilities in that general category of magic, correct?"

"...yes." A little worried this time.

"So you would recognize that I have been able to feel you shifting the local atmosphere away from yourself all night?"

Nightwatch winced.

"Princess..."

"Where are you getting the fresh air? The private feed current was originally pulling from the ceiling, but as the odor has filled that part of the room and possibly every section for my wing of the castle before imposing on the Solar, I cannot readily imagine where you are currently reaching for it, especially with such slight wing movements and minor shifts of feathers..."

"I'm sorry..."

"You are a very talented mare, Nightwatch."

"...thank you."

Luna sighed.

"Is it that bad?"

"Worse."

"One would think the water would have removed the scent."

"Yes."

"And the six kinds of soap I used after the initial rinse."

"Yes."

"Instead, they seem to have merged into something worse. Nightwatch, do you know anypony who has used this cream in the past?"

"Yes, Princess. Some of us... call it Lunar's Disease. We're kind of prone to it if we don't get some Sun on our off-days."

"And how do those ponies deal with the scent?"

"I don't know, Princess."

Patiently, "How would you, knowing ponies who deal with the problem, not be aware of their solution?"

"I... don't talk to them."

"They are not your friends?"

"I can't talk to them while they've locked themselves in their homes for the five to eight days until it's safe to come out. And after that... they don't want to talk about it."

Slowly, Luna closed her eyes.

"Nightwatch?"

"Princess?"

"Go to my bath. There is a rather large bottle near the edge. I am certain you will recognize it. Read the label, then come back to me."

Wings flapped. Atmosphere shifted. Luna tried to track Nightwatch's airfeed again. Then she tried to take it over.

After a while, the doors opened again, then shut rather quickly, mostly from desperate outside pressure.

"I read it," Nightwatch sadly said.

"Good. I believe the Doctors Bear had to recalculate certain factors to account for my body mass and skin surface area. Given that, what did it say for treatment time?"

"Twelve to twenty-three days."

"Oh."

"Or... longer..."


Luna looked at the chains.

"Forehooves first, I think." she sighed, and spread herself out on the floor, barrel flat against the marble. "Then the restraint over my horn, the bindings around my wings, and finally the back legs. Did you at least have the cuffs repadded?"

"As soft as I could make them," Celestia assured her. "Luna, I'm sorry..."

Luna didn't answer. She just presented her hooves for cuffing.

Celestia slowly bound her sister. Secured the far ends of the chains to the heaviest anchors they'd been able to find, rechecked the area to make sure there was nothing which could be damaged and nopony about who could watch. The soundproofing spells were already set up, and would likely need reinforcing about five minutes in. "Luna... are you sure? Now that we have another way..."

"Eleven to twenty-two additional nights of being unable to have anypony near me," Luna too-calmly said, "added to a certain prior duration, would be rather more than I care to deal with at this time. Tighten the restraint, please."

Celestia did, then lowered herself to the floor in front of her sister, as close as she could stand to be. Then she forced herself to shift two body lengths closer.

"When you are ready," Luna said, and closed her eyes.

Celestia's horn ignited. The yellow corona flowed forward, surrounded her sister, coated every last inch of the regalia-free form before the glow intensified.

Then it intensified again.

And again.

The secured area became subtly warmer.

"It itches."

"I know, Luna." A few more lumens were added.

"It is... worse than itching now."

"That means it's working." Did she need to add more? It had been so long, she didn't remember the exact amount of power required... A full double corona, then. Just to be safe. Plus a little more.

"And that would be the burning starting to come in."

Celestia made herself get closer still, stretched out her right foreleg, gently touched a glow-covered shoulder.

"Tia, it hurts..."

Whispering now. "I know, Luna, I know..."

The younger began to twist against the chains. Anchors shuddered. Bindings stretched. Dark sparks flew from the base of the horn restraint.

"And you are smirking!"

"Luna, your eyes are closed..." As they had always been closed.

The first burst of thunder only served as a final underscore of the words. "I can feel it!"

But she did not push the elder's hoof away.