• Member Since 15th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen May 11th, 2016

looneymoon


creator of discordnightmaremoon and multiple fics that rarely make it to paper ;u;

E
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Luna really does like being snuggled! She loves her hoof being held, pecks on the cheek, and all sorts of physical affection - at least, that's what Celestia tells Twilight.
Despite this, she can't help but notice that Luna always wants to wriggle out of Twilight's hugs.
And for a young lovestruck princess, that simply will not do.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

This looks cute.

If I may make some formatting suggestions, indenting the beginnings of paragraphs and adding a blank line between paragraphs will improve readability. :twilightsmile:

Hug that Luna, Twilight! Hug her senseless. :rainbowlaugh:

5943738
I disagree. While there should be some separation, having both blank lines and indentions seems a bit redundant.

5944335 Personally, I'd separate paragraphs even using indentation, if I'm not writing double-spaced. YMMV, obviously. :twilightsmile:

5944647

I'm gonna second this. Regardless of indentation, spaces between paragraphs are always beneficial.

It's nice for your first story.
The others already pointed out the space between the lines among other things. But I also think that some of those are personal preferences or just looking better in someponies eyes.

As far for the story, I see potential in it and hope to see more soon.
It is interesting that far.:twilightsmile:

A great start! Lots of potential here. Definitely want to see more.

5969247 Working on the next chapter!

"But if you ask me, he completely deserved it."

Don't act like you know him Twilight.

"You know, a few centuries ago, Luna would have dropped everything to go to a party."
"No way."

No, she would not, or rather could not. Remember how she was on the moon Celestia? Who put her there? Hmm...

When we were fillies, she was always making friends and stirring up trouble."

I was under the impression Celestia was the attention whore and trouble maker.

It's just that whenever I try to hug her, she always squirms away.

I think she's going for tsundre.
I was expecting Twilight and Luna to already be romantically involved, maybe they are but it just has not been mentioned?

5978750 Will you be finished sometime this year?

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