1. Published 15th May 2012
  2. 25,738 Views, 686 Comments

Twilight's First Time - mr maximus


Twilight finally decides to take part in something every mare her age should experience.

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#1 · 158w, 44m ago · 3 · 3 ·

*Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian. Please not be lesbian.*

#2 · 158w, 41m ago · · ·

>>594379 that is the last thing i think i would have ever herd you say

#3 · 158w, 41m ago · · 1 ·

Pitch-perfect subversion of usual expectations. :rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 158w, 38m ago · · ·

lol. Oh god. That was hilarious

a3V
#5 · 158w, 38m ago · · ·

EDIT: Never mind. I think I might have spoiled it in this post, so edit!

Nice work here.

#7 · 158w, 36m ago · · ·

Well, that was fun. :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

#8 · 158w, 36m ago · 1 · ·

please be a dentist

please be a dentist

PRAISE THE LORD AND ALL HIS MIRACLES

#9 · 158w, 35m ago · · ·

I totally saw it coming. And that just made it so much better. I would like you to know that you have made my day with your humour, in particular the bit with Big Mac and of course the ending. What a typical RD thing to say. Kudos to you, take this thumb and some moustaches.

5/5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#10 · 158w, 35m ago · · ·

I knew this would be a troll fic, but damn you do know how to make awkward conversations.

#11 · 158w, 35m ago · · ·

At first I thought it was exactly what you wanted us to think:rainbowwild:

Then I thought it was something else when I realized that was too obvious :facehoof:

Then I hit the ending and my face hit my desk :pinkiegasp:

Regardless it made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

#12 · 158w, 34m ago · · ·

Oh, you're good. It sets you up through the whole course of the story. That line at the end, was absolute genious.

#13 · 158w, 32m ago · · ·

Beautiful.

That was a good execution of a flawless plan.

#14 · 158w, 32m ago · · ·

DENTIST :rainbowlaugh: I was going with massages, AH HAHAHA

I can't stop laughing! Damn, you had that going on awhile, heh heh.

But you really had me in doubt at times there, good job at poking the less cleaned parts of our minds!

Edit: It isn't a trollfic if we enjoyed it ;)

#15 · 158w, 29m ago · 1 · ·

>>594398

I'm really much more of a f/m or m/m guy. Despite writing girl on girl as well as girl on girl on girl smut... yeah.

#16 · 158w, 27m ago · · ·

>>594447 well then

also you do write ALOT of porn

#17 · 158w, 26m ago · · ·

This Story = FLAWLESS KILL

#19 · 158w, 24m ago · · ·

Wu...Wut? I don't know what to say. And, dat ending :rainbowlaugh:

#20 · 158w, 21m ago · · ·

I hope that Dashie doesn't push Twi to do something rash with somepony that she doesn't really love. It could end up really hurting her.

/reading too much into this

I mean, it's my own fault for writing a story about Twilight's true love leaving her and breaking her heart.

>>594449

Oh, yeah, that I do! :rainbowwild:

#21 · 158w, 20m ago · · ·

Teeth i knew it i was thinking ok no way twi is going to f a random guy so must be a doctor or dentist :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 158w, 15m ago · · ·

>>594473 and there all very well written

#23 · 158w, 14m ago · · ·

at first i was like aw anothe clopfic?great :ajbemused:

untill the end  i thought it was a clopfic...

then i read the end and was wtf?:derpyderp1:

then i laughed and fell out of my chair :/

#24 · 158w, 13m ago · · ·

Kinda torn on this one. I liked it at first, but it definitely dragged on too long for being so predictable. By the end, I was simply skipping through the story to see if it would be a masseuse, chiropractor, doctor, or dentist. It's fine as a one-shot for what it is I suppose, and it would be hard to justify a one shot that was any shorter, but this one just wasn't my cup of tea. :applejackunsure:

#25 · 158w, 11m ago · · ·

1.) Knew was not sex.

2.) Thinks-sex-but-not-sex is overused.

3.) 'Dentist' crossed my mind.

4.) Who would be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

5.)...

6.) STILL FUCKING FUNNY.

You win three Internets. All I can spare right now, sorry! :heart:

#28 · 158w, 5m ago · · ·

The Everyone rating gave too much away, but I enjoyed it.

#29 · 158w, 4m ago · · ·

damn dentist?

i thought he was a Gynecologist.

#30 · 158w, 3m ago · · ·

Farkin' excellent. Really nicely done.

#31 · 158w, 44s ago · 1 · ·

>>594379 but twi-luna-Tia is best ship!!! Lesbians are so fun!!! Oh juat FYI I am a straight male, that has a crush on a bisexual female. So I would know lesbians are fun.

Also I was reading this out loud to my sister, and we kept thinking "oh god not clop!! Please no clop!" and I guessed a bunch of random shit. Dentist, sugar junkie, etc.

#32 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

My thumbs, you can have them! After reading this, I don't need them anymore.

#34 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

As soon as the receptionist said his name was Pearly, I knew he was a dentist.  Although, everything before that led me to, you know.  :rainbowlaugh: bucking loved this story

#35 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

Next up: a threesome with Colgate :rainbowkiss:

#36 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

So, this was supposedly a subversion of what people were supposed to expect. I knew that, which caused me to somehow turn this into a double-subversion in my mind somewhere. And then I saw the ending line. :rainbowlaugh:

#37 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

Nicely done. I got about halfway throu the text before I figured it out. :twilightblush:

#38 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594572

I'm just tired of all of the gay parings, sorry. Give me a Braeburn-x-Pokey or Mac-x-Caramel something like that anyways. :pinkiesad2:

And what's wrong with clop? :pinkiegasp:

#39 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

My first thoughts were that it had something to do with grooming (pretty sure neither the show nor any fics I've read ever mention brushing their coat) and I imagine that a steel brush typically used on horses and such might also take a little getting used to.

Then the imagery went into the gutter...

Then it turned out to be the dentist...and it all made sense.

Figured it would; was just curious on the how.

Good show, my fine fellow, good show.

#40 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594633 nothing I LOVE a good clop, but 1). I was reading it out loud and 2). My grandmother (who does not approve of me [15] and my older sister [18] being into MLP:FiM) could hear ever word, I stoped reading like 6 or 7 times because she started yelling at us about "growing up and making friends" or some shit like that.

#41 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594585 yes now to try and write a Twi-Luna-Tia threeway clop. Well I know where my summer is going :eeyup: and not a second will be wasted.

#42 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

Lol, perfect.:pinkiehappy:

#43 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594676 Does your grandmother, perchance, smoke cigarettes?

>>594687 I AM NOT AN AUTHOR

#44 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594699 1). No she does not smoke. And never (as far as I know) has and 2). I ment that I need to write it.

#45 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

I rate this

5 screaming Fluttershy's out of 5!

:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:/:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

#46 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! :rainbowlaugh:

#47 · 157w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

. . . That awkward moment when you know it's about going to the dentist, but you're trying hard to picture it erotically. :pinkiecrazy:

#49 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

>>594459

Oh, dear sweet Celestia yes, a reference to The Knack in a MLP fic (besides my own stuff)?

Love that tune!

*powerpop nerdgasm*

#50 · 157w, 6d ago · · ·

as soon as i saw Pearl and no romance tag i had a hunch it was a dentist

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