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Fattymagee1 1191451

Joined February 2012
401 followers

    Fattymagee1's Stories (11)


    When the Cutie Mark Crusaders ruin Applejack's stetson hat, Big Macintosh offers to take it to Rarity's boutique in order to get it repaired. But was that the only reason he's going there?

    Special thanks to Scootareader for editing and cleaning this story up in general.

    First Published
    13th May 2012
    Last Modified
    8th Mar 2013

    Comments ( 117 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    spike will be mad :pinkiegasp:

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Awesome! Can't wait for more :twilightsmile:

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Faved

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Mac, you sneaking sneak.

    :duck::eeyup:

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Good story. It could use a little more imagery and detail here and there, but that's not a huge issue. The major concern I found with it was that the dialogue seemed just a little bit unnatural and kind of forced. Just trying to help here!

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I like it! Good short story!

    And as someone said before spiie will be mad!:twilightsmile:

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Ha Ha I like everyone thinks spike will be mad, I wasn't originally but now I think I may eventually incorporate spike being jealous into the story in future chapters.

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Ah Rarity+Big Macintosh one of the rarest ships ever created. :duck::eeyup:

    This is good for a start and definitely better than the numerous Fluttershy+Big Macintosh ship fics. :ajsmug:

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Go for it, Big Mac. :eeyup:

    #10 · Chapter 2 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I'm really looking forward to see how this turns out

    #11 · Chapter 2 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    :eeyup:

    #12 · Chapter 2 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Good Job, looking forward to the next chapter :eeyup:

    #13 · Chapter 2 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>585539 Please do, it would be pretty funny to see how much spike approves

    #14 · Chapter 3 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    cant wait to see where this goes

    #15 · Chapter 2 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Glad to see Pinkie Pie offer some sound advice. :pinkiesmile:

    P.S.: I have a feeling Spike is going to be so jealous of Big Mac. :twilightblush:

    #16 · Chapter 3 · 53w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Ah the scene with Sweetie Belle and Big Mac was adorable and everything after it as well. This is great. :heart:

    Also to quote Sokka from Avatar The Last Airbender "Smoochie smoochie someone's in LOVE"

    #17 · Chapter 3 · 53w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Aw snap! :eeyup: :moustache:

    #18 · Chapter 3 · 53w, 21h ago · · ·
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    Hmmm. Not too bad so far, let us see what happens..............:eeyup::duck:

    #19 · Chapter 1 · 53w, 12h ago · · ·
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    This is great! I can really picture the scenes! Not too much details but enough to set the stage! Keep up the great work! :derpytongue2:

    #20 · Chapter 3 · 53w, 12h ago · · ·
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    Huh... Now that I think about it. I don't think I've ever seen a "Pinkie Pie and Big Macintosh" shipping story! :derpytongue2:

    And there's one part in the story that looked a bit off " She really hard started to take a liking to the big red stallion."

    The story's great can't wait for the next chapter!

    #21 · Chapter 3 · 52w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I'm putting this story on the wayside to work on my two other fics, The Secrets of Twilight Sparkle's Past Future, and Trixie: The Fall and Redemption. Don't worry though, I will finish this eventually.

    #22 · Chapter 3 · 52w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Damn, was hoping to finish this on first, as it is the one I started reading first!

    Oh well, guess I'll have to wait.

    #23 · Chapter 3 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I believe it was rainbow dash who was the first to get her cutie mark...:rainbowderp:

    #24 · Chapter 2 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I found some errors in the first and second chapter, also this seems really....rushed I guess....I don't know,I like it don't get me wrong but the word for a little female pony is filly while the one for adult is mare, also adult male is colt...not sure about the young male one though.

    #25 · Chapter 3 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>793409 Actually, adult male is Stallion. Male youth is colt. This was my very first fic, and I was pretty inexperienced when writing this. Thanks for pointing that out though, I'll change that right up.

    #26 · Chapter 3 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>610908 Found a view errors in this chapter as well, also...I did not like how Big Mac just asked her out and she agreed without even really thinking about it, I'll give it a chance becuase I find this pariing well thought of, but you need to slow it down, also, try to explain her feelings for him and please try not to bring Spike into this, it's bad enough that there are so many Spike/Rarity pairings (but that's my own view on how much I despise the pairing) hoping to see more, will be tracking. Also ,please tell me that there is Spike/Twilight romance in The Secrets of Twilight Sparkle's Past Future.

    By the way...caplize the F in your pen name.

    #27 · Chapter 3 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Umm in the original The Secrets of.... it turns into some crappy Twidash romance. If you've read my comments on the story, you'll know I kind of screwed up my feature box fic. It was just way too rushed and bad. I am actually rewriting it with some editor help, and I'll have the first chapter of the new story up quite soon. It's going to turn out different from the original, so who knows I might make it Twi/spike. I don't know yet.

    I also see that you seem to enjoy romance fics. Have you heard of Jenova2? He's had some feature fics on the site. He also recently did something pretty stupid where he stole someone's fic in an attempt to give it more publicity or something. Anyways, he happens to be my older brother and he recently came home from college. I've been working with him on a new fic, a romance, called "Fashions fade, Style is Eternal," basically a 2nd person fic between you and Rarity. He submitted it earlier today, so yeah when it comes up you might want to take a look at it.

    Lol is it really that important if I capitalize the f in my pen name? I kinda like it uncapitalized because it just adds to the stupidity of my pen name, which I enjoy. If it hurts my publicity a little? So what. I've already got a feature box fic under my belt. That's all I can ask.

    Anyways, thanks for the nice comment. I'll try to fix those errors and I'll take into account what you said I should do when I continue this. I'll try not to disappoint you :twilightsmile:

    #28 · Chapter 3 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>793449 K fine I actually change my mind, I'll capitalize it :twilightsheepish:

    #29 · Chapter 3 · 47w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>793745 Thanks, Magee :pinkiehappy: I'm honestly hoping for The Secrets of Twilight Sparkle's Past Future to be Twilight/Spike, I mean while I don't mind Twidash, there are a LOT of them...and I do mean a LOT.....it's honestly getting sort of old. I'm hoping that you do re-write it, for while I was reading some of it, I though it was really rushed a sort of did not make sense, no offense to you...I really enjoy your story and hear that your a really good writer. I have heard of him and yes I heard how he done soemthing such as that...I don't know, I mean I like Rarity (long as she has no romance with Spike) but I don't like, I think it's second person view or something, it's sort of werid and odd to me, no offense to the writer though.

    Yes, it is.....it shows that you are professional, not just by your writing skills but by how you present yourself, if you have not noticed by now, I'm very professional in all of my writing, even when I'm writing to friends, family and author or pony friends that's because it's engraved into my system and I need to prove to others that I can act....I guess wise?

    Never a problem, I got your back (though I'm pretty sure you don't need it, with your skills) and I'm hoping to see more of this story, I really enjoyed it. :rainbowlaugh: I thank you for saying such but I not that important, just try not to disappoint your fans and pony friends (which I hope includes myself :pinkiesmile:)

    I'm glad, keep on fighting in the writing war!!!

    #30 · Chapter 3 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Well... THAT was one major run-on sentence!

    #31 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Those Diamond Dogs picked the wrong pony to ponynap, once Big Macintosh gets through with them they won't know what hit em! :rainbowlaugh:

    #32 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Glad to see you’re back I had almost given up hope. Keep up the good work.

    #33 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1321551 Haha I was never gone, I was just doing other stuff here (with a lot success actually). However, I recently felt like I needed to finish what I started with this fic :pinkiesmile:.

    #34 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I read the description and giggled a lot, then said "Oh my god" to myself.

    This could totally be a real episode.

    Going on my read later list. I need to see how this works out.

    :pinkiehappy:

    #35 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Let's see they have harmed his crush, checked; messed up her shop and possibly AJ's hat, check; interrupted his date, check; ok then let me search for some epic fighting music... hmm... do you want modern or orchestral?

    So far an pretty interesting story, interesting twist on have Big Mac being the one to be forward instead of Rarity, then again most of the RariMac fics I've seen tend to follow her instead of Mac.

    #36 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1322192 So I take the uniqueness of it following Big Mac is a good thing?

    Thanks!

    #37 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1322206

    In the fanfiction world, oh hell yeah. Now if you will excuse me I must go find the epic fighting music

    #38 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1322261 Please do, you'll probably need it for the next chapter :yay:

    #39 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    See what you get for badgering the author long enough!!! A story taken out of hiatus and being

    written again!!!!!

    >>1322269 This. Was. Awesome!!!! Hope they're prepared for a Big Mac beat down!!!

    That's definitely going to make rarity swoon!!!

    #40 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #41 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1322881 Yup, I've come to come to realize that this probably actually is my best story overall (the thumbs up/down ratio definitely seems to point towards that), thus I shouldn't neglect it.

    I'm glad you enjoyed this next chapter so much, everyone can pretty much thank you for it and all the chapters to come. :twilightsmile:

    Did the fourth chapter even seem like the same story written by the same author? I've grown so much as a writer since May, and I'm assuming it was better since nobody's down-voted it, but idk. Any advice is always appreciated. :yay:

    Haha, the Mortal Kombat theme does seem like a good choice for the next chapter :rainbowkiss:.

    #42 · Chapter 4 · 34w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1327515 Well, all that the like/dislike is showing is that someone on here is a bucking moron!!

    Yeah, the new chapter is good, and even though it has more words, it just kind of felt shorter. I will have to re-read

    the earlier chapters to see if there is a noticeable difference at all, of course you could rewrite them in your more up

    to date style, but then you'd be taking advice from someone who got an E in GCSE English....twice!!! And I'm from the

    damn place where it originates!!!! So yeah ignore this bit as I obviously don't know what I'm talking about!!!

    And for the music, that was all I could think of at the time, but now I have these:

    Or for a slow time battle, (well pretty much anything by these guys, their music is just so epic)

    #43 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 3d ago · · ·
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    The good old CMC...

    :applecry: Look what ya'll did to mah sister's hat!

    :scootangel: I didn't do anything, it was you and Sweetie Belle!

    :unsuresweetie: No, it was you and Scootaloo.

    They made those emoticons specifically for this story.

    #44 · Chapter 4 · 33w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1364689 So the story's good in your opinion?

    #46 · Chapter 4 · 33w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1365585 Oh no! Not an incredibly attractive Applejack whipping me to keep on me on track! Anything but that! :ajsmug:

    And obviously don't wanna mess with a crazy Twilight either.

    I was actually going to work on the next chapter during the server switch. Hopefully I'll have it up by tonight!

    You really like this story, don't you? Was it painful for you when I decided to put this on hiatus all the way back in May?

    #47 · Chapter 4 · 33w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1365612 Oh yeah!!! I have been keeping an eye on it since then,

    (everypony's favourite stalker!!!) in the hopes it would get an update!!!

    #48 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1364705 Oh, what the hell? The damn site didn't notify me that you replied to my comment! Yeah, it seems pretty good so far (Not like I've read anything beyond the first chapter). I like how it's all turning out though. It's a good way for Macintosh to end up going to Rarity's boutique. Damn those Crusaders; they're always making someponies hook up.:rainbowlaugh:

    #49 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373221 I know, right? Haha I'm featured right now and you're not lol.

    #50 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    What's this I see as I wake up?

    A new chapter? Awesome!!!

    Oh Big Mac, whoever thought you could take so little to be knocked out......

    Oh well, time to bring bucking Armageddon to the Diamond Dogs!!!!!!!!

    #51 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373277 It's featured right now lol. By the way, your picture didn't work. :applejackunsure:

    And what do you mean so little? He basically galloped headfirst into a rock wall. :rainbowlaugh:

    Did you like this chapter?

    #52 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh. My. God. I just finished reading a story I was into, only to find out that this AND another story I'm loving have both been updated?

    So much for my sleep plans. I'll edit this comment after reading, but I already know it's gonna be fantastic.

    EDIT: Yup, I knew it! Amazing chapter, though a bit short for my taste (or maybe I just read too fast. Who knows?). Also, am I the only one expecting Big Mac to just kick that damn door down and take out the Diamond Dogs? I mean, it's just a wooden door, and given the urgency of the situation, I bet he could do it.

    #53 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373285 Should be working now. Well, even though that's gotta hurt,

    it still seems like not enough! I head-butted the nose of one of the planes

    yesterday and just shrugged it off!!!

    #54 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373319 Is that really enough to ruin the whole chapter? :fluttershysad:

    This was meant to be a kind of a transition chapter too. It 's really supposed to set the stage for the shit and hilarity that's gonna go down in the next chapter.

    #55 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373332I didn't say it ruined it......:twilightblush::fluttershysad:

    That's what happens when we rush, we get hurt. Still, those dogs are bucked!!!

    #56 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373344 Yeah, this chapter was a little rushed... but hey. The entire story is kinda rushed, and I tried to keep the original style. Judging by the thumbs up/down ratio, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that doesn't bother people too much. :raritywink:

    Next chapter will be longer (and a little less rushed) though, I promise. I'll likely have it up by the end up the week as well (if I can stay on task:twilightsheepish:). :twilightsmile:

    #57 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373360 And I've just realised after dropping all those "subtle hints"

    for you to continue this story, there's still one thing I haven't done...

    Aaaaand fav'd!!!!!!

    #58 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Really like you're attention to characters' history as well as truly grasping personalities. Can't wait to see this finished!:twilightsmile:

    #59 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373372 Wait, you never favorited it? How did you know if I updated it! The feature-box? :rainbowhuh:

    Well, thanks for the favorite anyway!

    It makes sense since you seem to like this story more than anyone else (you stalked me so I would continue it... :rainbowlaugh:)

    #60 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Really like you're attention to characters' history as well as truly grasping personalities. Can't wait to see this finished!:twilightsmile:

    #61 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373377 Ctl + D, create a bookmark!!!!

    #62 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    #63 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373380 So you went a step above favoriting and bookmarked back in May?

    I'm truly honored sir.

    #64 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373402 Yep. There are quite a few I have my eye on that haven't updated for a while,

    which is a shame, because some of them are pretty good.

    Oh well, time to go to work!!!

    #65 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373409 And for the past five months this was one of those stories? :fluttershysad: I'm sorry.

    And have fun doing airplane stuff. Thanks again for your services! :moustache:

    #66 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Yeah... So-n-so was right. The dialogue does seem really forced, unnatural, and rushed. That's about the only complaint I have.

    #67 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1373670 The first three chapters of this were actually written all the way back in February, when I wasn't very experienced. It's not forced enough to make the story bad though right? It's still readable enough to enjoy?

    Thanks for the nice comment. I hope you enjoy the rest should you choose to read it! :twilightsmile:

    #68 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Hmmm epic battle or a great escape... decisions decisions

    #69 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    OH COME ON! :unsuresweetie: You're stronger than that Big Macintosh, those diamond dogs should have been no match for you, oh well just make sure to give them a good bucking before you leave. :eeyup:

    #70 · Chapter 5 · 33w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh my...:eeyup:

    #71 · Chapter 5 · 32w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1373360 I've just realised what I put!!! :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp:

    I wasn't talking about the chapter!!!:fluttercry::fluttercry:

    I meant Big Mac charging off without a thought for his safety!!!

    But I can see why he did it!!

    And before you ask, I like to pop in every now and then, read the

    comments and see what others think of the stories I read!! :twilightblush::twilightblush:

    #72 · Chapter 5 · 32w, 3h ago · · ·
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    interesting chapter and story so far.:yay:

    #73 · Chapter 5 · 31w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1417994 I don't know why, but that song and video together just made absolute perfect sense.

    Plus it mixed one of my favourite shows with one of my favourite game songs!!!

    #75 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I can't wait to see you continue. Also, I learned the Diamond Dogs names:

    The big one is Fido

    The leader is Rover

    The small one is Spot

    #76 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 20h ago · · ·
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    This is so cute :3  

    >> Lucky424 Oh no! Not an incredibly attractive Applejack whipping me

    Lol i knew it. I knew you were gay.  Give it up, fat man

    (lol didn't read)

    #77 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>1535587 Yes, I am clearly gay. I just like playing along with Lucky424's... weirdness. Bitch, thumbs up my story anyway.

    #78 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535597 kewl i'll thumb it up even though rarity is a stuck up bitch and big macintosh is a retard hick (just like you).

    Here are some links to websites for Bible Camps:

    Bible Camp 1

    Bible Camp 2

    Bible Camp 3

    gay away

    #79 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535655 lol. You're great. :heart:

    #80 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535660 haha ikr?

    You're pretty kewl too :heart:

    Also, try the link to the Helen Keller story again.  I may have forgotten to publish the 400-something word first draft i had before.

    Dumb blonde. forgive me

    #81 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535671 You are a dumb blond... so yeah it is to be expected. Still going to give the profit to daddy though honey-bun.

    #82 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535675 yes daddy of course daddy

    60% like we agreed

    #83 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535683 How about you just give it all to me and suck it like a good little girl? :twilightsmile:

    #84 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535695 .....

    yes daddy anything you want daddy

    Just read the goddamn helen keller story

    #85 · Chapter 5 · 29w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>1535711 I am lol.

    #86 · Chapter 5 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·
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    all according to keikaku :trixieshiftleft:

    #87 · Chapter 5 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·
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    #88 · Chapter 5 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1716644 Its japanese for "plan"

    I picked it up from two best friends play

    #89 · Chapter 5 · 24w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1716659 Ah. I'm still a little confused as to why you're posting that here though lol. :rainbowlaugh:

    #90 · Chapter 5 · 19w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>1535587 You used :3.....

    WTF you're the one who's gay now.

    #91 · Chapter 5 · 19w, 8h ago · · ·
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    >>1930389 i thought we'd been over it,, i'm flaming fabulously gay

    you mean on Skype? well fuck that was my shortcut way of saying you're gay because i didn't feel like typing it out

    besides i'm not the one making videos of myself sliding down the stairs in a fucking sleeping bag

    :3

    :3

    :3

    #92 · Chapter 5 · 16w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I don't understand why you still haven't finished this story! I downloaded all your chapters ages ago, and I came back to get the rest a few months later and only one more chapter has come out. :fluttercry:

    You have a fantastic writing style. For the first time in a long while, I feel like my editing skills aren't necessary. In addition, you have a great way of keeping your readers hooked. I am very much looking forward to your next chapter... but it has to come out in the first place! :applecry:

    Comment posted by Jenova2 deleted at 4:54am on the 7th of February, 2013
    #94 · Chapter 5 · 14w, 6d ago · · ·
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    What happened to the new chapter?  I was pumped to finally see an update!

    #95 · Chapter 5 · 14w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>2087494 See the comment above. Apparently it sucked so horribly that it shouldn't even be up. Thus, I unpublished it.

    #96 · Chapter 4 · 14w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Damn this was short, but seriously very well written, I love this pairing..onto the next one!:ajsmug:

    #97 · Chapter 5 · 14w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Some ponies can never get a break, can they?:facehoof: The small little family shot was amazing, I can see those two having such a future:twilightsmile: Damn.....Bic Mac gonna knock you out:yay: Wonder how Rarity escaped though?:derpytongue2: I bucking love this, can't wait for more:ajsmug:

    #98 · Chapter 3 · 14w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I really hate to do this, but constructive criticism is required to grow. Like many have said before you need to slow things down and let the world breathe. The characters also feel pretty wooden and non existent. And the dialog sounds so forced that it is hard to finish the paragraph without your mind wandering.

    Now for a few suggestions. I would take the time to explore each character a bit more, Explore there thought process and give some more time to the emotional struggles of the relationship. To help with the dialog I would run the conversations through your head and see if they felt natural. If it doesn't flow properly it should be obvious. Last but not least is a story needs a bit of conflict to be interesting. Do NOT be afraid to lead your readers on, or throw large road blocks in the way of your characters. It is overcoming these obstacles that leads to memorable moments and entertainment for your readers.  

    I am sorry to come down so hard, and I am sure my ramblings make me sound like I have absolutely no clue what I am talking about, but I am sure if you take some of these to heart this story can really shine.

    #100 · Chapter 6 · 10w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>2231264 Yep, whatever will they do. :raritydespair:

    You'll just have to wait and see. :eeyup:

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