Just a normal guy living a normal life, and that's all I could ever want
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In Cloudsdale, a white pegasus stallion prepares for a move to Ponyville that will send him on a series of adventures, and misadventures, with new friends. Come along as a mere weather stallion deals with getting caught up in the lives of a D.J., a cellist, a lyrist, and a candy-maker.
This takes place a little bit after the show start up
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5914505 well thanks for that but i don't care if you dislike cause i honestly felt like someone like you would say this but i am planing on making a ship fic that is twidash
5914511 i had help with the editing i hope you saw that
5914518 Alright, I'll look into that later and see if you improved.
5914547 don't worry it will have no hints that life in ponyville is happening
5914518 It's mainly how the chapter titles don't look right that. That really turned me off from reading it. If you just fix those I'll probably read it for what it is.
5914561 well if you have suggestions tell me i may or may not replace the chapter titles
5914522 I tried.... I WAS STUCK ON A TABLET! (No offence Lightning.)
would now be a good time to mention some thing that would help improve?
5914588 sure go ahead
5914594 First of all, they need to be longer; if you can, try to have between 1000 to 1500 words AT LEAST. Second, stop wanting to say "well" and "so" all the time. Third, you need to ad loads of detail; detail gives the story something that helps the reader, I don't know, see it in their head. Fourth, your pacing needs a little bit of work; try to stay off of the time skip and just say stuff like, "After a while they headed-" That might help. Did this help at all?
5914601 thank you i will try to get to work on that though it's to late to change the first three i'll see to it in further chapters
5914615 great!
5914663 thanks for the help i will fix those proplems right away
It's scary, I was going to write something like this involving my OC as he moved from Cloudsdale to Ponyville. It's not the same, but pretty damn close. (did you look at my unpublished stories on my account?)
5914801 well i guess great minds think alike
5914960 indeed.
5915632 this is my first go at a fiction don't worry i will get better
This doesn't make sense, "it was" at least. There are several replacements for this. Since your story appears to be present-tense it should say "Pony-Ville is empty..." and so on. I guess you could put "it" but change "was" with "is". Also "pony-ville" needs to be capitalized, since its the name of a place.
xxI'm not done but I'm busy right nowxx
5916314 I'm not too worried. It was simply a mistake I needed to correct since it went by improperly corrected.
5917324 talking about the house
5918072 yeah i'm working on the fourth chapter right now but i will fix this
Do you have a proofreader?
5920987 I did
5921001 you may want to get another one no offense but most of the top fics have proofreaders
5921012 yeah I know how about you be my new proof reader
5921073 I really wish I could but I'm already behind on my proofreading schedule. Sorry
5921086 okay i'll find another one I get it
5921095 sorry mate
If I manage to catch up I will help
5921102 k let me now if you catch up
5921106 will do
5924712 well if you don't like it then don't read it
5924882 well if you think it's bad then please feel free to block me and my stories
i love this you are a good author sweetie
i'm really liking this story. nicely written and pretty fun to read. keep it up.
5992393 thank you
Awesome
6033238 thanks
6033242 no problem
6033244 I am sorry if this is not what you expected with the closure.
6033257 no it's fine
If i many make a suggestion for the future if you're ending a story on such short notice have some fun with it! Make it end ridiculously or have Raptor Jesus fight the Allahsaurus rex while luna plays gta5.
6033268 sorry but, no, I have my stories even though they are fiction I make them make sense, I just think of having mlp be more down to earth at times.
6033339 He will be back, I am getting my idea journal, and looking through some of the ideas that I had written up, meaning that there is going to be a part two.
6033346 okay.