It's all bullshit except for chapter 12 which is victor hugo levels of good.
It took me literally six years to finish this thing.
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A complicated allegory that tries to emphasize the psychological, philosophical, sociopolitical and practical aspects of being in Equestria as a human. A human with Knowledge! Man's greatest tool and weapon. But more importantly, a human with dreams, aspirations and ambitions. A man's journey to humanize Equestria and bring order to what he sees as chaos, to bring civilization to what he sees as barbarity, to bring salvation to what he sees as lost...
But the ponies differ in opinion: they live their own lives in their own ways.
This new arrival that speaks of strange, foreign concepts and beliefs: does he hold the truth? Or do they?
But what about all the wonders that he testifies exist? These enticing technologies of comfort, these new reforms of liberty and socialism, these visions of an utopian society of progress! One without hunger, one standing unified, one where everyone is equal and free...!
And then there are the amazing weapons and terrible powers that he knows how to unleash.
Will this man bring about the promised era of unprecedented peace and prosperity?
Or will his own human nature blind him with greed and sin in a lust for absolute power?
Expect psychological trauma, inner conflicts and alter-egos.
Expect philosophical reflections on identity, humanity and morality.
Expect a little bit of science here and there and ridiculous jokes and references that no one will get.
I don't understand why all the good stories have all been getting dislikes?
Moar! I'm really getting into this story :D
Interesting, so Charles enters Equestria with a bang!
I was reading the description:
"These humans will be the end of us all. They bring disease, chaos, weapons capable of unutterable atrocities, radical forms of government, extremist social reforms and sin. Their thirst for blood knows no boundaries, and they are capable of the most horrendous of deeds... ''
Reaction: OH GREAT! ANOTHER OF THOSE FICS!
*continues reading*
Yet, they bring with them something else: a new way of living, loving, and seeing the world, a transcendent philosophy of existence and beyond."
Reaction: That's more like it! I shall read...
BTW: before I start reading this... I'll print screen your views (they're 69 xD)
yay blood
Just curious on your source image. I believe I live next to that plant. Located in Page Arizona.
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i recognize the unique stack configuration. Two of equal height and distance. and one other fifty feet further and twelve feet taller than the other two.
Canada! What city is the character from? I'm from Brampton, in the Greater Toronto Area.
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Good so far, this is. I demand moar.
MOAR
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Wow. That's amazing. What a curious coincidence!
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He grew up in Montreal, though he is of Anglo-Spanish descent. (Gotta make him multicultural. :P)
Nice to see a fellow Canadian, though!
Oh and, no one worry, there will be more!
.
I have a bag full of 'em ideas, just need some time to write them
Summer is coming though, so things should accelerate after finals.
607388 Do you know the source of the image?
seems cool, guess too much explainin does help me feel like in equestria, thanks!
MOOAARRR! I love it, I love it all!
im totally in this man (not like hearing speak to me/breath while smokin some pot, but kinda close lol) i hpoe you put moar on, and i love the way charles reacts and acts.
You had me at socialism, and i think this ends badly for celestia and luna.
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Ummmm.... No?
I've seen it on a handful of sites, but they never mentioned the original source...
So I dunno. ¯\(°_o)/¯
Good story, keep writing!
Please feel free to comment, I would love to hear your opinions!
Wheeee! But Montreal? I like the whole Quebecois thing because it makes Canada unique, but I wish he was from an English part of the country, like Toronto or Vancouver, even Ottawa. But oh well! This is a uniquely Canadian fic, and I shall continue to track and read this!!
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I chose Montreal because of its multiculturalism, although I do know that the rest of Canada is also multicultural. I wanted to give him an excuse to be multilingual. Also, I like Montreal! What exactly did you mean though by "I wish he was from an English part of the country"?
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As in, places were English is more primarily spoken (except for Toronto. It's less English and French, and more Punjabi and something else)
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Hehe, I meant "Why?"
as we say in philadelphia: swag
Ok im sorry for commenting so late. Please forgive me!
Ok I am not good at reviewing stuff but I think this story is excellent! The concept you talked about in the description seems very promising, you should keep the pacing you have now its nice.
Keep on ball'in
Keep the rock roll'in
Keep the story scroll'in
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Thanks man!
And don't worry about it, bro, it's all good.
Tell me it's not going to be another of those "monarchs are automatically evil!!!" stories.
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It's not, trust me.
This one is so... small, compared to the others...
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I don't write chapters according to their length, but rather by dividing them by their theme.
In other words, there will be long chapters and short chapters.
Still, next chapters won't be short like this. This one is a special occasion!
616081 Well it's still great. One thing though: This really, REALLY, REALLY looks like a nightmare Charles' having. I predict the next chapter will start with him waking up
(obvious prediction's gonna be obvious.)
Waaaaaaat. Still, great story so far.
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Problem?
Seriously guys, what's wrong with this chapter?
Is it only the fact that it's short, or is it because it is somewhat creepy?
Or is it because it's not clear that it is a dream?
It's obviously a dream, but it's so confusing as to why he's having it.
On a different note, will he talk about Victoria Day and how it's on May 21st?
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.
I doubt it,
Why would he do that? The story is actually set in the future, but not necessarily around May!
It would be weird for him to speak of human celebrations to the ponies, wouldn't it?
Although he does mention some north american universities later on...
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Ah, well. It would've been interesting.
Seems like an author tract veiled behind the disguise of a story. Plot seems more than a bit forced, going to keep this tracked, but I don't exactly have high hopes.
That's the end of this update spree. Next updates will come slowly due to finals and general busyness, but will re-accelerate after those.
Hope you guys are liking the story so far!
I'll post a quick tip. At the very end when Charles is talking about his life in Canada and his social problems... yeah you might want to cut that out.
A lot of stories do this (as in show that their character has had a troubled life) and what's especially noticeable is that he immediately tells Twilight everything. I never saw this as particularly natural, especially compared to the rest of the story. He can still have a bad life, (even if that is a bit overused) but I would not have him immediately tell everyone everything.
You see what I'm saying?
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His social problems were not the true center of that dialogue, they were merely a later addition. (In order to draw a similarity between Twilight and Charles, but that really is secondary.) In order to truly understand him, a comprehension of his upbringing proved necessary, and that is exactly what I was trying to convey to the readers. Also, I did not wish to show that he had "a troubled life". On the contrary, actually: I wanted to elucidate why he managed to pursue an educated life in science, though his family was economically challenged. (Albeit a very strict life). I would call this a good life, actually! But that is a subjective opinion.
Furthermore, Charles isn't telling everyone everything, that could apply if his childhood/adolescence was actually traumatic. That would make it personal, and shameful or painful. (Which I think might be true for those "a lot of stories", but then again I could be wrong.) If that applied here, indeed it would be a secret he would not reveal to Twilight. But this isn't that at all! Charles is actually proud of his history, of his life.
He finds strength and fortitude in remembering what he has gone through, that cross which he carried during much of his days reminds him that through great pain and perseverance, there can result great success and happiness. That is how he achieved his greatest victory, and he certainly wouldn't be hesitant or afraid to recount this to Twilight.
(And Charles does have secrets and things he isn't telling.)
(And he only told Twi, too.)
Therefore, he isn't telling everything to everyone.
Yes, I do see what you are saying.
I could have done it differently, and it might have been too fast, but this just happened to be it. I'll take it slower next time if you want.
My true failure was not being clear in this. I shall add an author note somewhere of this along with an apology.
But thank you sir, for your comment, and I hope you'll stick around!
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I liked just from the description.
when I read the chapter I knew i made the right choice.
.......I like this story and all, ....but I have a strange feeling that it will end tragically.
Still patiently waiting for update...
That was really original, the scene with Fluttershy I mean.
Ah yeah, something else. FATALITY! Fluttershy wins!!!
Dude! I can NOT let this die!