This is rather interesting. I am interested to see where this goes.

Good Job!

Sieg Heil!

Not bad, but I do recommend that you separate the dialogue from the text from the three chapters and forward.

Doing that, this is acceptable, even though it is not original.

It's a very nice story so far, but I have a few suggestions:

I know it's supposed to be like My Little Dashie, but it's getting too close to it, so try and divert a little if you can.

You're rushing, the time is going by too quickly, slow down the story and add more details if you can.

These are just suggestions, so only if you want to.

Still an awesome story!

Make more......or I will kill you....I only have two complaints. The first is how you put it all into a big slur, instead of separating things, like when another character talks. The second? The chapters are too short...…

Niece: "It's Twilight from MLP: FiM!"

Twilight: "What?"

Nice: Explains everything.

Twilight:

Yeah, sorry. This IS my first FanFic so... I'll get better at it in time.

so much D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

MOAR MOAR DAMN IT I NEED MOAR

>>606809606809 >>607060607060

both of you shut up before il orbital strike you both

Please no fighting

Why so many dislikes? :/

Image: http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110314162138/mlpfanart/images/0/05/Pinkie_Pie_haters_gonna_hate.gif

MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR I NEED MOAR

>>607275607275 don't worry, I will add another chapter tomorrow

no make it now

>>607314607314 but i made 2 chapters today... plus I need time for ideas to flow.

>>607332607332 They are kidding take as much time as you want I like it I hope you get better, and if you can I would like you to go back and separate the dialog  more. It is just a suggestion so you don't have to.

>>607232607232 Please stop we are BRONIES not animals we hail from different countries so if one person says something don't just go rage at them. Love and Tolerate thee shit out of them instead.

I can't help but find this difficult to read, especially in comparison to My Little Dashie. This story lacks the same subtlety and finesse that MLD does.

I suppose it IS your first fic, but I don't think this will be making my favorites list.

Keep practicing. You have potential.

Image: http://iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/cb1dd51d-c28a-4ee8-ab06-e7993ecca67e.gif

detecting hate in comments

FIRE THE CANNON!

D'awww,

Cute

err, seems kinda possesive there

>>607483607483 woot go Sweden, im not Swedish but my close friend is

In my opinion, it's almost as good as 'My Little Dashie'.

>>610206610206

>>609839609839

Will both of you Stop arguing PLEASE!?

>>607060607060 And you too! I don't want to see those comments here!

>>610756610756 STOP POSTING THOSE COMMENTS ON MY STORY!! SWEET CELESTIA, KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF, OR ARGUE SOMEWHERE ELSE!!

Okay fine... I'm now gonna extend the time for the next upload.

>>611331611331

Image: http://clean.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/angry-thanks-l.png

IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS ARGUING, IM DELETING THIS WHOLE STORY!!!!!!!!

>>610206610206no problem

>>610345610345 i agree with the owner of this writing, plz stop fighting you guys/girls (if you are) it would be best for him to know that he isnt being spammed notifications, that ppl are commenting on the vid, when it mostly doesnt have anyhting to do with it. For the sake of Brony kind: STOP QUARRELING. Dont you guys remember hearth's warming eve:

The fire of frinedship lives in our hearts, as long as we live we cannot.. drift apart. though quarrel arise, there numbers are few. laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through). We are a circle of pony friends, a circle of friends we'll be til the very end.

If you guys do remember this, then you should know where im going with this. So seriously stop

>>613033613033 thank you!

>>613614613614no problem

wow wow wow.

this is so cool.

ceap going whit this

....

>>612243612243

Wat ben jij aardig zeg!

>>617748617748

Indeed.

>>609866609866 thank you!

Alright... this is my last warning... if I see... one more stupid comment that has NOTHING TO DO with the story!... I'm not even going to continue with it, and I'm deleting it!! And if I have to... I'm sorry for the fans who really appreciated my story...

i love this story. it is realy good. i hope thet you ar going to make it realy long

sorry for bed english

next chapter in development and it is almost done.

Chapter 4 is now published!

D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

MANLY TEARS WERE SHED BY ME

This is so beautiful

Beautiful...........

i did begin to cry.

this story ar really good.

good job

this was so good

god job good job

D'awww I loved this chapter. It makes me wish that I had my own little pony to take care of. Especially if it's Derpy.   

this chapter had so much D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and so much

hmm this to me feels like a rushed my little dashie but.... that doesnt make it anyless Dawwwwwwwwww

but thanks to lack of sleep i cant realy feel anything right now though i will probably have an overload of daawwwwww when i remember this tomorow

WHY?! WHY SO DAWW?

She's just overreacting. Don't worry.