Word of Advice never go to a costume convention ever!
Ultron, Hero, former Element bearers, friend of the royal sisters... wait what?
Allen Peirce went to a costume convection as his favorite comic villain. After a bright light he ended up as his character. Deciding instead of letting himself become as his character was a villain he became a hero, and after a thousand years since his supposed death he has returned.
A new age had began Equestria has new element beares and Ultron is ready to step up once again.
My fifth Displaced Tale.
Chapters (5)
Goddammit!
5941811 Beat you to it didn't I?
Instafave!
5941819 Nah, it's not that. That picture makes me come off as a complete douchbag! I could atleast crack a smile!
Vary interesting i like this ultron
Hm. I can see the appeal and I am quite interested. However, you really need to check your grammar, a little more pacing won't hurt either.
5941820 Thanks
The grammar is not strong with this description...
Word of advice, Read your stuff out loud to yourself before you hit publish. You'll find that you'll catch your mistakes...
I'm gonna show you something beautiful. Everypony screaming for mercy... You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change either. You're all puppets... tangled in strings... strings... but now I'm free. There are no strings on me.
^rash
Luna was jeolpus of her sister and she came to my forge.
^I'm guessing the 2nd one is also an error unless it a word you made up
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Yes!!! I love robot theme Displaced stories
Hope his new body have a healing factor
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Hope you don't burn yourself out with all these stories
I would read, but since it's anthro... Just, anthro is one of strangest things to ever come out of this fandom. Yes, even stranger than the anatomically correct clop fics. I will never understand the appeal in having everyone be humanized, yet still be called ponies. It reminds me of how I felt about MLP before I watched MLP...
Great another ultron cool...well I think fun will be there
Okay.... one quote you HAVE to use.
You really really need a Beta Reader.
I want to say that you certainly have potential,
but your grammar is shit. I'm not a grammar nazi (actually I'm just a german), but this is realy painful to read, even for me.
There seem to be missing and swapped words, wrong conjugation and just plain grammatic errors.
If you fix these, hopefully through a proofreader or an editor, I see potential.
Is Nobody going to mention the description?
Supposed to be 'Bearers'
Why
5942933 Why what?
5942221 Trust me I will
At the very least a spell-check
I'll follow for now
5942634 Fixed it up
Wow, interesting, I'll follow. See were it goes.
Can you counted the story I getting really good
You might want to have another look at that preview text. You have Cosplayer spelt as "cross player" ... which doesn't make sense unless the character were quite upset.
5948232 Thanks
Okay, Discord Buster armor sounds awesome. Also, all the subtle references to Age of Ultron are nice. Other than that I suggest tightening up the grammar a bit would help and slowing the pacing down to let the scene get fleshed out. Also, some more descriptive language would be cool. You used the anthro tag but I didn't really see any descriptive language that would suggest that they are. Anyway, I'm excited to see where this goes. Keep it up.
TWhen the dust settles the only thing left living in this world.... will be metal
Discord Buster?
So its suppose to bust Discord, a god open?
I think you ment pinkie pie
Awesome chapter but I notice when you was introducing them you didn't really capitalize the Elements other then Rarity's
IT'S THE HAMMER OF DAWN FROM GEARS!? Also just who the heck is in his forge!?
If I didn't know better, but I do I would say the evil AI of DC Brainiac has taken over, but that's crazy
5950552 Close
5955822 then I got nothing
chapter short though
YAY! YOU USED THE LINE!
5978882 yeah I have a lot going on
5978889 understandable everyone is allowed to have stuff go on hell its required.if not then you become a boaring person
More now!!
5979000 I have nine stories give me some time ok
5979009 K but don't take to long k and sorry if I upset you
Man... I wish somebody could allow my guy to help... But nope, nobody wants a Spartan helping... Eh, just gonna have to let him fight Gravemind... Oh, sorry, I ramble too much, great chapter, keep on keeping on!
Can someone link me to the stories that mentoned in this one? Whold be mutch apreatiated. Cool story. I will follow.
Nice, very nice. Get to the next chapter!
delete that immediately. only amateur writers do that
You know, I'm currently creating a Displaced story starring me as Megatron from Transformers Prime
6033747 want some help on this?
6033749 well, I was hoping that we could have a crossover sometime, like maybe after we both get some world - building in
6033775 ok then