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Wanderer D

Joined July 2011
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APRIL FOOLS CHAPTER 2013

Edited by: Invisible People

"I am your father, Sweetie, and I will train you in the Art of War," Esteem explained as he walked down the halls of the Castle, with Sweetie following dutifully after him.

"Your training will begin immediately, there's not a moment to waste before—" he stopped abruptly, eyes widening at the presence of a large, imposing male alicorn. "Lord Titan!" he bowed immediately.

Titan looked down at Sweetie Belle, who gulped. "You do not belong here," he stated, levitating the filly in an impossibly strong telekinetic grip. Reality seemed to bend and a hole in space and time was ripped open. "Away with you."

He threw Sweetie into the dimensional hole, which closed immediately after her. Then he glared at Esteem. "General, make sure to follow my last commands. I must go back to the Everfree Forest."

"Y-yes your majesty!" Esteem stammered, not daring to raise his head until Titan was gone. He waited for a bit and gulped. It was then that, in the opposite side of the portal Titan had created and tossed Sweetie into, another opened, and the filly rolled out, stopping at Esteem's hooves.

"Um, hi," Sweetie waved. "I seem to be back."

Esteem blinked. "Wait... what happened?!"

Sweetie sighed. "Well... I'll have to be fast, before Titan returns and throws me into another dimensional hole and I have to do it all over again... it went like this..."

o.0.o

The world came back into view, and Sweetie Bell found herself surrounded by cardboard. She blinked and looked up, propping herself on the edge of the box she was in and looking at the desolated and blighted streets. “Where the hay am I?”

Something made a choking sound behind her and she whipped around, horn alight, ready to cast a spell. And she looked up at the gangly, depressed-looking human with facial hair that started under his chin all the way down to his neck that had walked up to her. “Uh... can I help you?”

The human just stared for a moment, his mouth opening and closing silently while a bit of drool slid down his chin. “Uh... Poneh... I adopt!”

"Wait, what?!" Sweetie shouted as the human leaned in and picked her up. "Nononononononononono! Bad human! Bad!" she shouted.

"I feed pone!" The human muttered happily, slinging her under one arm as he ambled past the abandoned streets. "I love pone! We family now!"

"Uh..." Sweetie ventured, unable to scurry free and too close to use her magic offensively. "How about you set me free? You know, run around, chase butterflies?"

"Nuh uh, must make sure you safe furst!"

Sweetie blinked. "Safe from what?"

The human paused, looked around and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, "other humahns."

"Ohhh." Sweetie said, nodding slowly, she sensed something as the human kicked what was presumably the door to his house repeatedly until it opened. "Say, you wouldn't have seen a purple crystal around here, would you?"

"Uh, huh!" The human said happily, placing her on a chair and pouring something called "Cheerios" out of a box onto a plate in front of her. He then skipped into another room and proceeded to throw boxes out of it. He eventually came out with what was indubitably one of Twilight's Fragments.

It had a bowtie.

"Dis is mistah crystal! Ah found it in anotha box on th' way home!" The human said happily, placing the fragment in front of Sweetie. "U can play wit it if u wanna! Buht be careful!"

"Uh... sure," Sweetie said. "Do ponies and stuff always end in boxes around here?"

"Uh,huh," the human said, nodding happily.

"This has to be the saddest universe I have ever been to," Sweetie muttered, then her eyes brightened and she pointed at the window. "Hey! Is that the sun?!"

"Where!?" the human asked, turning around and glaring straight into it. "Aaah! Blind human is blind!"

Nonplussed, Sweetie nevertheless managed to sweep the crystal in her magic and, barely managing to hear the relieved cry from Twilight's essence, faded out of that universe.

Author's Note:

I removed the excess words... it was only worth it to make the illusion that this was an actual chapter. The links are still valid, so you can follow them around like on the original AF posting. For the record, it was a grand total of 35,742 extra words. All repeated.

Comments ( 244 )

#1 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

y u do dis? :fluttercry:

#2 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Magnificent.

#3 · 74w, 14h ago · 9 · ·

First reaction:  Awesome!  A new chapter of The Sweetie Chronicles!  Must read now despite having an essay due tomorrow!

Reaction after seeing chapter length:  Sweet Luna. I...I should probably wait.

#4 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Your best yet.

#5 · 74w, 14h ago · 10 · ·

Best chapter ever, it made me cry.

#6 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

>>2353746 Yeah, give it a quick once over, see what you notice.

#7 · 74w, 14h ago · 2 · ·

I hadn't actually read The Immortal Game before, so I plowed through it fast in preparation for this. After reading it, though... :unsuresweetie:

I don't know if I can handle this....

[Edit] ...Aaand boy I should have seen that coming.

[Edit Redux] Alright, I'll admit, the only reason I commented was to see that sweet sweet gold next to my name. Worth every penny.

#8 · 74w, 14h ago · 1 · ·

*Applauds* :rainbowlaugh:

#9 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

You know, learning from last year, I expected something like this when I clicked on it. Major props for making it 39k words.

#10 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Aha! Very good. A brilliant stroke that played upon my perception (or mis-perception) of time. Bravo, and I cannot wait for the next part.

#11 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

*MIND BLOWN* Thirynine thousand words *starts rocking back and forth, reciting madness mantra*

#12 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

>>2353760

Ah, that makes my life so much better.  I'm glad you let me know!  It was totally worth reading!

#13 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Wow I didn't even think that you would do this a second time. You really did make me believe that I was going to have to sit through hundreds of thousands of words.

#15 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

oh phew, I haven't finished the fic this chapter will be based in yet, it's rather large.

#16 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Awesome work, this story encouraged me to read Fo:E Pink Eyes and the others connected to it! I got kinda bored so I held down the scroll button with all of those black lines and I started to some funny things, this may sound odd but I could see that requiring some kind of epilepsy warning. Also, I don't want to sound stupid but what is FimFiction Gold?

#17 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

Gaaah!  I haven't gotten around to reading The Immortal Game yet! :fluttercry:

Oh well, it'll be here when I do :derpytongue2:

#18 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

I thought this might be... I think it is...  but it's been done so well that I'm not 100% sure.

#19 · 74w, 14h ago · 2 · ·

Boy lemme tell ya

I sure do love Cheerios

#20 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

>>2353842  Erf, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep reading this.  I really didn't like the Immmortal Game.  Way too much over-reach, too many god characters.  I really hate stories with lots of gods with ever more powers.  It gets to the point where they could just blow up the world and be done with it, ya know?

Fiction-wise, gods tend to make the worst primary subject matter and main characters, unless they're played down so much they're not really gods anymore.

#21 · 74w, 14h ago · · ·

I knew you were going to do this I knew it.

#22 · 74w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

Good God, you nearly gave me a heart attack.

#23 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

*spits out soda* gold member? I hope this is explained soon in a blog post :O

also that was a ton of fun, hope others replicate this type of deal in the future.

#24 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Before you ask--yes, they all say the same thing.

#25 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Epic. I was freaking out there for a minute.

#26 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

>>2353880

Rather than "downplaying it until they're not gods any more," I'd say the key is to challenge them in a way that their godly powers don't have an immediate answer for.  Challenging them with equal power works too, but often isn't very sustainable (no one wants to read 300,000 words of ponies throwing continents at each other.)  I believe that anything can be done well, though, and I'll certainly give The Immortal Game a chance :twilightsmile:

#27 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

man

I read the whole thing.

deep man.

#28 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Hhhwuuuuhhhhh...

WHAT IS THIS FIMFICTION GOLD.:twilightoops:

Edit: What.

meh
#29 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

i was soooo excited also

#30 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

I didn't think about it until I realized it must be April 1st for you already. Judging by the last time you did this, the real chapter will be out soon. If you really intend to do 8 parts, I suspect the chapter will not be 39k words long; however, there is little data to go on.

Your faithful reader,

Knowledge

#32 · 74w, 13h ago · 3 · ·

FUCK YOU I'M GOING IN CIRCLES

#33 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Wow. I didn't even see how many words this was. Also, this is still a better story than Twilight.

Also, nice troll there man. love how this got you on the feature page again.

#34 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Grr.

Also, The Imortal Game was a good fiction, taking the 'gods' more as forces of nature, faced with ingenuity and not raw power.  (except when raw power is in fact mentioned.). It takes each of the Mane 6 and uses their 'Strengths' in a unique way... and Twilight's mass cannon spell was priceless.

As Rarity and her father are two of the most important and yet least magically potent characters in the story, seeing Sweetie Bell's take on this war will be Facinating.

As for your April 1st joke.

Ha.  Ha.

#35 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Awww... It loops.

#36 · 74w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

Reaction upon seeing word count: O.O

Reaction upon seeing "Part one of eight": O.O

Reaction upon actually reading: o.O

Reaction upon looking at clock and seeing it's 11:48 PM: >.<

=======Post with Ponies=======

Reaction upon seeing word count: :pinkiegasp: -> :pinkiehappy:

Reaction upon seeing "Part one of eight": :pinkiegasp: -> :pinkiecrazy:

Reaction upon actually reading: :derpyderp2: -> :rainbowhuh:

Reaction upon looking at clock at seeing it's 11:48 PM: :rainbowderp: -> :facehoof:

#37 · 74w, 13h ago · 5 · ·

GODAMMIT

YOU RUINED MY PLANNED PROCRASTINATION

#38 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Wait. Part 1 of 8? Should I read the other story so I will understand this?

#39 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Oh no, Sweetie's stuck in a loop! :raritydespair:

#40 · 74w, 13h ago · 3 · ·

>>2353949

Having the 'power' but not the knowledge can also work. :twilightsmile: Having nigh unlimited power is all well and good, but if all you know how to do is give Spike a mustache, it's not exactly much of a boon. :moustache:

#41 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

And then Sweetie had to run a full loop for every single timeline she created during her BNE loops.

#42 · 74w, 13h ago · 3 · ·

The Immortal Game: Part 1 of 8

Part 1 of 8

1 of 8

Oh god yes.

EDIT: Oh, shit, have the April Fools jokes started already?

#43 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

what?

#44 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Okay, okay, wacky stuff.

Seriously though, Immortal Game isn't really going to be 8 parts long, is it? :raritydespair:

#45 · 74w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

39,000 words... and here I was all geared up to stay up all night reading this chapter. You magnificent bastard! :trollestia:

#46 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Aww it is so short. :fluttercry: I knew it was not going to be as long as it said for a joke chapter, but I wish it had some more nonsense going on. Anyway Happy April Fools day! :twilightsmile:

#47 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Part 1 of 8? :pinkiegasp:

#48 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Kyon-kun denwa.

This is a new level of hell.

Edit: Why am I golden?

#49 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

Troll post is trolol well played its even better than last years

#50 · 74w, 13h ago · · ·

That was amazing.

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