Chapter 1: A wet Entry
Chapter 1: A wet Entry
‘Chirping?... But the sun isn’t even up. I guess they weren’t lying about that "early bird getting the worm" business,’ Chris tiredly mused to himself as he cracked his eye open to take a peek at the clock sitting on his bedside table.
‘5:26,’ Chris thought irritably. “And after I went through the trouble of setting the alarm only to wake up before the damn thing even went off,” Chris muttered to himself as he proceeded to wrench the cord from its socket stopping any chance his alarm would have to go off.
Stretching out his arms and giving an unnecessarily loud yawn Chris pried his covers from his body. Turning his attention directly to his right, Chris couldn’t help but chuckle at his roommate's sleeping position.
‘Classic,’ Chris noted as he grabbed his Iphone and snapped a quick picture of his buddy sprawled out on the adjacent bed in nothing but his boxers and right hand clearly gripping his 'nads under said boxers.
“Haha,” Chris silently chuckled. “This should be a good one to post on his facebook wall,” Chris concluded as he grabbed a pillow off his own bed and whipped it at his blissfully unaware friend. “Wake up Keon!” Chris shouted as the pillow smacked his friend directly in the face.
“Damn you,” Keon groggily said. “What are you, twelve?”
“Yeah whatever, get your ass up,” Chris said bluntly, ignoring the death glare his friend was scrutinizing him with. “I know how long you take in the shower, you’re like my sister.”
“Up yours,” Keon shot back with an added middle finger to boot. None the less he was already digging through his suitcase in search of clothes he was going to wear for the day.
“Today’s going to be awesome.” Chris said with enthusiasm while pulling back on the window curtains, revealing an early morning sky with stars still visible. “We’re actually going into Amazonia today.”
“Yip-ee,” Keon cheered sarcastically while tying his shoulder length dreads into a pony tail. “I can’t wait to get bit by numerous mutant insects; it’ll be barrels of fun.”
“Dude, if you can’t stand a few mosquito bites, perhaps zoology was maybe a bad field of study to choose, hm?” Chris chastised.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love the creatures and the critters,” Keon fired back as he headed for the bathroom. “I just think there are a few pests we’d be better off without!” Keon shouted as he closed the door behind him.
About forty minutes later Chris and Keon found themselves downstairs in the hotel lobby where their class was told to meet before they headed out.
“Is everyone here?” a rather lanky bespectacled man questioned as he came shuffling into the lobby. “We got a busy day, and we need to get a move on,” he said as he began to take roll call. Satisfied with the results the man addressed his class.
“Okay everyone I hope you’ve had breakfast because there will be no pit stops on this five hour ride into Amazonia,” the professor explained.
“Good thing I stocked up,” Keon whispered to Chris as he showed him an opening in his backpack, revealing a large amount food he managed to take from the complimentary breakfast area.
“Good call on that one,” Chris responded.
“Once we’re on the bus we’re in for the long haul, got that?” the professor finished.
The small class of zoology majors nodded their understanding.
“Good, the shuttle bus is already waiting for us, grab your things and let’s go,” the professor ordered before leading his class out the hotel door and onto a bus that had been waiting for them.
The class naturally settled in on the bus, each choosing their own way to keep busy for the long bus ride. Some had opted to simply go back to sleep while others had their cameras out, eager to take as many photos of Brazil’s countryside as possible.
“Well, I’m gonna catch some z’s,” Keon stated simply to Chris while sliding on a pair of headphones. “It’s still early as hell after all.”
“I can’t believe how unethusiastic you are about all this,” Chris complained dryly, as he pulled out his own camera. “We’re in Brazil for God’s sake, an aspiring zoologist like you should be foaming at the mouth for being here.”
“Uh, about that,” Keon said, “we’re on a bus, can’t really observe animals from a moving vehicle.”
Choosing to ignore Keon, Chris peered though his window. The sun was in full effect by this point, and a beautiful morning it was.
‘This is it,’ Chris thought as he admired the scenery as it became more rural the further they got from the city they had been in. ‘Life just seems so much more peaceful here, nature and all it’s beauty,’ Chris reasoned while taking a photo of some parrots that were flying off in the distance.
“Pretty isn’t it?” a woman said from the seat behind Chris, prompting him to listen in. “It’s a pity to think that this could all be gone someday.”
“I don’t follow,” the girl next to her returned.
“I mean at the rate humans use up natural resources,” she explained. “Our forest won’t be here forever, it’s only a matter of time before the world is just an industrial waste land.”
“Could you be any more gloomy?” a guy piped in who happened to overhear the girls comment. “Or do all conservationists have that outlook on life?”
“Shut up Michael,” the woman shot back. “It’s because of ignorant pig heads like you I’ve decided to become a conservationist. Someone has to take on the responsibility of preserving this world.”
“That’s right.” Michael chuckled. “Save the world one tree at a time.”
“Alright, enough you two,” the professor cut in. “I didn’t realize I was taking a bunch of kids on a field trip.”
Seeing that the squabble was put to rest Chris resumed looking out the window. He couldn’t help the grin on his face as he watched the scenery zip by. All his life he had loved animals and finally he was taking the first big step towards realizing his dream of working with them as a profession.
Sometime later
“Fiiinnnnaaallllyyyyy!” Keon shouted as he hopped off the bus before stretching out his stiff limbs. “I thought that damn ride was going to last forever.”
“Aww, it wasn’t that bad sleeping beauty,” Chris joked. “Besides, I got some really cool pictures.”
“That’s cute,” Keon said dismissively while reaching into his backpack and pulling out an impressive Nikon D800 camera. “But it’s time to let the professional handle things.”
“Taking pictures for your old high school year book doesn’t classify you as a professional,” Chris countered.
“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time my friend,” Keon returned before focusing his attention on taking pictures of the surrounding area.
“Hey, listen up everyone!” the professor spoke up. “I’d like to introduce you all to our guide, Rico Santos,” The professor stated while gesturing to a small Brazilian man who walked forward and gave a slight nod.
“Rico will be taking us on a three hour trek into the forest to our camp,” the professor continued to explain. “There’s a team from the San Diego zoo department waiting for us there. They will be showing you guys the ropes and taking you to get hands on experience in the field. Any questions?" the professor finished.
“Yeah, I have to take a leak,” a sturdy young man said. “And I’m hungry too.”
“Well Mr. Collons, you’ll have to use one of these lovely trees to relieve yourself because we’re on the outskirts of the Amazon forest, there are no bathrooms. As for food we have ration bars and canteens for everyone. That will have to hold you over until we reach camp.”
“Ration bars, feels like we’re in the military or something?” Chris said adjusting his backpack as well in preparation for the long walk.
“Might as well be,” Keon agreed. “Three hour hike into a hot and humid jungle carrying gear on our backs. Makes me feel like a badass marine.”
“Before we go I want everyone to pick a partner,” the professor suddenly addressed loudly. “Make sure you stay with your partner at all times. I know it sounds elementary to use the buddy system, but this jungle is dense and you will get lost if you stray from the group, so stick together,” the professor added with emphasis on together. “The last thing I want is to have to call in a search party.”
Seemingly understanding their orders the class broke off into pairs. Without any more delay they began their trek into the awaiting lush green forest before them.
After an hour or so the class stopped in a clearing to take a break and recoup.
“If anyone feels the need to use the little ladies room, now’s your chance,” the professor offered from his slumped position against a tree. Wiping the sweat from his brow and cleaning his glasses he concluded, “Make sure you take your partner and don’t wander far.”
“Yo Chris, I need to drain the main vein,” Keon said while taping Chris on the shoulder.
Nodding his understanding Chris got up and followed his friend as they walked off from the group.
“Hey, don’t you think this is far enough?” Chris said noticing that they had walked much further than necessary.
“Nah, a little further, I don’t want the professor getting a whiff of this,” Keon reasoned with a large grin as he pulled out a plastic bag and dangled it in Chris’s face.
“How the hell did you get that through customs?” Chris whispered while quickly looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed them.
“Are you stupid?” Keon replied as though that were the dumbest question he had ever heard. “No way in hell would I try sneaking this shit on a plane. There was a shady looking guy back at the hotel who sold it to me.”
“And you’re just going to smoke it?” Chris asked while shaking his head in amusement.
“Yep, the guy was even kind enough to throw in some complimentary rolling papers,” Keon answered while chuckling like an idiot.
“Pft, well you do your thing. I’m ah step a little away, so I don’t reek like you,” Chris reasoned making his way a distance from Keon. “Just make sure you hurry up, our break is only twenty minutes,” Chris added as he reached for his camera, to give himself something to do while his friend indulged in his illegal pleasure.
After Chris had walked a fair distance away he had taken notice of a strange bird call he hadn’t heard before.
‘That’s a weird bird call, sounds almost like singing,’ Chris thought as he made an attempt to follow the sound, occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure Keon was still in viewing distance.
As the sound became louder Chris became increasingly intrigued, so much in fact that he had completely forgotten about keeping Keon in viewing distance.
Finally spying the animal that had been making the sound Chris’s jaw dropped in amazement. “…What the hell is that?” Chris mouthed quietly to himself.
Perched in a tree a short distance away stood a magnificent orange and golden colored bird. The color scheme gave the bird an appearance as though it were made of flames.
Reaching for his camera, Chris couldn’t help but feel nervous at the prospect of missing his chance to get a picture of the bird. He was almost certain that nothing like it had been documented before.
‘This bird is like something out of legend,’ Chris mused as he adjusted his lens and snapped the photo. Looking down at his camera's LCD, his heart sank when he noticed that the photo was nothing more than a bright blur, as though he had taken a picture of the sun. “Damn!”
The bird instantly took notice of Chris’s outburst and immediately stretched out its wings.
‘Shit! It’s going to try and fly away,’ Chris thought frantically while trying to get his camera back into its photo mode.
Before Chris could finish the bird had leapt from its branch and taken off.
“Fuck!” Chris shouted, deciding to chase after the bird, determined not to let the rare find get away from him. “Okay I won’t follow it too far,” Chris reasoned, desperately trying to take photos of the bird. Only to get the same sun glare effect with each attempt.
“What the hell is going on!?” Chris shouted in angry confusion. “Why can’t I take a picture of this damn bir...”
Chris was cut off mid sentence as he suddenly lost his footing and found himself tumbling painfully down a hill that he hadn't noticed coming up ahead of him.
“Guwhaaa!!” he grunted as he rolled down the hill, bumping into rocks and branches along the way.
Finally hitting his head particularly hard on a tree stump, Chris lost consciousness.
‘What is this…why am I so wet and cold?’ Chris thought as he slowly opened his eyes, revealing an area almost too dark to see in. “Where am I?” he questioned to no one in particular.
“In a pit,” a voice answered dryly, that Chris instantly recognized as Keon’s.
Squinting his eyes, his vision slowly began to focus in the low light environment.
“A pit?” Chris muttered as he looked up and surely enough a gaping hole, stretching a good twenty feet above them, could be seen. “How the fuck did we get down here?”
“You don’t remember?” Keon asked from a nearby rock he was sitting on. “I guess I’m not that surprised, you did take some nasty bumps,” Keon said while pointing to a gash over the left side of Chris’s forehead.
Reaching to touch where his friend had pointed to, Chris winced in pain. “Well, enlighten me with the details,” Chris said irritably.
“You were chasing after something,” Keon began. “I saw you just start running, so I followed you. You kept taking pictures of something, but I couldn’t tell what. Eventually I lost sight of you when you went over the hill.”
Chris’s eyes widened. “I remember now, I was after this bird, I just wasn’t paying attention to anything else,” he summarized as he turned his attention to Keon. “But how did you get down here?”
“Simple, I wasn’t paying much attention either and this damn hill caught me by surprise too. I fell in right after you,” Keon finished.
“How long have we been down here?” Chris asked in a panicked tone.
“'Bout thirty minutes, so relax,” Keon said. “Our class has probably only been looking for us for a little while now.”
“Why don’t we just climb out?” Chris offered.
“Thanks, I never would have thought of that on my own,” Keon shot back sarcastically. “Take a look around, there’s zero foot holds.”
“Damn, this is all that bird's fault,” Chris grumbled.
“Bird, so what kind of bird convinced you it was important enough for you to chase it and end up in this pit?" Keon asked with mock interest.
Sighing to himself Chris looked at Keon with a serious expression. “I don’t know what it was, the closest thing I can even compare it to doesn’t even exist in real life.”
Keon wore a confused expression on his face at Chris’s words. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it looked like a…like ah…like a Phoenix, okay!” Chris spat out.
Keon simply stared at Chris for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Haha, a Phoenix? Like the ones that burst into flame then are born again from their ashes or something like that? You must have hit your head harder than I thought.”
“I’m not joking, I swear. If I didn’t know any better I’d say the thing really was a Phoenix,” Chris argued. “What’s even weirder is every time I tried to take a picture of it, I only got a weird light glare instead.”
“That’s just you not knowing how to set up your camera right,” Keon said. “Or maybe Phoenix’s just aren’t very photogenic,” he added with a smirk.
“You know what, up yours,” Chris fired back. “I know what I saw you jackass.”
Simply shrugging Keon stood up and tossed Chris his now broken camera. “I found it on the ground down here. Needless to say your spill down that hill wasn’t so kind to it.”
“That sucks,” Chris stated plainly as he observed his battered camera. “Thing cost me three hundred bucks. But never mind that, what should we do?”
“I don’t know, we could wait it out here,” Keon offered. “I figure it should only take a few hours for them to find us. Or we could see if there’s a way out down there.” He added while pointing an index finger in the direction behind Chris.
Looking over his shoulder, Chris cocked his eyebrow at the apparent path behind him. Before Chris could make a decision the familiar call of the bird he had chased suddenly echoed from the tunnel.
“Uh…what the hell was that?” Keon asked dumbly.
“No way…that’s the sound of the bird I was following,” Chris answered as he stood up and faced the dark tunnel ahead of them.
“I’m no ornithologist, but last time I checked birds don’t sound like that,” Keon said, his skepticism clear in his voice.
“Then let’s find out,” Chris challenged.
“So, let me get this straight, you want to go looking for the bird that got us in this fix in the first place,” Keon repeated to make sure he got the details right.
The bird cry echoed throughout the tunnel once more.
“I’m going,” Chris said as he opened up his backpack and pulled out a flashlight. “Who knows, there may be a way out?”
Shaking his head Keon also pulled out a flashlight from his backpack. “I know I’m going to regret this,” he muttered to himself as he made to follow Chris into the tunnel.
“So, uh, what do you plan on naming this bird if it really does turn out to be an undiscovered species?” Keon questioned trying to make small talk as they trekked through the small tunnel. “I mean, the way you describe it doesn’t sound like anything on record.”
“I don’t know, haven’t really thought about it,” Chris admitted. “Given the circumstances, it just really hasn’t been on my mind.”
Nodding his understanding Keon stopped when his flashlight illuminated something that caught his interest.
“Wait Chris, stop,” Keon ordered.
Doing as his friend instructed Chris stopped and turned his attention to what his friend was staring at.
“What is this?” Chris asked as he stared at what was before him.
“Not sure, looks like some kind of ancient mural,” Keon answered, observing the large carved out pictures on the side of the tunnel. “It’s hard to make out, but they look like horses or maybe ponies,” he said as he tried to wipe away some of the dirt and vines that were obstructing his view.
“You’re right,” Chris agreed. “But that one there’s a pegasus, and the one to right is a unicorn.” Chris pointed out as he continued to study the mural with interest. “Holy shit!” Chris suddenly yelled.
“Wha-what is it?” Keon stuttered in surprise.
“That bird, that’s it, that’s the same bird I was following,” Chris said while pointing to a fiery looking bird carved out on the wall.
“Damn, you’re right, it does kind of look like a Phoenix,” Keon said just as a familiar cry echoed throughout the tunnel yet again, although much louder.
Both boys turned their attention in the direction of the cry and stared in silence for a moment.
“You don’t think we stumbled on some ancient ruins, do you?” Keon asked quietly.
“I guess we’re going to find out soon enough,” Chris said, making to head in the direction of the sound yet again with Keon close behind him.
After what seemed like a good hour or so to both boys the tunnel finally began to open up and gave way to a small cavern. The cavern somehow had adequate light to see by for a place that was underground.
Both Chris and Keon stared around for a moment with shocked expressions on their faces. The cavern had four statues stationed at the far wall, directly in front of them.
“So, can someone tell me why there are four horse statues down here?” Keon asked sarcastically.
“Only one of them is a horse,” Chris corrected. “The one in the middle is a unicorn, the one on the left is a pegasus, and obviously the one on the right is a normal horse,” Chris reasoned just as he brought his attention to the final statue that was on a pedestal above the other three. “But I don’t know what that one is,” Chris admitted.
“So, it’s got wings like a pegasus and a horn like a unicorn,” Keon summarized. “Maybe it’s a unisus?”
“There’s no such thing,” Chris countered. “It has to be a pegacorn.”
“Oh, come on, that’s just as stupid as what I said,” Keon began to argue, but stopped as something caught his attention.
“Well, I’ll be damned, there’s a diamond on that horse's crown!” Keon shouted, pointing at the weird statue atop the pedestal.
“I don’t believe it,” Chris said while positioning his flashlight on the diamond. “It’s huge.”
“We’re rich!” Keon shouted. “That diamond has to be worth God knows how much, let's get it.”
“Oh yeah,” Chris whole heartedly agreed, feeling as though he just won the lottery.
But as they made to take a step forward, an orange and golden, seemingly glowing, bird suddenly landed atop the crown of the statue. Both boys simply stared at the bird for a moment in awe.
Finally finding his voice, Keon spoke. “Am I really seeing this? Birds like this aren’t real; this thing is something straight out of a fairytale.”
“I told you,” Chris whispered back. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”
“Well, at least I’ll be able to get a proper picture of it,” Keon said as he slowly moved to retrieve his camera. “Who knows, if we’re lucky maybe we could catch it?” he added as he began to snap pictures of the bird that was now staring at them with an unreadable expression.
“That oughta do it,” Keon said with a large grin that quickly became a frown as he took notice of his LCD. “What the hell is this?” he questioned aloud, for nothing but a glare appeared on his LCD.
“Don’t tell me all you got was a glare too?” Chris asked nervously.
“I did,” Keon confirmed while continuing to flip through all the pictures he had taken of the bird, only to find them all to be nothing more than a blurred glare. “This is impossible, hell that bird is impossible.”
“Yeah, this is starting to get weird,” Chris admitted. “Let's get that diamond and get the hell out of here.”
When Chris made to move towards the statue the bird began to let out a loud cry that sounded like a peaceful melody.
Chris and Keon simply stared at the bird as it sang.
“Fuck this, it’s just a bird,” Keon assured himself as he ignored its ominous singing and walked right up to the statue and climbed on top of the unicorn in order to reach the diamond on top of the middle statue's crown.
The bird simply ignored Keon and continued to sing.
“Damn…you…come…on.” Keon grunted as he tried to wrench the diamond free of the crown.
“Keon stop!” Chris shouted as he noticed the eyes on the horse statues suddenly began to glow.
“Why?” Keon shouted back whilst still making an attempt to pry the diamond free.”
“Just look!” Chris ordered.
Looking down at the statue he was currently trying to deprive of its diamond Keon’s eyes widened at the glowing eyes staring back at him. “Holy shit!” He shouted in fear, right after falling from his position on top of the unicorn and onto his back.
“Keon, let’s go, this is too freaky!” Chris hollered to his friend only to fall to the ground as the cavern began to violently shake. “An earthquake!?”
“Oh my God, we’re going to die!” Keon shouted, desperately getting up to his feet just to be knocked back down by the violent shaking of the cavern.
The fear in both boys was exponentially raised as the cavern suddenly began to fill with water from seemingly nowhere. The bird's singing had become painfully loud by this point.
“What is going on!?” Chris tried to shout over the deafening cry of the bird. “Where is all this water coming from?”
“Like I know!” Keon shouted back, frantically trying to stuff his camera into his waterproof backpack. “We have to get back to the tunnel before it fills with water."
“There’s no point!” Chris said. “It took us over an hour to make it down that tunnel. At this rate it’ll be completely submerged in a minute.”
“So what…we just give up!?” Keon asked in a panic. “I’m not ready to die!”
“I don’t know,” Chris answered solemnly, finally realizing that the water was already at his neck and he now had to swim to stay afloat.
Turning his attention to the only other living thing in the cavern that didn’t appear to be fearing for its life, Chris stared heatedly at the bird. “It’s you isn’t it? You’re doing this, you did all this!”
The bird at that moment stopped singing and simply stared into Chris’s eyes. Looking as though it were amused, it then began to glow an immensely bright gold.
Meanwhile Keon was rambling to himself. “I’m too young, there’s so many things I haven’t done yet. I wanted to beat boshy, see the Avengers 2, buy a house, marry a hot woman, have kids, shit, I would have settled for just having had sex in my life. My God… I’m going to die a virgin!”
Chris would have loved nothing more than to tell Keon to shut the hell up, but he couldn’t fault the guy for trying to get everything out of his system before they died.
“So, I guess this is it man,” Chris said as he swam over to Keon and put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from his almost incoherent rambling. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”
“Just stop.” Keon cut him off, his voice still thick with fear. “It was fate; it’s not like either of us could have known something like this could happen. Besides we’ve been best friends for fifteen years, I guess if I have to die with someone I’m glad it’s you.”
Both guys shared a laugh at the pitiable joke.
“A joker to the end,” Chris said with a smile while lifting his fist, which Keon bumped with his own.
“You know it,” he replied as tears welled in his eyes. “See you when we get there.” Keon managed to choke out just as the water completely rose above their heads and filled the cavern.
Taking a look around at the flooded cavern, Chris could only stare at the bird beneath him, that didn’t appear to be affected by the water at all. The bird was still glowing like the sun. Even though he was only a mere breath away from death, Chris felt at complete peace watching the bird.
Finally, not being able to hold his breath any longer, Chris sucked in a lung full of water before he completely lost consciousness.
Sometime later
‘Cold, it’s really freaking cold? And why am I wet, is this what it feels like to be dead?’ Chris wondered to himself. ‘I did drown; maybe you go to the after life in the condition you died. But my body still hurts from that fall I took; I thought death ended all pain,’ Chris mused to himself.
Tiredly opening his eyes, they slowly adjusted to the night sky above him. “It’s night?” Chris spoke weakly observing the night sky, and breathing in its cool air. “I’ve never seen so many stars in the sky before,” Chris noted as he turned over in the grass he was lying in and began to cough up small amounts of water.
‘Did someone save me? I feel like I’m still alive,’ Chris wondered as he attempted to stand up, but fell back down due to his legs giving out from fatigue. ‘Then again, I don’t know what it feels like to be dead, so maybe I really am,’ he reasoned before taking notice of a nearby tree.
‘I’m so tired; my whole body feels like jell-o,’ Chris thought as he crawled towards the tree. ‘If I could just get some rest…’ Chris trailed off once again losing consciousness.
Elsewhere
“Captain, Captain!” a young stallion guard shouted as he galloped towards his commander.
“Easy there, what’s got you in such a hurry?” the captain asked.
“Okay, I went to check out that splash in the garden pond, just like you ordered me and you’ll never guess what I found floating in there.” The young guard said with excitement.
“Well, what did you find?” the commander questioned.
The guard made to answer, but stopped and a look of confusion spread across his face. “That’s just it; I don’t know what it is. You just have to see it!” he squealed like a young filly.
Cocking his brow the captain sighed. He had to admit his new recruit was something of a hoof full, none the less it was his duty to check out whatever it was that got one of his officers in such a state. “Very well, take me there.”
“Right away, Sir!”
A moment later both ponies entered the garden and headed towards the pond.
“There it is, Captain,” the guard stated with a large grin as they approached a dark figure sprawled out on the ground. “I pulled it right out of the water, I’m sure it would have drowned hadn’t I pulled it out.”
“Uh huh,” the captain said. “You sure it ain’t already dead?” he questioned before they were close enough to view it. “What in all of Equestria is that?” he asked more to himself than the guard with him as he observed the unconscious being before him.
“Some kind of animal maybe?” the young guard offered.
“Ain’t like any animal I’ve ever seen, and it’s got clothes on, and something on its rear hooves,” the captain summarized before taking notice of something he found strange. “What in the hay are those?” he questioned out loud pointing down at the creature's hands.
“Don’t know,” the guard said while rubbing his front hoof on his chin in a thinking pose. “It’s not like any hoof I’ve seen, or paw or claw for that matter. So what do you suppose we should do, Captain?”
“Not sure, we don’t have protocol for something this weird showing up in the palace garden.” The captain said, “I suppose we should alert one of the princesses, they’ll know what to do with it.”
“Okay, I’ll get right on it, Captain,” the young guard offered eagerly.
“No, I’ll have to go myself, so no pony asks any questions,” the captain explained. “Best we keep this finding to as few ponies as possible in the mean time.”
“Very well, I’ll make sure no pony enters until your return with the princess,” the guard said with a salute.
“Yeah, just make sure not to mess with it,” the captain warned as he began to walk away. “Last thing I want is that thing waking up before the princess arrives,” he finished.
It took the captain no more than ten minutes to reach the princess's chambers. Steeling his resolve the captain tapped his hoof on the door in front of him.
A moment later a booming voice echoed from behind the door. “Who art thou who disturbs Princess Luna at such an hour of the night!?...I mean…who is it?” she corrected herself in a much softer tone.
“Sorry to disturb you, your Majesty. It is I, the captain of the western squadron,” he answered. “We have a bit of a situation on our hooves.”
Opening the door, a rather tall pony stepped out. She had a dark, smooth coat with a translucent, indigo, flowing mane that resembled the night sky. Her appearance also consisted of a pair of wings and a unicorn horn atop her head. “What is this situation you speak of?” she questioned.
“It’s complicated, it would be best to simply show you,” the captain said with a bow of his head.
“Very well, I shall accompany you to said situation,” Luna responded as she gestured for the captain to lead the way.
Once Luna and the captain arrived on the scene she stared down at the creature with wide eyes.
“My stars, I’ve never seen such a beast.” She muttered silently while observing the creature intensely. Bringing her snout down closer to it she sniffed it a few times. “It smells…funny,” she noted as she moved her hoof towards its mouth and spread its lips open. “My word, it has canines.”
“So, it’s dangerous then?” the captain inquired.
“I can’t say for certain,” Luna responded, pointing her hoof at its mouth. “It also has molars, so it doesn’t strictly eat meat. Regardless, this is quite a discovery, there’s never been anything like this found in Equestria, or anywhere for that matter.”
“You don’t think it’s some kind of alien do you?” the young guard interjected, his excitement evident.
“If it were I’d expect that it would have come in some sort of vessel,” Luna reasoned. “How did you say you found it?”
“There was a splash in the pond, so I went to check it and found it floating right there.” The guard answered pointing his hoof towards the pond.
“That makes it sound like if fell out of the sky,” Luna said. “In the mean time we should get this…uh, thing out of sight. I’ll tell Celestia about this while you see to that.”
Nodding their understanding, both the captain and the guard began dragging the unconscious man towards the castle.
The Following Morning
The familiar sound of birds chirping roused Chris from his slumber. Everything seemed hazy to him, as though his memories where a mash up of bizarre events. Finally coming to his senses, Chris’s eyes shot open.
“Oh my God, I’m dead!” he shouted in a panic. His eyes scrunched together as the bright light of the sun assaulted his pupils.
“So bright,” he noted trying to let his eyes adjust to the bright light. Once they did Chris took in his surroundings.
He noticed he was a few meters from a lake. “I guess that explains these damp clothes,” he pieced together. “But something seems…off. I know I drowned, that much I’m certain of,” he said. “So this has to be the afterlife, but why do I feel the same?” he questioned himself, observing the many cuts and bruises on his body.
“I don’t see any pearly white gates or fire and brim stone. So is this really the next world?”
Standing to his feet Chris studied his surroundings carefully. For the most part, he noticed, the world around him just seemed like a really nice country area, although more vibrant. He couldn’t quite explain it, but the grass and sky and trees just seemed more colorful than usual.
“This is weird, one moment I’m in a random cavern in Brazil filling up with water, and now I’m in some countryside only God knows where.” Chris’s musings were put on hold when he noticed something off in the distance.
It was hard to make out, but Chris was certain he could see a castle protruding out of a mountain side in the far off distance. “Well, that’s something you don’t see everyday,” Chris muttered to himself, as he pulled off his backpack to check his gear.
He grinned to himself, seeing that his waterproof backpack had proven to be a good investment after all. Reaching for his phone, he grabbed it with haste. Turning it on, his face fell, seeing zero bars.
“Pfft, I should have known,” he chastised himself. “I didn’t have reception in Brazil. Why the hell would I have it here, wherever the hell here is?”
Sighing to himself Chris closed his backpack. Apart from some clothes, a compass and a pack of poptarts he hadn’t much with him. His flashlight was lost back at the cavern and his camera was a lost cause.
Taking one more look back at the mountainside castle, Chris decided he really only had one option, get to whatever the hell that castle was. “That castle had to be built by someone,” Chris reasoned, as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “I have to find out where I am and how in the hell I got here.”
His only problem was an eerie looking forest that stood in between him and that castle.
Authors Note
Well that was fun never thought I’d be writing a MLP story. But it’s hard to read other stories without getting inspired to try your own hand at it. I hope you found the opening adequate, and please feel free to leave me some feedback so that I may improve.
Anyway I’ll see you with the next chapter later.
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Okay, I haven't read it yet, but congrats: you actually got me interested by the zoology angle.
Interesting...you're off on a good start. Let's see how well you progress...
Haven't read yet, initial thoughts:
6.5k words? Smells like commitment.
Whatever-gists seem to be popular with ponies.
WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLLLLLL... oh, damnit, wrong thought process.
OK, read it now, and I have only one thing to say...
Go on.....
Interesting concept and storyline so far,
I'll be waiting for updates.
YAY!! Luna!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-emvp1EJv8Tg/TbiaREieCuI/AAAAAAAAD2Q/n7J6JQj_bZI/s1600/8750+-+animated+dancing+luna+moon.gif
Great story, sounds promising.
I normally never give a thumbs up for only one chapter as I like to get a better feel of the story before I rate it.
But the length of the chapter, quality of the writing and premise of the story convinced me to feel otherwise.
So without further ado
i.imgur.com/76Ljw.gif
Keep up the good work. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
597856 Yep there will be alot more Luna so stay tuned.
600524 Thanks, I'm already well underway with the next chapter.
666 views
Sorry, I just had to do that. Oh well, onto comment
Greatly interested so far, I'm not one for HiE stories (usually), but the Zoology concept brought me in, and I think I shall continue reading for now
Wow, that was a lot more... substantial, than I expected from a 6k word first chapter!
Im liking this Keon guy, gona read more.
That story is awesome.
You just made my day.
I wonder if Keon is Jamaican. You know, the braids and the Jamaican aura surrounding him
i like it so far
cant wait to read the rest and i have a lot to read keep up the good work
Dat title
Something I never get is why are hands such a strange thing in the mlp universe. Iron Will had hands >.>
mlpchan.net/site/src/1342220091547.png
~Have a good one.
roll call maybe?
already liking this story
2001144
Yeah, well Iron Will is the only thing that actually has hands in the MLP universe. There arent any minotaurs besides him mentioned or shown in the show, but it might be that his race lives far away.
“Pretty isn’t it?” a woman said from the seat behind Chris, prompting him to listen in. “It’s a pity to think that this could all be gone someday.”
“I don’t follow,” the girl next to her returned.
“I mean at the rate humans use up natural resources,” she explained. “Our forest won’t be here forever, it’s only a matter of time before the world is just an industrial waste land.”
“Could you be any more gloomy?” a guy piped in who happened to overhear the girls comment. “Or do all conservationists have that outlook on life?”
“Shut up Michael,” the woman shot back. “It’s because of ignorant pig heads like you I’ve decided to become a conservationist. Someone has to take on the responsibility of preserving this world.”
Worst Zoology Students ever. I studied Ecology we were all hard core environmental nerds, Michel would have been made fun of relentlessly.
Interesting so far!
Great way to avoid direct information! So Keon wakes up on the castle grounds, while Chris wakes up somewhere near Pony(Uni)ville?
Sorry. Its just...this was a great way to avoid unnecessary language, involving bits of foresight, and letting the readers figure out bits and pieces along the way. Great storytelling, and I'm looking to see more from you of this high quality.
Your friendly 'Neigh' borhood Critic And HIE Connoisseur,
ISA
IkioSTAR the STARBORN.
P.S. I'm sure he's going to make an appearance, so be sure to look out for my Crazy Alter-Me, and his random 1/2-sense.... he's appeared on my last 5 comments....I'm certain he's going to make an appearance..... .... ....*sigh* Ok, whew, maybe no---
Alter-me: THIS GON BE GOOD....OR BAD....YELLING IS FUN!!!!
Me: *looks up* Goddaminit....FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-----
“Ration bars, feels like we’re in the military or something?” Chris said adjusting his backpack as well in preparation for the long walk.
instead put
“Ration bars? Are we in the military or something?” Chris said adjusting his backpack as well in preparation for the long walk.
OR
“Ration bars, feels like we’re in the military or something.”
These are only two ways to fix this but you get the drill. I liked this story a lot.
"Makes me feel like a badass marine" Why does the Army never get any loving
...
I know that feel, bro. i can't even do it on super easy mode...
Ive only read this chapter so far and its pretty good
Awesome
My only problem with this so far is that if they're aspiring zoologists, I would think they should have been surprised to find south american ruins depicting horses - they were only ever native to North America, and the ones there went extinct around 7,000+ years ago, only to be reintroduced by European colonists and explorers.
Massive Edit: One more issue for me would be the formatting, or lack thereof. It's not a big thing, and it certainly doesn't make it unreadable or anything, but centering titles (i.e. "The Following Morning," "Some Time later," etc.) and italicizing words that should receive emphasis goes a long way towards making a story look polished. Another minor thing is that you're using a lot of paragraph breaks - again, not bad per se, and certainly better than having none (like some stories of this site), but makes it look a bit sparse. Grammar conventions are iffy on that kind of thing, and what looks good can differ from what's exactly correct, so I understand having trouble with that (I do too, at times). Simple example:
This is technically correct, but (at least IMO) it might flow better if spaced something like this:
Just my overly-critical 2 cents, of course. I do like where this is going, and I'll keep reading ahead.
Late Edit: Also, there should (near as I can tell) be an "apostrophe-s" ['s] after Zoologist in the title. :P
2001144 he had hands you say? may i ask,what happened to them?
Oddly, there is a piece of art that seems very similar to a scene in this fic. It's two human figures in a large ruined chamber, examining—and here my memory becomes questionable—what I think was a statue of a MLP-style pony. There may even have been a live phoenix in the scene somewhere. There was water in the chamber, but it didn't seem like it was flooding at the time, and I think there was light coming in but I also seem to remember that it seemed like the chamber was more underground than not. The look of the place seemed consistent with being in South America.
Unfortunately, although I thought I had saved a copy of this and the location of where I had found it on the Internet, I apparently am able to locate neither at this time.
Given the lack of this artwork being the cover art for your fic, I take it that this is not something you've seen? If so, what a coincidence! If you have seen it, did it inspire this story? Or the other way around??
this is AWESOME
A few small details that I have a problem with:
1. How are we supposed to pronounce Keon's name?
2. "Sometime later" doesn't seem like an appropriate way to skip time. Perhaps a simple break would work.
3. Against a $300 point-and-shoot, the person holding the D800 may as well be a professional.
4. Chris "reaches for his camera" several times in the same scene, six lines apart, and he did not drop it or let go of it in any of those lines. Does he have two? And what kind of camera is it? I'm sure Chris must be a little self-conscious against Keon's aforementioned big
peniscamera.5. The phoenix is quickly classified as "something out of legend" when you'd think a zoologist to be more open to the diversity of natural life.
6. Awfully inconvenient that Chris' camera breaks, but whatever. What about Keon's D800? Is that okay? Please, god, let it be okay.
7. I suppose I'm not coming in to this with an outsider's perspective, but I'm pretty sure Pegasus is generally considered a name and not a breed. That is to say, Pegasus is the name of the only winged horse that most people are familiar with. And even though unicorns are commonly known as a breed and can be shown in a herd, I think it'd be most convincing for the boys to be confused over the prospect of both chimeras regardless of their prevalence. Conversely, it should be obvious to them what the alicorn statue is supposed to represent. Not having a name for it should not be confusing in this way.
8. Again, zoologists.
9. I was once close to drowning, and there was some water in my lungs and a lot in my stomach. After getting onto solid ground, the first thing I did was vomit. The second thing I did was retch for half an hour. Talking to myself was not a high priority, although when I had breath I would take the time to quietly protest my own stupidity. I do not mean this to be the 'right' way to portray Chris' resuscitation, but I find it a little silly how sucking water into the lungs is passed off as easily as a bump on the head.
10. Horses have canines. You have no idea how much I hate the focus on canine teeth in these fanfics.
11. Where is Chris in the final scene? Wait a minute... when Luna ordered the guards to take him out of sight, did they just dump him in some bushes or something? What's up with that?
TL;DR: This isn't very good. One of the problems is lack of realism.
There are plenty of big details that I have big problems with, but chances are you don't want to hear even this much, and may not have even read this far. So this will do for now.
Hmm I will bite what happens NEXT?(dam kindle)
3442997 I happened to them
So that's what you were up to that day...
... maybe...
Flame, what have I told you about eating hands?
That it's only for Lamas named Carle?
I love the story.
but I hope you do more chapters
3442997 lrya happend
Considering Chris nearly drowned, his phone should have been done.
4987921 but it was in a waterproof backpack
6249649 True, but you have to admit his camera is toast.
4052933
The one they found from the pond is Keon, while Chris woke up in the middle of nowhere.
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11325616
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