Chapter 16: Baked Goods
Baked Goods
Blueblood sat stoic and still as he nervously waited outside of Luna’s doors. He had been summoned nearly an hour ago and had simply been directed to wait, which made him that much more nervous. Considering how punctual Luna normally was, the delay was clearly intentional.
Finally, after thinking he could stand to wait no longer, Luna’s voice sounded from the opposite side of the large moon adorned doors.
“You may enter.” She spoke in a calm, hard voice with a not so subtle coldness to it.
Blueblood straightened his bowtie and held his muzzle high and proud. He would present himself to Luna with dignity, regardless of if he knew he was there to be scolded. Marching forward, he opened the doors with authority, not being able to keep from grimacing as he felt a light chill run down his spine once he entered Luna’s rather cold abode.
“You summoned me, Auntie Lu…”
“Quiet,” Luna snapped impatiently as she looked up from her desk and the mounds of paperwork that were stacked on it. “You will only speak when addressed, do I make myself clear?”
Blueblood almost gave a retort; however, one look into Luna’s piercing, teal eyes was enough to tell him that doing so would not be a wise decision.
“Good. You may take a seat,” Luna said as she gestured to a plush navy colored cushion in front of her desk.
Blueblood swallowed nervously, finding the act rather difficult with how dry his throat seemed to have become. With as much poise as he could muster, he cantered over to the cushion and promptly sat down.
Luna moved aside a document she’d been studying on her desk and placed her two front hooves together as she stared at Blueblood with an unreadable expression. “Truly, I am disappointed in you, Blueblood,” she began.
Blueblood shifted uncomfortably in his cushion as he struggled to keep eye contact with Luna’s hard gaze.
“Your actions yesterday were both vile and cruel,” Luna stated. “In no shape or form was the conduct you presented befitting of one of royal lineage, and my family no less. What do you have to say for yourself?”
“What do I have to say for myself?” Blueblood repeated the words as if he hadn’t heard them correctly. “I have to say I shouldn’t be the pony here being questioned. My actions may have been stern; however, they were justified. I am a prince, my title demands respect is given…”
Luna slammed her forehoof on her desk with enough force to split it in two, sending numerous splinters soaring through the air, the action both surprising and frightening Blueblood. “You are not entitled to respect because of a title you happened to be born with!” Luna shouted with enough magic behind her voice to cause her bedroom walls to shake violently. “Respect is something that is earned, never given. A lesson I’m afraid somepony has forgotten to instill in you during your upbringing.”
Blueblood looked at the splintered wood and strewn out papers at his hooves nervously then hesitantly looked back at Luna, not daring to speak a word.
Luna sighed as she observed the mess she'd created in her little outburst. “I purposely waited an entire day before confronting you on this matter, in the hopes that my temper would have subsided enough to punish you justly. It seems I should have waited longer.”
Blueblood’s eyes widened. A verbal lashing he had expected, but an actual punishment? “Surely you jest, Auntie Luna? You intend for me to be punished?” Blueblood asked, clearly finding the possibility of ramifications simply absurd. “I did nothing wrong.”
“The potential consequences of your actions against our human visitors are far greater reaching than you can realize, this is a very delicate circumstance we’ve found ourselves in,” Luna explained. “Even if I somehow found it in my heart to forgive you for the vile treatment of one of our subjects, in the case of Miss Pinkie Pie, neither Tia nor I can turn a blind eye to your threat against the humans.”
“Threat?” Blueblood echoed. “I never did such a…”
“And I quote,” Luna interrupted Blueblood. “'I can make your stay here most unpleasant if I choose,' does that ring any bells?”
“A mere slip of the tongue,” Blueblood stated through clenched teeth. “This is unfair. I wish to speak with Auntie Celestia, surely she will under…”
“You believe Tia would let you off with a slap on the hoof?” Luna said as she used her own sliver-shod hoof to stifle a mirthful chuckle, silencing Blueblood. “Despite the image my sister projects, she’s even more cutthroat than I and deceptively precise in casting judgment. You’ll find I’m a much more lenient mare than she, or would you rather experience Tia’s not so pleasant side first hoof?” Luna offered.
Blueblood chose not to respond. Luna’s dark appearance may have given her a more imposing look than Celestia; however, in the company of both princesses, one would usually agree that Celestia exuded a more potent undertone than her younger sister, one not to be trifled with.
“I see you understand,” Luna said with a simple nod as she looked down at the scattered papers among the debris of her broken desk. “I’ve been mulling over a proper punishment for some time now and I trust I have something suitable,” Luna finished as she retrieved one of the papers off the floor with the aid of her magic and floated it over to Blueblood who gingerly grabbed it with his own golden colored magic.
“What is this?” Blueblood spouted in disbelief. “You’ve frozen all of my assets!?”
“Yes, I believe the Prince of Equestria needs to learn a valuable lesson in humility,” Luna explained while fishing out a few more papers from the debris. “Actually, it wouldn’t be fair to address you as that, considering you have been stripped of that title until I deem you worthy of holding it again.”
Blueblood looked like a fish out of water as his mouth worked wordlessly. “T-this c-can’t be…”
“Stay focused, dear nephew, we aren’t finished just yet,” Luna said before floating over another sheet of paper towards Blueblood. “You’re twenty-eight years old, yet you behave like a spoiled foal. The only way you will truly learn to not take for granted all that you have is to learn to live without it for some time.”
Blueblood held the document up to his face and read over it carefully before shaking his head in disbelief. “Gem mining? Take my princehood, my money, but please, Auntie Luna, do not make me do this as well,” Blueblood pleaded. “I’m not suited for… physical labor,” he whispered the last words.
“Now, how could you possibly come to that conclusion if you have never even given it a chance?” Luna argued the point. “Besides, you will not find a way to weasel your way out of this, so I suggest you abandon that train of thought as soon as possible,” Luna said before adopting a slight grin. “I feel you should also be warned that the mare you will be working under runs quite a tight ship and doesn’t take too kindly to slackers. And, all things considered, I’m sure she won’t hesitate to be especially hard on you.”
“All things considered?” Blueblood repeated as he raised his eyebrow suspiciously. “You make it sound as if my new employer has a vendetta against me.”
“She may,” Luna stated bluntly. “I did mention that you reduced her sister to tears after all. I’m sure that accounts for her swift response to my letter and eagerness to get you out to her mining caverns. I have to admit, I have not read such a colorfully worded letter in well… never, I suppose.”
If it were possible, Blueblood’s pristine white coat would have turned a paler shade of white. “This is what you deem justifiable punishment, throwing me to the wolves?” Blueblood nearly snorted in indignation as he stood back up to all fours. “If so, I believe you are the pony here with a questionable sense of fair play... dear Auntie.”
Luna’s left eye twitched in irritation. “It’s unwise to test my patience, Blueblood,” she warned. “I’ve given you a chance to redeem and better yourself. My actions are for your own benefit as well as those around you, perhaps one day you will be able to see that.”
“If that is all, I’ll take my leave,” Blueblood responded in a flat tone. “I should be making preparations for my departure after all, correct?”
Luna sighed as she rubbed her temples in a soothing manner.”I suppose you should, however, we would like you to issue an apology to Miss Pinkie Pie, Miss Rarity and both Mr. Keon and Mr. Chris.”
Blueblood mustered up all the self-restraint he could to stop himself from glaring at Luna. “So, you would 'like' for me to apologize, are you insinuating that I have a choice in the matter?”
“The choice is in fact yours,” Luna replied with a nod. “This is a request on Tia’s behalf, not my own” she explained. “Tia believes simply ordering you to do it would make the sentiment hollow. This is something she would like for you to do of your own free will.”
Blueblood grinned arrogantly. “If that is in fact the case, I will not,” he said bluntly. “I’m the only pony that’s been wronged, and you believe I should be the one to apologize? Preposterous, I’d sooner roll around in pig filth.”
“I see,” Luna whispered as she shut her eyes to hide her disappointment. “Very well, our business is completed. You may show yourself out.”
Blueblood turned on his hooves without another word and swiftly excused himself from Luna’s presence.
After exiting Luna’s chambers Blueblood dropped the mostly neutral mask he’d been trying to keep throughout his meeting and replaced it with one of rage. “That nag, who does she think she is?” Blueblood spat in anger. “Stripping me of my princehood, curse her to Tartarus.”
“I take it that your meeting didn’t go as smoothly as you’d hoped for,” Shining Armor said as he stepped out from the shadows of a large statue of a pony and slowly made his way towards Blueblood.
Blueblood narrowed his brow suspiciously at Armor. “Why, if it isn’t Prince Shining Armor. So, have you taken up stalking ponies now, or is it just me you fancy?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Blueblood,” Armor shot back. “I’m here to talk to you on Cadance’s behalf.”
“Cadance?” Blueblood repeated. “And what does my beloved cousin want with me that she thought to send her little lap dog to seek me out?”
Armor glared but chose to let Blueblood's slight slide. “She didn’t send me: I came of my own volition. She was on her way to find and confront you on yesterdays matter, but I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to handle this as... proficiently as I could.”
“Handle what?” Blueblood snapped as he shoved his way past Armor. “This matter doesn’t concern Cadance or you, so stay out of my way,” Blueblood barked before running face first into a pinkish shield that sprang from thin air.
“I don’t recall saying we were finished here,” Armor said without turning around to face Blueblood.
Blueblood held his throbbing muzzle for a moment before rounding on Armor. “Are you foolish enough to challenge me, or have you forgotten our academy days?” Blueblood said as his horn glowed a brilliant gold. “You couldn’t beat me then, and you can’t beat me now.”
Blueblood suddenly found his own horn shrouded in a pinkish aura before his face was slammed into the ground and he was hoisted into the air like a piñata.
Armor casually walked up to Blueblood, who was glaring at him with venom as he dangled in the air. “Academy you say? Is that what you considered the colt scouts? We were only seven then.”
“What do you ponies want from me!?” Blueblood shouted in rage. “It was a mere mistake.”
“You’re right,” Armor stated coldly as he brought his face within inches of Blueblood's “And you’re going to fix that mistake, and this is exactly how you’re going to do it.”
“Perhaps it wasn’t fair to say Tia could be more cutthroat than I,” Luna mused before she shut her door, having seen enough of the confrontation and her contingency plan in action. “After all, we can’t always do things your way, dear sister.”
Meanwhile
Pinkie stared at her reflection. Her mane, although straight, had become unruly and matted in places. She sat on her haunches before the mirror, silently stuck in a state of introspective thought. She’d been like that for hours, simply digesting all that she’d been told, trying to wrap her mind around it.
The harbinger of joy, was that not what she was? She lived to see others smile: It was her purpose, her calling, the trait that made her who she was. But she had failed. Blueblood was anything but smiles and it was all her fault. She was responsible for a frown, an expression she’d come to see as her arch nemesis. Had she had it her way, she’d stomp frowns out of existence.
However, doing such a thing was admittedly beyond even her many talents, but that never discouraged her from fighting the good fight. Had some colt or filly lost a balloon, she was there to catch it. If somepony needed an extra hoof, she was there to lend one or four if need be. She now felt as if she were on the wrong side of that fight. If making those around her smile was her purpose, did this one mishap make her without purpose?
Was it even fair to say it was one mishap? she wondered. She recalled that Gilda hadn’t exactly left Ponyville with a grin, something she’d always wished to rectify. Aside from that, her meddling with the legendary mirror pool hadn’t left the ponies of Ponyville beaming either. Even now, she was sure none of her friends were smiling, all because they were worried about her. Once again she was the cause of more frowns.
She was on a downward spiral, she feared. Slowly aiding frowns in their war against smiles, an act she deemed unforgivable. Was this the new Pinkie? she pondered, for the first time really taking note of her reflection. Gone was the jovial Pinkie everypony had come to know, replaced by a gloomy husk of her former self.
She didn’t want that, there were ponies that depended on her to brighten their day. She simply had to get out of this funk. Perhaps accepting the things Blueblood had said to her could be her first step to making amends and getting back on the right track to making everyone happy.
Elsewhere
Chris and Twilight traversed the halls of the castle as they made their way to the upper wing where all of their rooms were located.
“Would you mind spraying a bit of this?” Twilight asked Chris as they casually walked. “And make sure to get a good whiff of it,” she added as she retrieved a small vial from her saddlebag.
Chris stared at the small glass vial of purple liquid currently being floated over to him via Twilight’s magic before gingerly grabbing it out of the field of magic it was being held in. “What is it?”
“It’s, uh… perfume,” Twilight answered while pulling out a notepad and quill from within her saddlebags.
“Perfume?” he repeated while unscrewing the top. “Don’t know if I’ll be a good judge, I’m sure we have a different idea of what smells good,” Chris reasoned.
“It’s more for research purposes than anything else,” Twilight explained. “Now, go on, give it a spray.”
Chris gave Twilight a suspicious once over before spraying the contents of the vial into the air right in front of his face and inhaling in the substance. “Uh… what is that?” he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate the tingling sensation the powerful aroma seemed to cause. “It’s so…” He was interrupted by a sudden bout of coughing. “Strong,” he finished after it had died down..
Twilight nodded as she wrote a few lines on her notepad. “And how does it make you feel?”
“How do I feel?” Chris replied incredulously. “I thought it was perfume, how should I feel? That was perfume, right?” he asked in a jittery tone.
“Well, yes and no,” Twilight answered as she rubbed the top of her mane bashfully. “It is perfume but it was mixed with a very mild magic potion.”
“What, why would you do that?”
“To better understand your magic immunity,” Twilight explained as though her motivations were obvious. “As we’ve talked about before, magic that makes physical contact with you and Keon has diminished effects. I’m merely testing if that extends to inhaled and ingested forms of magic as well.”
“Don’t you think that can be, I don’t know, hazardous to my health?” Chris questioned with a bit of bite in his tone. “I could have been allergic to the magic juice you laced in that perfume.”
“Elder Zuri assured me that it was a very harmless potion,” Twilight defended her position, though her ears folded in shame, betraying where she stood morally on the matter. “I didn’t think any real harm could result from inhaled magic, considering that you’ve been breathing and ingesting small bits of magic since you’ve arrived here.”
“I have?” Chris said as he thought about the implications of such.
“Our world is governed by magic, it's a fact of physics,” Twilight explained to Chris who, unlike before, seemed very interested in hearing her out regarding his curious resistance to it. “The very air you breathe is infused with it, everything you’ve eaten has been grown under it. It’s a constant, pervasive force. Before we can move forward in establishing open relations with humans, we have to make sure that any natural magic you breathe or eat won’t cause any adverse effects on your kind.”
“Hang on a minute, you know about what we plan to do?” Chris asked, recalling that only Celestia, Keon and he himself had been present for that conversation.
Twilight nodded and beamed proudly. “Princess Celestia thought to council me on the matter last night, even though I found it strange that she would seek my approval. I mean, I’m just her student, not a pony in a high position. Either way, I expressed my views and weighed the options and inevitably agreed with her that this is a good idea that could greatly benefit both of our worlds. I mean, just imagine what we can learn from each other, how we could better one another,” Twilight said just as they began moving up a flight of stairs. “Although, I still believe that entering the Valley of the Changing Season’s is rather reckless, it seems we really don’t have a choice in the matter if we want to see this plan reach fruition. I just hope the girls will be as excited about this as I am,” Twilight added.
“Speaking of the other girls, you don’t think they will take much convincing, do you?”
“That depends on which two matters we’re trying to convince them of. I don’t see why any of them would be opposed to the meeting of our worlds, but it may take some persuasion to convince Fluttershy and Rarity to come along with us to the Valley of the Changing Seasons,” Twilight explained. “Rarity because she doesn’t exactly like, as she would put it, ‘roughing it,’ and Fluttershy, because… well, she’s Fluttershy.”
“I see. I guess we’ll have to have a sit down and lay everything on the table,” Chris said.
“Already a part of the schedule for today,” Twilight confirmed. “Just so long as we can get Pinkie up and about that is.”
“Great, the sooner we can get this train moving the better.”
“Agreed, but before any of that, I still won’t feel comfortable that magic isn’t a threat to your kind until I test a few more things, with your permission this time, of course,” Twilight said as she encased her saddle bag in magic and removed a large zip lock bag from within it. “To be clear, I do have your permission, right?”
Chris sighed as he looked at the zip lock bag full of small plastic containers and vials currently held in Twilight’s magic. “Seems like I don’t have much of a choice but to take one for the team and be the guinea pig here,” he said as he took the zip lock bag from Twilight and observed it. “It would be bad news if magic worked like radiation and turned people into like mutants or something.”
“Radiation?”
“Don’t worry yourself about it,” Chris said with a wave of his hand, now eyeing the labels on the empty bottles within the plastic bag. “So, I take it these are samples you need from me?” he asked while reading the labels aloud. “Hair, skin cells, saliva, blood, urine, and…” he paused and his cheeks took on a slight tint of red. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t really expect me to give you a vial of my man juice, do you?”
Twilight arched a brow at Chris’s choice of words before she looked at the vial he was staring at. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be uncomfortable with giving me a sample of that. I forget how self-conscious humans seem to be about their bodies. I could always try Keon, if you’re too embarrassed.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” he lied. “I’m just a bit confused. I mean, I know you’re obviously bright, but when did you become a biochemist? I thought you were a librarian.”
“I am,” Twilight confirmed. “That doesn’t mean a girl can’t have other interest and areas of study, right?”
“A mare of many talents, huh?” Chris responded as he moved the bag away from his face and held it to his side. “I’m gonna have to make a small request here. If I’m going be your lab rat, don’t do anything that could cripple or kill me. I mean, what was that perfume supposed to do anyway?”
“That potion Elder Zuri mixed in with the perfume should have increased the proficiency of your olfactory receptors by ten percent, extremely temporarily of course,” Twilight explained as she stopped in her tracks and scribbled a few more things on to her notepad.
“So my sense of smell should have gotten better?”
Twilight nodded. “I was told in most cases the potion would have taken effect immediately, that means your body may be rejecting it, or it could be from any number of other factors…”
Chris held out his hand to stop Twilight, “Hold that thought, now that I’m trying I think I’m getting something,” he said as he sniffed the air a few times. “Yeah, there’s no doubt, I smell things that weren’t there a moment ago. Like…” he trailed off as his eyes drifted to Twilight. “This might sound weird, but I can smell you, not just the shampoo on you but other, more subtle smells.”
Twilight took a step back and held her head to the side in embarrassment. “It’s not an offensive smell, is it?”
“I’ll be straight, you smell like a pony that’s been rolling in parchment and sagebrush with a little lilac thrown in with a dash of sweat for good measure,” Chris answered bluntly. “It’s actually kind of nice. I’ve never smelled anything quite like it.”
Twilight frowned, “A mixture like that hardly sounds like a pleasant smell to me.”
“To each his own,” Chris said with a shrug. “Like I said, I like it, but then again I think gasoline smells good,” Chris finished as they rounded a corner and spotted Rarity sitting on her haunches. ‘And she smells like a Jo Ann Fabric store,’ he mused.
“So, still no luck on getting Pinkie to come out of her room then?” Twilight asked Rarity as she and Chris walked up to the unicorn that had been sitting idly outside of Pinkie’s room.
Rarity shook her head in response. “I’m afraid not, the poor dear still refuses to unlock the door or even answer our calls for that matter. It’s really beginning to concern me,” she admitted.
Chris nodded his understanding before he turned his head towards the other occupant in the hallway. “He didn’t really sleep out here all night, did he?” Chris asked as he observed Keon sleeping uncomfortably in a hunched over position against the wall with Gummy resting atop his head and a trail of drool sliding down his chin.
“It appears that was the case,” Rarity answered before adopting an empathic smile. “He claimed he only did so because all of his belongings are in this room, and he wished to make sure nothing happened to them. Although anypony could tell he was simply concerned with how distraught Pinkie had become. Sweet, isn’t it?” Rarity finished with a wide grin.
Twilight nodded her agreement while Chris merely raised an eyebrow in response but chose not to answer Rarity’s question in light of asking one of his own. “Speaking of Pinkie Pie, how did her mane deflate like a beach ball on the rocks, like it had been filled with air all this time?”
Rarity placed a hoof to her chin in thought. “I’ve known Pinkie for a long time and thankfully have only seen this occur less than a hoofful of times. Now, pardon me if my theory sounds far-fetched, I’m not as studious as you Twilight, even so, I have come to the conclusion that Pinkie’s mane may act as a visual representation to the state of her mind.”
“Wait, what?” Chris said dumbly.
“I said…”
“No, no, I heard you,” Chris clarified before Rarity could reiterate her statement. “That just doesn’t make any sense. Then again, I have to remember this world follows an entirely different set of rules than my own, magic and all.”
“In this particular case, I’m inclined to argue that it’s simply Pinkie who follows a different set of rules,” Rarity said before rising to her hooves and stretching her back like a cat, loosening and popping a few joints in the process. “Pardon me, I know that was rather unrefined for a lady,” she said before forcing a chuckle. “My body has become unbearably tense from having sat here for so long.”
Chris shrugged. “Not like I’m going to lose any sleep over it.”
Rarity nodded to Chris as Twilight chimed in. “Pinkie’s always been somewhat of an enigma to the rest of us, impossible to completely figure out really. No pony can truly predict how she will behave on a good day, let alone in her current state.”
“Is it really that bad?” Chris asked as he directed his attention towards the door. “I mean, she isn’t like… would unstable be the right word?”
“Unstable? No, no, that would be too strong of a word. She merely has, how should I say… delicate self confidence?” Rarity explained. “Having the confidence to bring happiness to others is Pinkie’s birth given talent, but as you’ve witnessed it does not take much to shatter the confidence she normally has in herself. I can recall a time she regressed to a similar state because she was under the impression that I and the girls no longer liked her parties,” Rarity continued as she held a hoof to her mouth to cover a giggle from the memory. “If Rainbow Dash’s words are to be taken to heart, that silly misunderstanding resulted in Pinkie attempting to replace each of us with a rock, a bucket of turnips, some lint, and a bag of flour.”
An unnecessarily loud yawn suddenly interrupted the trio. “Imaginary friends huh, I remember those days,” Keon said as he wiped the drool from his chin with the sleeve of his hoodie and stood up, prompting Gummy to dig his claws into his hair for leverage. Staring at Chris tiredly, he jabbed his thumb at his own back. “Yo, mind helping a brotha' out? I didn’t exactly sleep like a fat king last night.”
“Yeah, I’ve got you,” Chris said as he walked up behind Keon and in one swift motion wrapped his arms around his upper chest and lifted, causing Keon’s back to pop loudly, making Rarity’s fur stand on end.
“Just what the doctor ordered,” Keon said as Chris lowered him back down. “So, what the hell is that?” Keon asked while pointing to the plastic bag in Chris’s hand.
“My own personal care package from Twilight,” Chris joked. “She’ll probably give you one too.”
Keon stared at the vials in the bag and chuckled while reading the labels on them. “Yeah, I think I’ll have to take a pass on that,” he said before he stared at Rarity. “So, it's safe to assume that Pinkie is still in her self-imposed exile in the room she hijacked from me?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Rarity answered.
“Well, that won’t do, will it?” Keon said as he cracked his knuckles and walked up to the door and banged his fist on it. “Ready or not, we’re coming in Pinkie!”
“What the hell are you doing?” Chris said in a surprised tone.
“Yes, Darling, you are striking that door rather aggressively, that may only serve to frighten her,” Rarity reasoned. “Try to be a bit gentler,” she added.
“No can do, I’m over being gentle,” Keon retorted. “You girls tried to sweet talk her out of that room all last night and all that got us was me room less for the night. And let’s not forget she hasn’t made so much as a peep since she shut herself in there, it’s really starting to freak me out. I mean, what if she…”
“What if she what?” Twilight asked.
“Stuffed herself with ice cream,” Chris broke in nervously before he shook his head at Keon. “Show some tact, would you really want to plant a seed like that in their heads?” he whispered.
“You’re right, I almost forgot we’re still stuck in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, I should keep dark thoughts like that to myself,” Keon whispered back, rolling his eyes as he did so.
“Why would Pinkie stuffing herself with ice cream worry you?” Rarity asked curiously.
“It wouldn’t, I like bigger girls anyway,” Keon said before Chris nudged him in the gut with his elbow.
“Dick,” Chris muttered in good nature.
“Ouch,” Keon responded while rubbing his stomach before he went back to staring at the door. “I still think we can make this easier on everyone by just busting the door down.”
Chris placed his hand on Keon’s shoulder to settle him down. “You know, sometimes you’re just way too emotional. Let’s try a more rational approach first, shall we?”
“And what did you have in mind?”
“I’ll give this a go,” Chris said as he walked up to the door and knocked on it a few times. “Hey, Pinkie Pie, I was told by Celestia that one of the northern lynx they keep in the gardens recently gave birth to a litter of cubs, and I was thinking we could all go down and have a look at them. Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are heading down there as we speak and we’ll need another person that can uh…”
“Throw the new born cubs a welcome to your first week of life party!” Rarity finished for Chris. “Sorry,” she offered with a bashful grin. “That was the best incentive I could think of for Pinkie.”
Chris looked at Rarity in confusion before shrugging. “You know her better than I do,” he said simply. “But doesn’t look like it’s going to work.”
“I don’t get it, Pinkie is normally so quick to bounce back,” Twilight commented. “Why is she taking what Blueblood said so hard? It’s not like any of it's true.”
“Yeah, but does Pinkie know that?” Keon asked as he folded his arms across his chest. “Because I doubt she does.”
Twilight and Rarity looked at one another then back at Keon.
“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked. “No pony would believe any of those vile insults to be true.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Keon countered. “How often does Pinkie get ripped on like that? Probably never I’d guess. She probably took everything Blueblood said to heart. Being as happy-go-lucky as she is, I don’t figure Pinkie understands some people can be dicks for the sake of being dicks.”
“What?” Twilight repeated in confusion.
“He meant cruel for the sake of being cruel,” Chris clarified.
“Oh,” Twilight mumbled. “You know, it’s always so strange to hear something philosophical come from you,” Twilight joked as she nudged Keon in the hip with her hoof, causing him to roll is eyes in mock aggravation. “But you may have a point; Pinkie can be rather naïve about the world at times and wouldn’t understand that Blueblood was just being a jerk.”
Keon groaned. “The more I think about that guy, the more I want to put my foot up his anal cavity.”
“Eww, that sounds rather messy, and quite painful, although Celestia knows he deserves it,” Rarity commented, just as the sound of the door unlocking caught their attention.
Twilight, Rarity, Chris and Keon watched as the door slowly creaked open and Pinkie stepped out from behind it, sporting a large, toothy grin.
“How’s it going everypony?” Pinkie greeted in her usual upbeat tone as she bounced past the four standing in the hallway. “Well, let’s get a move on, it’s not like we don’t have some new baby lynx’s to have super amounts of fun with.”
“Um, Pinkie, are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Twilight asked cautiously while slowly walking up to Pinkie. “I know Blueblood said some very awful things, we just want you to know that…”
“It’s okay Twilight,” Pinkie cut her off. “I know Prince Bluey had good reasons for everything he said. Now, we just have to put it all behind us and move on, right?”
“Darling, first of all, please drop the honorific, Blueblood isn’t worthy of it,” Rarity chimed in. “Secondly, you will have to forgive me for being so forward, but have you been dipping in the cider of the alcoholic variety? There’s simply no justification to be had for Blueblood's behavior.”
“I’m going to have to agree with Rarity here,” Twilight said.
“Come on now, I’ve told you its okay,” Pinkie stated as she put a particularly large smile on display. “I’m feeling just like my old self and everything, honest.”
“According to Rarity’s hypothesis, your mane is telling a different story than the one you’re giving us,” Chris commented.
Keon nodded his agreement. “Yeah, it’s still straight after all, and call me crazy, but your fur almost looks like a darker shade of pink, or maybe my vision is starting to go.”
“You’re just being silly, I’m the same adorable shade of pink I always am, and well, I wanted to try something new with my mane that’s all,” Pinkie said as she stroked a hoof through her straight mane. “Do you like it?”
Keon stared at Pinkie with an expression blank enough to give Gummy a run for his money before finally shrugging. “Works for me,” he said as he placed Gummy on the ground and gave him a gentle push. “Back to you mom, buddy.”
“Great,” Pinkie beamed as she picked up Gummy off the ground and turned to Chris. “Come on, it would be pretty rude to leave Fluttershy, Dash and Applejack waiting for us.”
Chris looked at Twilight and Rarity with uncertainty as he slowly nodded. “Well, alright then, if you’re good to go,” he said as he walked in front of Pinkie, intent on leading the way. “You guys are coming, right?” he added while looking at the faces of Keon, Twilight and Rarity.
Twilight and Rarity shared a glance with one another before Twilight spoke.
“I’ll be coming along, but I think Rarity has something she must do. Right, Rarity?”
Rarity nodded a bit too enthusiastically with her response. “Yes, there’s something I just remembered requires my attention, and I need to look into it as soon as possible.”
Pinkie stared at Rarity with slight suspicion but didn’t comment on her friend’s rather anxious disposition. “Okay then, don’t let us hold you back from things that need your attention.”
Rarity smiled in return. “Of course, Dear, I’ll be along shortly. You have fun now.”
“Oh, you bet. We’ll have barrels of it,” Pinkie exclaimed in excitement. “Come on, Keon, we don’t want to hold Rarity up.”
Keon made no vocal response but merely opted to take a step forward before Rarity chimed back in.
“Actually, I was hopping Keon could assist me with that certain thing that requires my attention,” Rarity said as she looked up at the human who was staring back at her with a raised eyebrow. “If you wouldn’t mind assisting a lady, that is.”
Keon stared at Chris and Twilight for a brief moment, noting that the more equine of the two was nodding her head up and down as she stood behind Pinkie. Shrugging, he bent over at the hip and held out an arm past Rarity. “Lead the way, mademoiselle.”
Rarity’s expression was one of bemusement as she ushered Keon along in the opposite direction of Chris, Pinkie and Twilight. “You never mentioned you could speak Fancy,” she noted as they walked.
“I can’t,” Keon said through thin lips. “What is fancy anyway?”
“You really don’t know?” Rarity inquired. “Fancy is the native tongue of the griffins. I’m certain mademoiselle is a courtesy title griffins give to unwed hens in their home country.”
“It’s French for more or less the same thing, as long as you substitute hen for woman,” Keon commented with thinly veiled intrigue in his tone. “Our worlds draw some weird parallels, don’t they?” he added while staring at Rarity curiously. “So, where are we going anyway? I mean, if you need my help with some heavy lifting or something you might of chosen the wrong human to bring. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m as thin as a twig.”
Rarity gave Keon a once over from head to toe as she nodded thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, your physical stature is rather smaller than Chris’s.”
“Not where it counts,” Keon supplied with a stupid, lecherous grin on his face.
Rarity paused for a moment before shaking her head in distaste or amusement, Keon really couldn’t tell. “Does that crass nature of yours know no bounds?” she asked.
“I’ll let you be the judge of that,” he said. “But like I asked before, where are we going?”
“To the kitchens,” Rarity answered just as they began to descend down the steps of a spiral staircase. “I have just the remedy, or should I say recipe, to turn Pinkie back into her effervescent self.”
“Didn’t she say she was fine?” Keon pressed the unicorn. “Where I come from, that means drop it and leave it alone, but I’ll humor you anyway. Just what are we going to the kitchens for?”
“To bake, of course,” Rarity answered without even turning to look at her bipedal companion. “We’ll bake the most scrumptious cupcakes Pinkie has ever tasted. I’m almost certain that will do the trick.”
“Sorry, I must have missed the part where I became the Pillsbury Doughboy?” Keon jested with a small chuckle. “If you needed my help to fry some chicken, I’d be your man, but I can’t bake worth a damn.”
“Duly noted, but with my instruction you’ll do just fine,” Rarity commented almost dismissively.
“Pst! Yo, over here.”
Both Rarity and Keon stopped in their tracks to pinpoint where the voice had come from. It didn’t take long for either of them to spot Vinyl resting against a pillar next to a large amount of luggage.
“How lucky am I?” Vinyl said as Keon and Rarity made their way over towards her. “I didn’t think I’d get a chance to see my favorite human before I shipped off to Fillydelphia for my next gig.”
Rarity stared at the luggage then back at Vinyl. “And here I’m told I should travel more lightly.”
Vinyl moved her shades down a notch and stared over the brim of them at Rarity. “I’m sure we’ve got different priorities in what we pack, Miss Glitter,” she said while patting a nearby bag. “This is all equipment for my job with only a few personal things thrown in into the mix.”
‘This mare can be so insufferable,’ Rarity thought vehemently as she frowned at the decidedly cocky looking pony before her. “I would appreciate it if you would be so kind as to address me by my proper name, ‘Rarity’, and not Miss Glitter.”
“Whatever you want, Miss… Rarity,” Vinyl managed to catch herself. “But enough about us, how’s Pinkie Pie holding up?” Vinyl inquired. “I hear that son of a nag Blueblood really did a number on her and she’s been sulking ever since.”
“She says it’s all behind her now,” Keon stated tersely.
“I’m not pretending to know much about human facial expressions, but I’m guessing you think that’s a load of horse apples, right?”
‘Well, that’s a cute little euphemism,’ Keon thought, looking somewhat amused. “Personally, I don’t know what to think, but I know Rarity doesn’t buy her story, that’s why we’re on our way to the kitchens to get messy.”
“The kitchens?” Vinyl repeated. “Let me guess, you plan on baking for the baker?”
“Yeah, something of that nature.”
“Why don’t we just kick Blueblood's pompous flank and call it a day?” Vinyl asked, looking rather eager at the prospect. “I’ve got time. Royalty or no, you don’t cross me or my friends.”
“I like the way you think, problem is, my hands are tied,” Keon acknowledged while holding out his hands in front of himself. “I can’t touch the guy, politics and all, you know how it is.”
“Yeah, I hear you,” Vinyl said as she started to rummage through one of her bags. After having found what she was looking for, she held out a hoof and gestured to Keon to come near. “Come here, I’ve got something for yah.”
Rarity eyed Vinyl suspiciously as Keon sauntered over to her, noting the unicorn in question was clearly trying to conceal something from her view.
“If you want to cheer up Pinkie, I’ve got just the thing,” Vinyl whispered as Keon knelt down beside her and she produced a brown paper bag from behind her back. “This stuff wasn’t easy to get in Canterlot, but I’ve got my sources.”
Keon took the bag from Vinyl and stared expressionlessly at it. “What the hell is it?” he asked bluntly.
Vinyl peered over Keon’s shoulder to make sure Rarity wasn’t attempting to overhear them. “I know this might seem kind of sketchy, since I’m trying to keep this from Rarity, but somepony’s are too much of a prude for their own good.”
“Did you just hand me some kind of pony drug?” Keon asked as he looked at Vinyl in hardly constrained merriment.
Vinyl reeled her head back slightly, while she grinned. “Let’s not get hung up on the details, but I like to think of happy leaf as a medicinal product. It’s perfectly legal and all natural, but, like I’ve said, some ponies are prudes and look down on the use of it. There’s no way our friend Miss Fabulous over there would let you give this to Pinkie. But if some of it were to happen to slip into some cake batter... Well, how does the saying go again? What somepony doesn’t know won’t hurt them, right?”
Keon was quiet as he opened the bag in his hand and gave it a tentative sniff, his eyes widening after having done so. “Jesus, it smells like weed, really dank weed too, you sure this isn’t weed?”
Vinyl looked curious at Keon’s remark. “I don’t know about this weed you’re raving about, but happy leaf smells different to everypony; it takes on the smell of the substance that makes you the happiest,” Vinyl explained. “For me it smells like polyvinyl chloride.”
The bag crunched loudly as Keon stuffed it into a side pocket. “I owe you one,” he said as he made to scratch the top of Vinyl’s mane but stopped just short of it. “Yeah, I’d probably better not.”
Vinyl tilted her head and stared at the hand hovering above her mane but didn’t comment on it as she watched the human withdraw it. “You know, I’ve been thinking that you and Chris should bottle and sell that smell of yours.”
“What?” Keon replied, flabbergasted, before he made to sniff his armpits. “As some type of repellent maybe, I smell kinda of ripe.”
Vinyl cocked her brow. “You’re kidding, right? No pony even bothered to mention what you smell like?”
“Nope, what we smell and look like to you ponies hasn’t come up in any conversation I’ve been involved in,” Keon confirmed. “I’m actually kind of curious now.”
“Well, as far as what you smell like…” Vinyl started but was cut off.
“Keon,” Rarity politely intruded on the conversation. “Not that I wish to hurry along this cordial meeting we’re enjoying here, but time waits for no pony,” she finished as she pointed to a metaphorical watch on her hoof.
“Fine, I’ll get outta your mane, we’ll have to finish this conversation at another time,” Vinyl said with dryness to her tone, and she held out a hoof towards Keon. “Well, Mr. Alien, I guess this is goodbye for now.”
Keon smirked as he bumped his fist with Vinyl’s hoof. “Yeah, it’s been real, you take it easy.”
“That’s how I live life,” Vinyl said as she turned her attention towards Rarity and stated in a posh dialect of her own. “Miss Rarity, it’s been a pleasure.”
Rarity found no amusement in Vinyl’s taste in humor but replied in kind. “Yes, it’s been a very stimulating experience. Good day, Miss Vinyl,” Rarity finished before turning on her hooves. “Come along, Keon, there’s work to be done.”
Keon simply stuffed his hands back into his pockets and followed Rarity.
Canterlot South Garden
Celestia and Zuri walked in pleasant silence as they passed numerous flower gardens, fountains, and stone statues alike, all intricately but seamlessly woven together.
Celestia took in a deep breath of the summer’s warm and comforting air. “A splendid morning, wouldn’t you agree, Elder?” she inquired of her smaller zebra counterpart.
The zebra stopped in her tracks and stared up at Celestia, a bit of stiffness in her posture but still managing to look amused. “Often blessed with good weather Canterlot is, but easy if one dictates it to be so, is it not?”
“I suppose you’re correct,” Celestia stated truthfully. “It seems as if the weather team in control of Canterlot has a bias in favor of clear skies and warm, gentle breezes, not that I find myself complaining.”
“Princess, we needn’t aimlessly discuss the weather any longer, I know that is not the reason you asked me to accompany you,” Zuri said as she leveled a focused, nearly unnerving, stare at Celestia. “Very little manages to escape the sight of my inner eye, as you may know, Princess. That includes these latest developments involving your human guest. Why you have chosen secrecy, of that I am unsure.”
“As I suspected you were already aware of my goals,” Celestia said with admiration and respect clear in her voice. “It’s why I’ve chosen to come clean with you, considering your clairvoyance is accurate to an almost frightening degree.”
“It’s no more or less than Skyla of the dragons.”
“I would argue that,” Celestia respectfully retorted. “However, I do not refute the fact that Skyla is incredibly perceptive, her age has granted her as much.”
“Princess, you are older and wiser than I will ever be…” Zuri started but Celestia cut her off.
“Older yes, but to say I’m wiser than you, would be selling yourself short,” Celestia said with a light smile. “That’s why I’ve sought your council today: I’m in need of your wisdom.”
“As always, you are too kind, Princess,” Zuri said, letting her hard and stoic features soften as she adopted a smile of her own. “You seek my wisdom, then I shall provide it to the best of my abilities. For not only will these ambitious plans of yours affect Equestria but our world as a whole will forever be changed. Ushering in such an uncertain future is not an easy burden to bear, I’m sure.”
Celestia looked contemplative. “I’m inclined to ask, what do you foresee in this future I wish to pave the way for?”
“Not even I can see that,” Zuri admitted. “Never before has so many variables needed considering to achieve a clear vision. It is simply beyond my abilities.”
“Then let us not talk as if we know of the future but merely speculate on it,” Celestia offered.
“It’s been nearly a century since I’ve had the need to wonder about the future,” Zuri said with a thoughtful expression. “I dare say it brings on a rather stirring feeling within these old bones of mine.”
“It’s curious how a mixture of anxiety and uncertainty can conceive excitement,” Celestia stated. “I feel both from the prospect of extending a hoof in friendship to an entire new world of sapient beings.”
“You sought my wisdom, then I’ll caution you, this road will not so easily be traveled,” Zuri warned. “Optimism is fine, but in reasonable dosages. How readily do you believe these humans will be to receive you, to receive us, to receive our entire world? What I’ve gathered from the pair in our midst is that humans have a very volatile and cautious nature. They may wish to keep you at a forelegs length while you seek to befriend them, not a symbiotic relationship I fear.”
Celestia hadn’t seemed to lose any confidence at hearing Zuri’s words. “I admit there’s a small part of me that would be disappointed if the humans made gaining their trust and friendship entirely too easy. There’s a bit of a thrill to be had in a challenge. And I must disagree with you on symbiosis,” Celestia added. “It’s our and their differences that will lead to a symbiotic relation between our kinds, for I believe they need us as we need them: To propel both worlds into a grander future.”
Zuri was quiet as she studied Celestia carefully before finally speaking. “The choices you’ve made and what you’ve said makes me believe your judgment may be clouded, for what reasons I am uncertain. Barring that, your focus should lie solely on making sure the humans succeed in their quest.”
“You may not be willing to say so, but I believe you already know the outcome of that, as do I,” Celestia ventured. “I have unwavering faith in the Elements of Harmony, they will not fail.”
Elsewhere
Rarity and Keon stared slack-jawed around the castle kitchen; it looked as if a storm had blown through. Pans, pots, and the like were scattered everywhere, with copious amounts of eggs, flour, and cake batter marring the floor, counter tops, and walls. The smell of burnt pastries in the air was thick and overbearing.
Keon whistled. “Not what I expected the royal kitchen to look like, you’d think they’d know a bit about cleanliness here.”
“Perhaps somepony trashed the place as a joke?” Rarity ventured as a guess. “Although, I’d suspect anypony allowed in the castle would know better…” Rarity paused as the sound of pans falling and clanging loudly on the ground behind a counter caught their attention.
“Damn it all!”
Rarity and Keon shared a look with one another before nodding, silently agreeing to investigate the clatter and the voice that had accompanied it.
“Is somepony there?” Rarity called out.
“I thought I told all staff to vacate the kitchens,” Blueblood called as he poked his head up from behind the counter, intent on ordering whoever had entered to leave, but instantly froze upon seeing who was standing there.
Both Rarity and Keon stared at Blueblood in awkward silence as they took in his appearance. His once well groomed mane looked frantic and disheveled while his pristine coat played host to a large number of egg and flour stains.
Keon was the first to speak. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked bluntly.
Blueblood adopted a more rigid poster as he adjusted his bowtie and stared confidently at his unexpected yet opportune guest. “I am preparing a…peace offering,” he answered, not unkindly, while gesturing to a bowl of semi-liquid batter with egg shells floating in it.
‘And here I believed Sweetie Belle was the absolute worst cook,’ Rarity thought as she scrutinized the concoction then Blueblood himself. “And whom dare I ask is this peace offering being prepared for?”
Blueblood could practically taste Rarity’s loathing for him as she spoke her words callously. Never the less, he remained cordial in his response.
“I've been informed that Miss Pinkie Pie has a distinct like for confectioneries…”
Keon looked crossly at Blueblood. “So, now it’s Miss Pinkie Pie? Give me a break,” he interrupted. “Not work horse, peasant, commoner, or gutter trash?” he questioned the unicorn as he chuckled. “Alright, so which one of the Princess put you up to this? My money is on Luna, I know damn well you aren’t doing this out of the kindness of that thing you call a heart.”
Blueblood was surprised to feel a pang of hurt at Keon’s last statement. He knew he could be entitled and even unpleasant at times, but he never felt he was that bad of a pony. He wondered if this was how those around him truly felt but due to his status were too afraid to voice their opinion. He found himself being reminded of Luna’s words: “My actions are for your own benefit as well as those around you, perhaps one day you will be able to see that.”
Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Blueblood answered, “What I do now is of my own choosing,” he lied, something he was more than sufficiently skilled at. “My actions yesterday shamed not only myself but my family as well. I simply wish to wash away this blemish and start anew, if you would be willing to accept my apology,” he said as he stuck out a hoof towards Keon.
Keon studied Blueblood as carefully as he could, searching for any sign of deceit. Not so much as a flicker of the tail or a twitch of the ear arose from Blueblood. Keon finally decided that at the very least Blueblood was a damn good liar to control the expressiveness of his ears, something he’d come to realize gave away any type of emotional flux within a pony. Regardless, he would play along with Blueblood's ruse.
Shaking his head, Keon looked at Blueblood's hoof then down at Rarity who seemed to be gauging the legitimacy of Blueblood's apology with even more scrutiny than he had. “You don’t need my forgiveness,” he said as he put a hand on Rarity’s back and nudged her a bit forward. “Rarity and Pinkie are the ones you owe an apology.”
Blueblood set his hoof down and focused his attention on Rarity. Walking up directly in front of her he knelt to one foreleg and lowered his head.
Keon didn’t think much of the action, but by Rarity’s response, who for her part looked completely taken aback, he figured it meant something significant in pony culture.
Blueblood reached for Rarity’s hoof and held it tentatively in his own. “Miss Rarity, I humbly beg that you accept my apology, I was, as you said, an uncouth lout.”
Rarity pulled her hoof back and leveled Blueblood an icy glare befitting of her sapphire colored eyes. “Don’t get comfortable, I accept your apology at face value, but until I see a reason to believe it and its sincerity we will remain tolerant of one another at best,” Rarity said, turning her head away from Blueblood, not entirely trusting herself to not be swayed by his admittedly good looks.
Blueblood smirked as he returned to a proper standing position. Rarity may have not been completely accepting, but that hardly mattered so long as Shining Armor was aware that he had at least issued her an apology. Her friendship was something he could easily make do without.
“I shall offer Miss…” Blueblood paused looking as if he were trying to swallow a large pill. “Pinkie Pie,” he continued, “my deepest apologies as soon as I’m able to…” he stopped mid sentence, now gesturing to the bowl of inedible cake batter. “It’s the thought that counts, I’m sure.”
“Why, I’d never allow you to feed… that to Pinkie,” Rarity said as she turned her nose up in disgust and trotted over to a nearby cupboard. “You’re fortunate that me and Keon came here for the exact same reason as you,” she said as she magically began removing items from within the cupboards while simultaneously cleaning up the disaster that Blueblood had caused, all while humming a merry tune.
“Is that hard?” Keon asked curiously as he watched Rarity work her magic. “Doing all those things at once like that?”
“Quite,” Blueblood answered, finding himself hard pressed to not feel slight admiration and envy of Rarity’s magic dexterity. “To multitask to that degree takes exceptional talent, a talent not found in your run-of-the-mill unicorn or most gifted ones for that matter. I suppose my original assessment of her needs some revaluation.”
Keon frowned. “Here’s some advice, if you’re really want to sell this whole apology and 'I’m really a nice guy' deal then maybe you should keep pompous comments like that to yourself.”
“You believe me to be lying?”
Keon stared down his nose at Blueblood. “Look, I admit you play a good game of pretend, a commendable trait to have. But I still believe Luna more than likely ordered you to apologize to all of us, but in the end, I really don’t care so long as you set things right with them.”
“You seek only their fulfillment and no self gratification?” Blueblood asked, finding the idea perplexing. “Why is that?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Keon returned, looking skeptical. “You can’t fathom the idea of doing for others? Damn, you’re one spoiled brat, no offense.”
Blueblood didn’t appear to have taken any so Keon proceeded.
“I don’t need an apology because you never managed to hurt my feelings: I’ve got tougher skin than that…”
“Is that so?” Blueblood challenged. “Your skin seems rather fragile; In fact, I can easily see your veins through it, it’s actually rather unsettling.”
“I was speaking metaphorical, you smart-ass,” Keon shot back. “But like I was trying to say...”
“Ahem,” Rarity interrupted the two. “I don’t recall this being a one mare show, I could use some help,” she said as she pointed to the bowl of batter she’d been preparing. “Keon, if you would be so kind as to finish whisking this batch and pour it into the cupcake pans, that would be most appreciated.”
“Why not Blueblood?” Keon asked as he picked up a whisk off the counter and got to work.
“You saw the state of this kitchen upon our arrival. I’m afraid I can’t trust him with even the most minimal amount of food preparation,” Rarity answered. “But I will trust him with this,” she said as she used her magic to procure a broom and floated it over to Blueblood. “Chop-chop, there’s cleaning to do.”
Blueblood frowned, not liking the fact of being ordered around. “I am the one that needs to prepare the confec…”
“Absolutely not!” Rarity quickly cut him off. “I doubt you could pour yourself a glass of water, let alone bake something edible. Now, please make yourself useful with that broom, and do not worry, we’ll allow you to have the credit for the cupcakes.”
Blueblood’s eyes narrowed slightly, searching for any trickery in Rarity’s claim. He simply didn’t want to deal with Shining Armor if he somehow managed to screw this up. “You will, but why?” he pried.
“So long as Pinkie is returned to her former self nothing else matters, not your ego or my own stubbornness and pride,” Rarity reasoned. “Now, enough wasting time, there’s still plenty to be done.”
Neither Rarity nor Blueblood ever noticed the lone human adding his own special ingredient to the cupcake batter.
Canterlot Northern Garden
“Yes, that’s a good one, Rainbow Dash, bring it down here!” Twilight called up to Dash.
“Aye, Captain!” Dash saluted before she grabbed hold of a small cloud and began to push it towards the awaiting ground.
“Cloud walking, is she serious about this?” Chris asked the unicorn sitting next to him in the garden.
“Yep, she’s as serious as a case of the cutie pox,” Lyra said while nodding enthusiastically. “You’re really lucky, you know? I’ve lived here my whole life and never had the chance to do it, the magic involved is way too difficult for me to pull off and potions are way overpriced for a broke luthier.” Lyra then leaned over towards Chris and whispered, “Between you and me, I think pegasi up the prices on those potions to keep groundings like us out of their sacred cloud cities.”
Chris lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you guys were the definition of a cohesive unit, harmony and friendship seems to be all the rage here.”
Lyra looked over her shoulder towards the far side of the garden where she could see Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Bon Bon playing with the litter of newly born lynx. “For the most part we are, but there’s always those with differing opinions in spite of the millennium Princess Celestia has spent pounding equality into all of us. There will always be supremacist, but what about your world?” Lyra continued, “Are humans one big happy family?”
Chris laced his hands behind his head and leaned back in the grass. “I think there’s just too many of us to ever be one big happy family,” he answered. “Besides we evolved from predators, our mentality is fundamentally different from yours from that base alone. We’re still a ways off from holding hands and singing happy songs with one another as one united and happy family.”
A Twilight shaped shadow suddenly blocked out the sun in Chris’s view, the unicorn in question now looming above him. “It’s time,” Twilight started as she set on her haunches in front of Chris and Lyra. “We’ve gotten the cloud,” she said as she held a vial in front of Chris. “If all goes well you should be able to stand on it,” she finished with a gesture towards the cloud.
Chris pulled himself to an upright position and observed the cloud. “What in God's name…” he muttered as he stood up and walked closer to the cloud, observing it from every angle. It was thick, he noted, far too thick than anything made of water vapor had any right to be. Its appearance was that of a giant cotton ball, or perhaps a tuft of white cotton candy, nothing about it gave away that it was intangible to non-pegasi. “You sure you need magic to stand on it?” he asked, his skepticism evident.
“Last I checked,” Twilight answered with mirth.
“If you want to be all skeptical then test it for yourself,” Dash reasoned as she hopped on top of the cloud. “Well, go for it.”
Accepting her offer, Chris reached a hand towards the cloud, and almost instantly upon making contact with it Dash fell through it. The cloud quickly lost its white fullness before it broke apart, turning into thin vapor that slowly dissipated.
“What was that?” Dash grumbled while rubbing the side of her face that had kissed the ground after she had fallen through the cloud.
“I figured something like this would happen,” Twilight stated. “Chris’s body disrupted the natural magic holding that cloud together, without magic as the glue the cloud simply became water vapor and aerosols.”
“Wow, humans can do stuff like that?” Lyra asked with a large grin.
“I wanna know why they can do stuff like that.” Dash said as she stood back up to all fours. “I mean, what you did just now was really freaky.”
“Sorry, I’m not the magic scientist here, just the lab rat,” Chris quipped. “I’ve got no answers to give.”
“I still have much I need to study,” Twilight answered, “But I believe the answer lies within their skin since that’s where the magic defenses lay, it’s similar to the resistance a dragon's hide has to magic, but with the ability to not only repel but also to disrupt it. That’s why I’m testing potions and fumes, it allows me to simply bypass that defense and achieve the desired effect.”
Lyra looked perturbed. “So, you’re saying materialized magic doesn’t work at all on humans?”
“It does,” Twilight explained, “However, only if it’s able to combat and overpower that natural defense of theirs.”
“I know I’m the one who asked but this is way too much egghead talk for me,” Dash said as she lifted herself into the air. “I’ll go get another cloud for your experiment.”
Twilight turned to Chris with an apologetic expression. “I realize this isn’t how you wanted to spend the day,” she said taking note that Chris was staring off towards the others, who looked as if they were having a great deal of fun playing with the lynx. “It’s just, time is of the essence…”
“It's fine, Twilight,” Chris assured her. “This is bigger than me and my personal interest. I know the role I’ve been given.”
“Being her lab experiment is your role?” Lyra pried. “That’s horse apples: You should be out doing what you wanna do. And right now you want to be over there, don’t you?”
“You don’t understand, Lyra,” Twilight refuted. “There are things happening that you are just unaware of.”
“Like what?” she challenged.
“Uh… like nothing,” Twilight responded sheepishly. “Forget I ever said anything.”
“It’s a little too late for that,” Lyra said as she produced a pendulum chain. “Tell me what’s going on, or I’ll have to make you reveal your secrets.”
“So, now you’re a hypnotist?” Twilight questioned with a smug grin. “Where’d you get that thing from anyway?”
“A cereal box,” Lyra answered casually as she held the pendulum up to Twilight’s face. “Now, watch the chain as I swing it back and forth.”
“No,” Twilight barked. “Even if I believed you were capable of hypnotizing me, why would I willingly allow myself to be hypnotized for your benefit?”
“Good point,” Lyra reasoned while putting the chain away. “Fine, I’ll just have to pull out all the stops,” she said as her ears fell and her eyes watered before she threw herself to Twilight’s hooves. “Pretty, pretty please, tell me,” she pleaded. “With like sugar and cherries and stuff on top.”
Twilight rolled her eyes at the embarrassing display Lyra was putting on. “I can’t do that Lyra: It’s not my place…”
“Its fine,” Chris stepped in. “She can know.”
“But Princess Celestia…” Twilight tried, but Chris cut her off.
“I know what Celestia said,” Chris said. “We’ll just have Lyra and Bon Bon join us for the sit down we’re having. The two of them did come all this way after all, albeit in an unorthodox manner, but I’d feel guilty about keeping them in the dark about this, considering Lyra’s apparent interest in humans. When the time comes, I’m sure Celestia will let us know if she objects to it.”
Lyra stuck out her tongue at Twilight. “At least someone here thinks I’m trustworthy.”
Twilight made to retort but didn’t get the chance as Dash chose that moment to drop another cloud right between her and Lyra.
“Here, I’ve got you another cloud,” Dash said as she narrowed her eyes at Chris. “And you, Hands, try not to break this one, okay?”
Chris crossed his arms. “That’s funny, weren’t you the one that suggested I touch it?”
“So maybe I was,” Dash acknowledged while getting up in Chris’s face. “Not like I knew you had weird magic dispelling powers or whatever. Which reminds me, is it even safe to be around you?” Dash asked before turning to Twilight. “I mean, he’s not going to screw up my ability to fly, right?”
“Not possible,” Twilight responded with an amused expression. “You’ve been around Chris for quite some time and I with Keon and there’s been no sign of that.”
“How do you know there’s been no sign of it?” Dash fired back. “I mean, how do you explain what happened to that cloud?”
“I know there’s been no sign of it because both of us are still in one piece after having touched them,” Twilight explained to a now very vexed looking Dash. “The cells that make up our bodies are partially formed of magic, if that were to unravel our existence would go with it. Magic as you know comes in three basic forms:, innate magic and natural magic, both having their own subcategories with the third, manifestation magic being the manipulation of both innate and natural magic to produce spells and what not. It’s safe to assume that Chris and Keon can’t disrupt the flow of innate magic, but only natural magic,” Twilight pointed to a cloud to further emphasize her claim. “By extent, manifestation magic is susceptible as well, for unlike innate magic, natural and manifestation magic has no defense against foreign contaminants, there’s simply no need for it. Unlike living and breathing beings, whose actuality relies on innate magic.”
“So, he’s safe?” Dash asked.
“Yes,” Twilight assured her.
“Then why didn’t you just say so? I didn’t understand a word of that nerd language you were speaking.”
“It wasn’t nerd language, and I was trying to be thorough,” Twilight protested, as she turned her attention back to Chris. “Let’s just get on with this already.”
“Just a second,” Chris responded. “Seems we’ve got a guest,” he said while pointing towards the far end of the garden where he could make out a white pony stallion strutting up towards Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Bon Bon, with a large tray magically tailing behind him.
Dash frowned, her sharp eyes easily being able to identify the pony. “What in the hay is Blueblood doing here?”
“Round two maybe?” Lyra added unsurely. “Or maybe to apologize.”
“Blueblood apologize? Yeah, that will be the day,” Dash said while cracking a few bones in her wings. “I’m gonna go and give that punk a piece of my mind.”
“Hold off on that thought, Dash,” Twilight ordered. “I know waiting isn’t your style, but let’s just see what he does before we act.”
“After Pinkie finally came out of that room, you want to chance another meeting with those two?” Dash asked, sounding baffled. “And I thought you were the smart one.”
Twilight chose to ignore the quip and kept her attention on the proceedings.
“Hold on there, pardner,” Applejack said as she stepped in front of Blueblood's path. “Ah think that as far as yah need to go. Not like yah haven’t caused enough grief 'round here.”
“It would be really nice if we could avoid any more trouble,” Fluttershy tentatively added from behind Applejack, almost too quietly for Blueblood to hear. “Um… If that’s okay with you, I mean.”
Blueblood studied Applejack and Fluttershy for a moment but refrained from saying anything.
“So, what do you want?” Bon Bon broke in, not looking pleased as she took a position at Applejack’s side. “I don’t think anypony here cares much for your company.”
“I’m well aware of that,” Blueblood acknowledged, not losing his poise. “I’m here to extend an apology to Miss Pinkie Pie. Now, if you would be so kind as to allow me through.”
Both Applejack and Bon Bon stared at one another, the pair of them utterly surprised by Blueblood's request.
Meanwhile, Pinkie set down a small lynx cub she’d been playing with and watched it wistfully as it scurried back to its mother’s side. “It must be nice,” she muttered before finding herself being cast in shadow.
Looking over her shoulder, she was surprised to find Blueblood standing there with Applejack and Bon Bon flanking him on both sides with Fluttershy standing off to the side.
For a brief moment, Pinkie’s eyes flashed in a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness before they resumed their usual happy luster. “Hi there Bluey, can I call you Bluey?”
Blueblood had to suppress a grimace at the nickname. “If you must,” he answered courtly, figuring he could stomach it for the time being. After all, he merely needed to apologize and from then on would never have to see the pink mare ever again. “I’ve come to apologize, Miss Pinkie Pie,” Blueblood began.
“There’s no need for that,” Pinkie responded jovially. “I was the one that spilled the wine on your coat after all, so that puts me in the wrong.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Bon Bon protested. “It was an accident. Besides, that stain was nothing a little club soda and salt wouldn’t have removed, he completely and unreasonably blew his stack.”
“I’m here to acknowledge my wrong doings, not refute them,” Blueblood stated as he chanced a glance towards a castle window were he knew Rarity and Keon were watching from. “I’ve even brought you…”
Blueblood never got to finish as Pinkie shouted, “Cupcakes!” Having already seized the tray of cupcakes from the magic he was carting them in.
“Um… yes, cupcakes,” Blueblood responded with bit of uncertainty. “I prepared them just for you, my way of saying, 'I’m sorry',”
“We sure this feller here is really Blueblood and not ah changeling?” Applejack whispered to Fluttershy. “Ah mean, bakin' for Pinkie, something jus' ain’t right here.”
“Everypony has the ingredient for kindness in their heart,” Fluttershy replied, not sounding entirely sure of herself. “Prince Blueblood may have just discovered that.”
“You tryin' to convince me or yerself of that?” Applejack quipped.
Meanwhile, Pinkie held up one of the cupcakes in her hoof and studied the chocolate pink frosted treat with one large blue eye. Giving it a sniff she quirked a brow. “That’s funny, its smells like all the things that makes me happy.”
“It what now?” Applejack questioned.
“I said, these cupcakes smell like all the things that make me happy,” Pinkie said as she held the cupcake up to Applejack’s snout. “See, it smells like balloons, and Gummy, and my friends, and…”
“Sugarcube, it just smells like apples to me,” Applejack reasoned. “Well, apples, an' apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple…”
“Really?” Pinkie questioned, a slight look of confusion on her face, before she moved on to Bon Bon “What’s it smell like to you?”
Bon Bon gave it a quick whiff, “Peppermint schnapps?” she answered brusquely.
Applejack and Fluttershy stared at Bon Bon with raised brows.
“Peppermint schnapps?” Applejack repeated.
“Did I say peppermint schnapps?” Bon Bon scrambled. “I meant peppermint snaps, the candy, definitely not the alcohol.”
Blueblood looked on curiously as Pinkie moved on to test Fluttershy’s results; he recalled the cupcakes had smelled strangely of the rare blue rose he was quite fond of. He had thought to question Rarity about the smell but inevitably decided it would be a waste of time considering he wouldn’t be the pony eating them anyway.
After having gotten confirmation of a different smell from Fluttershy as well, Pinkie simply shrugged it off and popped the entire pastry into her mouth. She stood still as she chewed the cupcake, savoring its flavor. After swallowing it, her eyes widened while her pupils dilated to an unnerving degree. Finally, the hairs in her mane began to stick up one by one before her entire mane inflated like a car airbag that had been triggered.
“Woohoo!!!” Pinkie cheered, leaping high into the air. “That was the greatest cupcake ever!”
“Well, Ah'll be, spank my flank and call me Sally,” Applejack said as she watched Pinkie happily bounce around. “Looks like Pinkie’s back to norm...” Applejack never got to finish that line for Pinkie had stuffed a cupcake into her open mouth.
“You’ve got to try one of these,” Pinkie said while taking the farm pony’s muzzle in her own hooves and enthusiastically began moving Applejack’s jaws up and down for her. “I just feel, so, so happy!” she stated with a face-splitting grin.
“I can see that,” Applejack grumbled, having managed to pry Pinkie off of her. “And ah admit that cupcake was pretty darn good…” Applejack managed before she paused and stared blankly at nothing in particular.
Bon Bon waved a hoof in front of Applejack’s blank expressionless face. “Uh, are you alri..” Bon Bon suddenly found her own mouth being assaulted with a cupcake, courtesy of Pinkie.
“One for you too,” Pinkie said before turning her sights on Fluttershy and advancing. “I have to share these with everypony!”
Blueblood slowly began to back away from the scene after Applejack and Bon Bon had suddenly burst into a hysterical fit of laughter for no apparent reason at all; the two were literally rolling on the ground, howling. He’d already surmised that the cupcakes had to be the cause and, as it were, it wouldn’t do him any favors to add drugging to his list of offenses in Luna’s eyes or, worse, Shining Armor's.
“Why is everythin' spinnin'?” Applejack choked out through her laughter. “And why’s everythin' so gosh darn funny?”
“Well, Miss Pinkie Pie, I’ve sought you out to apologize and I have done so,” Blueblood said as he continued to back away nervously until his rear bumped against something sturdy. Looking up, he was surprised to find Celestia standing there, staring down at him with a calculating expression.
“A-Auntie Celestia,” he all but squealed in horror.
“Oh shit, I didn’t expect Pinkie to share those cupcakes with everyone else,” Keon spoke aloud as he and Rarity watched the scene unfold below from their vantage point in the castle.
“You say that as if you’ve made a grave mistake,” Rarity said as she turned her attention to Keon and stared at him accusingly. “There isn’t something you wish to tell me, is there?”
Keon scratched the back of his head nervously as he tilted back and forth on the heels of his feet. “Uh, nothing I can think of?”
“You know Darling, lying isn’t very becoming of you,” Rarity said as she stepped forward. “Now, make this easier on the both of us and come clean, or would you prefer a not so delicate method of extraction?” she said as her horn began to glow light blue.
“And what are you going to do with that?” Keon challenged with a large cocky grin on his face. “I’m magic proof, baby!”
“Perhaps to an unskilled unicorn,” Rarity argued. “Now what will it be?”
“Fine, you win” Keon said while holding his hands up in a defenseless manner. “So, I may have, sorta of, kinda of, slipped a bit of happy leaf into the cupcake batter.”
“You whaaaatttt!?” Rarity shrieked dramatically. “How could you have even gotten your hands on...?” Rarity paused as something dawned on her. “Vinyl,” she hissed. “Of course, I should have known that mare was up to no good, how could I have allowed the worst possible thing to happen?”
“What’s the big deal?” Keon asked with a childlike innocence. “You see Pinkie: she’s back to normal, which means Vinyl did us a service. Besides, they’ll laugh it out of their systems soon enough, I mean, it’s not like we had anything special planned today.”
“Excellent!” Luna greeted as she materialized behind Keon and Rarity, nearly scaring both of them out of their skins. “I’ve found you, two of you at the very least.”
“P-Princess L-Luna” Rarity stuttered as she stumbled backwards. “What can we do for you?”
Luna looked over her snout at Rarity. “Do neither of you realize the time?” Luna asked.
“Pardon my asking, but is there a reason we should? I wasn’t aware of any prior engagements we had,” Rarity stated nervously, sparing a glance over her shoulder out the window.
“I would have thought Twilight Sparkle would have informed you,” Luna said. “Nevertheless, the elements of harmony must all be in attendance for the most paramount of meetings.”
‘Fuck, I was wrong again,’ Keon thought as Luna turned her attention to him.
“As well as you and Mr. Chris,” Luna added, taking notice that Keon was looking at her in an odd combination of amusement and anxiousness.
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Ahh yes... I remember when I favourited this...
Congrats on being featured.
3440264 Good times... good times....
*mumbling* Not for me....
Yeeeeeeeeeeesss
3440388hey, hey. No grumbling. I will find you, and give you cake if you keep grumbling. But there's a catch...THE CAKE IS POISON AND SATAN AND PORCUPINES ALL ROLLED INTO ONE!!
3440422
Satan?
*starts reciting holy verses*
Get the reference?
The cupcakes are not a lie.
How did the update via email dissappear?
To be completely honest, I'd nearly forgotten this fic.
I'm *so* glad I can use the word 'nearly!' This chapter was one of the highlights of my day. Excellent work; Drugs and all.
...
So, basically...
Shit happened.
IT'S ALIVE!!!
Happy to see a new update, this being one of the first fanfics I ever read, it has a special place for me being well written and having a good story.
Awesome job!! Love it!!
More i must have more
Yay it's still alive! Wooo :D Love this story so much.
Oh god, pinkie is introduced to weed or happy leaf..........
Pinkie pie on drugs.... now ive seen everything.
Wow.... this is one of the very very few stories to actually take into consideration the intricacies of magical resistance, and in a sensible manner at that!
I am impressed.
OH MY LUNA ITS ALIVE!!!!
Everyone, this calls for a celebration![youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=0gfniCDbbzg]
either "is biased" or "has a bias"
My reaction to the ending... "Oh fuuuuuuuuck hahahaha!" I really enjoyed reading this chapter keep em coming!
3440894 you mean "and" she had both
Updates are always great. Havnt seen one on this story for awhile. Meanwhile, pinkie is on 'happy leaf' I would've put my money on cocaine first because she mistakes it for sugar or something.
3441167 wait to both?????? Oh no.... Prepare the nuclear shelters.
Yoossh!! Update!! and my reaction:
1. - Blueblood is punished.
Me: "Yes!, at last, sweet revenge"
2. - Pinkie is thinking of changing his way of being.
"
Me: "Need to flay the skin from Blueblood
3. - Blueblood is trying to make a dessert in apology to Pinkie.
Me: "Okay, maybe I was overreacting"
4. - Keon drug Dessert
Me: "HAX!"
5. - Pinkie shares the cupcakes
.. Um .. okay.."
Me: "
Oh hey an utterly 2-dimensional Blueblood being used as a punching bag by an overly vindictive princess! YOU ARE TRULY A MASTER OF ORIGINALITY!
They're supposed to be MADE of magic? Gods, that's kind of horrifying. It's like finding out your friends and neighbors are made out of spun sugar.
*sniff, sniff* wierd, this cupcake smells like a library, and an art store, and Nacho Cheese Doritos... *munchmunch*
i.qkme.me/35uf38.jpg
Is pinkie pie "bi winning"
3440973
It took you until now to think of Pinkie Pie on drugs?
Have you even watched the show?
3441558 Nope. I just haven't read a story that had a scene with Pinkie Pie on drugs. Its completely different from the show. But then again, considering that Keon is involved, I shouldn't be surprised.
Wow. I feel sorry for Prince Blueblood. Sure he deserves to be punished for insulting Pinkie, Rarity and Keon, but what Shining Armour did was just immoral, threatening him like that. Especially since Blueblood was obviously very wary of what Shining would do to him if he didn't do what he said and especially since Blueblood is already being punished. I don't think Shining Armour should have gotten away with threatening him like that, since he wasn't even involved in punishing Blueblood.
Not only that, Luna's punishment of sending Blueblood to Pinkie's sister is just stupid. You don't send the guilty person into the hands of the victim or their family. Why? Because they're too emotionally involved.
Nevertheless, this is still an interesting fic and can't wait to see what happens now that a few of them are drugged.
...Actually now that I think about it, wasn't it also immoral of Keon to drug Pinkie, whether or not it was to make her feel better or not. In fact, that's a pretty bad thing to do, even if you just wanted to help. Oh, well. Looks like the only moral person here is Chris.
3441596
Well, looks the ponies aren't perfect and have to deal with the subjective morality and emotional attachment that we humans experience on a near-daily basis.
Good for them.
3441693
Assuming they don't already experience it on a daily bases. Subjective morals would appear everywhere, not just with humans. You can't have a large, functioning, diverse society with a population that can feel every (presumably) emotion humans do and not have moral choices to make. It's also been shown that the ponies are similar in some ways as both species can understand each other and behave very similarly.
Plus the way this played out, it feels as if this could have happened without the humans there anyway, since everyone hated Blueblood before and he always acted like a dick before.
But even if they haven't experienced those things before (which I still call bullshit), it's still generally not good to say to them, 'good for you' for what they did. If they have to experience these 'new' moral choices and they choose what is illegal (I assume threatening is illegal in Equestria and so is drugging people), then they should be reprimanded anyway.
Nobody is perfect, I agree. Which is why Shining Armour shouldn't be able to do that to Blueblood. He may think it's justified, but that doesn't mean it is. Even if Luna agreed with it, laws exist for a reason. But now I'm getting a bit too deep.
I'm curious what the cupcake would smell like for me. Steak and soda maybe?
Anyways, it's nice to see someone giving Blueblood what he deserves. I hope they realize he's lying. Also, I'm worried that Celestia's ignoring everyone's warnings about opening up contact with the humans.
rare blue rose he was quiet fond of.
Error.
3441755
That statement alone probably lands you in a hypocritical train-wreck somewhere, I'm not saying what Shining did was right, or that's it morally justified, I actually appreciate it when people have a moral standard.
Few are the people that don't seem to make semi-regular death threats against their fellow man, and I find my care-o-meter for some jerk; in a fictional story; about ponies; getting pushed around a bit, to be near-zero.
And really, Equestria is more often depicted in an idealistic setting, it's nice to see a break from that.
3442043
Eh. I'm not really saying you should care. Nor do I care too much. I just like discussing ethics and thinking about how a different society might behave.
Also, I too think that Equestria is shown to be idealistic and taking a break is nice, but non-idealistic doesn't really mean it has to be immoral. Doesn't matter anyway. It was just a thought I had.
(Not sure what statement lands me in a hypocritical train-wreck)
Ugh.... I think there is something wrong with the chapter for me:
http://prntscr.com/21u0v0
3442494
He has been officially banned, so it seems.
3442516
I agree.
But I don't pity the bastard. He did deserve what he got.
I mean, judging from his page, he specifically signed up for FiMFic JUST to do this.
Keon just drugged Pinkie. {And inadvertantly Bon-Bon and Applejack.}
That's just wrong. You don't drug people up to be happy. Only morons take drugs. {Unless those are medical drugs to help them, but only in the amounts they are supposed to take.} I hope he gets his for that.
And I do so hope Blueblood can change his spots. {Working under the sister of Pinkie is not going to be easy....at all.}
Wow, still neither of the humans asked WHY it is necessary for Celestia and Luna to raise and set the sun and moon. In fact, there aren't any HiE stories that have that(that I know of). I understand that usually it isn't important to ask things like that because it doesn't move the plot of the story along, but that generally only applies to the "slice of life" type stories. In a world-building (unless I am mistaken) story like this, learning is the foundation of the plot line. I understand that the human protagonists are biologists, and not astronomers, but every human knows about gravity, inertia, and orbit.
3442997
Lyra found him
~Have a good one.
Hmmmmm…
So I'm on Chapter Three, and this is the third time the human has woken up in an infirmary, got to talk, and feel scared by Celestia, and or, Luna right off the bat.
Alright, let's see if I can clearly explain myself here, HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS
I want you to consider another popular type of fic: Alicorn Twilight. Got that in your head? Good, Good. Now, what is the absolute first thing you think of at the start of any Alicorn Twilight Story? For me, it usually amounts to this:
Holy Moly Celestia and Luna are gonna have a cow
Yep, I'm waiting for Celestia's speechless reaction. Why wouldn't I? Alicorn ain't no joke and Twilight suddenly growing a pair of wings seems pretty relevant to the lives of our monarchs. Not only that, but theres the whole teacher/student, mother/daughter vibe that's going on with Twilight and Celestia that will just make the confrontation way more powerful. Grab yer popcorn! Twilight and Celestia are about to have a groundbreaking revelation about each other!!!!
But the thing is… Alicorn Twilight Stories know this.
Which is why you almost never see the newly winged Twilight go straight to her teacher. She just can't, simply because the thought of that Celestia/Twilight confrontation is too big of a juicy bit of drama to play right from the get go. You got to build towards that moment. You got to raise the stakes. The Celestia/Twilight confrontation is a big part of any Alicorn Twilight Story, something that should be given special consideration for when it finally happens.
Now that I've talked your ear off about Alicorn Twilight, what does this principle have to do with Human in Equestria?
Well. I feel like you're playing your "BIG DRAMA CARDS" way too early. It's kind of like Bejeweled with the special power ups. You don't wanna play your special jewels right from the start. You want to save them when you get into a tight spot and need an easy out.
The point of contact between Equestria and the Human world is going to be huge. The first conversation that the human has with the rulers is going to be huge. The ensuing description of Humanity is going to be huge. These are very powerful events in any HIE fic. Something that the reader is going to be wondering at and thinking about right when he/she clicks on your story.
Now heres the thing. Knowing that you have such powerful cards to play. Why would you play them so early? Spread them out, keep one step ahead of the reader's Expectations. You know, I know, the dog knows that we will be looking for them, why give it to us so soon and easily? I would say: raise the stakes a little bit higher before you throw Keon and Chris to the sisters. I would say hold off on playing your Power Plays right away. Save them for a rainy day, y'know?
I know you're quite far along in you're fic, and believe me, I love seeing commitment and dedication (for that, you got a thumbs UP!) but after reading three HIE fics and all of them sharing a similar opening I'm just beginning to wonder if you're all secretly collaborating or something :D (On the plus side, yours was the most detailed and thought out I felt like.)
Cheers! Good luck with everything!
Pheromones?
I don´t really want to sounds like a misanthropist, but isn´t Celestia kinda naive for a several thousands years old ruler? she doesn´t know anything about human except for two random individuals and a few videos. Shouldn´t she investigate more about the human world, our history and nature (the good, the bad and the ugly) before deciding to open a bridge and begin the diplomatic relationships? if/when things go downhill, she may find far more than she can handle
I was fully expecting
to get high
In fact just make everyone get high it would make the meeting much more enjoyable
3441033 May I direct you to Over the Edge and Through the Wood. It may interest you.
3441110 Oops, missed that.
3441283 He is getting noticeably better with each chapter, trust me, I'd know.
3441373 Your icon always makes me smile.
3441596>>3441693>>3441755 SHITSTORM INCOMI- 3442043>>3442081 OH WAIT, LOVE AND TOLERATE PROTOCOLS ARE ENGAGED, SITUATION DEFUSED. CAPSLOCK FTW.
3441995 Oops, missed that too.
3442723 *Cough*
3440699>>3440810>>3441075 It's always entertaining to see "IT'S ALIVE!" after every chapter is published.
Its is always a mood lift to see updates for this story!
Like Celestia here: the older doesnt mean wiser.
Feel sorry for Blue…a bit. Just throwing him to a mine is a bit too much, for me at least. I would send him somewhere to the edge of the world like North Pole or a desert.
Shining…is kinda off the character.
Like that humans arent really magic proof. Only their skin. Poitions will be very helpful I feel. Going into a magical world with no magic at hand can be unwise.
That part with giving tissues samples…I hope we will not go to that clop cliche where ponies sadenly reaveal that human semen fertilize mares ten time better than any stalloin. Not that it will ruin the story for me…I will probably let it pass if we go there.
Ponies on drugs…Because cider-wasted-ponies are too mainstrem!
I wonder how humans smells to ponies! I hope it will be revealed in the next chap.