CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: Guess Who's Coming for Christmas?
The snow fell on General Mitchell International, white and ephemeral. Over the speakers, a soft tune lilted through the station; someone with enough knowledge of classic rock would have recognized the artist as Mazzy Star. Due to the time of the year, there were scant people in the airport, mainly those who had to be there and those waiting to go somewhere else.
Sitting in the Starbucks adjacent to the windows of the main terminal, a man watched the snow fall on those outside as passengers came to and fro and transporters picked up and dropped off various people. Some of them looked as though they’d been flying for hours; he could certainly understand that, as from the time he left Doha he’d been travelling for over fifteen hours. But that was the norm when serving in uniform, and in fact, even sitting in the Starbucks he was dressed in his dress blues, because it made it easier to get around in airports while Stateside during this time of year.
Two years. He’d already been overseas for two years now at FIFTHFLT HQ, and he still had two years to go on this hitch. At least next year he could negotiate new orders; he already had some ideas in fact. He’d just have to discuss them with a certain other individual when he got the chance.
“Hey, Lieutenant?” Ensign Mike Hengst, US Navy, looked up and saw the barista dropping off an extra coffee for him. The barista had the just-growing haircut of someone recently having departed military life. “On the house. I know what it’s like being away from family this time of year.”
“Ensign, actually – and I’m headed to see my grandparents. But thanks for the brew.” He looked back at the barista. “Just get out?”
The man laughed. “That obvious? Yeah, just left the Army after being stationed in Korea for four years. Girlfriend didn’t want to wait much longer to get married and I didn’t want to lose her, so I got out. What about yourself?”
“Oh, I can honestly say I’ve got a gal like no other. Very unique,” he said with a smile. “I’m stationed overseas, but thankfully she’s willing to wait. And very much worth the wait.”
“You can say that again,” a sultry voice said as a redhead slipped her arms around him and cooed in his ear. “Wanna take me home tonight, Sailor?”
The barista laughed. “Well, I’ll let you two lovebirds be. Merry Christmas,” he said, walking back towards the counter.
As he walked off, the redhead slipped into the chair next to Mike, lounging lazily. Her slightly wavy red hair framed a pair of deep blue eyes, fair skin and a body that swimsuit models would kill for. Any guy would be crazy not to go after her, Mike thought, though in his opinion she was just crazy. “So, having fun embarrassing me, Shelby?”
Shelby Hengst laughed. “Little brother, you’re waaaaaaay too uptight, you know that?” she said, taking the extra cup of coffee and claiming it as her own. “So, how long have you been here? My flight got in an hour ago. And speaking of flights, where’s your better half?”
Mike was about to respond when his phone went off. He checked it just long enough to read the text: ARGUING WITH IDIOT @ COUNTER; RACIST TARD NEEDS TO FOND! XXXOOOXXX! DJ.
Pocketing the phone, he sighed and said, “Well, she’s at the rental counter picking up the car.”
“Well, while we’re alone, Michael, I need to talk to you.” That mention caused him to worry; no one in his family called him by his full name unless something bad was going to go down. “You’ve been in international transit, so there was no way to get a hold of you. I promised Mom and Dad I’d tell you; they already told Chaz and Hope. Grandma and Grandpa wanted the whole family to come, so….”
Mike blanched. He knew exactly what his sister was about to say. Looking at his cup of coffee, he muttered, “I wonder if I can have a few shots of whiskey added to this.”
“Yeah, you and me both, little brother.”
He looked wistfully at the nearby airport bar, which was unfortunately closed for renovations. “So who’s in charge of damage control?”
She smiled wanly. “Well, in addition to Mom and Dad, Uncle Ernie will be there, because he doesn’t want crap to start and give the old folks a heart attack. Plus, apparently our cousin Joe and his wife Mary will be there. Everyone else was warned in advance and is staying home to avoid Hurricane Debbie.”
“Great, just great. Remind me why we can’t have a normal Christmas gathering?”
“Well, you and Chaz are married to or marrying, quote ‘freaks’ unquote, this might be the last time we’ll ever get to spend with our paternal grandparents – and the condo in Miami is too small to suddenly change our collective minds and see our maternal grandparents. Plus, Grandma and Grandpa might not live to see you and DJ get married, Mike. Regardless of our aunt’s opinions – and I’m using the term loosely here – I think you should let them see the wonderful girl you’re going to marry someday.”
“Speaking of which, the wonderful girl looks like she just pulled up,” he said, coffee in hand and pointing at the outside, where a figure shrouded in black was getting out of the champagne-colored SUV. He knew that the black bridgecoat the figure wore was more for avoiding the falling snow than the chill; after all, she came with a natural coat that insulated her. He knew that gait, that half-angry shuffle and sharp jagging of her tail when she was irritated; he also knew how to calm down the tail’s owner. After all, he’d known the girl for a decade now and two years ago had asked for her hand in marriage – even if it’s technically a hoof, he mused with a tiny smile. Daisy Jo Martinez, the first of her kind, albeit accidentally, on their world and the reluctant forerunner of her entire species. She was ever discomfited by that; humans at first based their assumptions of ponies based on the one that had never been raised with her kind; and likewise ponies oftentimes treated her like she was one of theirs even though for all intents and purposes she was as human as he.
Shelby grabbed both hers and her brother’s bags, allowing him to go make a quick order of coffee for his fiancée. “Mike, I’ll meet you at the car, okay?” Not waiting for an answer, she walked out of the café area, made a quick wrap around a stanchion and out the door, into the bitter Milwaukee winter night.
A few minutes later, he came out, coffee in hand for both of them and found she was done loading the luggage into the car with Shelby having beaten a safe retreat into the warmth of the SUV. He also looked at the car and winced: a 2036 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, something a bit pricey even for her own funds – as a writer, her monthly royalties were more than his paycheck.
He brought the coffee over to her. “Hey, I seem to have lost my fiancée around here. Know where she might be? Only girl in town with her looks, literally.”
She took the drink, then looked up at him with her soulful violet eyes. “I’ll have to check with my betrothed, assuming he gets his ass in the car before he freezes to death. But he can kiss me first.” Mike bent down and did so, the pairs’ lips meeting gently. “I’ve missed you,” she said, refraining from hugging him only because of the coffee cup in her hand.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asked, looking at her. He couldn’t tell her, not yet.
She smiled. “For you? Anything. Besides, I sure as hell didn’t come to Milwaukee for the beer.”
“But Milwaukee is beer town, hon.”
“Yes, because Coors is a priceless treasure of American culinary culture,” she said, sarcasm in full brunt. “Besides, you know I prefer wine coolers.”
Shelby knocked impatiently on the window and DJ climbed into the driver’s seat while Mike hopped into the passenger’s. “What’s the deal with the car? Isn’t it a bit out of your price range?”
“Well, to be honest, I was just about to leave, because the idiot clerk at the counter said ‘we don’t serve kickstands.’ When I explained to him that I didn’t care for his tone or attitude, several people thankfully made a fuss, too.” The humanized pony grinned wickedly. “And then when the manager came out, turns out he’s a fan of my work – and also made the political connection, too, since well I’m me and all. He offered me the Porsche for the same price as the Kia Sorento I was thinking about. Plus, I got to have the clerk pretty much in fear for his job before I let him off the hook – it is Christmastime, after all. So we get a nice set of wheels and get to relax in—” she started running a hoof on the seats, cooing in a faux-Spanish accent, “—reech Corinthian lethur,” before breaking out into a giggle fit.
Mike chuckled himself; it was great to be back with her, warped sense of humor and all. “You know where we’re going?”
From the back, Shelby gently smacked him in the back of the head. “Well, duh – I already bumped the address over to DJ, goofball. Dee, you’d better make sure you straighten him out when you guys get married – the boy needs a gentle touch.”
DJ laughed. “Already on my list, Shelby. And Mike, get some sleep, please. I know you’ve been up for the past fifteen hours, but we’ve got a whole week to be together.” She briefly placed her “hand” on his before moving it over to the automatic shifter.
“DJ, I don’t get to see you enough as is, hon,” he said, reaching over and caressing her cheek. “I’m in this for the long haul and so are you, but only getting to see you once or twice a year sucks. Really does.”
She sighed, looking briefly at the GPS display on the dashboard before turning the car out onto to the Airport Spur, aiming for Interstate 94 and their eventual destination. “Oh, and before I forget: here.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out something small. “Merry Christmas from Logan. Did personalized mixtapes for all his friends and put them on Micro DPB sticks.”
“That’s nice of him,” Mike said, yawning and fighting to stay awake as the car smoothly cruised down the road. He was already feeling the drowsiness kick in despite the coffee; he wanted to spend every moment with the woman he loved. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s enjoying the radio personality life in LA. Just bought a house in Montebello; I was over for the housewarming party. But his last girlfriend left him, so his love life sucks. I told him he could do better than a sales clerk who works at Knotts Berry Farm, but he swears he was totally in it with Pam, so I….” She trailed off, watching him finally slip into sleep. Reaching over to pull the gift out of his hands and place it on the dashboard, she whispered, “I’ve missed you sooooo much,” before caressing his face with her free hand.
“You know, DJ, I envy you,” Shelby said from the back. “You two have been together forever. I can’t even get a boyfriend to stick around for a year. You two will probably be for life and no offense, but yours isn’t the type of relationship anybody’d put money down on.”
DJ looked at her future sister-in-law via the rear view mirror. “I know what you mean. Your brother is a very special person: he took a chance on us because he saw the real me when others were still afraid of the so-called Alien Girl. Even now with ponies being a part of humanity’s reality ten years on, relationships like ours are very rare. I only know of one other.”
A goofy grin crossed Shelby’s face. “Well, put a smile on that face, because he’ll be with you forever. C’mon, smile, smile, smile!”
DJ laughed. “You know, you remind me a lot of one of my pony relatives – I think you’d like my aunt Pinkie if you ever met her.”
The two continued to chat softly as the car crossed onto the freeway, headed towards its northern destination: River Hills, a suburb of Milwaukee nestled just on the coast of Lake Michigan.
“Look, Ernie, I know she’s our older sister, but…c’mon. Do Mom and Dad have any idea of the powderkeg that’s about to happen?” Carl Hengst sighed, shaking his head. “Debbie’s going t—”
“Hey, man, I getcha. But Debbie’s our sister and Mom and Dad don’t have much longer to live. I talked to their doctor, and he says next heart attack is gonna kill Dad; and Mom, well, you know she’ll literally die of heartbreak. And they want the family here, so we’ll have to deal. Look, I’m just glad that my kids decided to spend Christmas with their spouses’ families instead of being here in this mess, because that would only add to the fire. And I talked to Joe privately and he says he and Mary will do everything they can to keep Debbie from picking on Hope. She’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
Lila gave her brother-in-law a feeble smile. “Um…believe it or not, it’s not Hope we’re worried about – not as much, that is. I don’t doubt for one minute that Debbie won’t try to start something with Hope, but…well, it’s Mike’s fiancée that’ll be coming too, and….”
“Wait…Mikey got engaged and you’re just now telling me about it?” Ernie backslapped his fingers across his brother’s chest in an odd congratulatory gesture. “So, Mikey got himself an Arabic girl from Bahrain – Bahraini, right? Yeah, I can actually see how that could be worse than Hope.”
“Um, actually, he’s been seeing DJ since high school,” Carl corrected, “and they got engaged a couple of years ago. But it—”
“Betcha you got some great pictures of them,” Ernie said, grinning. “Always knew that kid of yours would do good for himself.”
Lila looked at her husband with a message in her eyes: Picture’s the only way. Seeing his brief nod, she fished her phone out of her pocket, and bought up the gallery. “Mike sent us this picture of them after he proposed to her in Boston a couple of years ago. They’re perfect for each other, and we absolutely adore her.” Lila passed the camera over to Ernie.
Ernie took a look at the picture – and stared. After a few minutes, he looked up at his brother and sister-in-law. “This isn’t a joke, is it?”
“Nope. You can, uh, kinda see why we’re a bit more worried about DJ than we are about Hope.”
Ernie ran a hand over his head. “Fuck…yeah, I can see why. You’re seriously not kidding me about this?”
Carl looked at his older brother. “When they first met…I tried breaking them up myself, because of the same damn fears. She proved me wrong and has been there for us in ways even our own kids haven’t – when Lila and I caught that bad case of SARS just after Chaz and Hope’s wedding, DJ pretty much was the one who played Florence Nightingale because most human viruses don’t affect her. So believe me when I say that if she ever runs into trouble, well, as far as I’m concerned they gotta go through me, first.”
Ernie grinned. “Then we’ll make sure we got her back.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, hon, we’re here.” Mike felt a tap on his shoulder. Sleepily opening his eyes, he found his angel looking right at him.
“Yeah, took longer than usual, though: accident on the Brown Deer road offramp; had us waiting in traffic for half an hour,” Shelby said from the back as she opened her door. “But it gave me an’ DJ plenty of time to talk.”
That statement chilled Mike’s blood; his sister definitely bordered on the impish, though he knew she loved him. Turning to DJ, he asked, “How much would it take to get you to forget anything she said?”
“I promise not to use any of it against you unless I intend to totally mortify you,” she said in a sober tone and her right arm raised. Then she smiled and said, “C’mon, let’s go meet your grandparents.”
The pair got out of the car, Shelby merrily skipping along and DJ falling into place right next to her fiancé. The snow continued to fall, and she whistled appreciatively. “Wow, kinda reminds me of my abuela y abeulo’s place in San Marino. Didn’t know your family was loaded, Mike.”
“We’re not, not really,” he responded as he looked at the place. “Just the house has been in the family since the Hengsts first immigrated to America. We just got lucky that they chose to build a large home in River Hills, which eventually turned out to be the wealthiest suburb of Milwaukee. Just like your family, I guess.”
“Uh, not – the Martinez family helped found Los Angeles, and own a crap ton of real estate on the west coast. Just that Dad wanted to do his own thing, so he went into the Navy instead of one of the typical family businesses like law, banking or real estate. The fact that Dad hit the big time on his own is totally a coincidence,” she answered. She looked at the house again. “Though I’m sure half the family would have a cardiac if they ever saw this.”
The house in question was a large mansion at the end of Juniper Drive. The manor, a huge building overlooking a pristine view of Donges Bay and Lake Michigan, had plenty of parking and the like and easily looked like old money. To the side was a boathouse that led directly to the waterside, while towards the far left there looked a….
“Don’t worry – Dad remembered asked Uncle Ernie to stable them elsewhere while you’re in town,” Shelby said. “Uncle Ernie raises ponies…I mean, dwarf horses – still getting used to that term, sorry – as a hobby. Mike told me you had an unpleasant incident with horses when you were younger.”
DJ nodded. “Remind me to tell you about it sometime; I think I can wring sympathy out of just about anyone with that.”
Just as they approached the door, it was thrown wide open and a huge bear of a man walked out. He had a bushy, Santa-like beard, sandy blonde hair and looked like he could bench-press an ox. “Shelby, looking as adorable as always, kitten. And Mikey! Out there, righting wrongs in the trenches and airfields?”
As one, Shelby and Mike looked at each other, then back at their uncle. “You do this on purpose, don’t you, Uncle Ernie?” they said as one.
He grinned. “Yeah, still got it,” a reference to an old joke the trio shared between then. He then looked at the newcomer, and the look on his face clearly said that he was getting used to the idea, though to his credit he didn’t mean it in his voice. “Hello, you must be DJ. I’m Ernie Hengst. I’m their uncle and the youngest of my parents’ kids. It’s…uh, nice to meet you,” he said, offering a hand.
She gave him a smile, taking his in hers and shaking. “Nice to meet you as well. Wonderful house you have here. Jacobethan architecture?”
He gave her a curious look. “Yeah, my great-granduncle redid the house in the 1930s. But you’re one of the few to notice something like that. Interesting.”
DJ grinned. “As a writer, I have to know a lot of stuff, whether I like it or not. Besides, my apartment complex is done in the Jacobethan style, so it’s something I’m a little familiar with. Personally, I kinda prefer art deco, but you take what you can get.”
Ernie elbowed Mike, whispering to his nephew, “Smart as a whip. And likes deco. You’d better marry her soon, Mikey or I might just steal her from ya.”
Mike rolled his eyes, waiting for the inevitable, and he didn’t have to wait long. “I’ve already broken this one in,” the humanized pony said, wrapping her right arm around his left one, “and I just don’t have the time to train another boyfriend. Sorry.”
Ernie laughed; he hadn’t expected that. “I’d say ‘how’d you hear me?’, but I’m guessing you hear better than humans?”
DJ wiggled her ears. “Well, not that my parents would ever admit, but yeah, hearing comes part of the standard package.”
“Well, you three, don’t just stand there in the door, c’mon in!” With that, Ernie ushered the three younger ones in. “Carl and Lila are in the kitchen, brewing something warm for the three of you. As for my parents, Chaz and Hope took them out to run some errands, but they’ll be back soon.”
Mike tried to broach the subject carefully. “Uncle Ernie, is uh, A—” He stopped as soon as Shelby kicked him gently. “I guess we need to talk about this, don’t we?”
“Okay, I’d like it if someone stops dancing around whatever’s going on and just tells me, okay?” When the three looked at her oddly, she said, “Mike, I know you – you have this look in your eyes when you’re hiding something from me because you want to protect me, and while I love you for that, I can deal with it. Shelby, you frowned very briefly the moment Mike said it, so I’m guessing you’re in on it. And Ernie, you had the same look in your eye as Mike, so I guess it’s a family thing with the menfolk.”
“DJ, it’s not like Mike meant to hide it from you,” Shelby began, “none of us did. But we wanted to wait until you and Hope were here so we can all talk about this as a family – of which you are a part of now, even if not officially yet.”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?”
The answer came about thirty minutes later. DJ had enough time to say hello to her future in-laws, who were absolutely happy to see her. She also had enough time to make a quick call to her parents and her grandparents to let them know she made it with no problems. She had just slipped her phone back into its holster when Mike came up to her. “Hey, Chaz and Hope are here. Ready to do this?”
“I guess,” she said, suddenly wondering if coming here was a good idea after all.
He noticed her apprehension immediately and went up to her, rubbing her almost nonexistent shoulders. “Relax. Mom, Dad and Uncle Ernie wanted you and Hope to be aware. It’s not like we’re not going to look out for you – and like I’d ever let something happen to you anyway.”
She leaned back into him. “I’ll manage as long as I’m with you.”
Shelby then walked into the room where the pair was. “We’re all waiting for you in the dining room. Grandma and Grandpa went to bed early, so you’ll have to meet them tomorrow, DJ. You ready to do this?”
DJ smiled. “Hey, I’m just a normal girl living in a screwed-up world. I’ll manage.”
The trio eventually made it over to the table, where everyone was sitting: Carl and Lila, Shelby, Ernie and Carl and Lila’s oldest son Chaz and his wife, Hope. Hope was first generation Mexican-American and despite her parents’ impoverished status had worked her way to a scholarship at Stanford, where Chaz was studying at the time; they married and eventually moved to Seattle, where Chaz worked for Microsoft and Hope was a schoolteacher. The two were meeting each other for the first time and after a few minutes of chatting, the meeting got underway.
DJ took a sip of the wassail that Lila had made for everyone. “Mom and Dad say hi, by the way,” she told Mike’s parents. “Also, Carl, Dad says to let you know the Brewers suck.”
Carl chuckled. “He would say that. Not even baseball season yet and he’s already getting into an Angels vs. Brewers thing. But we’re not here to talk about that. What we are here to talk about is…well, I’ll be honest: this isn’t going to be easy.”
“Then you’d better let me handle this, Carl.” Ernie leaned forward, arms resting on the table. “Carl and I have an older sister, Debbie. She, uh, has certain preferences, and….”
Hope ran a tan-skinned hand through ink-black hair; she was already a veteran of this kind of conversation. “Su hermana es racista, ¿es eso lo que estás diciendo?” she muttered aloud.
“Creo que eso es lo que están tratando de evitar decir abiertamente,” DJ added.
Hope looked at the pony. “Wait…you speak Spanish?”
“Well, I am Hispanic.”
Everyone looked at DJ oddly while Mike laughed. “Uh, hon, ‘Hispanic’ is a human appellation.”
“Okay, so my Dad and little brother are Hispanic, so I can say ‘adopted Hispanic’, right? In any case, I obviously habla Español, or else my abeulos would never let me hear the end of it. But that’s not the point. What is the point is that Hope’s right, isn’t she?”
“We’re not proud of that, mind,” Carl said. “In fact, we rarely speak to my sister and she’s never around for holidays, and even her only son doesn’t buy into that. But considering my parents’ condition, they wanted to see her, even with…well, I hope you understand. Normally, this would be hard enough on Hope, considering she’s very clearly Latino, but DJ….”
“Yeah, I get it. But you know me: I’ve dealt with way worse. I can handle this.”
“I’m here with you every step of the way, hon,” Mike said, squeezing her hand.
“For both of you,” Chaz said to his wife.
“So when do they get here? And who has the fun of having to pick them up?” Shelby asked.
“Joe said he’ll drive here, so no one has to deal with the initial pain. And if it’s any consolation, Debbie knows about our parents’ condition, so she’s not going to do anything to agitate it much. Means you’ll have to deal with some of it in private, you two, but when anyone else is around she’ll hopefully keep her mouth shut.”
“Let’s hope there’s that,” Lila agreed.
The rest of the night had gone fairly smoothly. DJ and the rest had talked, and both she and Hope had gotten to know the family they had married into (or soon would, in DJ’s case.) The Hengsts had made their fortune in America by way of importing; a family of seagoing men obviously knew the ins and outs of shipping back in the earliest days. Of course, Ernie Hengst hadn’t taken the career path his brother did, but DJ was somewhat surprised to learn that Mike’s family was behind one of her favorite retailers.
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about that, but….” Mike had mentioned, while DJ grumbled about all the hundreds of dollars she’d spent that she could have avoided had he said something. And hours later, it seemed to Mike that he probably wasn’t going to live the faux pas down for the rest of his life; with her, he was already used to that. “Are you coming to bed or planning to sulk all night?” Mike asked. At the moment, DJ was seated by the window, watching the snowflakes fall at just past midnight. The guest room they were using was tastefully decorated – and one of several in the house.
She favored him a smile for that, banishing the earlier quarrel. “Actually, hon, I was just thinking – I still haven’t met your grandparents. I hope they’ll like me.”
“Why wouldn’t they? You’re bright, beautiful, friendly, caring – the ideal girl.”
“The ideal girl, as far as I know, doesn’t come with a tail,” she said, looking absently at her own. “Might be generations before anyone like me is ever considered ideal.”
“And this bothers you how?” he asked. “I get that you’re a bit nervous, especially with the extra info about my aunt. But regardless, nothing’s going to change. At the end of the day, I’m still going to marry you as soon as I transfer duty stations. My parents will still adore you. Shelby will still think the world of you, and while you just met Chaz and Hope today, I think you’re getting along great with them. Hell, you even impressed my Uncle Ernie and he tends to run on the skeptical side.”
“Mike…this is my first time really spending time with your family. If we’re going to be doing this on a regular basis, then I have to be the ideal girl.”
“Just be yourself, hon – no one was expecting me to be perfect when we spent last Christmas with your extended family in California. And even still, you’re ideal enough for me.”
“And you wonder why I love you so.” DJ didn’t say anything for a few minutes more until: “Just had a strange thought: I wonder if it snows in Equestria.”
“Equestria?” Mike sat up for that one. DJ almost never discussed the land of her birth except in context of her family back there and even then not often. “With the weather magically controlled? I don’t see why they would want to deal with all that cold. But what brought this up?”
“Just…what if the situation was reversed? What if I were living with…her…and you had to come to Ponyville to spend time with us? Would you be happy? Could you be happy? Since the trial, I’ve read up a bit more on Equestriani culture and everything I read makes me think I’d have an easier time fitting in with crowds in France, Germany or the UK than the place I’m originally from.”
“Hon, it’s been nearly ten years now and you’re an adult now – by both American and Equestriani standards. No one has any say over your life now except you. And you know Twilight and the others wouldn’t have allowed that. So why worry?”
She looked back out the window again. “Sweetie Belle came to visit last month. She says hi, by the way. She was taking a week off work, something about needing a break while working on a particular project. I think she and Pip are going through another phase in their relationship and I kinda get the feeling Twilight wishes they would just go and get married, but I guess that’s none of my beeswax.”
“Well, she is your aunt after all; it’s okay for you to care,” Mike pointed out.
“I know. Anyway, we spent most of the time she was visiting running around museums and such in LA – she really liked the Getty and the Cabrillo, but I think she really got a kick out of the Magic Castle. The regulars there were very impressed to see true magic in action instead of just stage magic. I think she enjoyed herself overall, but…I get the feeling something was amiss and she just didn’t want to say anything.”
She sat there for several more minutes, until he finally got out of bed and put his arms around her. “DJ, what’s bothering you?”
She leaned into him. “After all these years, I thought you’d be used to my moods.”
“I am. And this isn’t one of them, not normally. So, are you going to tell me what’s bugging you, or am I going to have to drag you to bed?” Before she could even answer, he tossed her onto the bed, kissing her passionately. Before long, she gave in, joining in before stopping and giving him a look somewhere between scolding and desire.
“I thought we agreed – not until we’re married. I’m trying to be a good little Catholic girl.”
“Yes, but…that doesn’t mean we can’t still do other things, right?”
She mock sighed. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”
The next morning, DJ came downstairs with the intent of heading into town to get some shopping done. Mike had chosen to sleep in, and for that matter, so did most everyone in the house – with one notable exception. Seated at the table, nursing a cup of coffee and poring over a tablet, was Hope. She heard the rustle and looked up. “Oh, good morning – don’t mind me; just grading papers while I’ve got the chance. I really came to unwind and spend some time with Chaz’ family, and I can’t do that if I’m glued to work, so I’m trying to get it out of the way.”
“I see. Well, I was headed into town to do some shopping, and if you feel like escaping from the red ink, I’m up for company.”
Hope shoved the tablet back into a nearby purse, saying, “Thought you’d never ask.”
A few minutes later, the two were headed down the road towards town, the Hengst kids having bowed out to spend time with their parents. That worked well for DJ, as it would give her time to pick up a gift for her beau. After quickly looking up some information, the two decided on The Shops at Grand Avenue, a mall downtown.
As they drove along, the two chatted breezily, two people figuring out where they fit in the scheme of each other’s circles. DJ in particular, expressed surprise at Hope’s lack thereof. “I realize I’m not what everyone expects, but even still, you didn’t seem very surprised when you saw me.”
“Well, I knew about you and Mike from talking to Carl and Lila,” Hope pointed out, “plus, I have to admit, I have a daily reminder. There’s a pony couple that moved into our neighborhood a couple of years back, and I have their oldest girl – filly? – as my current student. Cloudberry Jam is having a hard time adjusting, but I’m guessing her parents are even more so since they lived their whole life in Equestria and didn’t have to deal with human customs. Cloudy’s just a kid, so she’ll be able to adjust better, but that makes it all the more impressive that you did so without any other ponies to help you with that.”
DJ waved it off as they arrived at the mall. “Meh. Mom and Dad didn’t know what I was, only that I needed parents. Thankfully for me, they figured that out and took care of me from that point. Part of the reason I’m as human as I am, I guess you could say.” They pulled into a parking space and filtered out of the car, entering the main point of the mall and started shopping. As per the norm, DJ got some stares, but nothing that she wasn’t already used to. And as the time wore on, the two women had to make at least one stop back by the car to drop off packages, turning out to be a very successful holiday haul.
But, as the norm for DJ, things certainly got out of pocket quickly.
The humanized pony had stopped to get a couple of drinks from Brew City Brews for her and Hope while the latter went off to get something for DJ for Christmas – something Hope insisted, especially after DJ blurted that she’d gotten something for Hope and Chaz. That left her amongst a pile of bags, waiting and watching the crowds go by. Occasionally she would wave at the children who walked by, many of them surprised to see an alien even though it was now common knowledge of the other world’s existence. She wondered how much more shocked they’d be if they knew she was the reason humanity in 2036 was no longer alone.
And that was right about the time the sting jolted up her spine. Another thing about not being truly human was adjusting to people occasionally stepping on her tail, a quick charge of pain that made her wince. Thankfully, most of the time people noticed and moved off with an apology or other indicators to let DJ know it had not been intentional. But the continuing discomfort she was feeling now meant one of two things: that either someone had stepped on her tail deliberately, or hadn’t noticed. Usually it was the latter.
She turned and tapped an older woman on the shoulder. “Excuse me, but you’re sitting on my tail.” The woman refused to move, however, and the pain was really getting to DJ, so she said a bit louder, “Excuse me, but you’re on my tail.”
The second time, however, got the attention of a man sitting across from her. He was balding and a bit on the paunchy side with thick glasses. He called out, “Uh, mother, the, er, person, uh, behind you is, um, trying to get your attention.”
The woman, a grayed-haired woman who looked rail thin and wore a fur coat, took one look at DJ and sniffed. “I think I need to have a chat with the management about letting pets run free around the place.”
Pet? Buoyed by dozens of memories – all of them bad – of her early, “pre-person” years, the humanized pony’s blood began to boil…only to calm down again as DJ reminded herself that it was the holiday season. Well, that and I promised not to make a public spectacle – though the throbbing pain is making it hard to deal with right now. “Look, lady, just get off my tail, okay?”
Looking at her, the milquetoast man said, “My, er, apologies, ah, miss. Miss, is it? Apologies if it’s, uh, not. I’m, er, not as, uh, familiar with aliens as, I, uh, should be.”
“You shouldn’t bother with the thing at all, son. No telling what otherworldly diseases she probably brought with her from where she came from.”
“Where I came from is LA, you idiot,” DJ seethed, the pain starting to get the better of her. “Now you can either get off my tail, or I can boot your ass into Low Earth Orbit!” DJ placed a hand on the woman’s chair, intent on moving her whether she liked it or not.
“Unhand me, you…thing!” the woman said, appearing totally mollified. “Who knows what kind of infection you have!”
“Mother, please! We shouldn’t make a scene like this,” Milquetoast said, clearly being ignored by all.
DJ was about to blow her lid when Hope arrived, intervening. “Saw the whole thing from afar. You okay?”
The pony relaxed, glad to have a friend onsite. “Yeah, now I am,” she lied, the pain now excruciating. “Thanks.”
Hope gently lifted the woman’s chair, letting DJ painfully pull her tail out from underneath. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, lady. She’s in pain and all you’re doing is insulting her?”
“Go back to your own country, illegal.” The statement was blurted out so clearly, practically all sound seemed to stop, except for Milquetoast, who buried his head in his hands and muttered, “Here we go again.”
“Illegal?” Now it was Hope’s turn to be infuriated. “Let’s get something straight: I was born here.”
“I suppose you expect congratulations are in order? Well, I suppose you must find English to be necessary for your job as a prostitute.”
Hope was about to go ballistic when DJ found herself in the unusual position of playing peacemaker. Now I know how Mike felt in high school whenever I argued with Valerie. Pulling Hope back, she said, “Just like you said, hermanita. Not worth the problem.”
“Oh, and looks like the thing can speak Spanish as well – how lovely. I guess like owner, like pet.” The look on the woman’s face was one of glee, and it was clear she was trying to get a reaction out of them.
“Look, let’s just get out of here before we have to explain things to the mall cops,” DJ replied. “Thanks for backing me up. Oh, and DIAF, lady.” Before she could react, the pair headed out, DJ’s tail flickering in the usual jagging motion when she was angry, but tempered by the spikes of pain she felt when it moved.
“I can’t exactly tell because I’m not there in person, but from what the pictures show, it could have been a whole lot worse,” Erica said over the phone while she was talking to Mike. “Just bind her tail up and make sure she doesn’t use it much. Might hamper her walking a bit, but it’ll heal faster.”
“Thanks, Erica. I’m sorry to bother you like this.”
“For you guys? I’m always available. But I hope I’ll get to see you guys again before the wedding.”
Mike smiled; good friends were always hard to come by. “It’s a promise. I’ll let you get back to work then. Thanks again. Bye.” Holstering his phone, he went over to where his fiancée was laying on the bed, her tail now looking the worse for wear and flecks of red in it as the actual tail structure’s bruises shone through in places, some bad enough that the skin had been torn and bloodied. “Erica says we need to wrap your tail up.”
DJ sighed, then quickly winced as another shock of pain filtered through. “You know I use my tail for balancing, hon. Not going to be easy to get around unless I use it.”
“Shelby went off to the store to get you a cane. I know it won’t make it easier, but it’ll have to do.” He sat down on the bed next to her, seeing the morose look in her eyes. “Look, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I should’ve just went with you.”
“No, you wanted to sleep in and spend time with your parents. I understand.” She gingerly turned to look at him, and there were tears welling in her eyes. “The hard part isn’t the injury – though that’s not fun. It was the insult. I…nobody’s ever made me feel like I don’t belong, not in years. But there was just this…maliciousness...in her eyes. She treated me like I was some kind of thing. She even referred to me as a pet, wouldja believe?”
“Well, I always thought of you as my pet,” he said, petting her on the head to complete the bad humor.
“Wow, we’re not even married yet and you’re already cruising for a divorce,” she jibed.
“Seriously, though, I promise you won’t have to deal with anything like that again.” He ran his hand down her back; she arched slightly, an involuntary reaction. “I’ll always protect you, hon.”
“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” she sighed, content to be at his side.
There was a knock at the door, and Shelby and Lila came in. Shelby held up the cane, a garish holiday version painted like an oversize candy cane. “Yeah, I know, not at all stylish, but hey, what can ya do at the last moment, huh?”
Lila, for her part, seemed discontent. “DJ, do you think you need to go to a hospital? I’ve already called the local one and while there’s no Eq.D on staff, they can fly one in from Chicago if need be.”
“That won’t be necessary – Mike called Erica and she said all I need to do is just to wrap it for a few days.”
Lila then looked at Mike. “Speaking of calls, your cousin just called and they should be here in five minutes.” She then looked back at DJ, adding, “And I know Mike and Shelby have said this more than once, DJ, but while Debbie may be family, so are you.”
“Thanks,” she said, then jolting as Mike carefully took her tail and applied isopropyl to the injured parts. “Ouch, that smarts.” She looked back at him. “I know you’re trying to be gentle, but…a little more careful, please?”
“Trying as best as I can, hon.”
A voice called down from downstairs: “Hey, looks like they’re here.”
“I guess we should go see her, huh?” Mike asked, looking at his mother and sister.
“Naah, you take care of your girl, bro. We got this.” Shelby dragged her mother out of the room, leaving the couple alone.
A few minutes later, Mike finished up, taping up the edge of the gauze. “There. You should be good to go.”
She got off the bed, wobbling as she did so. “There are days when I wish ponies had kept the thinner and smaller tails of their horse ancestors instead of evolving thicker ones,” she said as she took the cane Mike handed her.
“That or just ditched the tail entirely?”
“That would’ve been preferable.” She leaned against him, forgetting all about the pain for a second. “Of course if I didn’t have one, I couldn’t wrap it around you like I do.”
“You like doing that, don’t you?”
“It has its uses,” she said with a smile, as the two lovers were drawn closer together…
…only to be jolted back into ugly reality by the scream of “YOU!”
DJ waddled down the stairs to find the scene a mess. Chaz was there, holding Hope and looking like an older version of Mike crossed with Shelby’s coloring. Carl and Lila stood firmly behind Chaz and Hope, while Ernie and Shelby were in the middle, looking as though they were trying to prevent a catastrophe.
Standing across from them was a rather plain looking woman in frumpy clothing that did nothing to make her look attractive. There was also a man next to her…the man from earlier. Which meant that…
“WHAT IS THAT…THING…DOING HERE?” Sure enough, it was the older woman from earlier, the look on her face one of pure and utter disgust.
“That person is my fiancée, Aunt Debbie.” Mike stepped in front of DJ, determined to protect his love. “And I would appreciate it if you treated her as such.”
“Ah, poor dear Michael. And I had such hopes for you,” she tut-tutted. “To think that it was bad enough that your brother Charles married that…immigrant. And now, I find that you’ve taken an interest in bestiality.” She turned to Carl, adding, “Well, at least my son was raised properly.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Lila said, stepping forward. “It might be the mid-‘30s, but you have to realize it’s the 2030s. We all grew out of that crap ages ago and it’s a shame you haven’t.”
“I’m sorry – I was discussing this with my brother, not you. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it.” She looked at them all imperiously before saying archly, “Well, I shall go bid my parents hello, then rest in my room for a bit. If anyone has anything worthwhile to say – of actual import, that is – then I shall consider it.” With no further fanfare, she went upstairs.
The room went silent for a few before DJ spoke, unnaturally calm. “If anyone needs me, I’m going to be outside blowing off some steam…starting with juggling the VW in the driveway.”
“Hon, no bench-pressing Jettas,” Mike reminded her.
Everyone looked at them in surprise until Carl chuckled and said, “I don’t think I’ll ever fail to forget that day.”
“Hey, I’m just a weakling, it’s not like I can actually juggle the thing – just lift it clear.”
After another uncomfortable pause, Ernie was the one that voiced it: “You’re…not kidding, are you?”
DJ had the good sense to be embarrassed about her statement, while Mike put an arm around her and said, “Her particular subspecies can usually lift close to two tons on average, but since she grew up here without magic, she’s extremely weak in comparison.”
DJ nodded. “I can only lift just over one horsepower – about a third of a ton total.”
Ernie grinned. “Mikey, do yourself a favor and don’t arm wrestle her over who’s doing the dishes.”
It was then that the rest realized that not everyone in Debbie’s party had went upstairs. The man looked at everyone and said, “Sorry. Uh, mother is, er, a bit worse than, ah, usual, as you can see. She, well, really doesn’t mean, um, to hurt anyone, and, uh….”
“Joe, she just insulted everyone here, not the least of which were both my wife and DJ,” Chaz spoke out. “I appreciate that you and Mary are here to keep her reined in, but…look, I just don’t think this is a good time right now.”
“No, um, you’re right, ah, of course. It, uh, never really is.” He then looked to Hope and DJ and said, “I, eh, would, um, especially like to apologize, er, to you two. I don’t, um, I, uh, I don’t….”
“Water under the bridge,” DJ said, offering a hand. To her surprise, Joe took and shook, then offered the same to Hope. She did the same, and the room relaxed.
“Well, now that that headache’s done, I’m thinking we can go get a Christmas tree,” Mike announced.
“Um, I think Grandma and Grandpa have a couple of artificial ones,” Shelby pointed out.
“Yes, but having DJ tear one down with her bare hands from a local tree farm is a much better way for her to work out her aggression than weightlifting Chaz’ rental car,” he said with a smirk.
She leaned into him. “See? He knows me well.”
Several minutes and a drive later, nearly all had traveled to Cedarburg, save for Debbie and the grandparents, in order to get the tree. Settling at the Winter Wonderland tree farm, they spent a while arguing over the perfect tree; as per every Christmas tree discussion through time immortal, somehow it all broke down into a gender squabble: the men wanted the largest tree possible, while the women wanted the fullest one possible. It took nearly an hour of driving the farm staff up the wall before they found the perfect tree, on the far side of the lot.
And now all of them stood before the tree, gazing at its verdant majesty. It was beautiful, serene.
DJ decided it was going down in one blow.
As she handed her cane and coat to Mike while she took the axe from an incredulous, muscular man who was completely surprised that the small wisp of an alien was claiming she would take it down in one blow, Mike whispered in her ear, “Don’t overdo it, okay? Everyone here knows you’re strong; no need to show off.”
“I’m not.”
“Look, I’m just worried about your balance. Remember, you did just get your tail injured.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “Trust me,” was all she said.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he murmured as he stepped back.
The farm employee took one last look at her, then back at Mike. “Look, sir, I don’t know anything about alie…er, ponies, but you sure she’s gonna be okay?”
As if in response, DJ hefted the axe and looked at her target, a tree trunk roughly eight inches in diameter. Checking briefly to see that the axe was ready to go, she put much more than usual strength behind the swing. The sap-stained white ceramic wedge slammed its way through the wooden torso of the tree like a bullet impact, sending shards of bark and splinters flying. The blade came out the other end, the man reaching out to catch the tree, keeping the look of incredulity from his face as DJ set the axe down and theatrically bowed to everyone…just as her tail caught up with the physics of the swing, sending a sharp spike of pain that sent her tripping to the ground.
Mike looked back at the employee. “I’m not really sure how to answer that,” he said.
“Furball, we know you’re an adult and capable of taking care of yourself, but don’t overdo it. Remember when you were eleven and your father threw out his back getting a Christmas tree for us because he wanted to be impressive? Same thing.”
DJ was both touched and exasperated to hear her mother’s concerns over the phone. “Look, Mom…it wasn’t my fault, okay? And I am being careful.”
“I just want to make sure, sweetie. When Mike told us you got hurt, obviously we were worried.”
“Well, he has a flair for the melodramatic at times,” she grumbled, giving her betrothed an annoyed look; he just stuck his tongue out at her and went back to helping put ornaments on the tree. “But I promise that I’m okay. I have everyone here looking out for me. Don’t worry.”
“Well, I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing. Remember your father and I love you.”
“Thanks, Mom. Love you guys too. Bye.” She clicked the phone off and slumped back in the chair, then looked at Mike. “Thanks – now my parents are freaking out.”
He rolled his eyes. “And you say I’m melodramatic. But you have to promise me you’re not going to skylark again. You could have fallen on the axe and injured yourself. I don’t think anyone was expecting you to black out like that.”
“Look, neither was I, okay? There are just some things that even I don’t know about my physiology. Maybe I got a nerve bruise that I wasn’t expecting. Either way, I’ll be fine,” she promised.
A voice called down from upstairs: “Joseph, are those malfeasants gone yet?”
“Or not,” DJ amended, hissing through her teeth.
“Mother, ah, both of them are, uh, down here an—”
“Say no more,” Debbie said sharply. “I shall remain up here with my parents to ensure they aren’t…tainted by—”
“Oh, Christ, give it a rest already, lady!” Hope shouted upstairs, angry. Chaz merely gave his wife a look of apology, then put his arm around her in silent support.
“Joseph, I could have sworn I heard someone unimportant. Well, I shall remain up here to protect my parents regardless.” Nothing more to say – or perhaps not wanting to deal with anything further – she left the staircase.
“Sweetheart, do you really mind if I kill your aunt?” Hope asked her husband.
“Oh, you shouldn’t bother yourself with that,” DJ said sarcastically. “After all, I’m just the family pet and becau—” She would have said more, but the look on Mike’s face shut her up. “Sorry, hon.”
“No, you’ve every right to be mad, both of you,” Mike said. “Dad, Uncle Ernie, you guys have gotta do something about this. We can’t put up with this the whole week.”
“Mike’s right,” Ernie told his brother. “We’re trying to spend a holiday week with our parents that might be the last, not drive them to the grave even earlier.”
“I’ll talk to them,” Carl said, heading up the stairs.
“Well, before I get downgraded to muppet, I think I’m going to go take a walk. I think I could use some time to think out a scene for my next book.”
“You’re a writer?” Joe popped up, his attention now caught.
“Yeah, I have a couple of books under my belt.” She noticed that he was being a lot less of a wallflower now that some apparent common ground was reached. “I take it you’re a writer?”
“Um, just a western novel, nothing, er, serious.”
She smiled. “We’ll talk later, and if you’ve got your manuscript, I’ll be happy to read it. But for now, I’ve got a date with the lakeside and my fiancé.”
“Mah nà, mah nà, Do do de do do,” the humanized pony hummed to herself as the couple walked along the shore of Lake Michigan. The pair were trudging through the snow, and though the weather was a bitingly cold 21 degrees at the moment, neither minded as it gave the two time to be together.
“You’re in a better mood now,” he noted.
“Because I’m away from that whole mess. I’ll be honest, hon: if she keeps this up, I’m not sure that I’d want her at the wedding.”
“Well, if it matters any, she stayed away from Chaz and Hope’s wedding since they got married in San Francisco. They got married there because of the view; however, my aunt thinks of the town as something far different.”
DJ’s eyes lit up. “Of course – who doesn’t think of Ghirardelli?” When Mike playfully pushed her, she winked and said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. So I’m guessing she won’t bother coming to ours, then?”
“Oh, more than that: she’ll pester everyone in the family not to come. Unfortunately for her, nobody listens. Oh, and speaking of marriage, I talk to the detailer in April about my next duty station. They’ll probably send me to a seagoing unit, most likely a ship. Anywhere you’d like to go? Maybe Hawaii?”
“What about San Diego? Nice place, I know the area, and since I have family in the LA area, it shouldn’t be a problem in case things get hairy for us.”
“Well, I’m hoping to avoid a carrier, to be honest. Kinda prefer small boys: cruisers, destroyers and frigates. I’ll be home more often, then.”
“Yes, with your alien wife,” she said offhandedly.
He nodded slightly; maybe now she was going to tell him what was bothering her. “DJ….”
“I know you’ll always see me as who I am; I’m just wondering if those down at the base will.”
“You know what? That’s their problem, not yours.” He stopped by a tree, then looked at her again. “DJ…don’t let the kind of person my aunt is get to you.”
She seemed to deflate. “Sorry, it’s just…well, since the custody battle in Equestria, I’ve led a charmed life. Everyone back home in Winchester knew who I was; and they had years to adjust, so to them I’m no different than anyone else in town. And for the past six years, I’ve lived in Southern California, which probably should be classified as a separate planet, so I fit in there as well.”
“Um…last time I checked, San Dog is part of SoCal. And you say you know the place, right?”
“Well, kinda sorta. Me and Logan tried to go down to Tijuana back in October for some gig he was deejaying at – and yes, he joked about that all the way. Well, they wouldn’t let me across the border because apparently a driver’s license isn’t enough to prove I’m American and not Equestriani – and the Mexicans don’t have diplomatic relations with Equestria yet, apparently. So we ended up goofing off in San Diego, so I am familiar with it. But…I’m sorry, it’s just….”
“‘It’s just’ nothing, hon. It’s clearly bothering you and I want you to tell me.”
She was quiet for a long time before finally speaking up. “How do you do it? We’ve been together for ten years now and I love you for every moment of that, but…that’s also ten years you’ve had to put up with insults, threats and worse. I know you didn’t want to get married just after college, because…well, if I can’t get into Mexico, imagine the hell I’d be going through in Bahrain. And you wouldn’t let me deal with it, so you went alone. And you’ve had two years of it there. And you had four years of it at the Academy. And the times at home that I assume you didn’t tell me about, though I’m guessing that was few and far between.”
Mike led her over to a bench, dusting off the snow. He took her face in his gloved hands, his hazel eyes locked onto her violet ones. “DJ…I’ll be honest: it hasn’t been a cakewalk. You were there the very first time I had to deal with it. And you’ve seen several times when I have. But you haven’t seen them all. There’ve been times now and then where I’ve gotten it bad, I won’t lie. Times I won’t tell anyone about, because it’s something I have to face.
“But you have to understand something: I don’t care. I don’t give a damn about what they call me. You were right there when Muldaur called me a horsefucker, and earlier today when my aunt accused me of bestiality. And I think the biggest blow to my ego was when Julie Ladd, one of the other ensigns I work with at Fifth Fleet, pretty much announced our relationship in the worst possible manner because I intended to stay in the relationship I have with you instead of going in her direction: she went and ordered me a lifetime subscription to Farm Animals Monthly – and yes, that’s a real magazine and no you don’t want to know what’s in it.”
“You’ve never told me that before,” she said, her heart beating at a furious pace. She reached out to caress his face, her hoofspace feeling the coolness of his cheek in the winter air. “Why didn’t you? You’re not alone, love.”
“Because it’s not important to me, DJ. You are a person; the law said so even before I met you. So I’m dating and marrying a person, just like me. And even if it wasn’t? I still love you, and I’d fight for you. I don’t care if I’m the first person who ever loved a non-human, I don’t care if I’m the first person who’s marrying a non-human—”
“Uh, Lyra and Paul have been married for three years now, hon.”
“Thanks; you just ruined my whole epic speech.” He threw up his hands in mock-exasperation. “But seriously: he can do that, because I was the one taking the first blows. And you know what? I’m fine with that. Because of all those insults and jibes, he and Lyra are happy…and I couldn’t be happy with anyone else but you.”
She smiled, and it was the greatest thing in the world to him. He leaned forward to kiss her, their cool lips touching in the winter evening. The snow began to die down and the pair looked at the brilliantly beautiful night sky, a canopy of stars covering the dome of the sky.
The following morning, a half-awake Mike came walking down the stairs, headed into the kitchen. At the table were his parents and a huge pot of coffee, as well as plates filled with the detritus of eggs, sausage and biscuits and gravy. Behind the counter was his uncle, cooking up a small storm. “Hey, just brewed a fresh pot,” Ernie said to his nephew. “You hungry?”
“Thanks,” he said, sitting down at the table and pouring himself a cup while Ernie got busy at the stove. Looking at his parents, he asked, “Anyone seen DJ?"
In response, Lila pointed behind her. Outside, a very industrious DJ, Shelby and Hope were building something that looked like the remains of snowman horrifically fused with a snow fort. “You missed the snowball fight a few minutes ago,” Lila told her son. “Not sure who started it, but it ended when all three collapsed in the snow.”
He watched the three adult women just goofing off like school age girls, an innocence lost to them by at least a decade and a half. And, he had to admit, it was good to see her smile again. Not that she was constantly dour and depressing, but the attack had taken her innocence and easygoing attitude a decade ago, and though she’d gone a long way towards recovering there were still occasional signs of her pain.
Ernie chuckled, looking at his nephew as he set a plate down in front of him. “Yeah, that’s the look of a man in love if I ever saw one. Kinda reminds me of when I first met your aunt, Mike. Mom and Dad kept teasing me that I was the luckiest man in the world that I’d landed someone as beautiful as Danielle. And the life we had together was great. I hope that you and your girl can have longer than she and I did.”
“Never thought about marrying again, Ernie?” Lila asked.
He shook his head. “It was hard enough raising Roy and Riley as a single parent, and by the time I blinked my kids were adults marrying their own spouses, and life had passed me by. I’m sure I could meet someone, but all I think about is Dani and the years I had with her; I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone like that again. All I can hope is that Roy has that same kind of life with Anais, and Riley the same with Corey. And the same, of course, goes for Joe and Mary, Chaz and Hope, and now you and DJ – you two have it the hardest of all, because of your military career, Mike.”
“Thanks.” The fact that his uncle hadn’t mentioned the other, more obvious, significant difficulty in their relationship was another reminder of how just in a couple of days that his extended family had accepted DJ into their lives. But that also left one that would never do so. “So…where’s Aunt Debbie?”
“Took Mom and Dad out shopping and errands,” Carl said. “Speaking of which, I talked to Mom and Dad last night. They know about DJ and they’ll try to talk some sense into Debbie, though you know as well as I do the chances of that are minimal.”
“So nothing changes, then,” Mike sighed.
“And I’m sorry about that, Mike,” a voice called from the stairs. The four looked up to see Joe and his wife walking downstairs. The two were dressed far less conservatively than yesterday, and were much calmer. “Believe me, neither Mary nor I have anything against DJ. In fact, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hit her up later regarding my own book.”
“So you can talk,” Mike seethed. “Not in the mood to stutter anymore?”
“Mike,” Lila began, but Joe shook his head.
“No, Aunt Lila. I deserve that. It’s so much easier to deal with Mother when I’m, uh, talking like, er, this and, uh, that, because it takes me so long to get an answer out and she’s impatient enough, so she doesn’t bother with me. And she doesn’t bother with Mary at all, because, well, Mary just ignores her. But you have to understand: my father left us when I was a kid because he couldn’t take any of Mother’s crap. My sister ran away, and we don’t know where she is – and that’s compounded by Mother insisting she doesn’t exist.”
“Gee, that sounds familiar,” Mike interjected cryptically, but Joe didn’t bother to ask.
“But anyway, if I left her, sure, my life would be a hell of a lot better…but then who will redeem her? She’s got no friends, and no life. She sits at home, watching TV, living off her trust fund and not giving a damn about the world.”
“Man, I couldn’t live like that,” Ernie said. “And you let her?”
“Uncle Ernie, who better to watch over her? I have faith that someday Mother will realize what she’s done and someone has to be there for her when that happens, because it will be very ugly otherwise.” He turned back to Mike. “But I want to apologize to you, Mike. I know DJ may be an alien, but from what I can tell, she’s far more humane than my own mother is capable of.”
“Thanks, but I’m not the one you should be telling this to,” Mike said, pointing behind him. Joe turned around and found DJ standing in the door, leaning on her cane. Behind her, Hope and Shelby stood for support, both physical and moral.
“Well, that was fun,” she said, grinning like a lunatic as she walked right into the house and dived at her fiancé’s coffee. “Man, ya shoulda been there. Your sister can throw a snowball like it’s a fastball or something. Fortunately,” she said, holding up her cane, “Dad taught me how to play softball.”
Shelby shrugged. “What can I say? It’s a talent.”
“You heard us, didn’t you,” Mike stated, clearly not a question. After DJ was silent for a second, he said, “Yup, I knew.”
“Joe,” DJ began, not looking at the person she was addressing, “I appreciate what you’re trying to say and I appreciate that you have nothing against me. And I have nothing against you.” She then turned to face him, and Mike reached out for her, knowing she needed it. “But your mother….”
“DJ, I’m sorry,” Joe said.
She shook her head. “No. It’s…I know what you’re trying to say, but you have to understand something: I’m not a human. As much as I live like one and associate with them to the near exclusion of my own kind, I’m not human. But I am a person. Even before the legal decision years ago, I was a person because two people decided that I would be their daughter. My mother and father made me a person, and no one has the right to take that away from me.
“I can deal with my tail being stepped on,” she said, her right arm gesturing down to her mangled appendage. “I can deal with insults. But I refuse to be treated as anything less than a person. I am a human being – well, sorta – and I deserve to be treated as one. And for that matter, so does Hope. She’s even got me beat on the human part and she isn’t treated any better.”
“Thanks, DJ,” Hope said as she moved over to the table.
“Well, that’s my cue to go shopping for your gift, hon,” Mike said as she got up from the table.
She looked at him funny. “I thought you got me something from Bahrain?”
He grinned. “I did. I just…some idea came into my head, so…the guys are going shopping.”
Carl nodded. “Good idea, son. I have to get something for your mother as well so she doesn’t kill me. Plus, it’ll give us all a chance to spend some male bonding time together.”
“I’m guessing that means football game at the bar,” Lila said, theatrically rolling her eyes and sighing.
“Well, that gives me enough time to go over Joe’s manuscript, assuming you have it here.”
He blinked, surprised; that he wasn’t expecting. “You meant that?”
She nodded. “I said I would, and I’m a woman of my word. Besides, it’ll give me something to do while I start preps.”
“Prep for what?”
Her grin was wide. “Tamales! Family tradition and now I get to bother a whole new family with it.”
The smile on Hope’s face was equally infectious. “Fortunately, they’ve got some cornmeal we can use.”
With that, the ladies started to invade the kitchen while the men started getting ready for their trip out. The ladies decided on a joint effort of tamales and peppermint bark brownies, and quickly dividing the whole of the kitchen between the two parts, the manse was soon host to a variety of very interesting scents and aromas.
“So what do you think?” DJ looked up from her laptop and found, of all people, Joe’s wife Mary looking at her. It was the first time the humanized pony had heard the other woman speak, and in truth DJ was beginning to wonder if the other woman was actually mute.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve heard you utter a word since you got here,” DJ accused. “Not that I blame you: your mother-in-law, I’ve noticed, is a total headache.”
Mary nodded. “Truthfully? I hate my mother-in-law. Very wrong of me, truthfully, but...I support my husband in trying to, ah, rehabilitate his mother. Even though I don’t think Debbie’s worth it, personally.”
“Some people just aren’t worth the effort, believe me,” DJ responded, the memory of an angry unicorn raging against her loved ones burning itself in her mind. “Sometimes it’s just better to give up.” She paused, pushing the laptop to the side and looked at Mary. “But if we did that…if we never reached for forgiveness, we can’t truly call ourselves human.”
Mary smiled softly. “I don’t mean this as an insult, but…for someone who’s an alien to this world you’re probably one of the most human of people I know. And I know a lot who aren’t, believe me.”
“Well, I was raised here on Earth, the Alien Girl. All I know is just being human. I met the other members of my species not much later than first contact.”
“What I meant was that you sound like you’ve had someone to forgive and that you’ve done so. Not very many people would.”
And I still haven’t, DJ said to herself, bitterly, not her. And I’m not sure if I ever will. But there was someone she had to forgive and had done so. “Because of who I am, I’ve had a lot of people wrong me in life. And I could easily wallow in anger and pity. But I couldn’t be able to move on if I did. So I chose to forgive, because otherwise bullies and bigots would rule my life. And I love my family, friends and my fiancé too much to ever let that happen.”
“Well, I hope someday I can be as magnanimous as you are. So then, back to my question: what did you think? Joe’s been working on that book for the past three years, and…well, I’m no book critic, but I think he’s got a shot.”
DJ looked back at the screen of the manuscript entitled Clockwork Flats. He’d told her it was a Western with a slight fantasy bent to it, though what he’d created was more properly termed “steampunk.” “Well, to be honest, it flows well, but will need another round of editing. I can look at this right now and know that my editor would ask for another round, as well as some better dialog for the hero – Marshall Tucker might be squeaky clean, but he reads like a bad Lone Ranger ripoff otherwise.”
“Oh.” Mary was downcast – clearly Joe had worked on the novel quite a bit and based on her response, Mary was very supportive of her husband’s attempt to break into the world of writing.
“Hey, all in all from what I’m reading, it’s a good book otherwise. Not everyone’s going to hit it out of the ballpark the first time around. Hell, even my first novel took three versions before it passed my publisher, and so many people were surprised by that they accused me of nepotism since my parents are authors as well. But if Joe’s serious about this, I’ll ask my Dad to look at this and if he likes it, pass it on to his editor – if I pass it to Marcus it might look like nepotism, so let’s get one degree away from that.”
“Thanks. I’m sure he would apprecia—” The sound was interrupted by the sudden crash of metal against something followed by an earth-shattering scream. DJ was on her feet in an instant, racing from the dining room to the kitchen, with Mary close behind her. What the pair saw was nothing short of horrific. Hope was holding her arm, trying not to scream through clenched teeth and teary eyes, the steamer pot’s contents of boiling water and tamales on the floor. Hope’s entire right side was soaked and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened.
“I’ll call 911!” Mary said, rushing to the nearest phone.
Meanwhile, DJ moved to the side of Hope; the Hispanic woman was starting to go into shock. “C’mon, sit. We’re gonna get you to the hospital. What happened?”
“I’ll tell you what happened.” Both women looked at the doorframe, to find Debbie standing there. “It’s that filthy intrusion of demerited culture being placed into this house! Why, who would even eat tho—”
DJ had had enough. She brought Hope over to the nearest chair, and then wheeled to look at Debbie with angry eyes. “You listen here, you Goddamn bigot. I have had enough of your shit, got that?” And to make her point, DJ punched down on the kitchen island, full-force. The two-inch thick granite top shattered under her blow, followed by the heavy oak construction of the rest of the item. The look in DJ’s eyes was murderous as she said, “That’s your final warning, you bitc—”
“DJ, stop!” She felt Shelby’s arms wrap around her; out of the corner of her eye she could see Lila moving to Hope’s aid. “It’s not worth it, Dee, it’s not,” Shelby said, hugging her future sister-in-law for both comfort and restraint.
“What happened?” Lila asked, noting DJ’s destruction and Hope completely down as the wail of sirens started to sound in the distance.
Eight in the evening. Aurora Medical Center. Emergency room. Several people in the waiting room, anticipating the status of a loved one. It was a good reminder of how much DJ hated hospitals, for all the times she’d spent in one as a test subject and trying to prove her worth to her adopted species – and the grand insult of that was that half the time it wasn’t even really at a hospital, but the special room Dr. Hilton had built for her at the vet clinic so long ago. She was ever grateful to him for that, even more so when he hung up his vet labcoat and went back to medical school to become the first doctor specializing in equine-based sapient lifeforms. But even despite all that, she’d developed a healthy dislike for hospitals.
But in the meanwhile, it was just waiting. While Shelby, Carl and Lila had went up to give both Chaz and Hope moral support, it left Joe, Mary, Mike and DJ sitting in the waiting room – waiting. Of Debbie there was no sign, her decision to have to remain at home with her ailing parents being a little too suspect for DJ’s tastes. Fortunately, Ernie had also stayed behind just in case, having expected Debbie to poison the well further.
Plus, there was the nagging feeling that DJ had on occasion that had she been a little more human, she might have made it to Hope’s side faster. If she had real hands and feet instead of technical fore- and hindhooves, maybe, just maybe….
“It wasn’t your fault, hon,” Mike told her. “Mary told us that you were the first one to rush to Hope’s side. Believe me, no one’s blaming you at all.”
“I know,” she lied, feeling miserable. “And…I’m sorry about the granite island. That must’ve cost a fortune.”
“Islands can be replaced. People can’t,” a voice said, and she looked up to see Carl and Lila standing there. “Doctor just told Chaz Hope would have been in seriously worse shape if you hadn’t moved as fast as you did. As it is, she’s going to have second degree burns over her arm and the side of her body – it’s going to take at least a month to heal.”
DJ looked aghast at that; her eyes started to tear again. “Oh, God – I didn’t move fast enough.” She buried her face in her hands.
“No, DJ, you did.” She looked up, and it was Chaz. The look on his face was one of barely controlled anger. “And I have you to thank for that. If you hadn’t been fast enough, Hope….” He turned away briefly, not even wanting to think about it, then instead bent down to her level on the chair, hugging her. “I owe you, and I can’t thank you enough.”
“You’re welcome, always,” she said, returning the embrace. As he finally released, she asked, “What happened?”
His eyes lit with a serious anger. “Aunt Debbie was taunting Hope about the tamales and how she was ‘ruining the culture’ of the house. She got Hope agitated enough that she accidently brushed against the boiler and burnt herself; then her arm reflexed and smacked the thing, causing it to tip over. One in a million accident.” He then turned to look at his father. “Dad, I’ve had enough of Aunt Debbie. Either she leaves or I will. For fuck’s sake, Hope’s going to miss Christmas with us – the whole Goddamn reason we came!”
“She is?” Mike asked, feeling his older brother’s anger and wanting to join along. Hope had offered to stay and watch the tamales cook because DJ had promised to read Joe’s manuscript; it could have easily been Hope wanting to grade more of her students’ work and DJ ending up now in the hospital – and with DJ’s temper, things might have been much worse.
“Yeah. Doctor told me and Shelby that they want to keep Hope for the rest of the week to make sure that it doesn’t set into third degree burns. The earliest they can release her is the 27th.”
Joe stood up. “Chaz, I’ll ta—”
Chaz turned on his cousin in a heartbeat. “Bullshit, Joe. Frankly, I don’t trust you to do anything right now. You let your mother walk all over you and your wife, and you think I’m going to let you deal with this?”
Carl reeled him back. “Ernie and I will talk to Mom and Dad.” He shook his head. “And I never thought it would ever get to this.”
Back at home, Debbie looked at the shattered remains of the island that had been in their family for a hundred years. Their great-great-granduncle had installed it for his wife, a woman who had loved cooking. And now it was shards and wreckage, all because of that…alien creature and its obviously inhuman strength.
“Don’t you dare,” Ernie said, looking up at her as he cleaned up the mess. “I know what you’re thinking, Debbie. And, older sister or not, you frankly sicken me.”
“I sicken you? What that freak did to the island could have happened to me if—”
“No, no it wouldn’t have. Despite my well-known cynicism in business, I have a pretty good feel for people; when you’re dealing with the kind of money that we do for our family, I have to. And Mike picked a winner. She’s more human than many of the people I work with, and people have snapping points. And this—” he said, gesturing to the remains of the antique, “—is a person at her snapping point. One that I know you pushed her to.”
Debbie crossed her arms. “Mark my words: I refuse to be related to trash like that. At least…what’s her name…is human. Degenerate, but human. That…thing…doesn’t deserve to be on our world. What, you don’t think I know all about her? Oh, I do, believe it or not. Caused a ruckus for years in the courts because some Republican lawyer wanting to push for Senate used it as a ‘person.’ Then just five years later, her fellow aliens invaded our planet to try to get her back – supposedly, anyway. And almost started a nuclear war doing so!”
Ernie looked at his sister with new eyes; he knew she was far gone, but had never known how deep the madness had run. “A nuclear war? Oh, please. And DJ’s whole life, from what Carl told me, was half decided upon by the courts. No person, human or not, deserves that kind of pain. It’s already hard enough on her that she had to do so! And let me tell you, if she had ever met my son and they wanted to marry, they would have had my blessing immediately. Just like I’m happy for Mike and DJ. And if you can’t accept our nephew’s happiness, then I think you seriously need to reassess your priorities and if you want to be a part of this family.”
A few hours later, the rest of them trudged into the house, exhausted. Chaz had decided to stay there at the hospital with Hope; Shelby offered to do so as well to give her older brother support. As they entered, Ernie sat on a chair in the foyer. “You know, you’ve got one hell of a punch, DJ. Remind me to never get on your bad side.”
“I’m sorry about the island. I’ll be happy to replace it.”
Ernie waved it off. “Things can be replaced; people can’t. The fact that you were there to help Hope is more than enough for me. Besides, I was kinda thinking about getting a new one anyway, to be honest. The granite’s old enough that it might have radon or something concentrated, I dunno. You just made it quicker to get rid of.”
Carl looked at his younger brother. “Where’s Debbie?”
“Already in bed. We had a fight, and you can guess what it’s about.” Turning back to DJ, he said, “I wasn’t aware that you were responsible for a near-nuclear war between us and Equestria.”
DJ was taken aback by that. “Equestria doesn’t have nuclear weapons; from when we went there, I’m frankly surprised it has indoor plumbing. It’s like the Disneyland version of Merrie Olde England. Where the hell did you get that from?”
“Debbie mentioned it.” He held up a tablet, shaking his head. “Neo group in Idaho. Claims you were sent here as the harbinger of the destruction of mankind. Really sick stuff.” Ernie looked at his brother. “We…we can’t tell Mom and Dad about this. It’ll kill them.”
“I’ll kill her at this rate, Ernie,” Carl seethed. “She’s a danger – she already hospitalized Hope! And who’s next? DJ? Then after that? We know she doesn’t like Lila, either. Where does it end?”
At this point Lila intervened. “Look, let’s get some sleep and think about it in the morning. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve and we should all go visit Hope.” Nobody argued with that, so they all headed towards their rooms.
Mike, very much a light sleeper, woke up at three in the morning from the flickers of light. He opened his eyes, only to find….
“Twilight?”
Framed by the moonlight coming through the window, the lavender unicorn stood there in a sweater and jeans, looking at him. She was haloed by motes of burgundy light; from what Mike knew, that was a clear sign of a magic spell having been cast – the only way she could have gotten here. “Oh. Caught.” She gave him a slight smile. “I guess I’m not as quiet as I should have been.”
He turned; DJ was sleeping like the dead. “Should I wake her up?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, that’s okay. The gifts were supposed to be a surprise for both of you anyway.”
“No, I mean—”
“I know what you mean, Mike. What I’m doing is teleporting in to drop off the gifts everyone had for you and her for Hearths Warming Eve. The Equestriani Yuletide is roughly around the same time as the human one.” She shrugged, adding, “Well, not all humans, I know, but….”
“Well, this is a surprise, seeing you here. I really should wake her up, by the way. She would want to know you’re here, Twi.”
“It’s a secret, Mike; I’d appreciate it if you kept it as such,” Twilight said as she sat down in the chair by the window. “I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but I’m happy my niece has found someone as special as you, and despite all that happened to you both, you two are still together.”
“I love her,” Mike told DJ’s aunt. “In the end, that’s all I can really say.”
“It’s more than the enough, believe me. Give her my regards when she wakes, if you would.”
“Don’t you want to tell her yourself?” Mike asked, wondering why Twilight was being so secretive.
“Can’t stay long, to be honest. I’m not even here, really,” she admitted. “Astral projection, combined with tactile fields. Trying out a new spell and I couldn’t think of a better way to do so.” To prove it, her body flickered and she walked through the table, standing in its center.
Magic, of course, Mike acknowledged; Twilight’s raison d’ etre. He also wanted to talk to her about what was going on and get a fresh outsider’s opinion, but he had no idea how long the spell would last. “Then give our regards to everyone back in Equestria and tell them we miss them,” he said finally, realizing he would have to figure out the issue himself.
“Don’t worry, I will. And though she doesn’t know it yet, I was going to swing by her apartment for New Year’s Eve since I have to attend a conference in Ventura the following week. So she’ll get to see me soon enough. But I have to go now. Remember that I love you both. Bye.” And with a violet flash, Twilight was gone.
A few seconds later, DJ finally stirred. “Mike, something up?”
“Oh, no, hon. Go back to bed. Just Twilight.”
DJ looked at the clock. “Um…dawn’s not for several more hours.”
“Well, it’s well past that in Doha, and I’m still on Bahraini time,” he said, a soft smile on his face. “Watch officers like me have weird shifts, so Sailors sleep light. You know that.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “I know. Let’s get back to sleep.” DJ rolled over and was soon asleep again; Mike took the time to get out of bed, throw on a robe and slippers and carry the gifts downstairs. Soon, the glistening, magically-wrapped gifts were embedded amongst the others, waiting their turn to be presented.
Hope’s eyes were full of pain, anger and sorrow. “I’m sorry, love, but I can’t…I won’t forgive her.” Hope lay on the bed, heavily bandaged and in agony. “But you,” she said, to DJ, “I can’t ever thank enough.”
DJ nodded, relieved that Hope was okay. “Hey, we’re family, right? I only wish I’d been faster.”
“No, you lifted an arm to help me while Debbie was egging it on. I could have been in so much worse shape if it wasn’t for you, DJ. I owe you. I mean that.”
“Well, we’ll be by every day until you’re out,” Shelby said. “I wish we could get you out sooner, but doctor’s orders are doctor’s orders.”
Chaz kissed his wife on the head. “Well, we should let you get some sleep.”
“Oh, you’re not going anywhere, hon,” she said, reaching up with her good arm to caress his face. “I’d like at least someone to spend time with me, and as my duly designated husband, that’s you.”
“Then let’s leave the lovebirds be, shall we?” Shelby said, motioning to the door. Mike and DJ nodded, and soon the three were gone.
The drive back to the Hengst manor was quiet and subdued. “So, where’s everyone else?”
“Mom, Dad and Uncle Ernie are talking to Grandma and Grandpa about Aunt Debbie. Joe and Mary decided to stay behind in case they get sick of her and kick her out. Personally, I hope they do,” Shelby said, the look on her face sober. “What she did to Hope…it’s unconscionable.”
“Honestly? I hope they don’t,” DJ responded. Both Hengsts looked at her with surprise, and she smiled. “You’ll see,” was all the humanized pony could say.
“What is DJ up to?” Lila asked Shelby.
“Honestly? I don’t know, Mom. DJ insisted no one go into the kitchen because she’s cooking something special for everyone. She only asked that I make sure that everyone stays out. So it’s me out here at one end and Mike on the inside sitting by the other door. Mike did, however, assure me that Dee can cook, so there’s that. Don’t worry; I’m sure DJ’s got everything under control or at least is pretending like it.”
As Lila walked away from the door, she went over to her husband. “Apparently DJ’s up to something.”
“I know. I’m halfway tempted to call Matt and find out what if this is normal.”
Lila smiled. “I already did. Anna says, and I quote, ‘You’ll see.’ Remind me why we’re friends with them again?” she teased.
Meanwhile, within the kitchen, the MP3 player blared some song by Little Boots; Mike recalled hearing on a station in downtown Doha a few weeks back. It was a song from before he was born, all the way back from the 2000s, if he recalled correctly. But of course DJ would have it in her collection, and she seemed to be in her element as she danced to and fro in the kitchen, messing with various things at once.
“You sure you don’t need help?” he asked as she merrily moved around the kitchen, effortlessly cracking two eggs into a bowl and then went diving for the flour.
“Hon, trust me. I’ve got it under control,” DJ’s voice said from underneath the kitchen counter, “though I’m finding it a bit hard to not be able to use my tail.”
“You heard Erica: it has to stay wrapped for a week. Speaking of which, remind me to change the bandages tonight and check it.”
“Thanks.” She found what she was looking for and made a beeline straight for the fridge to dig something else out. “I hope your grandparents will be able to join us for dinner tonight. I mean, I’ve been here three days already and I still have yet to run into them. They probably think I’m a recluse or something.”
“Not at all, hon. They’re just like your grandparents: not as young as they used to be. And before you say it, yes I know that both sets of your grandparents are still in their mid-eighties, but mine are in their early nineties and from what I’m told, life at that point takes a lot out of you just living.”
“I suppose. But I’m doing my best to come up with the best Christmas dinner I can for your family, hon.”
Mike gave her that smile she always loved. “Trust me, DJ: my family’s going to love it.”
“What is this filth?” Debbie said as she looked at the dining room table. “I refuse to eat this…horse feed!” She looked at the table, and was shocked at the display before her. A bunch of dishes she couldn’t identify combined with ones that were clearly real food, but probably given some disgusting and/or wretched spin by that…thing. Was that…stuffing? If so, why did it have…something that looked like meat? And the oblong things wrapped in corn husks – clearly those “tamaley” things from yesterday.
“It’s not horse food,” Carl said, trying to keep his temper as Lila laid a hand on his. “DJ apparently took it upon herself to cook dinner for everyone tonight. Not sure why she did, but I think you should try it.”
“Yeah, this looks like seriously good eats!” Shelby perked up. “Someone pass me a tamale! Oh, and…Mike what’s that?”
“Chorizo cornbread stuffing,” Mike clarified. “Dish from DJ’s family. I have no idea where she got chorizo, but I like it.”
Debbie stuck a spoon into a reddish-brown glop; it smelled like peanuts, tomatoes and…what the hell was that? “What is this tripe?”
“It’s not tripe, trust me on that,” Mike replied. “She’s probably saving the menudo for the morning. As to what that is, it’s domeda, a Gambian peanut butter and tomato stew with chicken and the like. Knowing her, she probably made it for me, since she knows I like it.” Mike picked up his mother’s plate and reached for the ladle. “Care to try some, Mom?”
“Coming through!” The doorway to the dining room burst open and out walked DJ, carrying a huge ham, walking around the table in a theatrical manner. She placed it in the center of the table, and as she did, people got to see what she was dressed in a chef’s outfit complete with toque and a red-and-green Christmas scarf around her neck.
“Where did you get that?” Mike asked.
DJ winked. “A girl’s gotta have her secrets, hon,” as she slipped into the chair right next to him, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Oh, and Shelby, Mike told me that you like cornbread stuffing, so I broke out Dad’s recipe. Admittedly, it’s a Thanksgiving thing, but better to make sure that you were happy.”
“Enough!” Debbie practically launched herself from the chair. “Bad enough that you have this thing trying to poison us, but now she says she’s got family poison recipes? And I’m frankly surprised a beast like you has paren—”
“Don’t. You. Dare. Talk. About. My. Parents!” DJ snarled, rising from her seat. “You can say any and everything you want about me, but the moment you start talking about my Mom and Dad, you have crossed a line I will happily kick your ass to send you back across, got that?” DJ was leaning forward, and from those who knew her well, knew she was keeping a tight lid on her temper even as it was about to explode. “You can’t even hold a candle to compare to my parents, you bitch! My Mom and Dad have always loved and accepted people and extended that love to the two kids they adopted. And they certainly wouldn’t insult anyone who they invited into their home, just as your family did to me. Now whether you like it or not, I’m going to marry Mike, I’m going to be a part of this family, and you’re just going to have to fucking deal with it, got that?”
Debbie was aghast, looking at her family members for succor. “And you’re going to just let her insult me like that?”
“No,” Mike said, rising to join his fiancée. “No, you insulted her first, so it’s justified. Scratch that – you insulted us. Anything said against her, as far as I’m concerned, is against me, too.” He put his arm around DJ, holding her close to him. “And I won’t tolerate another moment of this insult, regardless if you’re my aunt or not.”
“Nor will I,” Shelby said, joining them. “While I don’t know DJ as, um, intimately as Mikey here, she’s like a sister to me and the fact that you’re being such a damn bigot draws the line, Aunt Debbie. You’re the problem, here, not DJ.”
“We agree.” Carl and Lila stood up. “And if they were here, I know Chaz and Hope – who you owe an apology to – agree. She and DJ are members of this family now, and you’ll have to live with it, Debbie.”
“You’re losing ground fast, Debbie.” She turned to her left and found Ernie standing up as well. “I told you before, I’m happy for Mike and Chaz. Why can’t you be? Or at least just accept it.”
And then, the one voice she never expected. “Mother, DJ has been nothing but a charming young woman who makes my cousin happy.” To Debbie’s horror, her own son and daughter-in-law had turned on her, both standing up in support of the pony. “To me, it doesn’t matter who or what DJ is. She and Mike are perfect for each other and that’s nobody’s business but theirs.”
Debbie thrust a righteous finger at the beast standing before her. “You! You’ve turned my whole family against me!”
“No, Deblyn. You did that yourself.” Everyone took a look at the other door to the dining room. There, standing with a quiet dignity were Mike’s grandparents. “My apologies for not seeing you all earlier at once,” he said, with his wife on his arm, “but Ernest seems to feel the need to coddle us in our old age.” He grinned. “Son, I’ve been through enough shit in my life. A little heart attack isn’t gonna keep me down. Besides,” he added, “I wanted to see the girls my grandsons are marrying. I know young Charles is in the hospital with his wife at the moment, but you must be DJ. What’s it stand for?”
She looked at him and saw the same strength she saw in Mike, Carl and other members of Mike’s family. Now I know where he gets it from. “Daisy Jo, sir.”
“Daisy Jo. That’s a beautiful name, miss. And I can see, you are very different – but different isn’t bad,” he said with a smile. “Hell, if we were all the same, my father wouldn’t have slugged it out with the Krauts in World War II. And I didn’t earn my way up to the Yards just to let anyone say otherwise.”
DJ nodded before whispering out of the side of her mouth to Mike, “‘The Yards?’”
“Washington Navy Yards. Grandpa was the third Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy.”
“Third MCPON, huh? Dad’s gonna love hearing that.”
Meanwhile, Charles Hengst wasn’t done just yet. “Deblyn, your mother and I thought we taught you right from wrong, and not to hold anything against anyone unless they deserved it. Young Charles’ wife shouldn’t be held accountable for being Mexican any less than Daisy Jo here should be held accountable for being alien. They were both born that way. But it’s clear that you do.”
“But Dad, I—”
“Deblyn, shut up.” Mike’s grandmother spoke up, and as DJ looked at her, she could see a lot of parallels between Eleanor Hengst and her own grandmothers. “Your father is talking and it’s extremely rude of you to interrupt.”
He nodded at his wife. “Thank you, Ellie. Now then, daughter, I understand you instigated both young women over the past few days and how Hope is injured because of it and Daisy Jo here has been taking the brunt. But that stops, now. I will not allow members of the family to fight with one another, and she will be marrying Michael. You will respect that, or you can leave.” He looked out the window and the snow was falling heavily; there was no way anyone was going to make it anywhere out of the area. Like it or not, Debbie was stuck.
“Yes, Father,” she said, not liking it.
“Now then,” Chuck Hengst said, ushering his wife to the empty spot at the table set for her, “I understand you’re to thank for this blessed feast tonight, young lady. While I will admit it’s not the usual thing we do for Christmas, I recall being on the Shangri-La in ’74, having to sortie fighters between our war in Vietnam and peacekeeping diplomats for the Chinese and Russkies going at it up in Kamchatka. We didn’t have time to stop back in Yoko for our usual supplies, so we were running a little thin. Well, we had one helluva Filipino cook onboard, Master Chief Rosales, and while it was by far and away the least Christmassy dinner I’ve ever seen, I can honestly say it was one of the best, because the MSes turned to like it was no tomorrow. I see that here as well, kiddo. Bravo Zulu to you.”
“Thanks,” DJ replied, blushing. “So, care to say the Grace, sir?”
“Gladly.” The group gave the usual intonation to bless the meal, and then all gave way to a joyful celebration of the evening. Everyone complimented DJ on the food while making jokes to Mike that if she cooked like this on a regular basis, he was going to stop fitting into his uniforms in short order after they wed. And in the center of it all, eating foods she didn’t care for and couldn’t identify while her world broke around her, was Debbie, having somehow slipped from a triumphant return home to see her parents into the worst kind of hell she could imagine.
Into the midnight hours they went, laughing and dancing it up. Debbie, knowing when she wasn’t wanted, went up to her room. The rest scarcely noticed, having fun and talking along, Mike’s grandparents even dancing to some music from their day. Proving himself to be as impish as his descendants, Chuck asked DJ to dance, and she agreed, the two slow dancing for several minutes, the older man complimenting the younger woman on her dancing skills, something he’d thought wasn’t known by young women in this day and age.
“May I cut in?” Mike said, tapping his grandfather on the shoulder.
“She’s your gal, Michael. Treat her well,” Chuck said warmly, handing DJ off to his grandson.
The two danced silently to the music for a few minutes, soaking up each other’s company. After a few, he said, “Well, if it means anything to you, I was talking to Grandma, and she just adores you. She said you’ve got a ‘lot of fire’ in you – whatever that means – and she can’t wait for the grandkids. I had to remind her we’ll probably adopt since our genes are a little different.”
“You never know. With my family – my pony family, that is – anything’s possible. Maybe Twilight will be able to mad scientist something.”
Mike laughed. “Probably. Maybe I should have asked her about that when I had the chance.”
“When was that?”
Mike was about to tell DJ when Shelby called out, “Hey, it’s midnight! Christmas time and time to open the gifts!” With that, the pair stopped the dancing and went over to the tree, where everyone was gathering around the large, heavily decorated tree. But instead of sitting down next to Mike, DJ picked up a present and walked away. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and with no further fanfare, walked upstairs.
“She didn’t,” Shelby said, stunned. “After all Aunt Debbie’s done?”
“And that’s just one of the reasons I love her: because she’s that forgiving,” Mike said, adding, “and it’s one of the things she hates admitting about herself the most. I don’t doubt Matt and Anna taught her how to be that way, because they certainly are. But I think in her case, it’s more that of nature than nurture.”
“How so?” Lila asked.
“Long story, but it has to do with Equestria, Mom. It’s probably best if DJ explains it to you someday.”
In the darkness of her room, Debbie lay on her bed. She would leave tomorrow, by herself if necessary. This wasn’t her family any longer. It had been commandeered by those two degenerates and even her previously steadfast if dull son and his useless wife had now turned against her. Tomorrow she would leave without fanfare and leave them out of her life. After all, she had plenty of others in her life. She had…
Who do I have? she suddenly realized. And then it dawned on her. Her husband had left her a long time ago. Her daughter, Miriam, long since run away and no one had heard from her in ages. And even Joseph was more independent now that he was married, even if Mary was a wallflower. It suddenly dawned on Debbie that for the first time, she was truly alone. Not solitary, as she preferred, but alone, in the middle of the ocean on a lifeboat and with no hope of reaching land, as her father often said.
There was a knock at the door. “What do you want?” she shouted. The door opened, and framed by the light was a devil’s silhouette. Pointed ears, stubby body, missing hands and with a tail. Her devil, the one that had destroyed her ties to her family. “Go away, thing. Or are you here to vex me further? Driving my family away wasn’t enough?”
Instead, the thing set a package down on the bed and said, “Merry Christmas, Debbie.” The thing turned to leave, as Debbie stared at the package.
“Why?” Debbie asked.
“Because my Mom and Dad once told me something: as a minority – as the ultimate minority on the planet for the first fifteen years of my life – I didn’t have the luxury of hating or holding anything against anyone, nor would they let me. And as I grew older, I found out why: hating anyone for the color of their skin or where they came from or whatever – it’s not a luxury, it’s a trap. And Mom and Dad loved me too much to ever let me be ensnared by hate for those reasons.
“Instead, they gave me the best method of countering any bigotry my fellow people gave me: by being the best woman I can be. That’s best woman, not alien or pony. It makes me stand as being better than I have to be, maybe, but it also shows me that they love me enough to engender the best in me that I can be. And at least in that, I refuse to ever let them down.”
“But I….” Debbie was shocked. She never would have expected this from anyone, much less someone not human.
“I know. But I did it anyway, because we’re family. You might not accept that, and I can deal with that. But I love Mike and just a few short years we’ll be married. And in that step, we’ll be family. So I do what I must, because I’ll always do it for him.” And with that she left the room, closing the door and leaving a completely floored Debbie in uncomfortable silence.
DJ left Debbie’s room to find Mike standing by the staircase, leaning against a wall and clearly waiting for her. “Everyone’s waiting for you to come downstairs so we can open the presents, hon. And by the way, I heard everything you said to my aunt.”
“You did?” DJ felt a little self-conscious all of a sudden.
“DJ, you may have way better hearing than I do, but even I can hear a whole conversation in an adjacent room when the door is left open.”
She tapped her hands nervously. “Oh, I can explain, Mike, really,” she started before he laid a gentle finger on her muzzle to stop her from speaking further. Instead, he wordlessly pointed up to the ceiling, where someone had apparently placed a sprig of mistletoe.
“Tradition,” he said, smiling. She could say nothing else as the two lovers kissed, holding each other in a Yuletide love.
The remaining couple of days went by smoothly. Hope got out on the 25th, Christmas Day, and found that everyone had held her presents on standby just for her; DJ was more than happy – this time with help of the other women – to make another huge feast for Hope returning. To their surprise, Hope had been somehow mysteriously cured of her burns – well, at least it was mysterious until she explained.
“Apparently an Equestriani bigwig is touring the US as part of a holiday goodwill tour, and during Christmas she stopped at the hospital for a tour of human medical standards and instead she decided up upend the status quo by using magic to heal as many injuries as possible. It gave the staff fits, since they had to discharge dozens of patients and that’s gotta hurt their bottom line. So I owe…um…let’s see if I got this name right…Princess Mi Amore Cadenza…I think that’s it. Anyway, I owe her for that.”
Mike and DJ looked at each other with knowing glances. “Cadance. Should’ve known.”
“Oh, so you know her, then, DJ? Didn’t know you knew the leaders of your kind.”
“Only by reputation,” the humanized pony said diplomatically, not really wanting to explain the relation between herself and her royal aunt.
Without warning, there was a puff of green magic, which soon materialized into a scroll, landing right on DJ’s lap. Everyone stared at the sudden magical appearance of the scroll, save Mike who said, “Looks like Twilight’s in town, DJ.”
“Well, that would explain all the presents to us from Equestria,” DJ said, then looked at Mike and asked, “And when exactly were you planning to tell me about any of this?” The look in her eyes said he was in the doghouse for that and he looked at everyone else in his family, the features of helplessness creeping up on his face.
“Ah, true love,” Chuck Hengst said to everyone, as they laughed.
At last, Saturday came, and DJ was loading her bags into her rental. Her flight was at five in the afternoon, headed back to Los Angeles and her normal life. As the last bag was done, she went up to everyone. “Well, I’ve gotta go, and I’m going to miss you all,” she said, wondering where Mike went; if there was going to be anyone to see her off, it should be him.
Lila was first to hug her. “Take care, DJ, and we’ll see you back in Winchester soon enough, okay?”
“Always,” DJ said, returning the hug. “Keep an eye on my parents for me, okay?”
Carl was next. “Don’t worry, I’ll set your old man straight on the Brewers vs. Angels.”
“Next time you’re in town we’ll make a trip to Chavez Ravine and make fun of the Dodgers together,” she promised.
Up next was both Chaz and Hope. “DJ, if you’re ever in Seattle, just give us a call,” Hope insisted. The two had clearly bonded in the past few days and were tight now.
“I have a book tour there in April. I’ll take you up on that.”
Shelby merely glomped the younger girl. “Gonna miss ya, Dee.”
“Next time I’m in Manhattan, we’ll paint the town, Shelby, just you and me – ladies night out and everything.”
Joe and Mary weren’t as forward, but were still warm enough. “Thank you, DJ. For everything.”
She smiled. “Well, don’t thank me just yet – let’s see what Dad says, first. But if you get a letter in a couple of weeks from a Donny Bass, then you’ll know you’re good to go – that’s Dad’s editor, which means he’ll have the manuscript.”
Ernie was up next. “Remind me to send you a gift certificate for any of our stores in LA. It should make up for all the money you spent there.”
DJ chuckled. “Do that and I’ll empty the Costa Mesa store, just watch.”
Last came Chuck and Ellie. “Daisy Jo, it’s not easy facing one’s own mortality. What my sons say are true, though I hope to God that we’ll be able to see you and Michael take that trip up the aisle. But I can say this much: Michael’s in good hands. Hooves?”
“I call them hands, even if I’m driving biologists up the wall,” DJ said with a smile.
“That’s good enough for me, dearie,” Ellie said, hugging DJ as well.
She looked at them all, the newest additions to her family even if not formally for another couple of years. “My family just keeps growing larger and larger,” she murmured to herself, “and it’s just God showing me how much of a lucky woman I am.” She looked at everyone standing there and sighed. “Now if my fiancé can just make an appearance….”
Mike was rushing to pack the rest of his seabag. He didn’t want to miss this chance to surprise DJ, with the second gift, which he told her he would only reveal on the day she departed: due to circumstances, one of his fellow officers at Fifth Fleet had to cancel her leave, and in doing so, offered to cover Mike’s week, allowing him the chance to take two weeks instead of one – and a week where he and DJ could just spend together. Shelby had very carefully made sure he was on the same flight back to LA as she was and would later catch a flight back from LAX to Norfolk, where he could catch a Space-A back to Doha. But he had to get down there before she left.
“Michael.” Mike looked up and there was his aunt, standing in the doorway. Strangely enough, she was wearing a scarf indoors. Was that the thing that DJ had given to her?
“I’m leaving. I have a flight to catch.”
“I understand that. Well, I won’t hold you up, dear nephew. I just wanted to see you a Happy New Year since I won’t be seeing you again for a while. Do give your…significant other…my regards as well.”
Mike smiled softly, trying to hide his surprise at the sudden statement. On the surface, truthfully, it wasn’t much. But from his aunt, it was a lot. Moreso…it was a hopeful sign of things to come. He walked past her out the door, saying, “We’ll be getting married back in Winchester in a couple of years. I hope to see you there.”
Debbie looked down at the scarf, saying, “Perhaps.”
“Where is he?” DJ fumed. “I’ve gotta get this car in before I get charged another day.”
Hands suddenly covered her eyes as a voice behind her said, “Well, let’s get going then. We’ve got a flight to catch.” He moved to embrace her as she squirmed around suddenly, looking at him with a gaze of wonder, love and surprise. “Merry Christmas: how does a week of just you and me at your place sound?”
“It sounds like I won’t be getting any writing done this coming week, will I?”
“Well, if you’d rathe—” He was silenced as she pulled him down, kissing him. “I guess not,” he said. He then went off and said his goodbyes to his family, promising he’d see them all again. It was bittersweet, saying goodbye to his grandparents, not knowing if it would be the last time he would see them, but they promised him they’d try to hold on for the wedding. Shelby gave him a small laundry list of things to pick up from several small LA stores, and Chaz and Hope invited them up to his place as well. Lastly, Joe and Mary thanked him for everything, though he wasn’t sure what he’d done for them.
At last, he climbed into the passenger’s seat of the car, settling in alongside his someday-soon-to-be wife. “Ready to go to your place?” he asked.
She looked at him with all the love in her heart. “I only hope that someday you can ask me if we’re ready to go home together,” she said, her voice having a slight catch of sorrow in it.
“Someday soon, DJ. And that day’s coming soon. I promise.”
“Yeah, now if we can just make the next two years go by quicker. I wonder if I can ask Twilight to convince Celestia to make time go faster here on this Earth?”
“I don’t think even she can do that, hon.” A pause, followed by: “But you’re not the only one who wishes that, believe me.”
With that, she gave him a smile and cued the ignition and soon the champagne-colored SUV was leaving the Hengst manor as the snow fell, a cascading winter wonderland for a pair of souls intertwined for life. Though within weeks they would be separated bodily by thousands of miles, they would never be far away from each other in their hearts.
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Nicely done, half expecting Celestia to pop up given the title but still very well done a good Christmas piece. Thank you for sharing.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hogswatch, and Happy Hearth's Warming.
1837569
The title is a play on the classic film Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, since given the subject matter, I thought it appropos.
Have a happy [insert holiday or festive late December period of your choice here] and a wonderful [insert proper celebratory comment referring to the first day of 2013]!
1837575
*mutters underbreath* no one is getting Hogswatch....
Talk about a special, that was simply amazing!
To everyone I wish that you have a wonderful time during this season!
Happy Holidays!
Well, aside of saying that, as always, you were awesome, I feel obliged to mark some errors in your Spanish:
«Así racista de tu hermana». That doesn't make sense in Spanish, so I can't even figure myself what you wanted Hope to say there.
«I obviously habla Español, or else my abeulos would never let me hear the end of it» It would be «hablo español» and «abuelos» (I assume the later was just a typo error).
Sorry if I sound like a dick, but Spanish is my mother tongue, and I felt the necessity to point these errors.
But I wanted to see what kind of gifts DJ got from Equestria!
Happy Kill-A-Puppy day! Liam Neeson bless us, every one.
That was adorable... we did never get to find out what was in that letter from Twilight though...
Another great chapter, nice to see you back in full form. How's it doing anyway?
I loved the whole conflict and resolution which fit the Christmas Special idea to a T <------ Why T?
I believe the gift Twilight gave them was the whole child bearing potion so that they could have children.
Merry Christmas to you.
1838458
European spanish, or Spanish of the Americas?
I think we're seeing an American from a hispanic family that immigrated from South (or Central) America using slang. If you speak European spanish, i expect you'd see some funky stuff.
as for «Así racista de tu hermana» i believe it's some kind of frustrated comment to the effect of "your aunt is a racist"
1839421
Actually, 1838458 is right. While I grew up with Chicano (Mexican-American) Spanish, the heaviest use of Spanish I ever used was the Castellean (Spain) dialect during the years I was stationed at the Naval Station in Rota (so much so that I even picked up the Andalusian lisp.).
That being said, I really haven't used my Spanish much since I left Spain and so I'm likely rusty; probably should've consulted Google Translate on that one. I'll do so and amend that.
And for comparison, here's the convo in English:
Hope: "So your sister's a racist, is that what you're saying?"
DJ: "As soon as they get around to admitting it."
EDIT: Wow...four different translator models say I'm correct. Time to call LA and pester the parents and see if it matches.
DJ has hands now?
1840409
She interchangeably refers to her hooves as hands and feet at times. So it's correct.
1839744
Then, what Hope should have said is «Así que tu hermana es racista...»
Now I understand why the translator fails; it assumes the «'s» in «your sister's» not as «tu hermana es (your sister is)» but as «de tu hermana (of your sister)».
1841049
Well, I'm an idiot for not noticing that. Looks like I'm going to have to brush up a bit more on my Spanish to get it back up to snuff considering I'm going to be doing a lot of translation.
1841188
You might as well have a proof reader for when your characters use Spanish. I am not talking necessarily about me (though you could count with me if you'd like); I believe there must be also other people from Spanish-speaking countries that follow you.
1841313
Well, I don't plan to use foreign languages often, but if you'd like, I'll drag you into the prereading group.
Merry Christmas!
Thanks for the new update, I have been greatly enjoying these side-stories.
1837583
Fear not, you aren't the only Diskworld fan in these here parts.
1850418
Took me a while to find it but here it goes(It's a sad comic though, you sure want to read it before Christmast?). http://akeel465.deviantart.com/art/Lyra-is-a-Pony-325828032
1850446
I can manage; worst comes to I can say I'm crying for joy.
1851127
Alright then. Merry Christmas.
Nicely written as always Shinzakura.
She got a Cayenne? Lucky...
My grandfather did that for my cousin's wedding.
They have snow because they need it. Melting snow pack feeds streams and ground water. Snow kills some insect pests (keeping their numbers down )+ some plants need it (or at least the cold weather) to grow properly