Celestia awakens to find herself changed: she has, for reasons unknown, become an earth pony, waking in Fluttershy's living room. Something is immediately off about it though--namely, the fact that the pegasus is alive.
Luna, regressed to fillyhood, is surrounded by strangers who stroll about Canterlot Castle as if they own the place. Who is this Lord Winter, and where is her sister? And what's this about a war with the Dark Lord?
Cadance has suffered greatly for reasons she doesn't understand. Drawn south into a kingdom at once familiar and yet alien, she is offered sanctuary but comes face to face with the one who wronged her.
And between all three, one question remains unanswered: Where is Twilight Sparkle?
With Equestria turned upside down, ponies from past, present, and future intermingling, and with the ominous threat of a great danger set to befall the entire land, the three princesses must unravel the mystery of this altered world and uncover a way to return to their proper lives.
Preread, with my thanks, by Full Tome. While I'm fairly confident in my own grammar and mechanics skills, I appreciate any and all feedback. Feel free to point out my errors and inconsistencies.
Teen for language and violence. Dark tag for reference to overtly violent acts, though nothing explicit will be depicted.
Cover art by Kumkrum, used without permission. I'd like to source it better than that, but the artist's dA page doesn't seem to exist any more. If the image offends, I will gladly remove it.
I didn't like the prologue... But I'm just one of those guys who has to know everything, so in that case the lack of context really got to me.
Still, I really like the first chapter... I await (with eager anticipation) to see where you go from here.
"This was not something that she had had to bother to declare" the repeated "Had" is unneeded, you can just remove it, besides that it is very well written and certainly has enough personality to draw me in, now onto the next chapter!
Very nice, you have the basis for a solid story here but I'll probably have more to say as you progress.
I admit, I skip the prologue but the first chapter is enjoyable, yet tedious. I think I need more background of whom the Princesses are now playing as.
This had a lot of promise. Is there any status on that blog?
Holy shit, it lives! :D
10197347
What can I say?
I saw your comment, said to myself, "By God, I'm gonna finish that chapter today. finally."
And I did. Thanks for the kick in the metaphorical pants. It helped.
10197366
You're very welcome! I'll read this one when I can spare the time!
I dig it.
Okay, not only is this alive, but it ends on another cliffhanger? You’re killing me here.
This story is throughly like a story that I am writing. Though it focus's not on them getting back to their other life (though they try). In truth its them ultimatrly living life. Good or ill. Just living be you immortal or mortal. But...which is greater? What world is...greater? (neither)
Which is another focus for my story....which I have forgotten. Sigh. It is cool. I am happy to see someone else explore this idea!
Oh! I remember what it was. It was about that the canon world is not the inheritantly better world. And that having immortal absolute dictators does not actually make the best soceity. Folks write it so...but it interesting that so many folks do not write a mortal ruler. Learning and working towards a better soceity? Or a group towards that goal? (I find this idea good drama and fitting for real life) Because....(what inspired me) was that I have never read a pony story that shows different functioning societys. Just oh! Twi! You did x,y,z thing and now get to canterlot so you give me a retirement plan? Forget your friends too? Or the number of folks more suited? (I could go on cough cough)
(Aka what are the ethics of a world that is stagnating under a immortal rule. Unconcerned perhaps by the possible gains by aiming for a better soceity?)
Only how this world and that world is not the canon world?( This was a point that I voided by new sentences. So what I meant was that people instead of having a conflict in regards to different soceitys- that are equally valid? They write it as their is the [canon] as the only one valid?)
Ooh, a compelling start. The prologue was intriguing despite the lack of context, and now this raises a lot of interesting questions. I like the apparent blend of G1 and G4 characters, too; makes for an intriguing mix. (Or I guess, this is more a case of G4 historical figures being in the same timeframe as their contemporaries? I'm just used to thinking of them as the G1 cast)
Oh my, this gives a lot more context, thankfully, but there's still so many questions. Now on to the Luna chapter!
The plot thickens. I liked the use of the Tantabus, and I'm curious to see what the disturbance Luna/Selene originally detected was.
I love the ambiguity of whether this is a parallel universe (in the future) or simple the future of the original universe after a Bad Ending, with some details (Cadence's means of arrival, that everyone remembers the Equestrian age) pointing to the latter but others (familiar names and faces in a timeframe they shouldn't be in, the lack of records of Twilight, and the more ambiguous means of Celestia and Luna's "reincarnation") suggesting the former.
Speaking of Celestia and Luna, I'm curious if this is more of a Sailor Moon sort of situation where they've basically been reincarnated and only now are getting the memories of their old lives, or if Sunsong and Selene are functionally completely seperate ponies that the sisters are "overwriting" or sharing consciousness with now. The fact that even their means of arrival in this time seem somewhat different from each other as theirs are different from Cadence, adds to the intrigue and uncertainty. I look forward to seeing where this goes, once you return to it!