1. Published 15th May 2012
  2. 26,360 Views, 687 Comments

Twilight's First Time - mr maximus


Twilight finally decides to take part in something every mare her age should experience.

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#1 · 168w, 13h ago · 3 · 3 ·

*Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian.*

#2 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

>>594379 that is the last thing i think i would have ever herd you say

#3 · 168w, 13h ago · · 1 ·

Pitch-perfect subversion of usual expectations. :rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

lol. Oh god. That was hilarious

a3V
#5 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

EDIT: Never mind. I think I might have spoiled it in this post, so edit!

Nice work here.

#7 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

Well, that was fun. :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

#8 · 168w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

please be a dentist

please be a dentist

PRAISE THE LORD AND ALL HIS MIRACLES

#9 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

I totally saw it coming. And that just made it so much better. I would like you to know that you have made my day with your humour, in particular the bit with Big Mac and of course the ending. What a typical RD thing to say. Kudos to you, take this thumb and some moustaches.

5/5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#10 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

I knew this would be a troll fic, but damn you do know how to make awkward conversations.

#11 · 168w, 13h ago · · ·

At first I thought it was exactly what you wanted us to think:rainbowwild:

Then I thought it was something else when I realized that was too obvious :facehoof:

Then I hit the ending and my face hit my desk :pinkiegasp:

Regardless it made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

#12 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Oh, you're good. It sets you up through the whole course of the story. That line at the end, was absolute genious.

#13 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Beautiful.

That was a good execution of a flawless plan.

#14 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

DENTIST :rainbowlaugh: I was going with massages, AH HAHAHA

I can't stop laughing! Damn, you had that going on awhile, heh heh.

But you really had me in doubt at times there, good job at poking the less cleaned parts of our minds!

Edit: It isn't a trollfic if we enjoyed it ;)

#15 · 168w, 12h ago · 1 · ·

>>594398

I'm really much more of a f/m or m/m guy. Despite writing girl on girl as well as girl on girl on girl smut... yeah.

#16 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

>>594447 well then

also you do write ALOT of porn

#17 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

This Story = FLAWLESS KILL

#19 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Wu...Wut? I don't know what to say. And, dat ending :rainbowlaugh:

#20 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

I hope that Dashie doesn't push Twi to do something rash with somepony that she doesn't really love. It could end up really hurting her.

/reading too much into this

I mean, it's my own fault for writing a story about Twilight's true love leaving her and breaking her heart.

>>594449

Oh, yeah, that I do! :rainbowwild:

#21 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Teeth i knew it i was thinking ok no way twi is going to f a random guy so must be a doctor or dentist :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

>>594473 and there all very well written

#23 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

at first i was like aw anothe clopfic?great :ajbemused:

untill the end  i thought it was a clopfic...

then i read the end and was wtf?:derpyderp1:

then i laughed and fell out of my chair :/

#24 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Kinda torn on this one. I liked it at first, but it definitely dragged on too long for being so predictable. By the end, I was simply skipping through the story to see if it would be a masseuse, chiropractor, doctor, or dentist. It's fine as a one-shot for what it is I suppose, and it would be hard to justify a one shot that was any shorter, but this one just wasn't my cup of tea. :applejackunsure:

#25 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

1.) Knew was not sex.

2.) Thinks-sex-but-not-sex is overused.

3.) 'Dentist' crossed my mind.

4.) Who would be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

5.)...

6.) STILL FUCKING FUNNY.

You win three Internets. All I can spare right now, sorry! :heart:

#28 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

The Everyone rating gave too much away, but I enjoyed it.

#29 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

damn dentist?

i thought he was a Gynecologist.

#30 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Farkin' excellent. Really nicely done.

#31 · 168w, 12h ago · 1 · ·

>>594379 but twi-luna-Tia is best ship!!! Lesbians are so fun!!! Oh juat FYI I am a straight male, that has a crush on a bisexual female. So I would know lesbians are fun.

Also I was reading this out loud to my sister, and we kept thinking "oh god not clop!! Please no clop!" and I guessed a bunch of random shit. Dentist, sugar junkie, etc.

#32 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

My thumbs, you can have them! After reading this, I don't need them anymore.

#34 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

As soon as the receptionist said his name was Pearly, I knew he was a dentist.  Although, everything before that led me to, you know.  :rainbowlaugh: bucking loved this story

#35 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Next up: a threesome with Colgate :rainbowkiss:

#36 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

So, this was supposedly a subversion of what people were supposed to expect. I knew that, which caused me to somehow turn this into a double-subversion in my mind somewhere. And then I saw the ending line. :rainbowlaugh:

#37 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

Nicely done. I got about halfway throu the text before I figured it out. :twilightblush:

#38 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

>>594572

I'm just tired of all of the gay parings, sorry. Give me a Braeburn-x-Pokey or Mac-x-Caramel something like that anyways. :pinkiesad2:

And what's wrong with clop? :pinkiegasp:

#39 · 168w, 12h ago · · ·

My first thoughts were that it had something to do with grooming (pretty sure neither the show nor any fics I've read ever mention brushing their coat) and I imagine that a steel brush typically used on horses and such might also take a little getting used to.

Then the imagery went into the gutter...

Then it turned out to be the dentist...and it all made sense.

Figured it would; was just curious on the how.

Good show, my fine fellow, good show.

#40 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

>>594633 nothing I LOVE a good clop, but 1). I was reading it out loud and 2). My grandmother (who does not approve of me [15] and my older sister [18] being into MLP:FiM) could hear ever word, I stoped reading like 6 or 7 times because she started yelling at us about "growing up and making friends" or some shit like that.

#41 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

>>594585 yes now to try and write a Twi-Luna-Tia threeway clop. Well I know where my summer is going :eeyup: and not a second will be wasted.

#42 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

Lol, perfect.:pinkiehappy:

#43 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

>>594676 Does your grandmother, perchance, smoke cigarettes?

>>594687 I AM NOT AN AUTHOR

#44 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

>>594699 1). No she does not smoke. And never (as far as I know) has and 2). I ment that I need to write it.

#45 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

I rate this

5 screaming Fluttershy's out of 5!

:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:/:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

#46 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! :rainbowlaugh:

#47 · 168w, 11h ago · 1 · ·

. . . That awkward moment when you know it's about going to the dentist, but you're trying hard to picture it erotically. :pinkiecrazy:

#49 · 168w, 11h ago · · ·

>>594459

Oh, dear sweet Celestia yes, a reference to The Knack in a MLP fic (besides my own stuff)?

Love that tune!

*powerpop nerdgasm*

#50 · 168w, 10h ago · · ·

as soon as i saw Pearl and no romance tag i had a hunch it was a dentist

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