Twilight begins to have thoughts of overthrowing the Princess of the Sun. Her original thought is she would never do such a thing to her teacher. But as time moves on, and her sanity deteriorates, the more these thought's seem more real.
Author's Note: I will only continue this story if you all want me to. If it is not a story anyone would like seen continued, I will put it on hiatus for later updates.
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Holy I can't imagine Twilight doing that to Celestia!
And Celestia screaming the name of Twilight remembered me of a scene of Harry Potter when he hears his mother screaming his name when the Dementors are near of him ( Book/Film 3 - Harry Potter and the Prisioner of Azkaban) .
Also that pic!
And I want to see this continue!
Looks great. cant wait for chapter 2
DUM-DUM-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUm
and stuff
Seems promising, I'll probably read it if it doesn't turn too much grimdark. Dark is fine with me, too much is bad though.
Well... Ummm... Tracked?
I think the story shows promise. I'll follow it. I think your characterizations a just a bit off, though. Celestia's is fine so far, but Twilight is far too aggressive. She needs to get to the point of giggling at her dream far more slowly. She should go through a period of feeling awful for even dreaming it. Also, Spike's speech seems... odd. Not quite sure how, though...
585521 Well actually, her smiling at the end is more like a twitch rather than a full out smile. It happens for a split second and then it's gone. I wasn't sure how to fix that into the story but now you know.
OMGISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This pleases ApplePie
585476 grimdark is not my goal in writing this. I just wanted to write a fic where the most devoted follower and the one who is held in highest regard, is led astray by her own insanity, slowly losing that grip on reality.
interesting just hope celestia doesn't actually die
Hmm...will be interesting to see how this plays out. Keep it up and lets see where this leads up to.
Oh, as for the split second smile you mentioned, you could put it in as "made Twilight smile wickedly as the thought spread through her mind before it vanished".
The smile would be gone, but it would allow for the insanity to not seem so...sudden and OOC for Twilight. Madness like this for her I would think would be a more...gradual thing. Little bits here and there as the idea starts to slowly bloom and the tendrils of chaos creep their way into her mind, corrupting and twisting her thoughts...
You have permission to use that btw *looks at the above paragraph*
An interesting idea, if not for the fact that this almost completely contradicts Twilight's personality. I neither approve nor disapprove of a continuation, but if you were to continue, there would need to be at least a chapter or two on the reasons behind the usurping and Twilight's thought process.
Needs more background. I'm stumped at the abrupt change in Twi's character. Hoping for the next chapters to go deeper into Twi's inner battle, as well as provide some insight into the reasons why Celestia lost her loyalty.
Watching this story intently...
''barley covering her body at all'', Other than this there are very few problems, some of the sentences are places uncomfortably but I like where this seems to be going. I can't wait for updates
This is good. Can't wait for chapter 2
585908 Trust me this story is going to be massive in comparison to my other one-shots. I'm going to go deeper into her mind as we go along but that is all I can share at this moment. Just expect to be excited for each new update!
585545
My suggestion then is to call it a twitch. The way it's written, it sounds like more of a prolonged, rising glee at the dream subject.
585908
Agreed. More background is needed.
585979
When I read that line, I thought, "What, did she try to turn her bedroom into a beer brewery yesterday?" Ah, the joys of transposed letters... 
Make more or I'll be all sad.
More more more! This is really good so far! I could never write anything as good as this. Keep it up!
make some more my good sir
and i think this twilight right now
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3ukz5yNCG1r9g2uzo4_400.png
On one hoof (heh) Twilight's insanity in the show was caused by her thinking how she will disappoint the princess, so one could say that her insanity leading her to betray the princess isn't logical, but its insanity so no need for logic
But Celestia trained her, she would know her weaknesses and i dont believe that without the use of the elements she would overpower Celestia.
That would require the other elements to go crazy of course...
Still interesting and good luck if you continue.Like others said still need a background.
This... This wasn't exactly what I was suspecting, hell, I don't know what I was expecting to be honest. Still well written like
Interesting so far, but I'm curious about what would trigger this specific insanity in Twilight.
We need to see more of this
NO, someone does not like it, (pause for dramatic effect) we are doomed to be story-less by him/her!
Awesome, can't wait for more
Promising beginning will love to see Twilight crack and become a tyrant. heehee.
Continue this please! The story is great, but it absolutely cannot be left as a lone chapter. I can't wait to see where this goes
CONTINUE IT. PLEASE. I WISH TO SEE HOW THIS PREDICAMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY TURNS OUT. PERHAPS...YES. THAT I WOULD LIKE FOR IT TO HAPPEN. YES, I SHALL BE WAITING. AS WELL AS WATCHING
The cover image is badass!!!
never read anythign like this before but it picked my interest,
looks good for now. But just me being nitpicky here. You kept labeling the crowd as "People". Last I checked humans didn't exist in Equestria. Not sure if that was intended or a mistake.
very interesting...would like to see how it is followed up...and facehoof with the harry potter reference...no offence to any hp fans...im just not one of them
i47.tinypic.com/nexm3b.gif [img][IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/nexm3b.gif[/IMG]
My vote goes to continue! Seems promising to me.
586463 twilight is the embodiment of magic itself, ergo she is the element of magic, though they need the elements to harness the power of the elements it would be possible that twilight might be capable of going toe to toe with the strongest pony in equestria .
587888 I used the word "people" to signify the crowd. They are of Celestia's people. I could see how this can get confusing but that's the way I see it.
588129 That hp reference is just a coincedence. I like hp, but would never try to cross it over to ponies.
593684 Couldn't have said it better myself.
587919 Haven't heard from you in a while! whats up?!
I really don't mind having the Dragon fall from grace, but my interpretation of Celestia's and Twilight's relationship doesn't strike me that this could EVER occur. Personally, i don't think Twilight would enjoy the power shown in her dream, but to each her own.
This. Is. So. Cute.
Sorry Magic but I couldn't take this seriously one bit. What I mean, it's like reading a baby version if an epic story.
Not saying it's bad, but picture a kid walking around in her daddy's shoes. I suggest reading some epic tales, or finding an editor that understands these types of stories.
And what exactly are you aiming for in this story? If not grimdark, then what?
626520 I'm not taking this story seriously either.
Not saying I'm not trying but I'm not trying to make a huge deal out of it.
Just got bored and made up a project to take up my time.
*shrugs* maybe I'm running out of that good stuff that made my stories decent if at all good.
This story was more targeted towards a kind of story that would make you think.
Of course you don't see much in this first chapter, so I have no clue where to take it.
I guess I'm just running out of good ideas. *sigh*
626615
Meh it's called writers block.
Maybe just stop writing for a while, it's not like you have to write.
Try to just enjoy other people's stories or maybe even help edit others.
But if you really want to write something, I suggest you go back to your old stories, and remake one of the first ones. Your writing skill is a lot better since when you first started and I think it would do some good for you to recreate your classics.
Or just go rewatch season one and two to jump start your love of ponies.
626664 You're right! I may be a little burnt out so all I need is some rest.
I would love to rewatch the seasons but I'm one of those guys where watching an episode more than once, isn't enjoyable for me.
Now about rewriting my erlier stories... How do I do that?
I'm not sure if I should add an epilogue to it or something.
Suggestions?
626688
I mean you should just literally rewrite a while story. Find parts you don't like and rewrite it. Don't change any of the plot but only your writing style. Or if your feeling a bit adventurous, rewrite a story only in 1st person. Try to experiment with your writing skill.
Or if your not up to anymore writing a try all, reread your stories. The fiction a writer writes, tells a lot about the writer himself.
626708 Interesting.
I'll try anything once!
This looks interesting! I look forward to seeing where this goes!
NOOOOooooOOO. It still hasn't updated! NONONOOOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!
hey update plzzz.
Sounds pretty cool. Hope for an Update soon.
seems cool
could you put more up soon?