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  • E When The Field Becomes Fallow

    I love my brother. I know lesser mares would've quit by now. When he boarded that train to the changeling territory, he was still Macintosh. When he came back he was still the same, but... different.
    2,851 words · 7,013 views  ·  767  ·  11
  • T A Pony Walks Into A Bar...

    A Ponyville bartender tends to the booze-related needs of Ponyville seven nights a week.
    23,387 words · 14,584 views  ·  2,003  ·  46
  • T The Twilight Hours

    AJ and Twilight keep meeting in her library in the middle of the night, and RD wants answers!
    26,204 words · 13,468 views  ·  1,388  ·  32
  • E Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Wings (But Were Afraid To Ask)

    Twilight gets schooled in the ins and outs of wing ownership by her pegasi pals.
    4,593 words · 14,924 views  ·  1,653  ·  42
  • E Birthday Wish

    Scootaloo just wants one thing for her birthday; something Rainbow is determined to make happen.
    5,560 words · 7,754 views  ·  1,001  ·  25
  • T As The Songbird Sings

    Not even 40,000 leagues can stop the Songbird's drive to protect. Except, perhaps, the Lutece twins.
    12,365 words · 4,481 views  ·  627  ·  16
  • T At Home on the Range

    After a successful sonic rainboom shatters all of Applejack's windows Rainbow must work off the debt
    40,078 words · 19,379 views  ·  1,449  ·  46
  • T Putting The 'Harm' In Harmony

    Rarity has finally secured a fashion show of her very own in Canterlot! The only problem is, by royal decree, she is assigned a bodyguard. Now, she has to split her suite with a character from Rainbow Dash's past she'd rather forget.
    24,106 words · 3,113 views  ·  352  ·  8

Blog Posts141

  • 5w, 1d
    Watch movie, write ponies.

    0 comments · 145 views
  • 6w, 4d
    Previews of my next updates!

    Why haven't I written anything, you ask? But I have! I updated a story followed by a whopping 73 people!

    *sigh*

    And I have added to some fic updates, such as Mac Unhitched and Regression, and even a little bit of pony bar time!

    But, real life work is taking all my time.

    I'm sorry guys, I really am.

    It seems like I've just got so much going on right now. Like I went from 0-60 in under a few days time.

    I'm not quitting, or anything like that, but, I figure I'd let you know the progress on some of the things I've been working on.

    Hell, I'll even include a preview or two!

    As the Songbird Sings:

    The Monster From the Forest

    "Call for backup immediately! Get the entire division down here, now!" Sargent Shield said, rushing out the door, brandishing his spear as it hung in his magic. Once he rounded the corner of Fluttershy's cottage, he recognized the mare they were looking for.

    "Miss Fluttershy! Get away from that thing!"

    The Songbird stepped forward, causing the earth beneath their hooves to tremble. He balled his fists, revealing the razor sharp blades on his gloves.

    "Mr. Bird, please don't hurt them!" Fluttershy cried

    Sorry songbird fans, That's all you get! (because that's all there is :''(

    Macintosh Unhitched:

    Mac was up before the sun the next day. If the madame wanted this stallion dead, he supposed he had no choice. He had wrestled with the moral dilemma of killing a pony not connected with his mission.

    Ah suppose this is just another stop on the way... he thought, dressing himself in the dingy room given to him by his new employer. A shuffling sound distracted him. A newspaper slid beneath the door with a note tied around it, a last known location of his target. He took the paper, removing the note and stowing it in the pocket of his duster. He tossed the paper on the bed, but took a second glance once he caught the headline.

    ARMY OF THE SUN SWELLS RANKS! POWERS TAKE SIDES! WAR IMMINENT!

    Mac's jaw hung slack as he scanned through the opening paragraphs.

    The kidnapping of a vital part of the equestrian national defense six months ago has finally warranted a swift and just response from the crown. The army of the sun's ranks continue to grow as recruits flock to punish those who would commit crimes against the kingdom.

    The lawless territory newspapers usually had a pro-equestria slant, but Mac couldn't doubt the truth in black and white. He knew at the outset of his mission that it would only be a matter of time before word of Rainbow's disappearance became public knowledge. Once that happened, he knew the Princesses would have to do something.

    He would have never guessed that something was rebuild the Equestrian army. Further down the page, a picture of his wife and son stared back at him. His time was running out. Mac knew an invasion would only complicate things.

    "Another ponies' blood on your hooves."

    Mac cut his eyes to the old victorian chair in the corner. The light from the lantern didn't quite reach, though there was no need for it. He knew who was sitting there.

    "He knew what was coming. I gave him the choice."

    A bright red point of light rose, and then rested on the chairs arm as a cloud of smoke veiled the shadowy figure. "You sure didn't hesitate, did you?"

    Mac hated when he showed up. "You know what happens when you hesitate."

    A scoff echoed from the corner. "Yeah, I do. So, have you thought about what I said?"

    Mac's face twisted into a snarl. "Ah ain't a murderer."

    "You don't think so?" The figure leaned out of the shadows. "You know what murderers do, don't you?" Mac stared back at his dark companion, a reflection of himself. "They kill. You've killed." His dark passenger sat back, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Connect the dots."

    Please don't read in to how a hooved creature could hold a cigarette without fingers. I sure didn't.

    Regression:

    Princeps Autem Solis

    The full moon is due tonight. It is identical to countless nights before, only this time, there is a tension I've not felt in many hundreds of years. Something is wrong. A storm has been brewing on the horizon, and I fear my sister knows of it as well. What's truly worrying, is that she refuses to acknowledge it. The impeding worry covers her like the heaviest cloak, and yet, she pretends everything is fine. She may ignore it, but I believe I know what is coming.

    The blades are coming. Another case has been reported in Manehattan. The EIA has been exceptional at concealing the cases from the general public, but they're mounting. They can't be hidden forever.

    Celestia refuses to renew the covenant. We renewed it once before. Discord, Celestia and myself all gathered in the Hallowed Ground. It cost us dearly. Epona can be a cruel deity. She demands so much from us to keep our children safe, to allow them the same gifts that we have enjoyed.

    I'm afraid my sister's tolerance for the renewal has disappeared. I cannot lay blame upon her. It is truly a dreadful process, to be renewed. For the kingdom, it is good. Wonderous, no doubt. The lethargic are granted energy, the sad are given joy, and the angry are given peace. But for us, there is naught but misery. A torment beyond comparison, beyond the mere words of any language awaits us for every bargain struck with Epona. Our life, the lives of all creatures on this planet flow from her, and through her. It is only through her grace that we live, and it is only fitting, that through her grace, we should recede.

    A Pony Walks Into A Bar...

    Trixie

    Another time, a unicorn in a cape and wizard hat wandered in. She held her head high as she entered, the hat dragging across the doorframe. With a swish of her magic, her clothes hung themselves on the hatrack.

    All I've got. Still thinking of a story for Trixie.

    That's not all of it, but there's a sample of some of what I've been up to. Fans of the various stories, what did you think?

    4 comments · 168 views
  • 14w, 1d
    Your old pal is going away for a bit again...

    23 comments · 282 views
  • ...
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#1 · 126w, 6d ago · 3 · 3 ·

*Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian.*

#2 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594379 that is the last thing i think i would have ever herd you say

#3 · 126w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

Pitch-perfect subversion of usual expectations. :rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

lol. Oh god. That was hilarious

a3V
#5 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

EDIT: Never mind. I think I might have spoiled it in this post, so edit!

Nice work here.

#7 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Well, that was fun. :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

#8 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

please be a dentist

please be a dentist

PRAISE THE LORD AND ALL HIS MIRACLES

#9 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

I totally saw it coming. And that just made it so much better. I would like you to know that you have made my day with your humour, in particular the bit with Big Mac and of course the ending. What a typical RD thing to say. Kudos to you, take this thumb and some moustaches.

5/5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#10 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

I knew this would be a troll fic, but damn you do know how to make awkward conversations.

#11 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

At first I thought it was exactly what you wanted us to think:rainbowwild:

Then I thought it was something else when I realized that was too obvious :facehoof:

Then I hit the ending and my face hit my desk :pinkiegasp:

Regardless it made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

#12 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh, you're good. It sets you up through the whole course of the story. That line at the end, was absolute genious.

#13 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Beautiful.

That was a good execution of a flawless plan.

#14 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

DENTIST :rainbowlaugh: I was going with massages, AH HAHAHA

I can't stop laughing! Damn, you had that going on awhile, heh heh.

But you really had me in doubt at times there, good job at poking the less cleaned parts of our minds!

Edit: It isn't a trollfic if we enjoyed it ;)

#15 · 126w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>594398

I'm really much more of a f/m or m/m guy. Despite writing girl on girl as well as girl on girl on girl smut... yeah.

#16 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594447 well then

also you do write ALOT of porn

#17 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

This Story = FLAWLESS KILL

#19 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Wu...Wut? I don't know what to say. And, dat ending :rainbowlaugh:

#20 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

I hope that Dashie doesn't push Twi to do something rash with somepony that she doesn't really love. It could end up really hurting her.

/reading too much into this

I mean, it's my own fault for writing a story about Twilight's true love leaving her and breaking her heart.

>>594449

Oh, yeah, that I do! :rainbowwild:

#21 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Teeth i knew it i was thinking ok no way twi is going to f a random guy so must be a doctor or dentist :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594473 and there all very well written

#23 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

at first i was like aw anothe clopfic?great :ajbemused:

untill the end  i thought it was a clopfic...

then i read the end and was wtf?:derpyderp1:

then i laughed and fell out of my chair :/

#24 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Kinda torn on this one. I liked it at first, but it definitely dragged on too long for being so predictable. By the end, I was simply skipping through the story to see if it would be a masseuse, chiropractor, doctor, or dentist. It's fine as a one-shot for what it is I suppose, and it would be hard to justify a one shot that was any shorter, but this one just wasn't my cup of tea. :applejackunsure:

#25 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

1.) Knew was not sex.

2.) Thinks-sex-but-not-sex is overused.

3.) 'Dentist' crossed my mind.

4.) Who would be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

5.)...

6.) STILL FUCKING FUNNY.

You win three Internets. All I can spare right now, sorry! :heart:

#26 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·
#28 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

The Everyone rating gave too much away, but I enjoyed it.

#29 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

damn dentist?

i thought he was a Gynecologist.

#30 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Farkin' excellent. Really nicely done.

#31 · 126w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>594379 but twi-luna-Tia is best ship!!! Lesbians are so fun!!! Oh juat FYI I am a straight male, that has a crush on a bisexual female. So I would know lesbians are fun.

Also I was reading this out loud to my sister, and we kept thinking "oh god not clop!! Please no clop!" and I guessed a bunch of random shit. Dentist, sugar junkie, etc.

#32 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

My thumbs, you can have them! After reading this, I don't need them anymore.

#34 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

As soon as the receptionist said his name was Pearly, I knew he was a dentist.  Although, everything before that led me to, you know.  :rainbowlaugh: bucking loved this story

#35 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Next up: a threesome with Colgate :rainbowkiss:

#36 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

So, this was supposedly a subversion of what people were supposed to expect. I knew that, which caused me to somehow turn this into a double-subversion in my mind somewhere. And then I saw the ending line. :rainbowlaugh:

#37 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Nicely done. I got about halfway throu the text before I figured it out. :twilightblush:

#38 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594572

I'm just tired of all of the gay parings, sorry. Give me a Braeburn-x-Pokey or Mac-x-Caramel something like that anyways. :pinkiesad2:

And what's wrong with clop? :pinkiegasp:

#39 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

My first thoughts were that it had something to do with grooming (pretty sure neither the show nor any fics I've read ever mention brushing their coat) and I imagine that a steel brush typically used on horses and such might also take a little getting used to.

Then the imagery went into the gutter...

Then it turned out to be the dentist...and it all made sense.

Figured it would; was just curious on the how.

Good show, my fine fellow, good show.

#40 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594633 nothing I LOVE a good clop, but 1). I was reading it out loud and 2). My grandmother (who does not approve of me [15] and my older sister [18] being into MLP:FiM) could hear ever word, I stoped reading like 6 or 7 times because she started yelling at us about "growing up and making friends" or some shit like that.

#41 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594585 yes now to try and write a Twi-Luna-Tia threeway clop. Well I know where my summer is going :eeyup: and not a second will be wasted.

#42 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Lol, perfect.:pinkiehappy:

#43 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594676 Does your grandmother, perchance, smoke cigarettes?

>>594687 I AM NOT AN AUTHOR

#44 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594699 1). No she does not smoke. And never (as far as I know) has and 2). I ment that I need to write it.

#45 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

I rate this

5 screaming Fluttershy's out of 5!

:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:/:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

#46 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! :rainbowlaugh:

#47 · 126w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

. . . That awkward moment when you know it's about going to the dentist, but you're trying hard to picture it erotically. :pinkiecrazy:

#49 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594459

Oh, dear sweet Celestia yes, a reference to The Knack in a MLP fic (besides my own stuff)?

Love that tune!

*powerpop nerdgasm*

#50 · 126w, 6d ago · · ·

as soon as i saw Pearl and no romance tag i had a hunch it was a dentist

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