Equestria's Tales

by DouglasTrotter

Tall Tale to Tell (Normal/Slice of Life)

The stallion sat on the stool close to the bar. His un-bandaged hoof rose. Cautious eyes followed its trail. Braeburn glided his hoof through the still air of the saloon. His hoof froze. He fell forward and slammed his hoof into the wood floorboards. The ponies inside the saloon winced. With the crowd getting closer, a sly smirk greeted them. Braeburn tipped his hat to the ponies in front of him.

"That's how ah banged up this here hoof," Braeburn said. He took his hat off, bowed, and placed his hat back on top of his head. His hoof pointed toward the horizon, "Ta think what happened out there coulda happen to this here town, it's a miracle we're breathin' right now."

Two mares approached him, waving fans against the sides of their faces while Braeburn sat back on his stool. Several stallions tipped their hats to Braeburn before placing them back on their heads and going about their business. Braeburn's right ear perked up. He nodded to the pony behind the bar then grabbed his mug of cider, slugging it down in one gulp.

"Geez, Mr. Braeburn. How'd ya get outta that alive?" A filly said.

"Wasn't easy, I can say that much. Things went off a cliff faster than a pack of ravenous lemmings." Braeburn said. His coat hairs stood on end. "He-Hey cousin... I thought ya left on the train with the kin folk?"

"Braeburn..." Applejack said in a slow tone before turning to her cousin, "truth be told, I'd like to hear more about this little 'accident' you had before the rodeo here. Not to mention I'd like to know why Apple Bloom and her friends managed to sneak passed your so-called 'faster than a rattlesnake on edge' eyesight that can spot a fly from twenty paces."

The stallion leaned back, and then motioned to Bar Top. Two mugs of cider slid down towards the ponies.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. She tapped her mug with a single push. It slid back towards Bar Top who eyed the mare. "I. Ain't. Thirsty."

Inside the saloon, the air remained still. As the sheriff entered, Braeburn threw his bits on the bar and darted for the door. Applejack bolted down the dirt road behind her cousin. Their hooves pounded against ground. The farm came into view. Braeburn lunged at the door. He opened it. His hoof slammed against the door. Several clicks resonated inside the farmhouse before the stallion breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Ahem," A voice said.

Braeburn's hooves froze in place. He turned his head slightly, and then glanced behind him.

"Ya'll should remember to close those windows before leavin the house." Applejack said, sitting in a chair while reading a newspaper. She folded the paper. On her hooves, the cowgirl approached her cousin. Her eyes focused on his broken hoof. "Ya want to continue this little game? We both know how it'll end."

"Fine!" Braeburn said. He undid the dressing on his hoof. It wafted to the ground while he removed his hat. "Happy?!"

Applejack squinted. As she leered at her cousin, Applejack followed Braeburn toward the kitchen. The stallion hung his hat on the rack behind the door then propped his head on the table.

"What 'story' did you tell those folks back there?" Applejack said with her stern gaze maintained, "I want the whole truth. None of your shenanigans, Braeburn."

"I uhh... I told em that Tirek was loose, and I defeated him in the desert just passed here. " Braeburn said. He winced as Applejack's hoof rose sharply. He opened his eyes to Applejack adjusting her Stetson. "There was a loud boom from some kinda cave-in a ways from here. Look --"

"Of all the foalish, ridiculous, inconsiderate...." Applejack said. She paced back and forth several times. Her eyes locked onto Braeburn's. She pushed her hoof into his chest, "Shoulda named you Apple Core with how rotten that lie is you told those folks." Applejack removed her hoof then shook her head, "Shameful. Just downright shameful what ya did. How could they even believe somethin' like that story? What did ya tell em?"

Braeburn sighed. He moved toward a hatch in the back of the kitchen. The two traveled down a small set of steps toward the cellar. Lantern in hoof, the stallion guided his cousin toward the back wall. He motioned toward the tall cupboard and stepped back.

"What in tarnation is it?" Applejack said after she pushed the cupboard aside. She backed away with her eyes fixated on the object in the secret storage space. The stone radiated a small bit of light; dark blue in color, the object was no bigger than a large apple.

"Remember that cave-in I mentioned? Well, this thing created it." Braeburn said.

"First off, this thing is a meteorite. At least, I think it's a meteorite accordin' to what Twi's books have said. Second, if it is a meteorite, it fell from the sky. Up there," Applejack pointed her hoof up then lowered it. Her eyes focused on the almost spherical stone. "This thing ain't natural, and that's just the obvious. What in the hay is goin' on?"

Light from the lantern hit the meteorite. It glowed in a slight luminescent hue.

Braeburn looked at Applejack and shrugged. "Your guess is better than mine, Applejack. I injured my hoof gettin it outta of that hole. If I told the others about it, they would have tried to nab it from me."

"Braeburn! How dare you believe these townsfolk would rob you. This is rightfully yours by name since you found it first." Applejack said.

"This ain't 'finders keepers' of the biggest apple when we were little, Applejack. Claim laws ain't easy." Braeburn said. The stallion sighed at the object then looked at his cousin. A small tear ran down the side of his face, "Dontcha remember how my Ma had to fight tooth and nail to get this plot of land?"

"Ya... Aunt Goldrenette told Granny Smith about the troubles. Said it took near three years ta finally get things settled. Shoulda gone to Princess Celestia." Applejack said.

"Couldn't make the trip on my account, remember? It takes a good four days by train, and she didn't have the money." Braeburn said.

Applejack looked at the strange rock once more. In a stoic voice she said, "Braeburn. What ya'll found, I ain't likin' it one bit. It's givin' me the creeps somethin' fierce. I have to get this to Twilight for safe keepin'."

The stallion nodded to his cousin. He picked the crystal up and placed it in the box near him.

"This'll keep it safe. Before ya give me that look, I know what I did was wrong. It doesn't take Princess Celestia's wisdom to know that bit of knowledge. In all honesty, there's a part of me that feels this thing is meant to go with ya back to Ponyville." Braeburn said.

"Your hoof?" Applejack said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yesh, ya don't let up, do ya cousin? Fine, ah tripped over a rock gettin down to this thing, and I just got a cactus splinter in it." Braeburn said.

"Ya had me break my back and almost injure my whither cause ya got a cactus splinter in your hoof?!" Applejack said.

"Whoa, easy there. Ya won that trophy, remember." Braeburn said. He backed up, tumbling over a pile of junk. After removing himself from the junk, he escorted Applejack back up the steps and closed the hatch. The two proceeded into the kitchen where Applejack eyed the sturdy box. She placed it into her saddlebag and closed the flap. Braeburn rubbed a nervous hoof against his neck, "So, does this make us even?"

Applejack sighed. She nodded to her cousin. "Did ya tell any of them townsfolk any other tales?"

Braeburn shook his head violently. He placed his hat on top of his head, "I'm missin' part of my flank here after havin' ya chew me out down there."

"Yes or No." Applejack said.

Braeburn shook his head once more. Applejack chuckled to herself. With the window locked and the front door closed, Braeburn escorted his cousin from the farmhouse to the train station. He waved at his cousin as she boarded the train, "At least she didn't hear about the stampede."

"Uhh, Braeburn. The train hasn't left yet, and we're gonna have a little 'talk' about your stories when I get back after droppin' this off at Twi's place." Applejack said from her window seat. Her eyes followed the stallion as he galloped away. "That foal will never learn. Still. I wonder what this little scavenger picked up."

Comments

[Narrative Style]

Curious. Are you planning on expanding this with later prompts?

And it seems he managed to weasel out of telling her he was sleeping on the job.

[DouglasTrotter]

5981676

I think I might try a "little" something with the successive prompts that come out.

[HeartofIndigo]

I wrote comments on the original EqD post here. (I was cornfused.)

[Xtralife]

Just finished reading your story, and, well, it's been an interesting ride from start to finish! I was expecting Braeburn's tale to be all kinds of ridiculous, seeing as how the bar's patrons were hanging on his every word, but then you changed it up with an actual incident! It feels like you're going to do a follow-up with that blue meteorite, and I want to see where that plot thread leads, too. I do have some recommendations though - mostly with sentence length. Outside of your dialogue (which is spot on and very nice, I have to say), most sentences seem to be short and devoid of commas. There used to be this guy named Gary Provost, who was a writing instructor, and he said:

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”

So try that, and keep on writing!