Chapter 11: Talking with Humans
Chapter 11: Talking with Humans
Chris was lost in his thoughts, as he stared out the train window, watching the scenery pass him by. The city they called Canterlot grew closer with every minute that passed, and with it his fate as well. Since waking up in this new world, he had treaded carefully, always making sure to keep a placid façade around his new acquaintances.
He reasoned that he’d been more than lucky thus far. Escaping from a pack of wooden wolves unscathed, running into a trio of children with their sisters and their friends, who were all eager to help him, and with any luck their princess would be just as ready to help him as they were. Karma perhaps?
He only wished that the circumstances under which he had been brought to this world could have been different. A world where creatures that only existed in fiction were commonplace. How he yearned for the chance to see it all.
Ponyville itself had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience. He still couldn’t believe the pastry shop that they had gone to before leaving for the train station. Even the library was a sight to see, built entirely into a massive tree that had been hollowed out, yet the tree was still alive. Furthermore, from what he was told, Ponyville was little more than a small village. Their world had large cities, monuments and their own natural wonders to be seen, not to mention the wildlife.
“Earth to Chris,” Rainbow Dash said while waving a hoof back in forth in front of his face. “Hey, is anypony home in there?”
Chris blinked a few times before he focused back on Dash. “Huh…wait, what was I saying?”
“You were in the middle of telling us how trains don’t run off of coal where you’re from, before you spaced out,” Rainbow Dash answered, now flying back to her seat.
“Um…are you feeling well, Chris?” Fluttershy asked with concern. “Do you need to lay down?”
Chris grinned sheepishly. “No, I’m good. There’s just so much running through my mind, my thoughts are kind of jumbled.”
“I would have to imagine so,” Rarity added in. “All of this has to be overwhelming. We could leave you to your own, if you would prefer?”
“No, don’t worry about it,” Chris replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Now, like I was saying, our trains did use coal, but we pretty much abandoned steam powered locomotion decades ago. Well, there are some still around, but they’re usually tourist attractions or meant for railroad hobbyists,” Chris explained. “Modern day trains mostly use diesel or diesel-electric power. It’s a lot more efficient, and some can move pretty freaking fast.”
“That sounds…neat,” Fluttershy chimed in, “but scary too.”
“What sounds scary about it? I say, the faster the better,” Dash argued.
“You’re a real fiend for speed huh?” Chris chuckled. “I’ve got a friend who’s really into track. You two would probably get along, at least after she got over the whole 'you’re a talking pony' deal.”
“Why would she…Oh, yeah, ponies can’t talk where you’re from,” Dash reminded herself. “That still sounds kind of weird to me.”
Chris shrugged. “You’d really have to see my world to fully understand it. Although I wouldn’t suggest any of you actually do; it probably wouldn’t be the best idea.”
“Why ever not, Darling?” Rarity inquired. “I’d truly like to see human fashion if the opportunity ever presents itself.”
“Yeah, and I want to see those giant air craft things,” Dash threw in.
Chris scratched his stubble thoughtfully. “First off, the amount of attention you’d get would be overwhelming. You’d be aliens there; I doubt you’d even be able to walk two feet without being swarmed by people clamoring to take pictures and get a glimpse of you.”
“You’re saying we’d be treated like rockstars, aliens or not? That’s awesome!” Dash beamed at the thought.
“…I don’t think I’d like all the attention,” Fluttershy added softly. “…Or being called an alien.”
“Ah wouldn’t like it one bit mah self,” Applejack chimed in. “All yer fancy cameras, flashin' me 'n what not, no siree.”
“Truthfully, I find the idea rather appealing, minus being thought of as a dreadful alien,” Rarity said with a twinkle in her eye. “Not that I think of you as a dreadful alien; you’re actually quite pleasant,” Rarity quickly added.
Chris shook his head at Dash and Rarity “Does it sit well with you, that all that attention would be for the wrong reasons?” Chris asked the fashonista sitting opposite him. “People would just be fascinated with what you are and how different you are. But that’s assuming that you got into the public eye, before our government got their hands on you.”
“Would that be a bad thing?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
“Well, you saw how hesitant I was about seeing your princess,” Chris explained. “That stemmed from the idea that you really don’t know what those who are in charge would do. I mean, I doubt my people have any contingency plan for talking ponies suddenly showing up in our world. How they would respond, I haven’t a clue, apart from what’s been done in movies.”
Meanwhile, Lyra poked her nose over the newspaper she was using to conceal her face, as if the trench coat, fedora and thick shades weren’t enough.
“Did you hear what they were just talking about?” she asked Bon Bon, who was dressed in the same get up as she, although with a different color scheme.
“Yeah, different worlds, people, governments. They all sound like they should be in loony bin,” Bon Bon responded. “I’m not arguing that Chris isn’t weird, but coming from another world... that’s just crazy.”
“It doesn’t sound that crazy,” Lyra countered. “I mean, we haven’t seen any more like him, and he is on his way to meet the princess.”
“Point taken, but I don’t buy it,” Bon Bon said in a dismissive manner. “It’s bad enough that you’ve roped me into your shenanigans again, but don’t expect me to buy into anything so ridiculous.”
“You really need to loosen up a bit Bon Bon,” Lyra said with a shake of her head. “Take the shackles off your mind and open it to the possibilities, you’ll enjoy life more that way.”
“I enjoy life just fine,” Bon Bon said with a frown, not looking entirely convinced with her own words. “You’re the one that’s going to look like a bunch of sour grapes once this silly little game of yours is over.”
“Maybe, but at least I’ll be able to say I had fun while doing it,” Lyra finished while forcibly snapping the newspaper back in front of her face.
“What’s with the fireworks?” Chris suddenly asked, now looking back outside his window towards the city built on the mountain side. In the distance he could see a display of fireworks crackling through the sky. “Seems kind of pointless to use fireworks during the day.”
Rarity gasped dramatically. “That’s the signal reserved for the arrival of our neighboring countries ambassadors.”
“Shit…so, they’re already getting underway then?” Chris asked while opening the large window and sticking his head out into the rushing wind. Frowning slightly he ducked his head back inside. “How much longer until we get there?” he asked with a look of concern on his face.
“'Bout two hours or so,” Applejack answered.
“What? That city's still two hours away?” Chris asked, clearly surprised with the distance they still had left to travel. “It doesn’t look that far off.”
“It’s not really two more hours away,” Dash said. “It’s just that this train stops at Cherry Pit Station and won’t continue on to Canterlot until forty minutes after that.”
Chris sighed. “I was really hoping to get there before anything important got started. If Keon really is there, things might not go over too well for the both of us, with him being the spokesman.”
“Don’t you trust your friend?” Fluttershy asked. “If he’s nice like you, I’m sure everything will work out for the best… Um, hopefully.”
“Yeah, what’s the worst he can do?” Dash cut back in. “Not like he’s gonna start a war or something,” Dash joked, now chuckling.
Chris quirked his brow, silencing Dash’s laughter. “The guy’s a real character, and if hadn’t I known him almost all my life I wouldn’t trust him with a potato gun.”
“A potato what?” Dash asked curiously.
“It’s a…you know, air powered type of cannon?” Chris tried to explain.
“Ah think Pinkie’s got somethin' like that,” Applejack said with an amused smirk. “Although, ahm sure it shoots out party knickknacks and the like.”
Chris just stared at Applejack. “I won’t even ask.”
“That’s probably for the best, Darling,” Rarity reasoned. “When it comes to Pinkie, you’re better off not asking questions.”
“She sounds like a character in her own right,” Chris mused.
“That’s putting it lightly,” Dash said, as a car attendant stopped in front of the group.
Chris stared at the car attendant in fascination. He had heard that griffins were among the sapient beings of their world, but seeing one in the flesh had caught him off-guard. Although, admittedly, he was expecting something with the head of an eagle and body of a lion to look more ferocious.
The only thing intimidating about the griffin was its large beak, considering its talons appeared to have been filed down, leaving them with blunt edges. Its facial features were defined and soft enough that Chris was easily able to tell that the griffin was a female by its looks alone.
‘Amazing,’ Chris thought, taking note that the griffin was actually able to smile, even with a beak.
“Anything off the food cart?” the gray griffin asked the group in a polite tone. She finally took notice of Chris, who was eagerly scribbling in his notepad, occasionally looking back up at her with a large stupid grin. She raised her brow. “Is…he alright?” the griffin asked hesitantly.
Rarity giggled softly. “Forgive our friend, he has never encountered a griffin before, I’m sure he’s just excited.”
The griffin stared at Chris with an unreadable expression before snorting. “Ugh, they don’t pay me enough for this,” she muttered under her breath.
Canterlot
A large, extravagant carriage, covered in decorative foliage, came to a stop on the cobblestone street outside the entrance of Canterlot Castle. The carriage was being pulled by two large bucks, both nearly the size of Celestia herself. The two of them were each sporting a set of impressive antlers.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, along with their royal guard, were present, all standing in the courtyard, waiting patiently for their guest to emerge from within the carriage.
The door to the carriage slowly swung open and a lithe doe gracefully stepped out of it and onto the cobblestone ground. Her coat was almond brown, her mane platinum blonde. She was wearing a set of platinum shoes, along with a large fire red flower tucked between her left ear.
She smiled as she walked with a serene grace towards Celestia and Luna, only to catch one of her forehooves in a crack on the cobblestone surface. She was sent tumbling to the ground, legs tangling together as she tried to prevent her fall, and ended up on her back, with her limbs splayed in awkward and uncomfortable directions.
Her escorts quickly made their way to her. “Queen Deerling, are you okay?” one of them asked in a casual tone, as though her mishap was a common occurrence.
“Kishishishi,” she chortled sheepishly, as one of the bucks made to help her up.
“I see that you’re just as clumsy as ever,” Luna noted with a small smile on her face.
“Hey, I’ve been working on it,” Deerling protested, having finally gotten back to a standing position. “Did you see how graceful I was?”
“I must admit, you had me convinced,” Celestia said with a bright smile of her own.
“Why not practice on ridding yourself of that ridiculous laugh?” a masculine voice interrupted, as something large landed between Deerling, Celestia and Luna with enough force to crack the ground and kick up a cloud of dust.
As the dust began to settle, a bulky figure unfolded itself in the cloud. The large, hulking figure stood to his full height, a massive eight feet, easily towering over Celestia, horn and all.
“Always the charmer, aren’t you, Strong Horn?” Deerling jested to the minotaur.
Strong Horn took a large drag from the cigar clenched between his teeth and blew out a large plume of smoke into the air. He was fully clothed, wearing a pinstriped suit with a large coat draped over his shoulders and a fedora sitting neatly atop his head. “I try,” he replied casually, as he stood next to Deerling.
“Colonel Strong Horn,” Celestia greeted him. “I don’t see your entourage, were there complications with the pegasi that I had sent to bring you by air?”
Strong Horn wiped some dust off his coat. “None to report, just decided to hoof it.”
“Surely you jest?” Luna said with a wide eyed expression. “Ferrum Mons is a ten hour flight for even our guard, seven for myself on a good day, just how long did it take you?”
Strong Horn cracked his neck as he thought about it. “'Bout eight hours, I guess. Could have been quicker if I didn’t stop in that tavern for a few rounds of the good stuff.”
“That’s quite a feat, Colonel. There’s no wonder why General Steel Hoof values you so highly among his officers,” Celestia commented.
“Seems like a big waste of energy if you ask me,” Deerling cut in.
“I needed to blow off the excess energy anyway,” Strong Horn said with a shrug. “Things have been a bit too lax as of late back in Ferrum.”
“There can never be an overabundance of peace,” Celestia stated.
“Easy for you to say, after your scrimmage with the changelings two years ago,” Strong Horn countered. “Is a little knuckle buster too much to ask for?”
“Why don’t you pick up horn wrestling or something then?” Deerling said with an amused grin.
“Those amateurs wouldn’t last two seconds if I got into the ring,” Strong Horn said before taking another drag of his cigar. “Besides that, something of the sort wouldn’t be allowed for an officer of my rank.”
Deerling started reaching for another snide remark, but stopped as she noticed a carriage being towed along in the sky by a set of five griffins.
The griffins circled the area for a moment before picking their landing spot. Descending swiftly, the carriage hit the ground with a loud thump. The carriage slowly crept to a halt as the griffins pulling it slowed down.
The door to the carriage burst open as soon as it had stopped completely. A light brown antelope, with a large pair of curved horns, sprung from the entrance. He landed on the cobblestones and kissed them with gusto.
“Sweet, merciful heavens, solid ground!” he squealed in obvious glee as he continued to kiss it. “I’ll never leave you again.”
Celestia, Luna, Deerling, and Strong Horn stared at the antelope in silence.
“Remind me to never offer a ride to an antelope that’s terrified of heights,” a female voice said from the carriage, as a golden bodied griffin stepped out of it. Her eyes were a shade of sapphire blue, along with the tips of the feathers on her head.
Celestia looked to the antelope with concern. “Will you be okay, Chief Pembe?”
Pembe looked up towards Celestia before bowing deeply. “Princess Celestia, I apologize that you have to see me in such an unsightly state.”
“I’d like an apology for having to sit through you crying like a cub for three hours straight,” the griffin said, clearly irritated.
“I thought I warned you, when you arrived at my estate, that I wasn’t good with heights, Captain Starly,” Pembe countered. “I will not be held responsible for any discomfort you may have experienced. It was all in the consent waiver you signed.”
“What are you saying? I didn’t sign a consent waiver!” Starly argued.
“That’s right you didn’t, my mistake,” Pembe said with a simple shrug.
“Ugh, I’m just thankful that the very embodiment of annoyance is out of my claws,” Starly grumbled, as she walked up to Celestia and Luna and gave a curt bow. “Always a pleasure to see your highnesses.”
“The pleasure is ours,” Celestia responded in kind.
“Not to be blunt, Princess, but what is the meaning of all this?” Strong Horn suddenly cut in. “You were very vague in your summons.”
“That sounds pretty blunt to me,” Starly remarked.
“That will all be discussed in due time,” Celestia said with her ever-present smile. “We still have one more arrival before we may proceed.”
As if on cue, a burst of purple smoke erupted in the courtyard. The smoke funneled in a dome like shape. Ever so often a flash of lighting from within the sphere illuminated the area. A few moments later a cloaked figure stepped out of the sphere and into the courtyard. The sphere behind the figure slowly dissipated into nothing, leaving the area calm once again.
“That was impressive,” Pembe said as the figure removed the hood covering its head, revealing it as a zebra.
The zebra was not much larger than an average pony. Her mane was striped silver and black and that hung limply from her head. Her face looked somewhat weary, giving her a middle aged appearance. Both of her ears were decorated with large golden earrings. A cane with a glass orb on top of it was neatly tucked in the crook of her left foreleg. Finally, a ceremonial head dressing sat atop her head, rounding out her look.
“Elder Zuri? I hadn’t expected you to come yourself, a most welcome surprise,” Celestia greeted her last arrival. “May I add that your rootwork magic is as impressive as ever?”
“Too kind princess, you are,” Elder Zuri responded in a thick accent reminiscent of someone of African descent. She stopped in front of Celestia and Luna before surveying the area. “The visitor, I’ve come to see.”
Luna’s eyes widened slightly while Celestia merely smiled.
“So, that’s why you have come yourself,” Celestia reasoned. “I should have known something of this sort wouldn’t escape you.”
“But how did she know?” Luna whispered to Celestia.
“That’s right, you’ve never had the chance to meet Elder Zuri. She’s a renowned oracle in her native country of Pundamila, and a highly skilled practitioner of hoodoo,” Celestia explained.
Luna quirked her brow. “An oracle, as in seeing into somepony’s future?”
Celestia simply smiled before addressing the gathered ambassadors. “First, I feel I must apologize to each of you for summoning you on such short notice. Had I felt this was not of great importance I wouldn’t have done so. Never the less, I thank you for coming. Now, if you would please follow me into the conference hall, all will be made clear,” Celestia finished with a satisfied grin.
“Please be war,” Strong Horn whispered under his breath with his fingers crossed.
Elsewhere
Keon and Pinkie found themselves sitting at a large wooden table in an empty conference room. Both of their faces showcasing obvious boredom.
“This is boooorrrriiiiinnng,” Pinkie droned, as she dropped her face on the table in defeat. “How long do we have to wait in here? I’m ready to partay!”
Keon nodded in agreement. “Yeah, this blows, but Luna told me she and Celestia are going to give those ambassadors a primer before they call us in.”
Pinkie lifted her face from the table, before she dug through her mane and pulled out two cupcakes. “Want one?” she offered.
Keon looked at the pasty in confusion. For the life of him, he couldn’t spot a single strand of hair on it. Shrugging, he took the offered treat. “I don’t think I've ever met anyone as random as you,” Keon said as he bit into his cupcake.
“My friends think that too,” Pinkie said before stuffing the entire cupcake into her mouth and swallowing it whole, finishing the feat with a loud burp.
Keon chuckled. “Nice one, Pinkie, I think you would’ve put Chris to shame with that one.”
“That was nothing,” Pinkie said as she pulled out a bottle of cola from seemingly nowhere.
‘What the hell? Is she a master of sleight of hand?’ Keon wondered, as he watched Pinkie down the drink in one go.
“Stand back everypony,” she warned before firing off the mother of all burps.
Keon was quiet for a moment, too stunned to respond. “That…was…awesome,” he finally managed to say, after recovering his wits.
“Thanks,” Pinkie said with a triumphant grin. “No pony can belch louder than me.”
“I’m not arguing that,” Keon said, as he went to scratch Pinkie behind the ear. She instantly went stiff, as her tail twitched under her dress at the contact, and Keon quickly pulled his hand away.
“Oh, shit, have I been offending you by doing that?” Keon asked, for the first time considering that petting and scratching behind the ears was a gesture people reserved for animals. “Old habits die hard.”
Pinkie buried her tail between her legs and looked away, trying to hide the embarrassed blush on her face. “No, it’s not offensive,” Pinkie said, sounding far more serious than Keon was used to hearing her. “It's actually really nice. Ponies can’t tickle each other behind the ears like that.”
“I guess they wouldn’t, huh?” Keon said as he looked at his hands. “I never really thought about just how awesome it is to have hands, but being one of the few things here that do have them kind of puts it into perspective for me.”
Pinkie’s tail finally stopped twitching under her dress, and she turned back to face Keon. “Um…Keon,” Pinkie started out slowly. “About your home world?”
“Yeah, what about it?” Keon asked, as he placed his palm under his chin and stared back at Pinkie.
“I was wondering…” Pinkie paused. “Do you really wanna go back, aren’t you having fun here?”
Keon stared at Pinkie for a moment, silently wondering just how good friends she believed that they were. “Look, Pinkie, I’ll be straight with you. Sure, it’s been one hell of an experience so far, and I’ll admit messing with you guys has been pretty fun, if not hilarious, but come on, just look at me.”
“I’m looking at you,” Pinkie said, not sure of what point Keon was trying to make.
“Then isn’t it obvious?” Keon asked. “I don’t belong here, this isn’t my world. I should be back on earth, struggling through school, getting sky high and piss drunk at weekend parties, shooting the shit with my equally stupid friends. You know, just being a normal guy. I can’t have an ounce of normalcy here. Just look at how I’m being coddled by your princesses, because here I’m anything but normal.”
Pinkie seemed to think hard on the matter, before she grinned. “You could have all that here. Miss Cheerilee is a good teacher so you can go to school, and I’ll throw you lots of parties, and we can shoot the shits, and Vinyl told me about happy leaf and…”
Keon shook his head. “It’s not that simple, Pinkie, there’s other things I miss and some things I could never have here,” Keon explained, sounding uncharacteristically somber. “But hell, you know as well as I do, I probably don’t have a choice in the matter at this point. I just wish that I could have at least said goodbye to some people.”
“Ohmygosh, you didn’t have a very special somepony, did you?” Pinkie asked curiously, her eyes bulging.
Keon chuckled. “You know, Luna asked me if Chris was my special somepony, so I take it that means spouse or mate here? Well, anyway, no, I don’t or didn’t.” Keon said, much to his chagrin. “People I would have liked to have said goodbye to boils down to my family. At some point they’ll learn that I went missing and, maybe after a couple of weeks of searching, someone will just decide that I died, probably eaten by something in the jungle. I just wish I could have spared my mom, of all people, the pain of thinking she’d lost one of her babies.”
Pinkie’s ears fell. “I’m sorry, I was being selfish again. I didn’t think about all the other poni…I mean, people that will be sad in your world.”
“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure there’s enough people thinking that the world will be that much better without me,” Keon joked, somewhat laughing, but only receiving a frown from Pinkie in return.
“Don’t say things like that,” Pinkie said a bit crossly. “That’s one less smile in either of our worlds with you gone. And one less bright smile in the world is no good for anypony.”
“You like to see others happy, don’t you?” Keon asked already knowing the answer.
Pinkie nodded. “That’s right, and that’s why I’m going to help you get back home, so you’ll keep smiling,” Pinkie claimed with determination in her voice. “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough, to keep me from getting you home.”
Keon’s eyes widened. “How the hell do you know that song?”
Pinkie blinked a few times in confusion. “Huh, what song?”
“You’re telling me, you saying that was just as a coincidence?” Keon asked, clearly skeptical. “Sometimes you make my brain hurt, you know that?”
“Sorry I made your brainy hurt, do you need a band-aid?” Pinkie offered while simultaneously revealing a band-aid in one of her hooves.
“No, but I could use a tall cold one,” Keon said just as a guard poked his head into the conference room.
“It’s time,” he said, as he stepped fully inside, followed by Twilight.
Keon looked at Twilight, who was wearing an evening dress of her own. “Nice dress,” Keon said looking over his nose at Twilight.
“Thanks, I’ve been allowed to sit and watch the proceedings, so I wore something appropriate,” Twilight explained, as she cantered into the room. “By the way, you guys look great,” Twilight commented while looking at the two approvingly.
“Ahem,” The guard grunted, catching their attention. “They’re ready for you in there.”
“I doubt that,” Keon stated with a mischievous smirk. “Very well fair guard, show us the way.”
The guard rolled his eyes before directing the trio to follow him.
Meanwhile
Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadance, Deerling, Strong Horn, Starly, Pembe, and Zuri were seated around a large, mahogany, crescent shaped table. A smaller table was placed in the middle, reserved for Keon.
“You don’t think Mr. Keon will be upset with the seating arrangements we’ve prepared?” Celestia whispered to Luna. “After all, he will be the center of attention in every sense.”
“I’ve spoken to him about it, remember?” Luna returned. “He’s perfectly fine with it, as he assured me that he’s never been the shy type. Besides, this is the best seating arrangement for everypony to see him and ask their questions.”
“I’m really nervous,” Deerling said, as she fidgeted about in her chair. “My mane looks nice, right? No loose ends?”
Starly snorted. “How’d I get stuck sitting next to you and…” She turned her attention to her left where Pembe was sitting, currently observing his right forehoof with a look of disapproval.
“I think I might have stepped in something,” Pembe said as he stuck his hoof in front of Starly’s face. “Say, Starly, what do you figure this is?”
Starly gritted her beak. “If you don’t remove that limb from in front of my face, so help me, I’ll bite it off.”
“Sorry,” Pembe said as he slinked into his chair, away from the irate griffin.
At that moment Twilight quietly entered the room from a back door. Making her way to the spot that had been saved for her between Cadance and Celestia, she sat down.
“All things are in order, I presume?” Celestia asked of her student.
Twilight beamed. “Keon and Pinkie are just outside of the door, you can call them in at any time now.”
Celestia nodded before standing to her full height and clearing her throat. “My guests, it is with great privilege that I introduce to you, Equestira’s very first inter-dimensional traveler and human, Mr. Keon Ikner,” Celestia finished, as her horn began to glow, incasing the large doors in a shroud of magic and opening them slowly.
As the doors opened, the sound of laughter instantly flooded the room. The ambassadors continued to look on, as they finally got a view of what they had come to see.
The dark skinned, bipedal creature stood next to a pink pony that was rolling on the ground as she laughed.
“So, then I was like…oh, shit!?” Keon said, as he finally noticed that the doors that they had been standing in front of had opened.
Pinkie laughed harder before finally processing what Keon had said. “Wait, that’s the punchline? ...I don’t get it,”Pinkie said, as she stood up from the ground and scratched the top of her head.
“No, I mean 'oh, shit, the door is open and everyone’s staring at us like we're a couple of idiots',” Keon explained.
“Oh…well, that’s funny too,” Pinkie reasoned as she quickly brushed her dress off and stood at attention.
“No point in waiting out here, I guess, let’s go say hello,” Keon said, now walking into the conference room with Pinkie at his side.
Keon silently took note of the shocked expressions, apart from Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Armor and Twilight, only the small zebra seemed to have a good poker face. Even Strong Horn’s cigar was on the verge of falling out of his mouth.
‘Wait, where the hell did he get the cigar from?’ Keon wondered, having to do a double take at the large minotaur, who was oddly enough dressed in a pinstriped suit.
“Whoa, he’s a pretty tall fellow ain’t he?” Pembe whispered. “Well, nothing like Strong Horn, but tall all the same.”
“We’d all be tall if we stood on our hind legs,” Deerling reasoned. “But imagine how silly that would look,” she finished with a giggle at the thought.
“So, that’s the human, huh?” Starly said, slightly raising her brow. “Truthfully, he looks like something I’d consider eating,” she finished with a lick of her beak.
Deerling and Pembe grimaced.
“I rather not hear about you fancying the idea of eating the only human our world has known,” Deerling remarked with a frown.
Starly shrugged. “Just speaking the truth.”
Walking directly to the table he knew was provided for him, he pulled out one of the chairs and held it for Pinkie. “Ladies first,” he offered.
Pinkie giggled as she hopped into the offered chair. “You’re such a gentlecolt,” she teased.
“That I am,” Keon claimed, as he pulled out his own chair, sat in it and stared at the gathered ambassadors. “So, what’s up?” he asked casually, only to be greeted with silence. “Uh-oh, Pinkie, looks like we’re dealing with a tough crowd.”
“My honored guest, Mr. Keon.” Celestia began with a warm smile. “It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to our neighboring countries official envoys. Elder Zuri, great elder from the Nyeusi tribe of south Pundamila.” Celestia started from her right. “You’ve already met both Cadence and Shining Armor,” she continued on, skipping over Twilight and Luna for obvious reasons. “Queen Deerling, ruler of the metropolitan forest of Stagland. Chief Pembe, head of the Swara, one of three great noble families of Ethilopia. Starly, Captain of the griffin air armada, stationed in Volare. Finally, Colonel Strong Horn…”
Without warning, Strong Horn suddenly slammed his fist on the table, interrupting Celestia and bringing all attention to him. Standing to his full height, he stared at Keon, who was looking at the minotaur as though he’d lost his mind.
“Let’s cut to the chase,” Strong Horn said with force. “Have you come to declare war on our lands!?”
“If so, we submit,” Pembe added with a nervous chuckle.
Strong Horn glared at Pembe, prompting the antelope to shrink further away.
“Uh…no,” Keon finally managed to answer the minotaur, having recovered from his initial shock at the outburst.
“Are you sure?” Strong Horn pried. “Not even a little scrimmage?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Keon confirmed.
“Damn,” Strong Horn cursed under his breath, as he sat back down in his seat.
“Colonel, I thought I made it clear our visitor has come in peace,” Celestia said, seemingly disappointed with Strong Horn’s actions.
“Besides an accusation like that is ridiculous, considering that Mr. Keon was brought here through unforeseen circumstances,” Shining Armor cut in.
Strong Horn took a deep drag of his cigar and blew the smoke out through his nostrils. “I forgot, an EON just dropped this hyoman off right on your doorstep and went on its merry way?”
“I’m pretty sure Princess Celestia called him a human,” Starly corrected the minotaur.
“That’s what I said,” Strong Horn replied with a snort. “But I don’t understand the objective this EON had for bringing the hyoman here.”
“That makes two of us,” Keon jested.
Starly rolled her eyes at Strong Horn’s second mispronunciation. “From what I hear, EONs are pretty pesky animals that don’t work with any rhyme or reason,” Starly explained to the pair.
“You know something about them?” Deerling questioned. “Today is the first I’m hearing of such a creature.”
“I don’t know much about them, apart from what I’ve heard in tall tales. So, I wouldn’t take it at face value,” Starly explained. “In the griffin kingdom of Volare, EON’s were used as a ploy to frighten young griffins away from the valley of the changing seasons. It was said that any griffin that wandered in would be taken away by them… never to return! Muwhaha!” Starly chuckled with the conclusion of what she deemed a spooky story.
“So, EONs are the griffin’s version of a boogeylope?” Pembe questioned.
Starly shrugged. “I don’t even know what a boogeylope is. But like I said, they were only used to keep thick skulled cubs out of the valley of the changing seasons. I never considered if they were actually real or not.”
“When I heard that EONs where a part of this matter, I began delving into their history,” Twilight chimed in. ”Ponies have gone missing because of them, so the superstition in Volare isn’t baseless. Although, I’m confident that the valley of the changing seasons wasn’t their nesting grounds, so that doesn’t add up.”
“That’s assuming they haven’t moved on from their old homes,” Keon argued. “From what you first told me, ponies stopped studying them about two thousand years ago, right? And it’s been fifteen hundred years since they were last seen. They probably just moved on from their original nesting grounds.” Keon grinned. “At least I know where I’m going when this is all over, valley of the changing whatever.”
Twilight looked nervous. “I’m afraid that it won’t be so easy.”
“Why not?” Keon asked curiously, not liking the look on Twilight’s face.
“Because that place is one of the seven anomalies of our world,” Luna answered. “Land masses where magic runs rampant and untamed.”
Twilight nodded. “Along with the valley of the changing seasons, there’s also the Everfree Forest, the Tilting Island, the Mirage Dessert, the Roaring Canyon, the Frost Jungle, and Gluttony Woods,” she recited. “All of them are dangerous, the valley and Gluttony Woods being particularly nasty examples of the seven.”
“Of course, shit just couldn’t be easy,” Keon grumbled. “But I’ll worry about that later.”
Celestia looked perturbed. If the EONs really had migrated to a place such as the valley of the changing seasons, procuring one had just gotten a great deal more difficult. However, now was not the time to dwell on the matter, she reasoned.
“I believe we shall hold off on that matter until a later time,” Celestia said. “As for now, I’m sure that the assembled guest here have quite a few questions,” Celestia finished, looking to see if any of the ambassadors wished to take the floor.
Deerling quickly stood up from her seat, already grinning in excitement. However, she was interrupted by Starly, before she could speak.
“Do humans eat meat?” Starly asked bluntly.
“Honestly, we have an inter-dimensional being in our midst, and all you care about is what he eats?” Deerling shook her head.
“Sorry, we griffins have no interest in gizmos and gadgets as you deers do. I’m just looking for some common ground, not what great technology he has in his world,” Starly explicated.
Keon looked at the griffin curiously. In truth, he hadn’t expected to be asked such a simple question, but he answered all the same. “Yeah, we eat meat, along with anything else editable that won’t make us sick or kill us. Trust me, I doubt you’ve ever met anything that has a diet like a human.”
“Interesting, so how exactly does a human go about catching its food?” Starly pried. “You don’t look too strong or fast, no claws either.”
“Well, I don’t go out and catch my own chickens or butcher my own cows and pigs if that’s what you were wondering,” Keon explained, not paying attention to the appalled look on Pembe’s face. “Sure, there’s still some humans that go out and hunt for their own food, but mostly in uncivilized circles. In modern civilizations we have a market that does all the farming for meat for us. And no, the cows don’t complain about us eating them, because they’re just animals in my world.”
“Wait, I don’t understand, what do you mean by farming meat?” Pembe asked curiously. “I mean, does meat grow out of the ground in your world?”
‘Holy hell, this guy’s an idiot. And how do I explain slaughter houses to a bunch of talking animals?’ Keon thought, wondering how they would take it. ‘Whatever, if they don’t like it, tough,’he reasoned, only to be beat to the punch by Starly.
“What kind of imbecile are you?” Starly asked the antelope harshly. “Didn’t you know we griffins farm our livestock as well? We have farmers that raise the animals we eat, until they’re mature enough for the slaughter, then distribute it. Admittedly, a lot of griffins have lost touch with their inner predator and woud rather just buy their food. Me on the other claw, I’d rather hunt for my own, however, not every griffin is as old fashioned as I.” Starly grinned wickedly. “You humans are a species after my own heart, I fully welcome you to our lands.”
“Well, thanks, I guess,” Keon said with an unsure grin.
“Think nothing of it, and if you’re ever in Volare, the fried coacktrice wings are on me,” Starly offered.
“Sure, I’ll bring the hot sauce,” Keon quipped.
“Hahaha,” Starly chuckled. “I’ll hold you to it.”
“Ahem,” Deerling interrupted. “Now that we’ve talked about the similar eating diets of humans and griffins, let’s move on to actual worthwhile questions,” Deerling said, as she beamed at Keon. “Hello fair human…I mean, Mr. Keon, I am Queen Deerling,” she started. “If it’s not too much trouble, do you believe you can explain exactly what humans are like?”
‘Damn it, another Twilight.’ Keon sighed as he rubbed his temples, while Deerling only looked excited. “Humans are like…well, honestly I never really thought about something like that, but I’ll say that we’re different. Every single person I’ve ever met is different in their own way, be it for good or bad. They’re dreamers, philosophers, murders, leechers, believers, partiers, mothers, fathers, protectors, assholes, extremist, pretty much anything you could think of, there will be a human that fits the bill for it. So, telling you what we are like can’t be given a simple answer, because we’re all different. Pretty much humanity in a nut shell.”
“So, what are you like then?” Deerling continued.
Keon scratched his beard in thought. “I don’t know…I guess I’m kind of laid back, pretty rude, sardonic at times, and don’t too much care for authority.”
“And are all hyomans like this?” Strong Horn asked.
“Hard-of-hearing?” Keon mocked the minotaur. “Didn’t I just say we’re all different?”
Strong Horn narrowed his brow before he let out a small chuckle. “You’ve got some backbone for a creature so puny.”
“Careful who you insult, after all, you’re part human yourself,” Keon said with a satisfied smirk at the look of confusion on the minotaur’s face.
“What mockery is this?” Strong Horn argued. “I’m a strong and proud minotaur, not a tiny hyoman.”
“Well, at least according to our mythology, your species is part man, part bull. Although, they definitely got the savagery part wrong about you guys, I’m mean, look how nicely you’re dressed.”
“Minotaurs exist as myths in your world?” Deerling piped up. “That’s strange.”
Luna nodded her agreement. “Not just minotaur,s but humans have conjectures of a great deal of our inhabitants. Unicorns, pegasi, griffins and dragons being among them.”
“Really?” Starly looked interested. “And what do your myths say about us griffins?”
“I never formally studied greek myth, but from what I know, griffins were supposed to be brutal man eaters and the greatest enemy of the pegasi,” Keon said to Starly, who seemed to actually have a glint of pride in her eyes.
“So, that’s why you look so appetizing,” Starly muttered, but still speaking loud enough that everyone could hear her, eliciting awkward stares in her direction.
“Make sure me and her never end up alone together,” Keon whispered to Pinkie.
Pinkie saluted. “Will do.”
Keon nodded before turning his attention back to the gathered guests. “You know, I’m starting to wonder just how much of our mythology is only conjecture,” Keon said. “Maybe all those ancient crackpots that came up with that shit weren’t full of crap, but saw it for themselves, just like I am now. Although, I haven’t heard that you guys have centaurs, or satyrs, so I guess that there’s some exceptions.”
“What are those?” Twilight asked.
“Just some more weird hybrids, like our minotaur friend,” Keon offered for an answer.
“Hypothetically speaking, what do you intend to do here in the long term if your plans to return home don’t come to fruition?” Deerling questioned.
“I’ve been trying not to think about the ‘what ifs’,” Keon said. “But if it comes to it, guess I’ll try to live my life the best I can here. There’s not really much I can do outside of that, right?”
“Do you wish to establish a colony in Equestria?” Pembe ventured to ask. “I’m sure we could fund such a goal.”
“Considering I’m the only human here, no,” Keon deadpanned, slightly amused with the question. “I plan on dying and taking humanity in this world with me, it’s that simple.”
“You weren’t lying about being sardonic,” Cadance chimed in.
“I’m just speaking the truth,” Keon said, as he brought his attention to the only occupant that hadn’t spoken yet, the zebra. She was staring attentively at him with a stoic expression on her face. Keon quirked his brow at the pony sized zebra. “You’ve been pretty quiet, nothing on your mind, miss zebra?” He asked, looking directly at the zebra.
“The cards have told all that one wishes to know,” Zuri said, as she waved her front hoof revealing a deck of cards.
“You’re a fortuneteller or something?” Keon asked, staring at Zuri as she shuffled the deck of cards with enough flare to make a magician envious.
Zuri pushed her chair back and stepped down, prompting curious stares from the other occupants, apart from Celestia. Making her way over to Keon, she stood in front of the table and scrutinized him with a weary eye, as she spoke in a sing-song voice. “The cards, will tell, the past, the present, and the future as well,” she finished, as she shuffled the deck of cards once more and spread them out in front of Keon.
Keon looked amused. ‘Not everyday you get your fortune read by a tarot card reading, talking zebra,’ he mused, finding the idea impossibly ridiculous. “Alright, Miss Cleo, what’s in the cards?”
Pinkie scooted over to get a better look at the cards. “Ooh, I love fortune telling, I even do it myself when I’m using my Madame Pinkie persona.”
“Did I mention you’re random?” Keon japed, now eyeing the face down cards before him. “So, what now?”
“I know, I know, pick three.” Pinkie suggested, getting a nod of approval from the zebra.
Shrugging, Keon slid three random cards from the bunch. Zuri quickly placed a hoof over the cards to stop Keon from picking them up off the table. Spreading the three chosen cards out evenly before Keon, she flipped one over.
Keon stared at the picture on the card in surprise. The picture wasn’t him per se, but instead that of a young, dark child of maybe eight. ‘Well, this is getting weird,’ he thought, as Zuri began to speak.
“Born the second child, to a family of six. The passing of a father bringing many a conflict,” she recited the couplet before flipping the card over once again, revealing that the cards image had changed to a slightly older child playing with another.
Keon’s eyes widened, for a mixture of reasons. The accurate portrayal of his past being one of them, along with the fact that Keon was sure that the new image was one of him and Chris.
Continuing where she left off, Zuri recited, “A troubled soul in your youth. Springing acts that were most uncouth. The meeting of another in your past. Your rampant temperament was not to last. A friendship blossomed both strong and true. Making for a much more better you.”
Keon shook his head in mild frustration. “…How did you…fortune tellers are supposed to be nothing but con-artist. This shit can’t be real.”
Zuri hadn’t shown if she were offended by the remark, but opted to turn over the middle card.
Keon studied the card, depicting a vague image of him, Chris and six ponies. Two of the ponies he recognized as Twilight and Pinkie, the other four he was sure he hadn’t seen. “What is this?” he muttered, considering this image was supposed to depict his present, or at the very least his immediate future.
Zuri began to recite in the same manner as before. “A fated reunion is swiftly at hand. Embarking on a journey across our land. Searching for the key to open the way. The elements of six won’t lead you astray. Although your resolve will soon be tested. Your heart and values must not be bested.”
Keon was quiet as he mulled over what Zuri had said. For the most part he understood what she was getting at. Chris was obviously the fated reunion in the poem. That was good, Chris was there, and not dead, and the journey was self explanatory. The elements of six he figured were the six ponies in the card. The last section, however, left him scratching his head. What was his resolve, he wondered? He knew that he wanted to get home, that much was certain, he couldn’t imagine anything to make that goal waver. Frowning, he looked at the final card. “So, what’s behind door number three?” he quipped.
Zuri’s face appeared slightly more serious as she pushed the final card towards Keon. All eyes were now locked on the last card.
Zuri looked over her shoulder and glared at everyone behind her, who were practically leaning over the table at this point. “This final card is for his eyes and his eyes alone,” she barked.
Celestia and company retreated back to their chairs and pretended as though they weren’t interested any longer.
Satisfied, Zuri turned her attention back to Keon. “The choice is yours to view that card, but take heed…” Zuri never got to finish as Keon wasted no time in grabbing the card and bringing up to his face.
He looked at the card for a moment in complete silence, before he let out a hearty laugh. “Sorry, grandma, but I think you might be slipping. Ain’t no way in hell this is my future,” he said, as he made to hand the card back to Zuri.
Zuri frowned, refusing to take back the card. “My cards tell no lies,” she said with a look bordering on smug. “That card is a gift from me to you.”
“So, what’s on it?” Pinkie asked, either forgetting or not caring that she wasn’t supposed to know.
“Sorry, Pinkie, I’m supposed to keep this to myself,” he reiterated while stuffing the card into an empty pocket. “Zebra’s orders, not mine. It’s too bad, you might get a kick out of it.”
After Zuri had taken back her seat, Deerling was quick to speak once again.
“Celestia tells me that the human race prides themselves on their ingenuity, not unlike us deers,” Deerling stated.
“You can say that,” Keon agreed. “I mean, we did put someone on the moon…without magic,” Keon said, directing a coy smirk towards Luna. “But sometimes people are a little too ambitious, and we’d probably be better off without some things we’ve come up with.”
“Care to share?” Cadence inquired.
“Ever heard of the phrase 'there’s more than one way to skin a cat'?” Cadance shook her head 'no' in response to the question.
“Let’s just say we’ve come up with a surprising amount of ways to snuff out each other’s lives,” Keon said.
“Are humans at odds with one another?” Armor interjected. “You don’t give off the presence of a race that revels in violence.”
Keon raised his brow, clearly amused with Armor’s apparent critique on humans, with only himself for reference. ‘I’d like to have see the look on his face, had I brought a history book with me,’ he mused. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say humans revel in violence, but we can be prone to it. When people want something they might not ask for it too politely. But like I’ve said, humans are different. For every screw job there’s someone willing to give away their own shoes to a homeless guy. Our race can never be split between black and white, because there’s just too much gray.”
“So eloquently put,” Luna teased.
“Poetic, wasn’t it?” Keon quipped. “And it helps that I had plenty of time to come up with some cheesy things to say, just for this occasion.”
“You certainly seem to be taking this all in stride,” Pembe commented offhandedly. “If I were you, I would have died of fright by now.”
“This place is as scary as a child’s coloring book,” Keon said with a shrug.
“That’s quite a statement, considering you’ve yet to leave the city of Canterlot,” Pembe argued. “Feral beasts, carnivorous plants and perilous terrain awaits beyond this safe haven.”
“Wow, that does sound scary,” Keon said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure we have a different idea of scary.”
“Are you insinuating that you’re braver than I?” Pembe challenged. “I’m a battle tested warrior and an expert with a sword,” Pembe said while reaching at his side. “That’s odd, where’s my blade?”
“You don’t have a blade, and you’ve never seen battle,” Strong Horn confirmed with a shake of his head.
“Oh, that’s right, I have no experience with a sword, and I’m quite the coward,” Pembe said, much to his own chagrin.
“Something wrong with him?” Keon asked curiously.
“Excuse Pembe, he will occasionally lapse into a state of witlessness,” Starly explained. “Just ignore the dumb things that come out of his mouth, it’ll save you the headache.”
Pembe snorted but said nothing further on the matter.
“I must admit the proceedings are going far better than I would have expected,” Celestia whispered to Luna. “Keon has been surprisingly…behaved.”
Luna nodded her agreement. “You’re right dearest sister, he’s only sworn seven times by my count.”
Celestia and Luna shared a laugh with one another.
“I only hope his reception party will go as smoothly. He will be exposed to a much larger audience, after all,” Celestia said, thinking of all the nobles and those of high social standing that had been sent invitations.
“Don’t get your hopes too high,” Luna warned. “I’ve checked over all the orders Pinkie Pie made out under your name for the festivities and well...”
“Well what?” Celestia asked.
“She’s ordered enough alcohol to put a dragon in a coma. Not to mention, there’s a number of oddities she’s requested. A couple of ping pong tables, rolls of duct tape, stop watches, playing cards, shot glasses, dice, coins, a twenty foot bungee cord, an extremely large chess board, cardboard boxes, rope and that’s only some of it.”
Celestia looked more amused than concerned at hearing the items Pinkie had ordered. “What is that mare planning?”
“I haven’t the slightest,” Luna admitted. “I never did quite understand her. I just hope the party doesn’t get too out of hoof.”
Meanwhile
Chris found himself leaning against the railing of the caboose compartment, watching Cherry Pit station shrink ever smaller as the train sped away from it. He had reluctantly stayed on the train when they had stopped at Cherry Pit station. He figured there was no point in bringing unnecessary attention to himself when it could be avoided.
The girls had fully understood his concerns and were generous enough to bring him one of Cherry Pit station's famed cherry pies. He admitted that the pie was damn good, and he wasn’t even a fan of cherries.
Taking out his notepad, he skimmed over some of the things he had written, mostly comparison analysis of his ponies and theirs. He wondered if there was even any point of comparing them, when their similarities ended at them being equines. What could have triggered the ponies of this world to evolve in such a manner was a question he wanted answered above all else. Stuffing the notepad back into his pocket, he sat down in one of the two chairs that had been conveniently placed there.
He assumed that he had a good deal of time before the others got worried about him and would come out looking for him. In the mean time, he was content to simply stare at the passing scenery immersed in his own thoughts.
A moment later the door leading to the deck of the caboose opened up and a gruff looking creature stepped onto the deck.
Chris stared at the creature for a moment. It looked like an old brown bulldog, standing on its hind legs at about five foot nothing. Its forearms, however, were comically bulky, reminiscent of Popeye. It was also sporting a dark vest. If Chris remembered correctly, Fluttershy had described a similar looking creature to him that she had called a diamond dog.
The diamond dog looked at Chris before grunting in annoyance. “Thought there’d be no one else out here,” he said as he reached into one of the pockets of his vest and pulled out a pack of what Chris was sure were cigarettes. “You don’t mind, do yah?”
“Go for it,” Chris responded. “Actually, you mind if I bum one off you?”
The diamond dog gave Chris a questioning look. “You know what these are, Sonny? They aren’t too good for your health, you know?”
Chris nodded. “I know as much, I just could really go for a smoke right about now, it’s been a stressful couple of days.”
The diamond dog shrugged as he handed one of the brown sticks to Chris. Chris stared at the would be cigarette, before giving it a careful sniff. “Doesn’t smell like tobacco,” Chris commented, as he watched the diamond dog use a match to light his own.
The diamond dog took a deep drag of his before handing Chris the matches. “That there’s made from kasper leaves. Only minotaurs smoke that awful tasting tobacco.”
Chris shrugged as he lit his own and took a deep drag. “Damn that’s good,” he said with a nod of approval, "beats what we got back home, anyway.”
“Back home, huh? And where might that be?” the diamond dog asked, half interestedly.
“Somewhere far, far away,” Chris said, trying to gloss over the subject.
“I get it, ain’t none of my business,” the diamond dog said while taking the remaining chair for himself. “Name’s Skip by the way,” he said while offering a clawed paw towards Chris.
“Chris,” Chris said, as he shook Skip’s paw firmly.
Skip grinned, as he leaned back in his chair. “So, what business you’ve got in Canterlot, just sightseeing?”
“Something a little more important than that,” Chris said, as he stared at the diamond dog curiously. “I was hoping to get an audience with the princess.”
“The princess?” Skip repeated. “You get into something with one of the locals?”
“No, I’m not in that type of trouble. Just looking for some assistance, really.”
“Well, good luck with that,” Skip said. “The princess is always getting hassled by some pony over something trivial. You might find yourself on a waiting list,” Skip said while giving Chris a once over. “…But then again, you are from far, far away, so maybe they’ll make an exception for you.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for anyway,” Chris said, taking another drag of his cigarette. “So, what are you heading to Canterlot for?”
“I’m in the trade business,” Skip answered. “Those ponies in Canterlot don’t too much fancy getting their hooves dirty searching for diamonds. So, we diamond dogs get plenty of work from them. I’m on my way to drop off an order now.”
“Didn’t realize your name meant something so literal,” Chris commented. “Even so it must be tough finding diamonds, as a profession.”
Skip shook his head as he flicked his nose with one of his claws. “If you were born with a bad nose maybe. As for me, I can sniff out a gem a mile away.”
“That’s lucky, you must rake in the cash,” Chris reasoned, as he tossed the butt of his cigarette over the railing.
“I make do, but trading gems isn’t the most profitable venture,” Skip admitted with a sigh.
“Why the hell not?” Chris asked, clearly surprised.
It was Skip’s turn to look surprised. “They’re just gems, there a bit a dozen. Anypony with a decent gem tracking spell can put a diamond dog out of work.”
“So, precious stones are common place here then?” Chris said more to himself than Skip. “That’s crazy.”
“You really are from far away, aren’t yah?” Skip said while flicking the rest of his own cigarette overboard.
“You can’t tell by looking at me?” Chris asked.
“Meh, I’ve seen creatures from all walks of life,” Skip answered. “Eventually you just stop making assumptions of critters on just what they look like.”
“Is that so? I know a few people that could learn a little bit about tolerance from you,” Chris said, recalling a few assholes he’d met in his life.
Skip chuckled. “So, what kind of business are you in, Chris?”
“None at the moment, I mean, I’m still a student. But after schooling and everything I was aiming to become a wildlife educator and naturalist.”
“A wild life educator, huh?” Skip said, looking slightly perturbed. “You’ve got some guts to want to get into a profession like that.”
“How so?” Chris asked in confusion. Originally, he’d thought that this new world would be full of strange and dangerous animals, especially after his encounter with the timberwolves, but for the most part the animal company Fluttershy had kept was no different than that of his world. He didn’t argue that some animals could be dangerous, but Skip made it sound like he had a death wish.
“Aren’t you the one looking to get into that field? Don’t you even know what lurks in places like the Everfree Forest, Gluttony Woods, and the Frost Jungle?”
“I told you, I’m from pretty far away,” Chris reasoned. “The only thing I’m sorta familiar with is the Everfree and its timberwolves, so you’ll have to fill me in on what else hides out there.”
Skip stared at Chris silently, before he chuckled gruffly. “Timberwolves may as well be cute little puppies, when you think of what else lives out in those places. Ursas, chimeras, asura tigers, mammoth bears, desert sharks, wall penguins, and salamander sphinxes, just to name a few.”
Chris couldn’t wipe the grin off his face even if he tried.
“This is the part where you’re supposed to start quaking in fear. So, why are you grinning?” Skip asked.
“I can’t help it, the thought of seeing so many animals never seen by human eyes it’s like a dream, you know what I mean?” Chris responded with enthusiasm.
“No, no, no, it’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare,” Skip argued. “You have any idea what an asura tiger is?” Chris shook his head no in response. “Imagine a beast about forty meters from head to tail, six legs and three heads fused together.”
“Six arms and three heads, like an asura of Buddhism?” Chris muttered to himself. ‘Damn, this world is nuts.’
“Don’t know what Buddhism is, but you get the idea? Anyone crazy enough too willingly expose themselves to animals like that, either have guts or are looking for an extremely painful death,” Skip concluded.
“I see, but if these animals are so frightening, what keeps them from coming out and having their way with the populace?” Chris asked, growing increasingly more interested.
“I guess they like where they are,” Skip theorized. “The truly fearsome beasts only make their homes in one of the seven anomalies.”
“Seven anomalies?” Chris repeated.
“You’re kidding, right?” Skip said while digging in his ear to remove any wax that may have been hampering his hearing. “Just how far away did you say you were from?”
“I didn’t,” Chris answered.
Skip shook his head. “Boy, your nose is about as wet as a new born pup, to have never heard of the seven anomalies.”
At that moment the door slowly creaked opened and Fluttershy poked her head out. “Um…Chris, are you out here?” she asked softly. Spotting the diamond dog first, Fluttershy made to apologize and retreat inside, but stopped when she noticed Chris was there as well.
“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” she asked. “If you want, I can leave and come back.”
“Actually, little missy, I was thinking of heading back in myself,” Skip said, as he stood up from his chair. “Canterlot is about thirty minutes away, best to be getting my things in order. You take care of yourself, Chris, and for Celestia’s sake, do some real studying before you go out and get yourself killed,” Skip finished, as he stepped around Fluttershy and back into the train.
“What was that all about…if you don’t mind my asking?” Fluttershy said once she was sure Skip was out of earshot.
Chris was quiet for a moment before finally addressing her. “Fluttershy, what do you really know about the animals in this world?”
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Didn't get this chapter out a soon as I wanted, but it is my longest chapter to date. And wow over five hundred likes, yay. Also I surpassed one hundred watchers. I know that's not many in retrospect to others, but it means a lot to me, so thanks guys. Well hope everyone likes the chapter, and I'll see you with the next update.
618041 ponibooru images don't work anymore.
Why does that guy look like PewDiePie?
moar
I LIKE IT
Strong Horns attire made me instantly think of this guy
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101118080311/onepiece/images/9/99/Kizaru4.png
Great chapter all together though, love the unique embassies
I was just lamenting the fact nothing on my favorites list has updated in a while... then bam. Good chapter, can't wait for the train wreck that will inevitably be Pinkie's party. Now that I've read this though, I can go back to sulking in a dark corner.
i like how you made strong horn like one of the admirals from one piece i just cant tell if hes just one or an combination of a couple
and omg update hurray
Minotaur swag
Woohoo! Update, and you're featured. (Again?) Can't wait to see what happens when Human #2 (Chris) shows up. As Pinkie might say, FUN!
I have been waiting so long! So long....
But now I'm happy!
Oh, MAN, I have the perfect zinger for that... only wish I was there to use it. "That's what a lot of predators said back home... and then we ate them."
Heh heh heh, was that a Dr. Falicier quote I noticed?
Also, I really liked the end part with Skip, Diamond Dogs really are underrepresented in the show and I like the idea that they have some normal business with ponies in the precious gem market.
Strong One Piece vibes in this chapter.
So in this story did the human world once connected to this world?
1710047
Judging by the style of the show I gotta say one peace
But what is his name?
1710394
admiral Kizaru
1710398
Thanks mate!
1709861
Because he can.
Another interesting and aweome chapter.
Great chapter. The pictures are lovely though I was hoping Keon would brag a little about human militarism or at least a explain a little more, otherwise pretty awesome chapter.
Shit. One update just make you want moar.
God I love this story. Please don't turn into one of those writers who don't end up finishing their stories.
You REALLY like One Piece, huh?
Well done
I am pretty damn sure that a lot of the dangerous animals that you name it where from Toriko.
1710251 Once a story gets into the feature box the first time it will show up there again every time it updates, unless the number of dislikes exceeds the number of likes.
1710321 Remember back in chapter one when Chris and Keon stumbled onto that temple that had images of equestrian creatures?
Wait...wait...hints of Epic Quest? Six other places in the world like the Everfree Forest? A card holding a future that Keon can't accept? The concept of creatures so dangerous that they have sparked the Human Compulsion in Chris?
This story just went from being 'good' to being Brilliant.
The only thing that would be better now is if Queen Chrysalis crashes the party in Maleficent-style. These humans need to see the face of Equestrian EEEEVVILLLLL.
Also, I am sure if either Keon or Chris have ever had a minor history study, they can scare the desire for war RIGHT out of Strong Horn.
I do wonder though: Why are the Buffalo not important enough to be consulted? I mean they have the antalope, so why not?
Over a hundred watchers huh? Well here is one more *doesn't watch often*
When I saw the minotaur, I thought he was a mob boss or something.
And darn it all, it seems I'm out of chapters to read. DARN!
1711698 Buffalo represented the Native Americans in the show. I wouldn't be surprised if the Three Tribes that founded Equestria were actually taking that land from the Buffalo. The Appleoosans sure didn't have any problem doing just that.
And Native Americans don't really have a country or military powers of their own.
Me gusta I read all of this in one night
from chapter one... and it was addicting
Are you really taking the story in this direction?
All this One Piece...influence seems kind of out-of-place and shoehorned in.
Wait, is that a hint of Toriko I see at the end there?...
1711466 I have been mildly disturbed.
I still think the fish thing is bs. But hey, that's just me.
Elder Zuri has friends on the other side
wow, he hasn't caused an international incident yet. should i be holding my breath?
by the way, you did an outstanding job with so many awesome unique original characters. i love each and everyone of them instantly.
An interesting read, as always. I hope you don't mind, but I've been in a really edit-y mood recently, so I'm PMing you a list of errors I found. Use it or ignore it at your leisure.
Side thought: Strong Horn's pants must be awfully difficult to put on. And does Zuri happen to commune with any demons?
I wonder what the third fortune card depicted?...
Strong Horn's blood lust amuses me.
Dang, now I wanna hear about these Seven Anomalies. Just to see if my mental image matches.
I'm wondering if Chris and Keon are going to meet up or whether it's going to turn into a kind of chase across Equestria, with Keon, Twilight and Pinkie looking for the EONs whilst Chris, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Dash are in hot pursuit.
My name is Kasper, and I actually did a double-take.
Also, I saw that 'Princess and the frog'-reference
-Glassed
DANG! This is getting really good!
"Cracks knuckles"
1709861 Never heard of him, but I'll take your word for it.
1710047 Yep Kizaru's appearance was the influence for Strong Horn.
1710054 Glad you liked the chapter, now back to the corner with you.
1710110 It's just one, Kizaru used to wear that hat before he was an admiral, and he smoked cigarettes.
1710288 That's good
1710313 Haha, that's pretty funny.
1710317 Yep, I heavily based Zuri's character after Dr. Facilier, I'd even considered giving her the shadow. Yeah I really enjoyed writing the conversation with the diamond dog, glad you liked it.
1710321 Actually I've only used a couple things from One Piece. I'd say there's more Toriko then anything.
1710504 I love that movie, I just couldn't resist.
1710555 Thank you
1710725 There's potential for things like that to come up in later conversations. I think it feels more natural to talk about things as the need arises, instead of a huge info dump all at once.
1710824 Hopefully I won't lose my muse, but I can't promise anything. As of right now, I'm pretty sure this will be finished.
1710923 LOVE IT
1711358 Right you are sir.
1711698 Yes this chapter pretty much explained where this story is headed. Also there won't be a villain that shows up, because I've intended for nature to be the antagonist of the story.
1712063 That's a lot of reading, well I hope you enjoyed it.
1712066 In what direction may I ask? As far as I understand, I haven't switched directions. it's always been a story about them getting home and that hasn't changed. The adventure tag has been there since the beginning or are you speaking of something else entirely? Also I don't see how it's too One Piece influenced. SH and TM share their attire from OP characters, Deerling has a laugh from OP, and Pembe's personality is slightly that of a OP character, that's it.
1712140 That she does.
1712157 Thanks, I try to make all my oc' interesting.
1712162 I'd like to think she keeps good company.
1712182 Sorry that won't be revealed until the very end, I mean like the last paragraph end.
1712238 Don't worry you'll hear about them.
1712454 Not sure if you want me to tell you or not.
1712519 Really I just used that name on a whim
Sweet Celestia!!! It's out! It's finally out!!!
It was soo good to read it! Now I need some rest to get my adrenalin level low again.
LOVE IT!!!!!
Dragon
wall penguins? salamander sphinxes? nice man. would be pretty funny if they got some mellow cola.
YAY NEW CHAPTER!!! 1 month is 1 month too long!
If Chris and Keon don't meet up in the next chapter I'm going to murder somebody.
Also WALL PENGUINS!
I would just like to point out, there are SEVEN different places in the world where magic is all outta wack, and one of them just so happens to be called "The Gluttony Forest?" Are my assumptions correct in that each area represents something specific..?
Strong Horn is Kizaru and Pembe is Vergo!
1713528
Eh, never mind, I'm just being a finicky little bitch about it; I tend to despise chocolate in my peanut butter when it comes anime, so to speak.
IGNORE ME!
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110610030231/yugiohenespanol/es/images/d/df/Marik.png
1711443
the CMC aren't mares they are fillies