abbylabby278
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5w, 5dSoaring Apple: SoarinJack
Dear Princess Celestia,
Some lessons are a lot harder to learn than others. Some lessons can take a lifetime to learn, but thankfully that wasn't the case with me. See I lost a pony I loved. I was dishonest with him and everypony I knew and I lost him; nearly lost all my friends too. I learned a mare should never be afraid to stand up for herself and no mare should ever apologize for loving another pony.
Honestly and hard work will always win through in the end. You see, love is like an apple tree. When you first see it as a seed, it ain't much. Just a seed. But if you plant it right, and take care of it, it'll grow. It won't always be easy, but if you do things right that little love seed with bloom into the most beautiful thing in Equestria. I learned that the hard way, but I'll say this; it will always be worth it.
Your loyal subject,
Applejack
P.S. It sure would mean a lot to me if ya'll could come to the weddin'. We aint set a date yet, but I is hopin' it's in spring when all the apples are in bloom. Consider this a standin' invitation for ya' and ya' sister, Luna. Everypony is welcome to my weddin'.
See ya' then!
~The End~
Comments ( 25 )
The quality of this fic is seriously mind-boggling. It's downright incredible. ![]()
Now ya gotta do a Big Mac one. ![]()
clap, clap clap clap.
Thank you, I cant not thank you enough for wring this for me to read, this was fantastic in every way. Just Wow.
Ab-so-lute-ly amazing. Loved it. Keep up the spectacular work. Is the "incomplete" tag a hint of more or is it just a tease? ![]()
It's kind of strange actually as there is barely any interaction between them in the actual show, but really, I think Soarin x AJ is one of my favorite straight pairings in the entire fandom. I have no idea why, just for some reason they click in my mind. I'm really surprised that this fic doesn't have more views than it does, the writing style is excellent, the descriptions are damn near perfect and you have the characterization spot on in my humble (or not so humble!) opinion. I especially enjoyed the way you portrayed Fancypants and Fleur, nice to see rich ponies that aren't complete snobs about it. Can't wait to see more from you.
PS, I damn near cried when the Soarin and AJ broke up...
Spoilers.
Hmm. Well, it was a fun enough story and all. I feel you are trying a bit to hard though. AJ's fallout with Soarin feels really forced to me. What she says is pretty horrible, and it makes little sense that she says it. I mean, getting angry is one thing, but... the situation prior really doesn't justify that much hostility. It really just feels like a forced plot point to me. You have to get them to break up somehow, so you just kind of shoe-horn it in. Their reactions to it make more sense (how much they both struggle with the break-up). But then, when they are about to get back together, Soarin really should be less forgiving. It seems he is basically thinking AJ hates him and doesn't want to be with him anymore. Of course, that is what she says, but... That is all he seems to be feeling, there is almost no resentment towards AJ's very harsh words.
It also makes the whole ploy they have set up (even if they all also want to help the orphanage) seem a bit pointless. I mean, by that point in the story its rather obvious that Soarin is going to forgive her. There is very little anger in him, its all just doubt if she wants to see him again. Even after everypony tells him that that is so.
And that is another thing, the orphanage and everything around it. Soarin is such a great character that he is always helping out the orphanage he grew up in, Fleur and Fancypants are really effected emotionally when they hear about/see the orphans... A lot of things being said and done. I mean, keep the orphanage and everything. I'm not saying you shouldn't use that, but... Its all just a little bit to much if that makes sense. Feels like it should be toned down just a little bit. Again, trying just a bit to hard to write a emotional story in my opinion.
Having said that, again, I did enjoy the story. It's definitely a fun read.
Alright, let's go down the list:
Spelling - I was disappointed. Obviously it's not YouTube-comment-bad, but it's I-expect-better-from-my-fiction poor. You really have issues with homophones, to the point I honestly wonder whether you used some kind of speech-to-text transcription program. For one, "passed" and "past" are not the same thing at all. And there was stuff like this: "The barn was musky and old, but had a pleasant sent of aged oak wood. Rarity had to give the Apple's credit; they may not have been as concerned about ascetics as she was." Three mistakes there; you want: scent, Apples, aesthetics.
Now, the flow of the writing was very good, and I like your style. You painted very clear pictures with your words, and the moods were all conveyed nicely. There were a few points where you awkwardly repeated words or phrases, but overall it was very good.
Now, as for the story... oh dear. To me Applejack was an utter moron. I can - sort of - buy her not wanting to tell her friends and family about Soarin' (though it was pretty flimsy in its own right) but why would she lie to Soarin' about that. Is "I don't want to introduce you to my family just yet; I promise I will eventually; you have to trust me." so difficult? And her insults to Soarin'? Ouch. I would have left the bitch and never even considered getting back with her as a point of personal pride.
Which brings me to Soarin', who is, I swear, an absolute saint. And I'm not religious. After being the perfect gentlecolt, getting undeservedly hit (seriously, WTF is with that?), betrayed and the verbally torn to shreds by the love of his life, and then soldiering on for his friends and teammates (which AJ utterly failed to do) the poor guy still has the insane reaction of feeling guilty. This guy deserves fifty million bits and a coupon for a free roll in the hay with the mare of his choice - Luna and Celestia included.
And what insanity is keeping Soarin's family history a secret from him? That's really, really wrong. Orphans and adopted children have a right to know as much about their birth parents as possible. Soarin' should've been told everything as soon as he was old enough to understand the words. He should've had a picture of his parents by his bed. After a whole story about how keeping secrets leads to heartache this is so broken.
And unlike the other points above without which there arguably would be no story, there is nothing about the plot that necessitates this secret. If Soarin' knew about his parents AJ's words would have stung him just as hard.
All the other characters were bang-on though, except possibly for Rainbow Dash, who I don't see becoming emotionally crippled that easily.
So, final thoughts:
Applejack didn't deserve Soarin'. Not in the least. I was hoping against hope that you might go for a bittersweet ending where Soarin' moves on and AJ has to really deal with the consequences of losing him forever; hopefully better for the experience. But no, it's a they-can't-live-without-each-ther-so-they-get-back-together. The truth is Applejack deserves worse, and Soarin' deserves so much better.
This story made me cry manly tears. The only other thing that has made me shed tears like this was when Wilson floated off in "Castaway." I applaud you good sir, this fic is amazing ![]()
I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had never considered an Applejack x Soarin' pairing, but after reading your fic, it just makes perfect sense. The whole story is very well done, and the character details couldn't be any more spot on if Lauren Faust herself wrote it. The greatest standout moment for me *SPOILERS* The moment when Applejack tells Soarin' that he's a worthless orphan *SPOILERS* made my heart jump right into my throat. To get me so involved that such a thing would happen, you have some serious storytelling skills working in your favor! You did a superb job, and I hope you write more in the future, you know, like maybe a continuation of this story *cough*. ![]()
Unless I had reason to believe he was a jerk or an asshole, no, I wouldn't. Why would I want to hurt someone who is making a person I love happy?
The only way it would make sense is if I had this presupposition that any guy having sex with my sister is using her. This goes back to what I said, this idea that a man having sex with a woman is taking something from her; that the woman is inherently a victim. I just don't buy that; it's a horrible, disgusting perspective and it's degrading to both the man (predator by nature) and the woman (victim by nature).
Yes! finally this story made it here!![]()
Loved this story on fanfiction
and I have no problem admitting this story ruined any other Sorin shipping that doesn't involve Applejack![]()
Words cannot describe how I felt throughout the course of reading this.
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Everything is well-written and I love how fleshed-out all the characters were. Oliver Spring reminds me of Oliver Twist with the "Twist" altered. The ending was very powerful, particularly the part where Soarin' and Applejack reenact their first meeting. That there was utter brilliance, no doubt. In fact, the whole story is brilliant. I also loved that Rarity was a driving force in this, it perfectly displays her element of generosity. Yes, the story is great and you're a great writer. Thank you for writing this amazing story and sharing it with us. DFTBA. ![]()
Not gonna lie, I cried from this.
I didn't really like the way Susan seemed to almost punish AJ there, but it certainly made it that much sadder. Well done.
I just came across this story the other day and I could not stop reading it.
It is a master peace, the story was powerful, it had me laughing, it had me crying, hell it even made me late one morning for work because I couldn't put the story down! (but we don't have a clock in machine so it went unnoticed
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You have a real talent my friend.
Thank you for sharing this master peace with us all ![]()
just found this............MY LIKES! TAKE EM! the sheer emotion in this piece of literature is worth millions!
Awww its over? I found this story and read it nonstop since i started. I don't want it to be over ![]()
Followed it on Fanfiction and stumbled on it here! Loved it so much, please do another fic soon, quality writing.
This finally got put on Fimfiction!
I am pleased
Insta-fave, thumb up, and stalk- er, I mean watch.







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