EqD Writers Training Ground for Georg - S5

by Georg

Week 5: Castle Sweet Castle - And Now A Message From Our Sponsors

Week 5: Castle Sweet Castle — And Now A Word From Our Sponsors

For the S5 EqD Writer’s Training Ground

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The new season of My Little Pony is bringing something a little different to make Twilight Sparkle’s new castle seem more like a home.

Product placements.

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The first rays of sunlight poured through the open castle windows and directly into Princess Twilight Sparkle’s eyes. Even turning around in bed did little to avoid the brilliant light, as the reflective surfaces of her new home managed to put the light straight between her closed eyelids until she groped around with her magic and pulled the blind cords. As the heavy fabric swept over the open windows, she staggered to a sitting position and rubbed a hoof over her eyes.

“It’s a good thing we took advantage of the sale at Mister Mape’s Custom Blinds and Drapes last week, isn’t it Spike? We saved over 50% from factory direct price on the entire castle, and even got free installation. Spike?”

Twilight looked around the empty bedroom for Spike, but other than a somewhat large and still warm depression on the mattress next to her, there was no sign of the little dragon.

“That’s odd,” she added, patting the still-warm mattress. “I’m normally up before he is. I guess this Sealy Thaumopedic Mattress let me sleep in longer this morning. You know what they say, a good night’s sleep on Sealy’s best can help you experience your very best…” She blinked and took another look around the room. “Why do I feel like I need to stretch and call out ‘Wake up Equestria’ while looking out the window with my mane blowing in the breeze? Oh, wait. Spike wrote me a note on the finest ultrawhite bond cotton mix from Wherehouser, the only paper that Princesses all over Equestria use for the most important messages.”

She paused with the note held suspended in her magic before deliberately looking down and reading it, determined not to spew any more commercial messages.

Dear Twilight,
There have been a few dramatic changes in this season. Although we didn’t get much advance notification, I’m sure you’ll like the end result. Please roll with them, and I’ll see you at breakfast.

Love you,
GG

Flipping the paper over, she began searching the nightstand for a quill, eventually grabbing something somewhat different. “Ah, HA! I’ll write a letter to Princess Celestia using this Model 51 Barker Pen with electro-polished point, the finest ever from the Diamond Dog empire and on sale now at Rich’s Bargain Barn for only what am I saying! What is going on? I know I was researching memory spells last night, but I didn’t think I had wiped out anything really important.”

A faint wisp of a delightful odor wafted up from downstairs and Twilight immediately perked up. “Coffee! Yes, coffee will help me wake up, and after all, the best part of waking up, is Foalgers in your cup.” Twilight paused and waited for the musical accompaniment to fade away before walking deliberately out of the bedroom, down the staircase and along the corridor that lead to the castle kitchen. It had been a very confusing morning so far, and her habit of talking to herself was not helping, particularly when she paused next to a corridor window to absent-mindedly ask, “That doesn’t smell like our normal coffee.”

“We’ve secretly replaced Princess Twilight Sparkle’s regular coffee with decaffeinated Foalger’s crystals — Urk!” The announcer pegasus struggling in Twilight’s magical grasp kicked several times to no avail as she pinned him against the ceiling and snarled in a voice that was only one step away from cold-blooded murder. One very small step.

“I want COFFEE! Not decaffeinated, not crystals, not instant, COFFEE! I love my coffee in the morning! If you think you’re going to take away my coffee—”

“You sound tense,” the announcer managed to gurgle before Twilight pinned him even more solidly against the ceiling and began to squeeze.

“I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t know what you’re doing in my castle, and I don’t know why you want to take away the one thing that makes my mornings livable, but I do know what I want. I want—”

“You want a fine cup of mountain-grown Columburroian coffee,” sounded a rich and deep voice just outside of the open window. A small grey burro nodded at Twilight as she whirled around, and the burro reached over his shoulder to take the steaming cup of coffee handed to him by a small monkey perched on his back. “Hand picked by my Juan every morning, it is the richest coffee in Equestria. Try a cup, Princess, and you will agree.”

She magicked the cup away from the burro with no small trepidation, and took a cautious sip.

And then another, somewhat longer and more intense than the first, which also corresponded with her tossing the struggling announcer pegasus out the window.

“Thank you. May I have your name?” she growled between sips.

“Conchita,” the burro responded with a nod of her head. “And my faithful macaque, Juan.”

She floated the empty cup back over to the monkey, who filled it with coffee and allowed her to float it back. Taking another sip, she resumed her trip to the kitchen with an appreciative sigh.

“Now that’s fresh mountain-grown coffee from the hills of Columburia.”

After a brief trot down the corridor and a sharp right turn into the small castle kitchen, Twilight Sparkle paused at the breakfast table and considered her next words, preferably non-commercial ones. Spike was sitting next to the three Cutie Mark Crusaders, obviously caught in the middle of a conversation as Apple Bloom said, “Let’s give it to Spike.”

“Yeah,” agreed Sweetie Belle, pushing a bowl of cereal over to the little dragon. “He’ll eat it. He’ll eat anything.”

“What are you trying to feed Spike! Give me that!” Twilight grabbed the bowl of cereal away from Spike and took a quick nibble.

“She likes it!” declared Sweetie Belle.

“It’s not bad,” said Twilight. “What are you three doing at our breakfast table this morning?”

Scootaloo puffed out her chest so far she looked like a little orange bird for a moment. “I wanted our first breakfast as a family to include my best friends. After you picked me up yesterday at the shelter and adopted me, I thought I would make this breakfast something special. I’ve never had a real family before, and now I’ve got a princess for a mother! A princess is really the best thing to ever happen to a shelter pegasus!”

Princess Twilight Sparkle paused with a mouthful of the cinnamon cereal unchewed in her mouth while her brain cells attempted to remember yesterday. There was something about a ceremony, and signing something, along with a lot of hugging and kissing that slowly worked its way up through the residue of the memory spells she had been researching. Still, there was something else that was bothering her, something she had forgotten but was tickling away at the edges of her mind. The sight of a bottle on the table triggered part of a memory, and she picked up the syrup to consider the label.

“Give your pancakes what they deserve and top them with the classic taste of Aunt Neighmima® Original Syrup. This rich and thick syrup is the perfect way to top a stack of delectable and what am I saying! We don’t even have any pancakes!”

“Did somepony say pancakes?” A hefty green earth pony shouldered his way forward, carrying a heaping stack of pancakes on a large platter which he sat down in the middle of the table to the admiring cries of the hungry breakfast bunch. “Be careful. They’re hot. Those on that side of the platter are Spike’s ruby-sprinkled stack from the Ruby Mill at Manehattan, where all of their rubies are hoof-picked for the highest quality. Then we have Apple Bloom’s apple-flavored straight from the trees of Sweet Apple Acres, the best apples in all of Equestria. Then we have Scootaloo’s Strawberry Fields U-Pick Berry Barn and Sweetie Belle’s delicious whole-wheat from our friends at the Wheaton Flour Mill and Bakery. And over here, from the freshest of Hoofington’s blueberry bushes, get yours this week while they’re at the peak of freshness, we have a complete stack of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s blueberry pancakes with sprinkles for my beautiful bride.”

The green stallion kissed Twilight right on the lips for a blissfully long time, despite a number of somewhat critical comments from the rest of the youthful breakfast crew. Eventually, he drew back and gave her a long and loving look to the point where Twilight could see her reflection in the sparkles of his dark eyes. “So, dear. How do you like the new season so far?”

“I could learn to like it,” replied Twilight, leaning forward for another kiss.

Comments

[Georg]

I tried to wedge in soap and Neighzima face cream spots, but I couldn't find a place to make them fit.

Conchita and her monkey, Juan Valdez are provided on loan from the fine ponies who provide Columburroian coffee for the sleep-deprived masses. You make a fine cup.

Also please take time this week to see about adopting a shelter pegasus of your own. Ask about our free spaying and neutering program.

[RazDelacroix]

Saint's and proxies... The horror... The horror...

Try Horror Hugo's Hefty Garbage Bags today! They seal in the most vile scents and are pointy-unicorn horn proof against punctures!

[FanOfMostEverything]

Well, that was horrifying on several levels. Twilight may want to renegotiate, possibly with the aid of contract lawyers from the fine offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe, a plausibly deniable subsidiary of Flimflam Incorporated.

What do you mean I wasn't supposed to read that last part?

[BenRG]

Trying to put Twilight on decaf = suicide

[Admiral Biscuit]

Oh God.

I may have to pay homage to this, if that's okay with you.

[Georg]

6264100 fine with me. Take that ball and run with it.

[King Kenya]

6063578

I can just imagine how this was sold to them...

[Georg]

6598025 Darnit, now I need to try to find episodes online. Do you know how hard it is to find BBC programes (with the e) that broadcast on PBS in the United States, free for anybody to pick up with a TV, but darned well impossible to track down online unless you're willing to spend $10 an episode.

Maybe I can talk the library into buying the DVD...

[ShadowLDrago]

“You sound tense,” the announcer managed to gurgle before Twilight pinned him even more solidly against the ceiling and began to squeeze.