It's OK to Be a Pony

by David Silver

1 - Work is Rough

Lyra slumped onto her couch with a loud sigh, but she wasn't alone. Her cherished other half was there, and slipped a chocolate into her snout. Lyra gently chewed a moment, letting the delicious blend of flavors dance across her tongue. "You're too good to me, Bonny. You wouldn't believe the day I had today."

Sweetie Drops, known more affectionately as Bon Bon or Bonnie, settled down beside Lyra. "Tell me all about it." She was always so supportive. Lyra couldn't even express how deeply she loved the mare. She leaned over and kissed her between the eyes.

"Well, get this. This stallion walked in with this huge frown on his face. He was ordered to see me after he made a big fuss in the market, ya know? He wanted meat, raw meat!"

Bon Bon stuck out her tongue in distaste. "Yuck! What for? Did he have a pet? He should have gone to Fluttershy for that."

Lyra held up a hoof. "One sec, just remembered. This is supposed to be secret." Bon Bon just watched her quietly, and her resolve broke quickly. "Oh alright, don't twist my arm about it! So no, he doesn't have a pet. He wanted to cook it up and eat it himself."

Bon Bon shuddered with revulsion. "Blech!" She pulled another chocolate out of her bag and popped it into Lyra's snout out of sympathy. "That's just awful. Why?"

Lyra pointed at herself with a hoof, chewing the chocolate quickly. "That's what I'm paid to find out. So I sat him down and asked for his name. Thomas Peterson. What kind of name is that? I tried to get his real name but he wouldn't give it, so I went on. I saw he was a unicorn, did I mention that yet?"

Bon Bon shook her head, watching and listening with rapt attention.

"Yeah, OK, so he's a unicorn, so I ask him how much training he's had with magic. You know how it is. Some of the most talented unicorns get a few screws loose upstairs." Lyra swirled her hoof beside her head in a symbol of insanity. "But get this, he doesn't even know how to use magic at all. He can't even pick things up! When I ask where he went to school, he gets really agitated. He says he's from some place called 'Amareica' or something, and they didn't teach unicorn magic there. Kind of a lousy school if you ask me."

Bon Bon tapped her chin thoughtfully. "What if he's not from there? I never heard of Amareica before."

Lyra pointed at Bon Bon. "Exactly! That's what I was thinking. He starts complaining about how he isn't 'really' a pony. 'I was born something else.' And he describe this thing with only two legs, and wriggly things at the ends of all its hooves that it uses to grab things? Fingers! Like diamond dogs and minotaurs."

Bon Bon tilted her head. "And dragons, like Spike? He has fingers, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, like those." Lyra smiled with pride at her clever marefriend. "So I look him over for transformation magic, you know, he could be telling the truth right? But there's nothing there. No magic at all, besides the usual stuff. So I figure he's obviously traumatized by something, so I just get to talking with him."

Bon Bon leaned in, nuzzling into Lyra's cheek gently. "Did you get through to him?"

"Not so fast." Lyra sighed. "It was only the first session. He left pretty huffy about the whole thing, but I'll keep at it. Poor guy, he looks so lost and scared. I hope I can get to him."

Bon Bon smiled encouragingly. "If anypony can, you can, my lovely Heartstrings. Dinner's almost ready." she slipped to her hooves and trotted towards the kitchen. "I'll call you when it's done."

Lyra settled comfortable into her chair and reached for a cup of tea Bon Bon had left for her. She ruminated on the conversation as she sipped. That stallion had been so convinced, but he was obviously so lost and panicked. What would it be like to forget you were a pony? Lyra did not envy the stallion, and frowned with thoughts of how to make progress the next day.

Yes, she'll start with his parents. Were they both unicorns as well, or did he block their memory out with thoughts of the biped he thought he was? Lyra frowned a little in thought. It would require a gentle approach. She didn't want to come across as accusing him, or doubting him, even if she did. She pushed herself from the chair and trotted across to the bookshelf, pulling out a tome of exotic creatures and flipping through in an idle search.

She found no small selection of biped species. Fewer were both furless and scale free. Fewer still also had fingers. Ultimately she narrowed the options down to two possible matches. Not that she thought he was either of these two, but knowing the workings of his delusion may help to free him of them, so she studied the ways of the wood sprites and the humans. Hadn't he said something about humans? He was speaking rather quickly at first and she couldn't be sure, but it was a start at least.

If she didn't help him, who would? The idea of the poor stallion being thrown out onto the streets just to get into trouble again, likely much more severe, it made her heart ache with sympathy.

Lyra Heartstrings was on the case.

Comments

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

The legend of Lyra Heartstrings begins

Either that transformation magic detection spell isn't good enough, or it doesn't work on a body created Ex Nihilo.

I guess it all depends if they are Ex Nihilo from the world's perspective or if they did actually have a background here, with just new memories delusions.

[Seeking Dusk]

Ah Lyra, breaking doctor-patient confidentiality so easily. Shame on you.
This is a very good start though.

6006557 On top of the possibilities of a subtle spell or created body, has the magic had enough time for the traces to fade? She didn't mention him having any trouble moving around, just using magic and picking things up.

[Rocky Runner]

That particular "pony's" case sounds awful familiar to Bruce's from Oh To Be Old Again. I can see that the "normal" ponies might have had the same reactions as the ponies in Oh To Be Old Again did, as most of that story is in Bruce's P.o.V. Interested to see the other few chapters...

[David Silver]

6006931 I never read that one, for better or worse. I hope you're enjoying the story though!

[Pinklestia]

Well, at least he did not end as a little filly.

[Thunderhalk89]

So, is he insane or actually a "huuu-maan" (whatever that is) from Amareica?

Haven't read a "Human" tagged fic in a while. I remember them all being terrible.
This one is not and thus I shall read it.

Sort of off topic, but didn't Fluttershy mention monkeys and chimpanzees existing once?

[David Silver]

6007811 Sure. They didn't argue the existence of primates in general. Lyra didn't think Humans were more than a myth until Twilight validated them.

I mean, I believe in horses, but I wouldn't just be alright with a random person claiming they were a pony, and they had a horn with magic, really, believe me!

[Dark Wind]

THis is a nice twist on the usual characterization of Lyra. Instead of her being obsessed with humans, it's the other way around! Very intriguing...

[TheCacophonousMuse]

Honestly Minotaurs are the closest thing we've seen to humans in equestria. After all, they are half human.

[Comrade_Pony]

I'm no expert but isn't Lyra telling Bon Bon all of this a massive breach in patient-doctor confidentiality?

[Captain Hurricane]

I was one of the first people lining up to buy Ponyfinder.....I'm 100 words in and I am not disappointed.

6 out of 5 mustaches.

[NonexistentPony]

6018187 Probably is, but since this is Lyra, doesn't matter to me. Lyra is best pony.

[Trave]

I have an irrational fear of being placed in a mental institution (thanks Shutter Island). I work in EMS and occasionally get calls to transport patients from and to different facilities. Now I have another fear thanks to this. Being placed in an alien's body and being told I'm crazy on their planet.

This is a great story.

[Outa-here]

Nice twist on the "human in equestria" story genre. Also, interesting and unique approach to present it as a dialogue on Lyra's psychological investigations into what is, to her, a strange and sad Pony. I like it! Good work! (Added to favorites.)

[albedoequals1]

What was the canon episode that inspired LyraBon? I just rewatched "Boast Busters" and noticed that Bon Bon is shown in the same house as Colgate while Lyra is standing outside (on both sides of the street at once, maybe one of the Lyras is a changeling)

[user123]

6036552
illuminatee confirmed

[MoondancerPony]

6036552 If I recall correctly, they're also next to each other in a ton of episodes. "Smile", for example, and a couple others.

[Kyle the Scrublord]

6043871
img.memecdn.com/ancient-aliens---illuminati_o_4369323.jpg

[TGbrony]

Unique perspective on this type of story, never seen from the pov of a pony who has no reason to believe the situation. Also its always nice to see a sane version of lyra rather than a maniac with a hand fetish

[David Silver]

6513421 Why tell an overtold story? :)

[Alex Warlorn]

What's so awful about eating meat? It's not like they're eating the meat of sentient people. It's their choice.

[David Silver]

6941073 Ponies are usually herbivore types, milk excluded. I imagine much of it is societal. We insist on pants, they insist on not eating meat.

[a pony in a man suit]

Good thing there’s no HIPAA in Equestria or else Lyra’s fucked.