I am a relatively new brony who wishes to write and read some of the fanfic. I prefer heavy and intricate plots. I despise forcing ships on others. My favorite villain (and hero) is Starlight Glimmer.
The alternate story of if Starlight Glimmer was more committed to her beliefs, and had actually planned for the possibility of if she was discovered. This is the story of the possible future, starting from when everypony did not turn against her.
Now with Sequel: Foundations of Equality
Cover art by ImpCJCaesar
Currently edited by EloquentElephant
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is great! Can't wait for more :rarity wink:
Constructive criticism: transcript
That "name needed" was Double Diamond, apparently.
Also, like'd and fav'd!
5914080 Yeah, I kind of forgot to insert the names
Hopefully that won't happen again. Also, thank you for that transcript.
MOAR um plz
also lightning dust is part of the town?ヽ(￣～￣ )ノ
sorry, I don't buy any of the Mane 6 actually breaking
This is interesting.
I can't wait to see whether she is on their side!
why did Spike contact Shining Armor rather than Princess Celestia
Next to join... Apple Jack ,then....Flutters, then..... Twilight and finally we have Rainbow Dash at the rear!
So now Glimmer knows she only has so long to break the rest of the mane six. And if they find out SA is coming, she'll get the hope to hang on.
Why do I get the feeling AJ snapped the others out of it instead?
5949802 I know right!?
I thought I saw a small streak of gold and white going south east, but I doubt it was anything.
A paranoid mare like Starlight doesn't seem the type to dismiss THAT as nothing.
Starlight thinks her finish line is to get the mane six on her side before the Guard arrives (at which point she knows she's screwed). But I get the feelings she has a noose tightening around her neck that she isn't noticing.
The thing about the Element of Magic, with the others its the strongest, but without the other five, its the weakest. This goes for Twilight as a person as well.
5956850 While I completely agree with you, that Twilight needs her friends to stand with her to be strong, we also know that she is willing to be stubborn and fight for her friendships. While I do not see her being able to withstand these attacks forever, I do see her as the Princess of Friendship, and in my opinion, she would fight for her belief that individuals, not equal ponies, form friendships. Then again, this is just my opinion.
5956877
"It's FOR your friends you should give in. Can't you see you're hurting Fluttershy by doing this to yourself? Don't you WANT to be out and about with your friends? Are you that selfishly attached to your power?"
5956900 Who said anything about Fluttershy being hurt by this? Or anyone telling Twilight Sparkle so? Sure, her friends have visited her (on rare occasions), but have they actually tried to convince her... Well, I'm afraid I haven't gotten that far yet.
5956928
I'm just giving dialogue Starlight could use to manipulate Twilight and aim at her weak points.
5956900
"You've hurt my friends more than I ever could. You're not the first being to alter my friends' minds, to isolate me from them. I fought for them then, even though it was difficult and I'll keep doing it now."
5957600
"It's cutie marks that alter ponies' minds. It's only without cutie marks that we can know true freedom."
How could Starlight do something this insane? How Twilight has something that she can use to destroy Starlight's entire scheme. Loyalty by threat is no loyalty at all! Twilight will spend every waking moment chaffing under that, and will spend every waking moment looking for a way to rebel against her. And the others are only going to be gone for a number of days, not forever! Starlight has no long term plan this way!
I can imagine the others mentioning Magical Mystery Cure and telling Twilight how it's clear that cutie marks enslave ponies.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/257968/one-plus-one-will-always-equal-two-here
5960568 Is it flawed? Yes, of course it is. However, Shining Armor was going to be at the town soon, and Twilight's resistance continued. This plan, while short term, will keep Shining Armor from laying waste to the town and arresting Starlight. It may not be a good plan, but its the best one she could come up with on short notice.
Hmm........I'm not liking of what Starlight just planned.
Twilight can still write can't she? She can still do minor magic. So she could easily pass a note to Shining. And I can't see how Starlight can effectively keep Shining from demanding some time alone with Twilight to talk with her. Or point out as a Princess of Equestria she has other duties she has to attend to. And if anyone else discovers what she did they could turn on her
Quite frankly the story is derailed. If this is the best your version of Starlight can come up with there's no point going any further. She's beaten
Princess Twilight is breaking down, if this keeps up she might kill herself. Maybe necklaces was a bad idea after all. And the thought of the necklaces would begin to warm up and become tight around a pony's neck. After an hour, they would be hot enough to begin to melt. That would tear Twilight's heart and soul apart.
M.O.A.R. right. Now. Get to it
Did Rainbow crack already? o.o I don't remember it being mentioned in a chapter.
5967357 but the necklace isn't around Twilight's neck... its around her friends' necks.
5967422 I know. But like I said and let me refaze it. The thought Twilight thinking of the necklaces around her friends' necks would begin to warm up and become tight around a their neck. After an hour, they would be hot enough to begin to melt. That would tear Twilight's heart and soul apart.
I wonder what the hell the ponies do with changeling prisoners of war since they NEED love to live.
5967446 In that case, I completely misunderstood your old comment. Woops, my bad.
5967527 That's something the comics might have to explain unfortunately since it's practically the only form of MLP FIM content with few restrictions. Uh I think at least.
5967617 It's ok.
Somehow these kind of stories I don't like
Are you completely forgetting rainbow cause you have not one mention of her turning over?
this story has some very serious flaws. For one thing in pumping up Starlight you're really tearing down Twilight and the others. There should be more ponies looking into what's going on.
Also, I get the feeling that Starlight's question about their happiness is supposed to be some armor piercing question. But Twilight has seen her friends manipulated mentally before and being happy. Their discorded selves were pretty much perfectly happy as they were.
I wonder where this story is going.
6005421 While I thank you for your criticisms (and pointing out problems that I had to address), even though I disagree with some of your analysis, I can't help but wonder if you actually like the story or not. Also, in my mind, her discorded friends were not exactly "happy", except fluttershy. Applejack looked like she swallowed a lemon every time she lied, Pinky was literally anti-happy, Rainbow Dash was... lazy? Sloth-like? I dont know. Even Twilight when she was her discorded self was sad, as shown by her tears that made her turn dark.
6007467
no, I'd have to say I didn't really enjoy it. Rarity was quite happy with Tom. Dash was quite content to kick back and do nothing. Pinkie seemed to enjoy making nasty comments; Ie "This looks like fun but it's not." If she actually wasn't enjoying it she could have gotten off the soap road(I think that's what it was, it's been a while." And Applejack looking like she was biting a lemon wasn't her being unhappy lying, it was her being bad at it. She had a lousy poker face
6007504 I'll have to rewatch the episode later. I'll look into this a bit, I can assure you. I'd really hate for the story to not fit canon (even if it IS an AU). If you find anymore flaws (other than you've already pointed out) feel free to send me a message listing all of them out. This is my first attempt at a story, so there will be mistakes.
I expect Rainbow Dash to refuse to join.
Eh, I would too.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/257968/1/one-plus-one-will-always-equal-two-here/the-one-that-wouldnt-equal-two
A very good beginning! This is exactly how Starlight should have dealt with the situation.
This is turning into quite the interesting tale! I'm excited to see how it turns out. Starlight's work is never done, it seems.
This is a great story so far, I like how Starlight tries to maneuver herself to keep the other ponies on her side all the wight going forward with the equalizing presses of the main six and preparing her self to host Shining Armor and the royal guard. I wander how she will manage to subdue and equalize them all.
Starlight's true strength in her psychological warfare. Resulting to treachery is only putting skeletons in her closet that are going to come back to haunt her. And she should know there is nothing to keep Twilight from betraying her.
We all knew that was coming.
I think it's time for things to come crashing down on Starlight
I'm sorry, do you really believe saying rules are rules to the representative of the government of the nation is anything that can work? Shining Armor leaves when Celestia tells him to, and I don't see why he'd be satisfied enough to.
This story is relying on everyone but Starlight being fools
6337659 As of yet, the relation between military and civilian is unknown. However, seeing as how Celestia is more likely to fight or have a few strong ponies fight, I don't believe that the army really has power over a community. Mean while, the mayor is the local extension of Celestia's authority. Rules are rules, and equestria is likely an egalitarian society. Because of these factors, I believe that shining armor will bow to the rules, but I can guarantee he isn't taking it lying down.
6337694 I've seen nothing to suggest Our Town was a legit town, with Starlight Glimmer having any official power. At most she seemed equivalent to the leader of a commune.
And if she is representative of Celestia, then she has not been doing her duties to the nation of Equestria, and as such should be removed