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enigmaMystere
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Joined March 2012
397 followers
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44w, 4hEpic Pony Rap Battles
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29w, 3dPonies in Our heads
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31w, 2dSt. Xavier Bronies
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25w, 3dstill reading
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Vinyl found herself on the lawn in front of Sugar Cube Corner. Getting up with a groan, she glanced around, wondering what happened last night.
The first thing she noticed was the flamingos in a pool across the street. She stared blearily at them before deciding that she was imagining them. Surely nopony would actually bring five bright pink flamingoes into town and let them roam free...right?
Besides, last night wasn't Friday.
She stumbled into the store, hoping somepony could explain just what went down. Sadly, it looked like no one was there, save for two ponies. She trot over to them, grabbing a glass of water on the way to help with her mild headache. "Hey, dudes. What's up?"
The ponies stopped their conversation, turning to look at Vinyl. The grey pegasus rushed up, tears in her eyes. "Please, you have to help!"
She blinked, surprised and a little concerned. "What's wrong, Derpy?"
She frowned slightly, muttering to herself. "My name's Ditzy..." She shook her head, looking at the white unicorn with her one good eye. "I want a rap battle! This pony" she motioned to the green unicorn behind her, "stole the last muffin!"
She glared at Ditzy. "I bought it! And I'm not 'this pony'. My name is Lyra!"
"Liar!" The pegasus leaped at Lyra, but was caught in a blue glow.
Vinyl rubbed the side of her head, her headache getting worse from the strain of holding Ditzy back. "Let's just...get this over with, okay?" Ponies wanting a rap battle for the silliest of reasons...what the hay is going on here?
Soon enough, everypony was gathered at the town square once more. Ditzy was sitting on the stage, attempting to put her headset on. Eventually, a brown earth pony came and helped her. Across the stage, Lyra was ready, though she seemed bored.
Vinyl rolled her eyes, beginning the music as soon as the pegasus finally was ready. Slipping into character, she began to smile widely.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
...ER...
VS.
BEGIN!
I just don't know what went wrong!
The few things less appealing than your face are your songs!
You're a freak, you geek. Don't be so plucky.
Why, just last week, Bon-Bon left you for Lucky!
Believe it or not, everypony wants my muffin.
No one wants you. You've got nothin'!
Swag is something of which I have a surplus.
I'll strike you down with lightning - this time on purpose!
Look out, folks - it's Derpy! That pony's too clumsy.
How you didn't get locked up before is beyond me.
You got a dull gray coat and a dumb blond mane.
It's no wonder you got cut - you're bucking lame!
The bubbles on your flank don't show your skills.
They say you got a brain that might just kill!
No matter what you do, you ruin everypony's plans.
Look out, Derpy! I'll beat you with my TK hands!
Hands? Are you talking 'bout those dumb myths, again?
You're crazier than Screwloose, believing in humans!
I can beat you anywhere, from the ground up.
Let's face it, Lyra - it's your Last Roundup!
I suppose the voice of my lyre will do.
I don't need to waste my breath on a loser like you!
I'm not insane. Humans are true, by Luna's word!
More so than some time machine and its Lord!
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
I know it seems odd for these two to be fighting, but it all will be explained later on. ^^ Trust me.
Also, I apologize for the relatively short chapter. And if the title cards are causing anypony trouble, please, let me know!
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~
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Yay! First time I can say FIRST!
Also, Lyra wins. Not just because she is best pony. Just because she wins.
Edit: AHAHKGHAKJHFJADSHLFHADSHFLALSIUADK!
Curse you EquestrianAnarchist! You beat me! Hear my cries of anger! They sound similer to my cries of sadness! KAGKJAJADKASFJKASKJFADSKJGHKJA!
nice try, though!
ditzy?
I would have to say, wow, tough call.
Sorry, I am completely on the fence about this one.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.pngNo idea who won, good battle though. 
[rant]She was called Ditzy Doo in Winter Wrap Up, and Derpy Hooves in Last Roundup (when it origanaly aired). Hasbro got flamed by some idiot who thought 'derpy' meant retarded, so it says neithier in Last Roundup now. The name Derpy Hooves is of fandow origins, but Hasbro does accept it.[/rant]
Also, I vote for Ditzy/Derpy.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw3816.gif
Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw4156.webp
*After hearing the last ryme of Lyra's...*
"HEY!, THE T.A.R.D.I.S. TAKES OFFENSE OF THAT!, watch what you say in front of her if you wish to ever being born!" Said a very offended Doctor on Derpy's side of the Scenary
Nice refference to "Finding Your Own Voice" and "Antropology", and tht was a low blow what Lyra said about Derpy's cut and edited presentation chapter, I VOTE FOR DERPY!(Besides THAT NAME IS CANNON!)
Think you could come up with a possible audio for these raps?
Also...
CELESTIA
VS
NIGHTMARE MOON!!!!!
BEGIN!!!
Also... I vote for Lyra because of the doctor hooves referce.
And people...
IT IS A RAP BATTLE IT IS SUPPOSE TO BURN!!! (this is for people who think she was hurtful)
this one goes to Derpy. No competition.
FOOL! SHE WHO MUST BE NAMED CORRECTLY IS CALLED Screwball, NOT screwloose.
LYRA WON JUST BECAUSE. ALL THE DITZY LOVERS CAN EAT MY CAPS LOCK.
Btw EnigmaMystere has already revealed 2 rap battles to me 
I can spoil it all! I have absolute power over the fans of this fic! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
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