• Published 20th May 2015
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Shifting Melodies - Thadius0



He's a unicorn accountant in service to a smuggling ring. She's a high-ranking Thestral in the Day Guard. Together, they fight crime. Too bad one of them's lying.

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Chapter 52 - His red phase

Painted Palette wandered the early morning markets. He hadn't wanted to wake his house guest, marefriend? He wasn't sure what their relationship was at this point.

"Mornin' Paint!" Ruby greeted him with a clap on the back. "You're lookin' chipper this mornin'. Something good happen?"

"Maybe," the stallion winced as he lifted a few apples and oranges into his bag. "You?"

"The wife had our foal last night," he beamed. "Got myself a cute little filly now!"

"Congrats Ru. We're having a drink later to celebrate."

"Count on it," Ruby chuckled. "So what’s the deal with that cute mare you're rumoured to be seeing? Finally getting back out there?"

Paint snorted and shook his head. “That’s my business Ruby, so get your snout out of it.”

“As obstinate as always,” Ruby chuckled as he put a few extra vegetables into Paint’s bag. “Go on and git. Ah reckon you got somepony to get back to eh?”

Paint just grumbled and nodded his head as he trotted off. He picked up some more coffee beans and some juice as well. A few more orders for later and the stallion headed home. Hopefully the pragmatic mare hadn’t woken up and used his absence to screw with his carefully organised chaos...

When he finally returned, he took one look inside and sighed, as Critical seemed to be up, barely. She was in that weird state between awake and asleep, where coffee or a lack of would determine if she stayed up or went back to bed for another hour.

Paint watched the mare stumble around in a half-asleep state and chuckled as he put his groceries in the kitchen. The two had been living together for a couple of days now, and Painted Palette was learning how to tease in this day and age.

“Careful there,” he said as he moved her to the couch. “Sleepwalking can be dangerous.”

“Mmmeh,” she said as she lay there on his couch before looking up at her host. “Coffee?” she asked slowly.

“I dunno, you’re less snarky like this,” he said with an amused snort as he moved into the kitchen to unpack. “Maybe I should cut off coffee altogether?”

After a few seconds, he heard only a light snore coming from the couch and realized that she’d fallen back asleep. Then again, they had pulled a late night last night...

“Huh, I think I like her asleep the best,” he mused. “No sass or backtalk, snores like a banshee though...” He placed some beans into the grinder as he stared at the new-fangled coffee maker they’d bought yesterday. “Now how in the hay do I use this blasted thing again...?”

The big, obvious button shone at the stallion, just daring him to push it.

He tilted his head as he pressed a hoof against the button, then cringed as he waited for the damned thing to explode or something. But going against all his imaginative thoughts of the apocalypse occurring, the coffee maker dinged and a fresh pot was born.

“Huh, well I guess that’s a thing,” he muttered. He glanced at the asleep Changeling and then back to the pot and an idea formed. He placed some more beans in the maker, then instead of putting water into it, he put the coffee he just brewed.

What was born after that, could have been considered a jumpstart like none other. His mind failed to form a suitable metaphor, but in the end, he trotted back to the couch and waved a sugar-filled mug of the twice-brewed coffee under her nose and awaited a reaction.

He got one, in the form of her twitching and nearly taking his damn hoof off as she grabbed the life-giving stuff like it was the last cup in existence. She hissed as she held it close to her chest, cradling the cup protectively. “Coffeeeee,” she said as she inhaled the scent.

“Crystals, you’re a weird one in the morning,” Paint said with a small amount of shock as he fetched his own cup and sat on the opposite side of the room. He’d need a running start if she leapt at him.

“Coffee,” she said by way of explanation, before taking a sip of the stuff and sighing appreciatively. “My brother introduced me to the stuff by way of letter, and then I got a taste for it. Apparently he just doesn’t function in the morning without it.”

“And neither do you,” he sighed as he sipped his drink and grimaced. Sweet Cadence that was strong, too strong for him. “Bleh, I think I’ll settle for juice instead.”

“It’s not for everypony,” Critical admitted before drinking hers again and humming. “It tastes different, very different, what did you do?”

“Brewed it, swapped the beans and used the coffee I already had to brew it again. Dunno what I was thinking really.” He set his mug aside as he grabbed a carrot and a glass of juice. “You actually like it?”

“It’s a bit stronger than I’m used to, but it’s nothing another sugar-cube and some cream can’t solve,” the nymph hummed. “I think I’ll go get some of that, actually.” With that, she was off the couch and had both cups of coffee in her magical grasp. “What was the breakfast plan?”

“I bought some fruit and veggies, go nuts,” he said, pointing at the kitchen as he munched his carrot. Critical blinked before slowly turning to look at him and facehooving.

“One of these days,” she said before removing the hoof. “I will get you to cook successfully.”

“Good luck,” he laughed. “The wife tried that for ten years. Never got anywhere. So we just accepted the inevitable.” He paused and frowned as some memories resurfaced. He snorted and shook his head. “So it’s good I have a cute little thing like you around eh?”

“I suppose so,” she said, only blushing a little. “Still, at least you’re trying to keep the kitchen stocked...speaking of,” she said, perking up a little. “When was the last time you actually sold a piece? As far as I’m aware, you’re the current breadwinner.”

“I sold that one to your brother,” he replied. “As well as a few others that day. But aside from that...” It would have been close to four years or so. He’d stopped painting back then. “Maybe I should look into that.”

“Mhmm,” she said as she walked into the kitchen. “Apparently you painted a cute mare the other day,” she spoke up over various chopping noises. “I think that one would sell very well, and I don’t think I’d mind it being sold so neither of us starved.”

“Ehhh, I kinda wanted to keep that one though,” he pouted. It really didn’t suit him. “Well, I guess I have the real thing to look at, and for once I have to agree that it’s much prettier~”

Critical was glad she was in another room, he wouldn’t be able to see her blush at the compliment. She rallied eventually, though, and returned fire. “If you say so, plus, this gives you the room to paint her again. I’m sure if you asked nicely, she’d not mind taking a variety of...interesting poses for you~”

Seems that blushing was contagious at the moment. He snorted and looked away. “Yeah well... fine.” He gulped his juice down and sighed. This mare was going to be the death of him. “Actually, I’ve had an offer in the past for one of my pieces... maybe I should take them up on that.”

“If you feel like you can, I know how much some of them mean to you,” Critical said as she finished preparing her simple garden salad. The nymph walked back out and munched idly on it before clearing her mouth with a gulp. “And don’t forget to take the new one with you, I get the feeling you’ll be painting a lot more of that mare. If you can generate some interest in her now…”

“Hmph, I think I can do that,” he grunted as he went to walked past her towards his store room. He paused as he leant his head down and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips before resuming his trek into the adjoining room. Critical managed to last just long enough for him to not be in sight before she erupted into her usual blush. She...was never going to get used to him returning her teasing, was she?...

He eventually returned with a few wrapped pieces, along with a larger one that he would need assistance with in carrying.

“If you don’t mind, you think you could help me load this into the wagon?” He grunted as he put the portrait of Sombra against a wall. Her horn lit up green as she helped steady his load with her magic. A moment of concentration saw her usual disguise flickering into view, as she realized she might have to go into public.

“Better?” she asked.

“Eh, you’re pretty regardless,” he replied as he fetched a few more pieces and begun to take them outside. She was glad of her disguise once he returned, otherwise he would see her blush, she knew. She decided to float some pieces into the wagon while he worked on getting them from various parts of the house, multitasking and eating her simple breakfast while she did.

Once he tied them down, he hitched himself up and stretched his legs. It’d been awhile since he hauled a load like this. So with a strained grunt, he started to head off towards the city proper, his muse falling into step beside him.


The librarian had been quite surprised over Paint’s change of heart. All of the other portraits that had been commissioned by the tyrant king had been destroyed, so his was one of the only ones remaining. Even with the sale of just this piece, they would be set for money for a good long while. But, it wouldn’t hurt to have extra for frivolous spending and the like.

So he had rented a spare vendor’s booth in the marketplace as he started to set up his pieces. Amongst the ones he had, Critical noticed that he had hung the one she painted next to the portrait he’d done of her.

“You...didn’t have to do that,” she said softly as she looked at the portrait of the stallion.

“Hrm? You want to keep it?” he asked, realising he’d probably just made her mad by wanting to sell something of hers.

“No no, by all means, if you think it’ll sell, sell it,” the mare said as she sighed and looked away. “I doubt it will, though. They have so many other works to choose from, and it’s been so long since I painted anything…”

“It’s good, so I wouldn’t be so surprised,” he said, complimenting her. “And if nopony does, then that’s their loss.” She kicked at the pavement, and he got the sensation that she was blushing under her disguise.

“Yes, well,” here she coughed a few times before turning back to him. “I’ll not get in your way here if I can avoid it. With your permission, I’d like to finish cleaning your home,” she referenced his study where he kept the portrait of his family along with his bedroom in one sentence.

“Hmm, stay with me for a bit. That pretty face might attract more customers than my ugly mug,” he chuckled, taking a great deal of amusement from her adorable reaction. It didn’t take long to part with a few small ones. He’d whipped up a few postcard-sized pieces as they worked, selling them for about fifty bits. Those seemed to be a popular amongst the tourists.

Then a mare approached the counter. She was a pretty pink Pegasus with a lavender and blue mane and tail. Her Cutie Mark was that of a bow and arrow, but the arrowhead was a loveheart.

She looked at the pieces and saw the painting of Critical, humming thoughtfully. “Ooh, I quite like that one!” she chirped, her voice was just as beautiful as she was.

“That’s my most recent one,” he said. “First piece I’ve done in a thousand years. But... if you’re interested, I do have a small stipulation surrounding it.”

“Oh?’ she inquired.

“The one next to it, they have to be sold as a pair.” He said, motioning to the one Critical painted. “They’re a pair, so I can’t separate them I’m afraid.”

Critical meeped a little at the attention, before narrowing her eyes at the mare in front of them. Something looked...off. Working with glamour all the time gave her a sense for when it was being applied...and it didn’t take her long to figure out what was wrong in this case. She decided to hold her tongue, though. No sense bringing it up unless it became an issue.

“Hmm, well I had my eye on that one as well. It’s a little rough, but I can see how much love was put into it,” she looked at Critical and smiled. “Of course I’ll take both. They’ll make wonderful additions to my new room.”

“Many thanks ma’am,” he said as he started to wrap the pieces. “And, if you don’t mind. I’d like to see this room once it’s done.” He also didn’t want her buying both, only to toss Crit’s out later.

“Having such an artist look it over? I’d be honoured,” she nodded. She tapped her chin and smiled. “How about later tonight? I can treat you and your lovely muse to dinner while I’m at it.”

Paint looked to Critical, wanting her opinion. She gulped at the thought of dining with this mare before smiling insincerely at him. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she said with a fake cheery tone.

“Well then, I’ll meet you at the Crystal Heart after sunset,” the mare said chipperly. “We’ll head back to my place after that.” Palette had finished and the mare placed both paintings into her wagon, currently being towed by an orange Pegasus with a blue mane and tail. “Until then, have a good day!” She gave them another smile and trotted away, as Paint gave Critical a smirk.

“Told you it’d sell.”

“Only because you made it sell,” Critical riposted, putting a hoof to her chest as she made sure she was still alive.

“It still sold, she could have refused you know,” Paint ruffled her mane as he started to pack up. “And look on the bright side, nopony has to cook tonight either. I made a ton of money and got us a free meal with a noble.”

“Oh, if only you knew,” Critical said before realizing what she just said and hurriedly clamping her own mouth shut.

“Huh, you say something?” he said as he loaded up the cart with the leftover pieces.

“I’ll tell you when we get home,” the disguised nymph said with a sigh. She wasn’t looking forward to telling him why she wasn’t looking forward to dinner...

“Mares,” he muttered as he finished with the cart and hitched himself back up. “Alright, let’s go then. You’re itching to clean right?”

“I was mostly looking for a distraction, and I found one,” she said as she shook her head. “Seriously, how did you not notice?...”

“Notice what?” he asked as they walked home. “You actually want to stop beating the bush and tell me?”

“Okay, because of...my past,” she said, not saying directly because of the presence of tourists, “I have a talent for both using and spotting glamours. That mare was under one.”

“Thought she was a little too pretty,” he said with a snort. “What, is she actually some old bat?”

“The thing that stood out to me wasn’t her age,” the unicorn mare said. “But the fact that she didn’t seem to need anypony else to cast that glamour. And that those wings still looked pretty real on her.”

Paint frowned as he put her vague description together. he came to a simple conclusion.

“Wut?”

“Horn, wings, whole package,” Critical outlined. “Still pink. I know you can put the pieces together, Painted.”

“Pft, you sure? The only local pony that has horn and wings is—” Then he realised what she was getting at. Just who that pony was.

“Oh.”

“That’s what I said!” the nymph exclaimed. “I’m of a mind to go home and collapse after having met her, myself.” Oh look, home was in sight.

“If you want to,” he grunted as he pushed himself further until he was up the hill and panting slightly. “Gah, this hill gets steeper every year, I swear.” He unhitched the wagon and worked out a kink in his back. “Well, come on then. Let’s go and freak out inside.”

“Mmhmm, and I have another story to tell you about your ruler and my kind…”


Later that evening, the two were looking a little more presentable as they waited at the Crystal Heart. Painted Palette looked down at the mare and whispered to her.

“If you’re nervous, you can head home if you like.”

“No, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” the nymph replied insincerely, more trying to reassure herself than him. “It’s only an alicorn who has a very good reason to have a grudge against my kind. What could possibly go wrong?”

“I reckon you might be over-reacting, so I’ll put my ‘I told you so’s’ on hold until I need ‘em.” He paused as the sound of hooves approaching could be heard, as the pink pegasus, along with a lavender Unicorn with a dark-blue mane with a pink stripe approached.

“Ah, we’re sorry to keep you waiting,” she said as they got closer. “Oh, this is my husband, Dusk Shine.”

“Hey,” he grunted. He did not look amused in the slightest. Though, it didn’t seem to be directed at the pair of them, more towards the pegasus mare…

“Hello,” Critical said as she nodded her head to the pair. “I’m Critical Eye, this is my host, Painted Pallete.”

“Hey,” Paint grunted.

The Pegasus smiled at them both, “My name is Love Song. It’s nice to meet the both of you again.”

Critical nodded at the pegasus before turning to unicorn of the pair and slightly tilting her head. “So, you’re skilled in glamours then, sir? I noticed the one on your wife the first time we met, but thought it impolite to bring up to a Pegasus.”

“Ah, well, I’m not...too bad,” he replied awkwardly. He decided that any place to look was better than the Unicorn mare before him.

“You noticed that?” Love inquired with a surprised tone. “That’s...quite observant.”

“Your shadow didn’t match,” the mare deadpanned. “Anypony looking down would have noticed if they put two and two together.”

Love Song blinked before frowning lightly. “Oh Ponyfeathers. So, I guess the jig is up then?”

“Perhaps,” Critical grinned. “Though, don’t be too despondent. You fooled me for all of ten seconds. I actually thought you were a Pegasus until I looked down myself.”

“Well, I tried,” she giggled as Dusk sighed.

“Can I please stop looking like this now?” he whined.

“Oh fine, party pooper,” Love smiled as her forehead shone and she dropped their disguises, revealing Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. Painted Palette bowed his head respectfully, but the alicorn waved him off.

“Oh please don’t be formal, we invited you after all. And, you’re full of surprises Miss Critical, just like your brother...”

“He...did mention meeting you and how it ended on a high note,” Critical hedged. “But when I asked him about the intervening notes, he always fell quiet before changing the subject…”

“Ah, so he didn’t mention getting arrested by me and then blind drunk with me?” Shining chuckled.

That...was the wrong thing to say, apparently. The mare turned a gaze on him that could have given most of his guard pause. “You did what to my brother?” she asked in a tone that would make a Windigo back off. “Was that because of what we are, or what neither of us did to you?”

Painted moved to hold the mare back as Shining winced.

“My husband did make a mistake, yes,” Cadence replied. “But that was both apologized for and they parted on amicable terms. We have no intention of doing something like that again, unless Chrysalis herself enters our city.”

“...Fine,” Critical eventually said. “You’re just lucky my brother spoke so highly of you,” she warned the stallion. The nymph in disguise eventually added another thing to her observation. “Well, that and that your wife is in charge around here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shining muttered as Palette patted him on the back.

“Ah don’t worry, I’m used to having a bossy mare around my house as well.”

“You do like my cooking, right Palette?” Critical asked sweetly. The stallion gulped and looked away as he gave her a strained smile.

“What I meant to say, is what a lovely mare I have helping me out.”

“Pushover,” Shining chuckled. He suddenly winced as Cadence used a single, dainty hoof to push the unsuspecting Unicorn over.

“You were saying?” she smiled.

“Well now that we’ve shown who’s in charge,” Critical said with a smile that she shared with Cadence, something that she didn’t ever expect would happen this evening, “Shall we retire to whatever restaurant you picked out?”

“Restaurant? Oh, no, I was being sincere when I mentioned our place,” Cadence said with a light giggle. “You’ll be coming to the Palace to dine.”

“W-What?” Painted Palette now felt very underdressed. Not to mention, he still had rather fresh memories of that castle’s last inhabitant. That was about when he felt two familiar hard hooves wrapping around his neck as Critical hugged him from behind, her form pressing into his.

“Emotivore,” she whispered into his ear. “If you’re really afraid of going there, and you don’t think I’d be enough to help...we can decline still. We have plenty of food at the home…”

The stallion took a deep breath and shook his head. “No...gotta get over it at some point or another right.” He looked back at her and winked. “Wouldn’t do to be afraid of the place we’re gonna get married in~”

“Oh my,” Cadence giggled, blushing lightly. Critical squeaked and- yep, she knew her disguise was blushing as well. That stallion made her lose all control of her blush far too often. Cadence let out a longer giggle as Paint wondered if he took that joke a little too far.

“You okay kid?” he asked her, waving a hoof in front of her face. She just blushed harder and buried her face in his mane.

“Let’s just go to dinner,” her muffled reply came. He chuckled and nodded, keeping her close as they followed the royal couple back to the castle.


Dinner was actually a rather subdued affair. Paint had been expecting caviar and other unpronounceable things that he’d have to eat about thirty of to get even remotely full.

Instead, they’d dined on garlic breadsticks, delicious and hearty vegetable soup and as much to drink as they wanted. Dessert was now being served, a large serving of crystal berry pie and vanilla gelato.

“So,” Cadence said as they waited. “How long have the two of you been a couple?”

“A few weeks now?” Critical more asked than answered.

“We’re a couple?” Paint replied, a little confused. “When did that happen?”

“I know that feeling,” Shining mumbled into his pie.

“Probably around the same time you started trusting me,” Critical said honestly. Paint blushed lightly and shrugged.

“Well, there you have it, a couple of weeks I guess,” he answered the Princess. The Alicorn looked at them and barely suppressed the urge to squeal with happiness.

“Well I’m happy for the both of you,” she smiled. “And I wish you all the best.” She leaned in closer to Critical and winked.

“If you need any advice, come and see me okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Critical winked back. It always was good getting a second opinion...especially an experienced one.

After dessert, Cadence kept her promise of showing them the room she was talking about. It was a room filled with things made by her subjects. Pottery, paintings, little nick-knacks. It was a kaleidoscope of what her empire was made of. The various personalities of her subjects, and what they were capable of, what they loved.

“This is...” Painted Palette looked around in wonder. “I had no idea...”

“It’s a work in progress,” Cadence nodded. “I want to show, the love everypony has. The determination and resolve they have.”

“Your subjects?” Palette’s eyes flicked to the painting that Critical did. “But that one—”

“Is from one of my precious subjects as well,” Cadence smiled softly. “It doesn’t matter who, or how long they’re here.”

“Thank you,” Critical said softly. “For considering me for such a lofty position.”

“You’re most welcome dear,” Cadence smiled, then her eyes got a mischievous twinkle. “Besides, when you marry Palette here, you will be one anyway~”

To her embarrassment, Critical did blush at the idea, before her eyes twinkled as well. “Assuming he ever works up the nerve to ask,” the nymph in disguise teased.

Now it was Palette’s turn to blush and splutter, deciding to take an interest in a painting at the opposite end of the room, causing the mares to giggle at him.

Soon after, a guard entered and Cadence had to excuse herself.

“Sorry, guess a Princesses work is never done,” she smiled and sighed. “Still, it was very nice meeting you both.”

“And you as well,” Critical said as she gave a short bow to the rulers.

Shining and Paint shared a manly grunt and a nod, and the two couples parted ways. Paint took another look around the room and sighed.

“Well kid, wanna head home?”

“If you’re done, we can go,” the nymph said as she cast her own final gaze around the room. “I doubt such a collection would only be for private use, so we’ll probably be able to return one day if we miss anything between now and whenever that is.”

“True enough,” he replied as a guard showed them the way out of the castle and they were soon on their way home. A mixture of thoughts milled about in the stallion’s head, causing him no end of confusion. Said feelings probably didn’t go unnoticed by the resident emotivore either.

“Okay, spill,” the disguised nymph said once they were outside. “You’re pretty confused about something. And sometimes talking it out with somepony helps somepony think things through.”

He gave his trademark grunt before sighing. “Did you...mean what you said before? About being a couple? Or, are you just having fun teasing me again?”

She was oddly silent as they walked back, evidently turning the question over herself. “I wouldn’t mind,” she said simply, eventually. “But I know you’ve lost...a lot. I can’t even imagine recovering from that. So until the day comes when you’re ready, I’ll be content to simply pose for you.”

“Something like that,” he replied. “I don’t know, if I’ll ever be ready... but.” He turned his head slightly and looked at her with one open eye. “I reckon that you’d give me a shove if I asked, or even if I didn’t.” She stopped and turned to face her, the gleaming crystal castle behind her, the open and vast night sky behind him.

“I can’t promise, that I’d feel for you what I did for her. But, I want...to at least give it a try. You reckon, you could put up with me for a while longer?” He rubbed his leg and frowned. “Ah, I’m no good at this sort of thing...”

“I’ve been putting up with you so far,” Critical teased the stallion. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that.” Within, a faint hope bloomed. Was he asking her…?

And there was his trademark frown as well. “Well, I don’t know how you kids say it these days. Exactly how am I supposed to ask you out?”

“Well I doubt you want me to jump in bed with you like that,” Critical teased. “Perhaps another date night? One without, ah, royal pressure?”

“With all the teasing you’ve done,” he muttered. He’d certainly entertained the idea more than once. He was still a stallion after all. “But yeah, another date would be nice as well.”

“Mmm,” She said as she brushed past him, barely, giving him a small smile as she did. “You can choose the restaurant then. I’ll trust your judgement as to which would be best for us~”

“Uh, sure,” he said mutely as he repeated the last ten minutes in his head, wondering if that actually just happened. He just decided to roll with it and turned to follow her. At least he could watch that flank of hers on the way home~


Later the next afternoon, Painted Palette returned home with a small and rarely used smile on his face. It was obvious to anyone that he was up to something. He’d left Critical at home for the day, and hoped that she hadn’t messed with his home too badly...

He was quite surprised to find her in the storeroom, just staring at the portrait of his family. He walked up behind her and placed a hoof on her shoulder.

“Something up kid?”

“Just...feeling like the third wheel,” she said softly, raising a hoof to lightly brush the canvas. “Like you don’t need me anymore.”

He frowned and then grabbed a cloth, covering the canvas up. “First, you can’t tell me how I feel,” he said, his tone only having a little bite to it. “And second, if I really felt like that, would I have spent half the day looking for a nice place to have our next date?”

“You did?” she said, ears perking forward in curiosity. “Oh, now I’m interested~”

“Mares,” he shook his head. “And yeah, I found a nice restaurant that we can go to.”

“Details?” the nymph asked with a smile.

“Hmm, maybe wear something nice if you want. But, I think I’ll keep a few surprises,” he winked. “We’ll be heading out in a little bit, so I hope you worked up an appetite today.”

“Hmm,” the nymph said before her horn sparked and a...somewhat more stunning version of her usual disguise covered her form. “Something like this?” she asked innocently.

“I think that’s considered cheating,” he mused. “But at least I know you won’t go out and spend all my money on clothes.” He gave the painting another look and nodded. “And try not to worry about that okay?” He made a note to put the piece away into storage the next time he had a moment. He’d never get rid of it, but...

It was time to start moving forward again.

“I’ll go and take a shower,” he replied and winked at her as he walked into the bathroom. “No peeking.”

“No promises,” she teased back, only blushing a little. “If you keep me bored for too long, I might just come up and ogle for a bit.”

He just chuckled as he headed inside and she heard the shower starting.

She also noticed that the door had been left open by a little bit…

Biting her lip and just knowing that more than a few of her step-fathers might approve of her actions (Ledger’s dad came to mind), she sneaked up and peeked through the crack, trying to get her first proper look at a stallion. The first thing she noticed is how toned he was, much more muscular than a mare. And while he acted like an old coot, he’d revealed that he was only in his late thirties. Though, he liked to say he was over a thousand and even called the Princesses whelps.

And when he turned to scrub his tail, she caught sight of the part that made him a stallion...

And boy was he a stallion and a half. She even found herself entertaining a fantasy before beating it down forcibly.

Bad nymph! He hasn’t even offered to do anything like that with you yet!

But you’ve made that offer to him...who’s a little imagining going to hurt?

She bit her lip just a little harder and found herself unable to look away as she imagined them doing various...things together. Things that she knew would require the use of that potion miss Midnight had given her...

It also didn’t help when he washed that part, his hoof lingered there a little longer than what might have been necessary. Perhaps if she was a pony, she wouldn’t have thought much beyond it being a nice show.

But as a Changeling, it wasn’t hard to figure out what emotions were behind it, and just who he was thinking about.

He’s even thinking about you, that traitorous little voice whispered. Why don’t you show him how much you appreciate it?

No no no! That was crossing a line! That was crossing all the lines and rendering the date unneeded!

It wasn’t until the squeak of the shower knobs that she broke out of her inner thoughts. She could see him moving around in there, as he grabbed a towel as an ear flicked towards the door. She let off a small squeak of her own as she bolted for the bedroom, on the pretense that she would be using the mirror there to check her disguise. He walked in a moment later, giving her an odd look as he dried his mane and tail.

“Something up kid?” he asked. “I’ve got tomatoes in the kitchen that aren’t as red as you.”

“Nothing!” she squeaked unconvincingly. Sweet hives...she’d read books about how Violets stacked up to normal drones, but they failed to prepare her for...that! She blushed a little more at the thought.

He gave her a head tilt and a few thoughts entered his mind. Deciding to take a stab in the dark, he leaned closer and whispered into her ear.

“Enjoy the show did we?”

“Meep!” That did it, her entire face went red. He blinked, not having expected that from her. He just assumed she was all bark and no bite when it came to this sort of thing.

Oh, crap, did she see him do that as well?

“W-Well, it’s...fine, I guess,” he said as he turned to finish drying his coat. She slowly came down from being so red, but didn’t say anything. The very thought of him doing that to thoughts of her...kept her mouth locked up. What do you say when that happens? What can you say?! ‘Hey, I saw you pleasuring yourself to thoughts of me, wanna talk about it?’

Want the real th-

NO! Critical clamped down on that line of thought as soon as it appeared. Sweet hives, this was going to drive her crazy.

Paint had finished, as he sat there and watched the variety of facial expressions cross her muzzle. It was actually quite entertaining. And the fact that she’d gotten like this for peeping. Well, it did stroke his ego a little as well~

He crossed the room and placed a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “So, you ready to do it?” he asked.

That sent her right back into blush territory as she put that line together with the ones running in her head. “Are you sure you know what you’re asking?” she fired back.

“Hmm, I’m just asking if you’re ready for our date,” he replied with a small smile. “What the heck are you talking about?”

“...You probably could guess,” Critical said as she slowly calmed down.

True, he probably could. That’s why this was so much fun. “Well, saddle up kid. We have a dinner to get to.” He gave her nose a playful poke and trotted out into the living room. “Or maybe you need a cold shower first. You could melt the tundra with that face.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” she said as she got to her hooves. A very good idea. And now that he wasn’t in the shower…

She all but bolted into the bathroom and sighed at the feeling of cold water cooling her chitin down. She dropped her disguise, not seeing the point in maintaining it as she just stood under the showerhead, enjoying the cold temperatures.

Painted Palette blinked at the blur that had invaded his bathroom, and chuckled when he heard the shower running. That was just too funny. A small part of his brain wondered if turnabout was fair play, but a gentlestallion did not peek.

Eventually, Critical re-emerged from the shower with a towel as she dried her nymph self off. “Oooh, I needed that,” she said with a soft sigh.

“That so?” he asked idly, a small smirk on his muzzle. “Feel better now kid?”

“Much,” she replied before stepping close and pecking him on the side of his muzzle. “And thanks for not peeking. I wouldn’t have held it against you if you did, considering what I just did, but thanks for not.” She cleared her throat and stood in front of the mirror again as she re-donned her disguise, checking it for errors.

“You look fine,” he said quietly, rubbing his cheek. “If it weren’t for normal ponies walking around, I’d tell you to lose the disguise altogether. But, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He grabbed his wallet and placed in in his satchel bag. “Come on now, let’s get going or we’ll be late.”

After giving herself one last check, Critical nodded and followed after Palette. “Lead on,” she said simply, admiring that flank of his the entire way.

And a little something mo-

NO!


The restaurant in question was one inside a hotel, and a pretty fancy one at that. The greeter had been quite courteous and soon the two were seated at a table that offered a very nice view of the city.

“I hope this is alright,” Paint said. He looked a little uncomfortable in such a formal setting. But it was also kinda cute. Critical giggled before pointing at a fast-food restaurant that was being constructed down the road by a group of normal ponies.

“You could take me to a place like that,” she said before raising her menu, not wanting him to see the blush she knew she was about to sport. “And it’d be fine by me, because it was you doing it.”

Paint blinked and chose that moment to go nose first into his menu, grumbling under his breath about mares being too damned adorable. Before Critical could tease him further, a waiter approached, the kind that had their nose so far up they could probably smell the moon.

“Would the sir and the madame like to order now?” he asked. Critical blinked before looking at the waiter with a hint of a vicious smile around her mouth. She motioned for Palette to order first as she composed her order in her head.

“Uhh,” Paint stared at the menu. This place had adopted some Prench style and he could read a goddamn word of it. “What’s this... Ess-car-got?”

“You probably don’t want that,” Critical intervened before the waiter could. “Are you fine with shrimp and clams, things like shellfish?”

“I’ve never had them before,” he said, poking out his tongue slightly. “Isn’t that meat though?”

“It’d only be an issue if you were eating a seapony,” she fired back with her own tongue poking out of her muzzle. “Fish and shellfish are widely seen as morally acceptable to eat these days, and pegasi tend to develop a taste for it.”

“Well, first time for everything,” he muttered. “Sure. Why not...and,” he raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “You believe in seaponies?”

“Later,” she said before turning to the waiter and exercising her Prench. “Nous aurons la rigatoni avec aux palourdes, s'il vous plaît.”

The waiter’s eyes widened a little, not having expected that. He gave her a polite nod as he wrote the order down and walked off.

“Okay, what the heck was all gibber-jabber?” he asked her. She giggled lightly and smiled at him.

“Me ordering dinner,” she explained, barely, before her eyes went wide and she looked at the retreating waiter. “Oh shoot, I forgot to get drinks. Garcon!”

The waiter returned and looked at her. “Yes?”

“Nous avons besoin d'un vin pour aller avec le dîner, peut-être un vin blanc sec?”

The waiter nodded. “A fine choice Madame. I shall return with it momentarily.” he whisked himself away as Paint just looked at the mare. She’d effectively shot down the filly-like personality he was used to, and now a beautiful, cultured mare sat in her place.

It was really weird and perhaps just more than a little bit sexy. He suddenly found the window view fascinating as his face heated up again.

“Well, now that that’s taken care of,” the mare said as she switched back to normal Equestrian. “Dates are usually used to get to know one another better, and I think I’d rather avoid bringing the mood down by asking you too many questions.” No need to go into why, they both knew the reasoning behind that. “So fire away,” she purred.

“Huh? Uh, well...” Being put on the spot like that made him freeze up a little. So he simply said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Seaponies? Really?”

“Would you have discounted changelings, or bug-ponies, before you met me as well?” she pointed out with a small victorious grin.

“Probably,” he grunted. Seaponies were actually real? Damn, he owed Ruby two bits now. “Well, okay, so...are you, enjoying yourself so far?”

“It’s been an enjoyable evening, except when you almost ordered snails to eat,” she said with another giggle.

“Snails?” He looked at the menu item he had asked about and shuddered. “Oh that is disgusting...and why would you pay that much for something I can dig up outside?”

“Why would anypony pay for a painting done by you when they could just buy paint and paint their own painting instead?” Critical fired back. “It’s not the ingredients, it’s the skill behind using them you’re paying for. ...That being said, I was fairly confident you weren’t in the mood for something slimy to eat.”

“Yeah, no,” he adamantly agreed as the waiter brought their wine over, served in a chilled bucket of ice along with two fine crystal glasses.

“Your wine, honoured guests,” he replied as he placed them on the table and poured two glasses. Once he left, Paint raised an eyebrow and looked at her.

“You. You ordered alcohol?”

“Only a little to go with dinner,” she said with a giggle, sniffing the wine and humming her appreciation. “Mmm, I think I’ll give this a few minutes before drinking it, though. Garcon, how long until our meals are ready?”

“A few more minutes Madame,” he said. She nodded and gave the waiter a smile. Once he left, her gaze fell back on Palette, who figured he was being thrown under the cart again.

“Okay, how about this,” he asked. “Where do you want this to go? What would you like from this...relationship? A fling? Something more...permanent?”

“I wouldn’t mind taking whatever you feel comfortable offering,” the disguised nymph said, blatantly skirting past that topic. “But you’d have to be comfortable offering it first.”

“Fair enough,” Paint said as he sipped his wine. Now what was that peculiar little emotion that he just had? He was...oh yes, he was hiding something~

Before she could question it further though, the waiter returned with their meals. It was a generous serving on top of it and it smelled delicious. Even Paint looked like he was about to inhale the food the second he had a chance.

“Please enjoy,” the waiter smiled before leaving them to it.

“Merci beaucoup,” the disguised nymph said, never losing that smile. The waiter nodded, not really wanting to tell the mare he didn’t speak a word of Prench.

“Having fun?” Paint asked her as he gave his meal a tentative nibble. Ohh, that was good. Critical giggled as well.

“I’m glad he understood Prench, I haven’t had a chance to exercise it in ages! But all my lessons came flooding back when I saw the menu!” She levitated a fork up and began spearing the rigatoni, making sure no noodle entered her mouth without a generous helping of clam.

“You actually learned that fancy talk?” he asked her. “I just figured it was a Changeling thing you were doing.”

“Bit of both,” she said between bites. “Changelings can learn new languages quickly. I learned Prench when I was younger. My brother went after ‘major languages,’ I went after ‘Equestrian’ and ‘Eclectic.’”

“Sounds...confusing,” he admitted. He didn’t have much of a talent for that sort of thing. Aside from his art, his grades in school were mediocre at best. He ate another mouthful and hummed thoughtfully. “I think you might be on to something with this seafood stuff. It’s not bad.”

“Mmhmm,” the mare hummed. “Ponies are always surprised that there’s a form of life out there that tastes good when cooked right. Plus a little extra protein beyond eggs is good for you~” She sang the last bit before she had another bite of her meal, which was now half-gone.

“I bet that’s not the only source of protein you want,” he said, more to himself really. Like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud…

She still heard him, though, and the implications caused her to let out another meep and blush before taking a big sip of her wine. Almost a gulp, really.

They soon finished their meals and the wine bottle was about half empty. But he’d bought the whole thing, so they could take it with them. The waiter returned a little while later, and looked at Palette.

“Would you like dessert now? Or do you wish to retire to your room for the evening?”

Palette tapped his chin and nodded. “I think we’ll head on up. We’ll take some of this and this though,” he said, pointing at two items on the menu. He didn’t know much, but he recognised the names of the creme brulee and chocolate cake.

“Very good sir. I wish you a pleasant evening then.” He took the menus and gave a bow of his head as he left the couple to themselves.

“Well then, ready to head up to our room?” he asked.

“You...got a room here?” she asked, already feeling that blush coming back as she thought about why he would do something like that.

“Well, this place is only for guests,” he replied as he offered his hoof to help her up. “Besides, I think we could use some time away from the old homestead. Some fresh scenery if you will.”

“If you say so,” she said as she took his hoof, getting on her hooves as she felt her face flush. “I...will admit that seeing the sights was on my list of things to do, after ‘getting your house in order.’”

“Well, glad to hear it,” he said as he escorted her towards the elevator. After a climb, and Paint getting only slightly lost inside the huge building. They finally found their room. It was pretty spacious. Had it’s own fridge and bathroom.

And only one large bed…

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