Twilight Sparkle And The Totally Obvious Complete Non-Mystery Of The Seventh Element (Pinkie, Twilight)
One gentle, warm, and oddly quiet early summer day, Pinkie poked her head into the library to find a bored Twilight perched on her bench behind the checkout desk. There were no other ponies present at all: not a single browser, reader, or dedicated misshelver trying to find out how many deliberate mistakes it took to get thrown out and thus hopefully collect the pooled betting money waiting three streets away, presuming he lived that long. Those ponies, with Spike at their side, had looked at the first truly perfect jump-in-the-lake day and then gone off to expend their efforts in that direction, which mostly meant trying not to land on top of each other.
"Twilight, are you busy?" Even more quickly than usual, "I mean, I know it looks like you're not doing anything, but there could always be research on your mind, or you could be working out a spell in your head, and I guess there's always those thought experiment things, but if you aren't, I kind of have a question I have to ask you. Actually, it might be a really-really important question. There's a tiny chance -- really tiny -- maybe I need a smaller word... that it could be the most important question ever... but probably not really..."
Twilight wearily glanced up, blinked away something which had rapidly been approaching sleep. Her eyes didn't make it all the way open on the rebound, but the smile which followed that effort reached the corners of her mouth. "No, Pinkie. It's completely dead in here. What did you need to know?"
Pinkie smiled back -- but the question emerged with surprising caution. "What do you know about the seventh element?"
Twilight blinked again.
"The -- seventh element?"
"Yeah. Everything you might know about it. Because --"
And then Twilight was completely awake.
"I know just about everything about the seventh element!" She practically vaulted her own desk on the way off the bench, came to a full stop one body length in front of Pinkie in a stance which still had her tail vibrating with excitement. "And for you to be asking... about that of all things -- it's really important to you, isn't it? Even really-really important!"
"Yeah! Because there's some ponies --"
"Well, just for starters, did you know it makes up most of the atmosphere? I know everypony focuses on what we actually use, but the majority is that element! And it doesn't seem to be doing any harm. In fact, some scientists think plants get some benefit from it. I know they take in carbon dioxide for their breathing, but there's these little nodules along some of the roots and we think they're processing -- well, it's not really my area of study, but when it comes to the elements, you just can't go wrong with a foundation in the basics!"
"Twilight?"
But listening had been overridden. Lecturing had the floor.
"We don't do so well with it, though. I mean ponies. You know those experimental diving spells some ponies have been working on? Well, it turns out that when you take all the air and compress it down into the storage devices, then breathe it in once you're down there... it's not good, Pinkie. The stuff builds up in your body. They say it's like being drunk. You start making stupid decisions..." She shivered. "Nopony's been able to stay down very long because they might get too stupid to remember they have to come back up. And you can't come up too fast. Ever. I don't even want to tell you that part yet..."
"Twilight, I'm pretty sure we're not talking about --"
"So let's talk about the positive stuff! You can snuff out fires if you flood an area with it, although you have to really enclose it first and make sure nothing else gets in. If you put it in the right kind of tubing and ask a pegasus to run just a little electricity through it... you have to see it glow, Pinkie. It's almost the exact color of my coat. It's beautiful -- not that I'm saying my coat is beautiful or anything, I'm pretty much just -- but when you see it glowing like that..."
Pinkie risked getting a little closer.
"It'll also combine with just about anything! Admittedly, some of those combinations -- aren't too good. There's one which seems to make pain go away for a while and Pinkie, you'll love this, if you breathe enough of the new stuff, it makes you laugh! I'll see if I can get you some of that, just to show you. Under controlled conditions. But with other stuff... it likes to... explode. A lot. But I guess it's kind of like baking: you never know what the ingredients will do together until it all comes out of the oven, right?"
Closer still.
"But here's something most ponies don't know, Pinkie. Hardly anypony at all, because it takes really powerful magic to do it. Luna's magic. She showed me a few moons ago. If you get it cold enough -- really cold -- so cold you can't even imagine --" almost whispering, filled with the thrill of a secret shared "-- it turns into a liquid. And some of the things you can do with it before it evaporates again --"
-- and found Pinkie's left forehoof jammed against her mouth.
"Twilight?
The librarian blinked.
"What are you talking about?" Pinkie asked, and lowered her hoof.
"...nitrogen," Twilight eventually said. "What -- what were you talking about?"
"The seventh element! Of Harmony!"
It was the single most expressive blink of Twilight's life, which was really saying something when compared to the entire body of work.
"I said there was a tiny chance it was important," Pinkie reminded her. "And you know as much about the Elements as pretty much anypony other than the Princesses, so I thought I'd better --"
Twilight sighed. "Pinkie."
"What?"
"There is no seventh Element of Harmony."
"You're sure?" Pinkie sincerely asked.
"Completely. I read the books. I studied the legend. I was in the ruins. With you. There were six Elements. And I guess you could say there were only six there and maybe there were more somewhere else... but do you know what the final proof is?"
"Other than there being six pony virtues and one Element to match each, which I always thought was a little silly because ponies can be virtuous in a lot more ways than just six and --" she spotted Twilight's expression "-- you were saying?"
"There are six Elements -- and only six -- because we used them. Right then and there, remember?"
"Yeah..."
"And what happens when we're missing an Element or a pony?" Twilight patiently cued.
"They don't work!"
Twilight nodded. "So if there was a seventh -- or more -- and anything was missing, nothing would have happened, and I'm pretty sure we'd all be dead right now. Six Elements, Pinkie. No more. Hopefully never less." She sighed. "Why would you even ask that question?"
"Because from what everypony's been saying, there's a bunch of ponies galloping all over Equestria saying they're the seventh!"
This blink didn't quite measure up to the last, but the sigh made up for it. "That's -- just... stupid. Why would anypony do that?"
"Well," Pinkie thoughtfully said, "since they've mostly been saying it in bars and clubs and on dates, I thought they were probably just trying to trick other ponies into giving them free drinks."
"Oh."
"And sex."
"...oh."
"Mostly sex."
"..."
"But I wanted to check with you. Just in case. Because, you know, sometimes the world can be a little weird. But I really like the way you explained it to me! I can repeat that to just about anypony else and know they'll believe me! So I'll just tell a few ponies I know that if anypony tries pulling that on them, they definitely should not have sex with that pony. Thanks, Twilight! I want to see if I can go find a few of them before my lunchtime ends! Maybe at the swimming hole, right? See you later!"
And with that, Pinkie trotted towards the doors.
Twilight helplessly stared after her. Forced her gaze away from the bouncing curls of Pinkie's tail, briefly took in the sight of an empty library. One which was going to remain that way for the entire day.
"...Pinkie?"
The baker glanced back.
"...did you... want to know anything... about oxygen?"
Pinkie looked at Twilight. The doors. Twilight again.
She smiled.
"Sure!"
And they settled in for a while, until Rarity wandered in and quickly got them switched to carbon.
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I had no idea what I was expecting, so this caught me by surprise. Funny little story.
Okay... so Oxygen 'cause it's the 8th atomic element... And Carbon 'cause diamonds = gems, right?
Sorry for explaining the joke...
Oh! It's also a rebuttal on there being any 7th Element of Harmony (Love)!
So you went ahead and did it… and it was (is!) glorious.
Do continue.
So now, the ponies cannot industrially liquify nitrogen. I wonder whether Princess Luna can liquify Neon, Hydrogen, and helium.
6008629
I wonder if she does it by opening some sort of portal to the moon or space, in which case she could cool things down to about 2-3°K
Optimist...
6007639 Actually, according to a video done by The Brony Notion, the 7th Element is wielded by Sunset Shimmer, and it's the element of Friendship.
This is honestly the most adorable thing I've read all month.
Actually, you could probably make an actual educational TV spot about this. Minus the mention of bar hookups. Twilight explaining the elements (of the periodic table)
6009190
There's always been an Element of Friendship, though - Twilight's Element of Magic. Because Friendship is Magic!
Oh. I thought Pinkie was gonna mention the Element of Surprise...
Considering the Elements apparently came from the Tree of Harmony, I think it could have bloomed with different Elements at different times. Like the Crystal Heart. That's the Element of Love. And maybe those Virtues that were in the comic's alternate universe. Temperance, Humility etc.
Very nice. I really like how you threw in a whole lot of world building in that Twilight monologue about nitrogen.
And Pinkie taking on the mantle of Kindness (that very special kindness Twilight craves) for a little while in the end is adorable... and the whole thing is beautifully in character. Also Rarity and carbon.
6009190 No, he said it was the human version of the element of magic.
exe. Twilight has experience script error, in that the script could not possibly be saying what she thinks it saying. Would you care to reload and try again?
And then they got to the Fifth Element... and for some reason Bruce Willis showed up.
"Hmm, seventh element? This could be very a very interesting, thought provoking chapter which will change the way the FIM universe is perceived."
*soon after starting to read I throw my head back to laugh, my chair tips over and I fall back and lie on the ground, crying from laughing too hard.*
'Cause she's a hard-ass, right?
So now I have an idea as to what I can write for this. Once it's finished, do I PM you?
Then one day, in Twilight's fan-provided basement, the six got together with a tank of nitrous oxide.
They all agreed ...it was a gas!
I do apologize for that. Truly.
6047542
Carbon is the primary component of living things, coal, and diamonds.
Oxygen and carbon are definitely excellent discusion topics. I love how eager and almost desperately excited Twi is, it's sweet.
This story sent me down a weird rabbit hole of researching which element names could conceivably be the same on Earth as they are in Equestria. Incidentally, nitrogen has a convoluted etymology, but it doesn't strain credibility for me to think that ponies might have settled on that particular name.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/4on1-1432586023-267226-full
If you're curious, the element here most likely to have a different name in Equestria is yttrium; which, in a roundabout sort of way, takes its name from the Swedish village of Ytterby. That obscure--except, I would imagine, to miners and chemists--village also lent its name to three other elements: Terbium (Tb), erbium (Er), and ytterbium (Yb).
NOTE: I wrote the above before reading "The Old Problem." A selenium-based treatment for Luna's problem? You're clearly way ahead of me on element name etymology.
I figured out it was nitrogen when Twilight was talking about its effects on divers.
this reminds of a gag in the online comic "order of the stick" where an evil Cleric (D&D type character) summoned some Titanium elementals and a Chlorine elemental..."what? it's not my fault everyone else limits themselves to just 4 elements-and Fire shouldn't count, it's a chemical reaction! they're not called 'reactionals'!"
6408839
I remember Poul Anderson wrote a short story with scientific terms being based on Norse mythology instead of Greek & Latin. He had the element Ymirium being splitly & forming Hel
6007639
Nah. Love is a thing of its own; it can be harmonious, or be the source of strife and sorrow. It's powerful, but it's definitely not an Element of Harmony.
6009483
Different isotopes, obviously.
Don't worry; there's plenty of us to say it for you!
6009190
6014260
According to the showrunners it's a seventh. Empathy.
Twilight and Pinkie, casually chatting about oxygen. I like that mental image. At least it's not fluorine.
oh, i recently found this silly fan-comic on Pinterest:
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/09/ce/93/09ce937f8d555972b388d0db880ac4a5.jpg
As a chemist, I both found this hilarious and very interesting!