After Sunsets defeat in the human world, Sunset found herself unable to deal with the pain the people were giving her. She decided she had to leave the human world and return home. Upon return she was quickly discovered by Princess Celestia. Sunset was thrown into teaching with the embracing hooves of Twilight sparkle. But when cursed with the dark side of the element of magic how easy will it be to control the empress of flame?
(credit for the picture is done by me just so everyone knows)
Chapters (10)
Nicely done! The grammar needs a little more editing, but you're off to a great start. Looking forward to more Sunset Shimmer.
5908291 thanks and the grammar shall be edited very very soon glad you like it hop,to see more comments from you. :)
The picture caught my eye! It's cool. Also, I suggest you double space between paragraphs and dialogue. That way it will be easier to read. Nice start so far!
5908619 i made the cover and thanks ill do that when i get on a computer
something new, something great and something AWESOME!!!!
KEEP IT UP!!!!
5909624 thanks man
Geez poor sunset needs a hug
5916718 yus poor poor sunset
5916734 dude this inspired me to create my first Equestia Girls story and want to know if you think of it https://www.fimfiction.net/story/262552/top-student-of-chs
Awesome chapter through
5917025 i look forward to it
5917049
Thought I would help you with the mistakes you made
*Luna
*Equestria
*levitated
*smiled
*this
*If
*Sunset
*she
*Miss Pinkie Pie
*Pinkie
*I SHOULD
*Sunset
*castle. Fear and anger
*Wait *Flashy
*Pinkie
*It *as
*Should *groaned
*appeared
*smelled
*snap
*I
*snapped
*I *can't
*I *rubbed
*Sunset
*Sunset,
*She
*Sunset's
*A
*Sunset
*hands
*He
*Twilight *spread his wings
*Luna
*Shimmer
*perked
*Room *Crystal Empire
*there, not while
5949279 appreciated, though not as an excuse those were mostly my sticky keyboards fault typos if you will
Ah crap, thus will not end well
5949626 most definitely not
chapters for this will be increasing in length I wont be able to add the emotion and atmosphere I need if I dont
Highlights (Sorry I didn't do the highlights for the others sooner, I was working on my story to read on. But now I finished my latest chapter, I'll read theother chapters of this great story
):
Empress of fire:
"Oh Sunset, If only she could love you back."
I wuv you- Castok The Shadow (Ran over by Adagio when she heard that)
My name is not DEAMON!"
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww~ my head really hurts~!"
"Five minutes, you were out for five minutes."
That's... Reasonable.
"Who's Empress?"
gamerssphere.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Celene_Valmont_I.png
She is.
"Princess of the night Princess Luna"
Empress I KNOW YOUR HERE!
"Welcome to my nightmare~!"
Princess Twilight Sparkle, we have worse problems then a dream."
5996007 glad you enjoyed that chapter. the others get a little more intense
Please tell me that this isn't the end!
5997338 it is far from it.
5997416 Are you making a sequel to this?
5997483 that is a possibility ;-)
HIGHLIGHTS:
It had been a month after Luna's accident in the dream world. Luna and every other princess was now aware of the danger inside Sunset.
She was hiding something.
But could she?
"If only she could love you" Empress had said to sunset.
Thought you should meet Twi's awesomest friend first.
OH FLASHY IS TWI'S COLTFRIEND FLASH....SENTRY
No you weren't, I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN MY ROOM~!"
I'm becoming the monster you made me.
We cant have her do this there not while Cadence is.......... pregnant."
5968982 There's only one highlight for this:
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLXpt-9mkaHHt3VjfdnET3aLS4P2t7yCZ1&v=v-RE7RUzjf8]
This was amazing.
This I think would fit this quite well:
5996035
amazing. Just amazing and now...
THE SEQUEL!!!
the upcoming sequal is not yet made but will be soon
It is slightly rushed, and there are typos scattered about. But all in all, a good story
6266494 glad you enjoyed it none the less funny you mentioned the rushed part. there is a much longer sequal in the works now that you mentioned it.
Oh my god that was so freaking sad
6416312 I'll take it as you enjoyed the story
6420156 yes
6420593 The sequel came out today go check it out. the story continues :D
This sounds really good.
6421032 I hope you enjoy the whole thing. and I also hope you enjoy it's newly released sequel.
That was very interesting.
i think that is the best part in this story
6512868 lol glad you like that part. I enjoyed writing it
Alternate ending is up and ready to enjoy
That was a good ending. Keep up the good work.
6672641 I guess we can be thankful the story didn't actually end this way cannonly
6672656 Indeed. But at least it's still good.
This sounds like a good sequel hook.
6672742 good for you two know there are two sequels after this :D
Are you going to make a sequel version of this alternate ending?
6673057 hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm good question. how could I do that after killing them both off. I may or may not :D we all know I never give a definite answer
while that happen
6876186 did the chapter confuse or intrigue you ?
that was abrupt I wasn't ready
you're