Ever since the Battle of the Bands, Sunset Shimmer has been writing letters to Princess Twilight Sparkle telling of what she has learned about friendship. One day, Twilight gets a peculiar letter and exciting news: Sunset Shimmer is coming to Equestria! Twilight and her friends already have lots of plans for when she gets here, but Sunset has something very specific she wants to do first: something that is long overdue.
*Cover image drawn by shutterflyeqd*
Edited by: FabulouslyCynical
Chapters (8)
This is how they should bring sunset shimmer back
Lol Pinkie "nailed it"
Whaddup, Joey. I'm bored, so I'm going to leave some notes on your story. Feel free to ignore anything or everything I say; I'm often wrong on points when I do this sort of thing. Also, I'm one of those scumbags who always only looks for the negatives, so don't take any conclusions about the overall quality of your story from my comments.
You can't hear a day.
Technically you mentioned her castle, not her.
You can't do a pastime.
Isn't this redundant? Also, I don't care since it's a pony library and they don't have to use the same system that we use, but usually fiction books are organized by author first, then title.
I think you mean "she had forgotten".
Should be a lowercase y. Confusing, I know.
It's a pretty long quote, so consider a colon or period instead of a comma.
I'd italicize the letter at least.
This is a new sentence, so it needs to be capitalized.
Oh my gosh XD This story just-
Update-
Soon-
Please?
If you're referring to when she did this in Rainbow Rocks, it should be "had fixed".
had never had
Comma splice.
lowercase w. It's confusing. I know.
The word you want here is concur.
You know what I'm gonna say.
Epithets don't usually get capitalized as if they were names, unless they're titles. Also, I don't care whether you use sugarcube or sugar cube, but you should stick to one or the other to be consistent.
Eeyup.
I suggest italicizing the huffs and setting them off with em dashes. Like so: "On behalf—huff—of myself—huff" etc.
One final note: you might get some people complaining about how you've used a lot of "saidisms," which are basically just words other than "said" that mean basically the same thing. I don't care, but it's something nitpickers don't like.
First of all, can you domething about the fic image? The proportions don't seem right. It's too horizontally squeezed.
Second, the first part of the conversation between Pinkie Pie and Twilight felt too much of an infodump on explaining Sunset Shimmer and the portal, and it's worse because those are things both already know.
5899327 to be fair, on the actual show they've done a lot of infodumping
Feels for everypony!
So sweet. I wonder if AJ will try and reverse engineer the process of adding carbonation to cider.
So sweet....
But do you have plans for Celestia to appear?
5901956 maaaaaaybe
Perfect!!!! I love it!!!! Now is one of my favourites!!!!! But... where's Discord?
Fanmlp
5903695 oh he's coming, I've got plans for the master of chaos
5903708
Yay!!!! I just love him, also S.S!!! This story is great. Hope you will upload soon.
5903751 more will be on the way, right now I'm just balancing that and the last few pieces of paperwork for my internship
Don't listen to it, Sunset! You're awesome now!
Damn! Talk about your 'inner demons'......
Be interesting to see how the meeting goes now that Sunset's mind is out of whack thanks to this. While I have a feeling things will end up favorably for Sunset, it's Celestia I'm curious about right now. Will she play the role of stern-disappointed teacher or perhaps the loving-relieved mother? (I know she's not Sunset's mom but her characterizations come off as "motherly" to the ponies).
This story is progressing quite nicely. Kudos to you!
5904673 Dude, you took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn't have said it better myself.
maybe Principal celestia had them sent to a maximum security prison in Germany, sure, it's a little over-the-top, but after practically LETTING her students fight like the did, she'd do ANYTHING to keep her job
Aww, come on, Sunset. If you don't do this, it'll only haunt you for the rest if your life.
5911883 Ain't that the truth.
I really feel as if these chapters could be longer and polished.
Some of the story is jumped and skipped and has gaps that could be filled with more dialogue.
However, I really like this story and can't wait to read more. Now since that Sunset backs out from coming face to face with Celestia, I already know for a fact that Twilight will come after her and re assure her.
poor sunset
5898524 No. It should be an uppercase 'Y'.
Take it back. I was thinking about it being the other way around. Twilight yelled.
Might be better worded that way.
YAY!!!! Discord is, after all, WISE!!!!
I LOVE this story.
Keep calm and Keep writting about Sunset and Discord!!!
Damn you, jerk guards!
Great interactions between Sunset and Discord!
Well, having it long wouldn't have been a bad thing. 3-4k words would've been fine.
yay Discord cheered her up
This is such a great story. And it just keeps getting better!
I am quite a fan of your Discord! I can pretty much hear John de Lancie speaking!
This is quite enjoyable! I hope to see more of this soon!
Awesome story so far.
Your Discord is really cool. He can help a lot.
Keep up the good work
Wow you got Discords personality perfect!
And though he seemed a little too apologetic, we haven't seen him since the season 4 finale, and after that incident it makes perfect sense...only its Discord so it doesnt
Very good work with the interaction between Discord and Sunset. Please keep going, I expect a lot more from this story.
Hehe, no pressure
While in my headcanon Sunset wants to have Twiight as a friend and equal than a mentor the fic ended in a nice note.
One point against the last chapter: its title "Reunited and a New Teacher" is too spoiler-y for a chapter title, in partucilar the latter part. You missed the chance to surprise your readers.
Overall, It was a good read. I wouldn't mind reading more from you, either from this setting (Sunset next few months is going to be in Equestria) or something else.
Sequels are always welcomed, kinda interested on seeing how you would have Sunset succeed in the studies of friendship.
I enjoyed it. I saw very one or two minor grammar errors that were likely just missed during proofreading, and the characters sounded in-character (I could easily here the characters saying their lines). There was one concern I had, and it was the idiom "got your corner" that you used twice. Perhaps it's different where you live, I don't know, but I believe the proper idiom is "in your corner". As in, "You've got us in your corner." It's a minor concern and doesn't take away from the whole at all, but I thought it'd be nice to know. Lastly, I certainly wouldn't mind a sequel.
Really amazing story! Yes do a sequel about the summer break. It would be great to see Sunsets time in Equestria before she goes back to the human world
"The End... For Now", usually means a sequel. Can't wait!
Hey, why is your cover art squished together?
NOOO NOT THE END!
Any chance you could now do a story like episodes of the show but with Sunset and you can show all they things they were gong to do and all that?
Yes please please please do a sequel I absolutely loved this story.
Is Celestia Sunset's surrogate mother in this one?
5899327
@ second point
To me, that style of exposition felt authentically Pinkie. Probably because it happens in the show occasionally.
Overall enjoyable
2015/05/31 Removed suggestions that are no longer relevant
As before, an enjoyable read
2015/05/31 Removed suggestions that no longer apply.
I sorter predicted this when I first saw the last Equestria Girls. I figured on season five of the show they would have a continuous teaching of Twilights new student. But they let me down the opening was there, and the company that made My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic didn't follow up with it.
now back to your story I really loved it, and I shall follow you for it thanks for a great read.
Not a bad story at all. Well done.
Very sweet ending to a sweet fic.
And I can imagine Sunset having a Phoenix for a pet, given her newest kickass solo.
I think you mean just ONE unicorn.
loved the ending:)