I'm a long time science fiction and animation fan who stumbled into My Little Pony fandom and got caught -- I guess I'm a Brony Forever now.
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"They say a guardian angel watches over fools, drunkards and children."
April, YOH 1505. Snailsquirm Carrot has just turned sixteen, and his few-months-older best friend Snipsy Snap Fields decides to help him celebrate what he regards as his newfound stallionhood by doing something perhaps a bit less cautious and well-considered than their usual wont. What could possibly go wrong?
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(Reads description)
Well, this is going to end in tears. And possibly gender confusion.
Ah, adolescence. It's not quite metamorphosis, but I know there were times when I wished my body could just dissolve itself and reform all in one go. It has to be even worse for someone tall enough that certain components are closer to eye level for his peers.
In any case, it should be interesting to see where you go with this. It's certainly not your usual subject matter. And that Zecora tag is quite intriguing...
(And I'm sure that Pinkie could think of countless possibilities for gustatory illusions.)
Friend.
Look what you gave.
And how can you ever be repaid?
I want to thank you for putting me back in my snail shell.
Oh, where Snails/Glittershell is concerned, it often starts with gender confusion. Especially because some of his/her friends know about Glittershell, and some don't!
The first chapter turned out exceptionally dirty because, not only did Snips recount what he imagines is his initiation into stallionhood, but Snails accidentally unsheathed ... and then the CMC happened along. Who are young and mostly innocent enough -- but also dirty-minded enough -- to get major fits of the giggles in consequence.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were trying their best to follow the social rule that it's rude to call attention to a stallion in such a situation, save perhaps discreetly to warn him if he doesn't seem to realize it. Scootaloo -- not so much. But then the mare she idolizes almost as a big sister isn't much for following the social rules, either.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom also like Snails more than does Scootaloo, so they felt worse for him. Snips' remark about "doing stallionly things together," in conjunction with Snails' predicament, however, made all three of them lose it. Even Sweetie Belle, who at least platonically loves Snails.
(*nods*) Especially for the fireplug-shaped Snips. And Snails is easily-embarrassed, and none too comfortable with the fact that he has male parts.
5807347
Whoops! Thanks for catching that typo!
*Reads the story notes.* Wait, wait, you mean that Snips and some mare actually did some necking? Wow. I would have sworn that his "relationship" was as real as the ones the guys boasted of back in my high school days.
Snips and Snails are immature and obsessed with their own sexuality. This is an accurate description of most male adolescents. Unfortunately, I remember being one.
If they're lucky they outgrow it... And if you for whatever reason bloomed late and *weren't* obsessed with "it" when the other guys were? Yeah, you learned to keep your mouth shut!
I'm hoping this one stays light and mostly revolves around the Two Stooges getting into the normal sort of 80's 'horny teenagers' comic trouble. And poor Snails! Going partly unsheathed before the CMC. The poor colt. Thankfully it didn't happen in the classroom as it did in one story, the title of which I've forgotten, where poor Snails has His Most Embarrassing Moment. That and one hopes that. should the older sisters of those fillies hear of it, that they don't come to have a chat with Snails -- I remember you mentioning how this sort of thing gets viewed in 'your' Equestria, but right now I'm blanking on it.
I'll be following this, should be good to see what you do with a comedy.
5808018
Or more. Mind you, Snips may not be the world's most reliable narrator in this case. Nor is Snails necessarily the best judge of Snips' veracity on the topic -- Snails is very innocent of everything sexual other than what it feels like to be transgendered. And I implied that the mare in question wasn't very classy.
Embarrassing poor Snails does seem to be a common plot element. Possibly it's because Snails, whether his canon version or the Glittershell variant, projects an air of benign, goofy innocence that practically makes the stories write themselves?
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom -- especially Sweetie Belle, who knows that Snails isn't even comfortable with having a male sexuality -- felt sorry for Snails in that situation, though neither of them could quite bring themselves to tell him that he was showing. They're both his good friends in this fanon. Scootaloo was just more amused and disgusted by the whole situation -- she's not particularly close to Snails, and (falsely) thinks he used to have a crush on her.
It feel like you got their oblivious personalities down but for some reason I was having a hard time saying the speech lines in their voices. Could just be me though. Anyway, looks interesting and what I saw so far was enjoyable. Not sure I know where you plan to go with this one but it should be a good ride so I'll stay tuned and see what happens.
5808018
... and two of them are his other best friends. Sweetie Belle knows about and approves of Glittershell, and Apple Bloom thinks of Snips as a totally good guy. Seriously embarrassing.
5813931
I'm going to re-watch some of their eps to improve their dialogue in an edit, but one thing you should know is that by my chronology, Snips and Snails are 11 when they first appear in "Boast Busters" (the ep in which they get the most lines) and 16 at the point of this story. They have matured greatly, including improving their vocabulary and speech patterns -- but not, alas, matured enough to avoid getting into trouble.
Ooh! I love it when people write Glittershell in, I fell in love with the idea after wandering onto the more tame poniboruu art on it. Neato
5935488
I find Glittershell adorable. The combination of gawkiness, sexual dysphoria and benevolent goofy innocence makes her a joy to write. Though I have to remember to write Snails/Glittershell, before she's come out of his shell, very carefully in terms of which pronoun I use -- I have to remember that they're two facets of the same person, except that one is a male and the other a female identity. I know a gender-dysphoric person (female body, male brain, hence Glittershell's opposite) very well, but I do have to remember the mindset. Which is unusual, and sometimes a challenge, but also a joy to write.
Because in my Shadow Wars Storyverse, Sweetie Belle and Glittershell are extremely good friends and remain so all their lives, if I keep writing these stories we'll get to meet an older Glittershell -- she often tours with Sweetie during the war and gets together with her on a semi-regular basis. Not quite as innocent as teenaged Glittershell, but still a very kind and good Pony. I haven't yet fully decided their fates, beyond that Sweetie will succeed in a huge way, and Glittershell in a smaller way, in part because of her friendships with Sweetie and Trixie.
As always, great job in fleshing out your world and telling a great tale in the meantime
6276664
They're not precisely a Ponification of the Dukes, but I think the overall inspiration is obvious.
Aww. Good to see Snails/Glittershell getting some support for something she loves. Though I have the distinct feeling that I'm not going to be feeling nearly as good about the next chapter. Whatever Snips has planned, it's probably going to be very foolish.
Also, that snail cutie mark has several possible deeper meanings. I'm not sure which apply in this particular Equestria, but I'm sure that our hero/ine is much more capable than she thinks.
6277620
I broke the chapter somewhere different than I intended, but it works well as a cliffhanger because it lets me introduce White ("Whitey") Lightning without revealing how the meeting goes or exactly what Snips wants to do.
I see it as "perseverence" -- snails are slow but steady. Also, hidden power.
Wonder what Snip's plan is to celebrate their shared Stallionhood. I had thought it might involve prostitution, but now I'm thinking the other two possible stalliony things to do, hunt and kill something or get drunk.
I see both going very badly.
I kind of wish Snips and Snails had more characterization in canon now. Of course with a little imagination and character can become interesting.
That name, White Lightning, oh man is that ever great. He should hope that Equestria bans the booze, then he'd really be making money. I recently read a book on the history of moonshining that pointed how before Prohibition was passed, it cost $3.50 to make four gallons of hooch that sold for $8; a year after Prohibition passed, it sold for $88. And a few years later it went for several hundred dollars. That was before 'cutting' it to stretch the stuff out.
I ever send Silver John back to Equestria, I may have to have him meet the Whiteys if that was okay with you.
Great chapter and looking forward to the next one.
6280208
Why, thank you! I also connected the family with Summer Lightning, just to be cute (but also because they must have some Pegasus ancestors to produce Midge -- not sure if I mentioned it, but she's the only one of them not an Earth Pony, and Whitey and Evie are faithful to one another).
As I've mentioned, my Celestia is too smart to ever do that.
What the Lightnings are doing is tax evasion, actually. There is a liquor tax in Equestria -- not a huge one -- but it's spottily-enforced outside major towns, so they can make a decent profit by having their business officially not exist. Plus, that way they don't need to pay taxes in general past a minimum needed to avoid making it utterly obvious. That's pretty much what the Dukes from Dukes of Hazzard were doing, as well, though America has higher liquor taxes, fees, etc. etc.
They also have a fair amount of land (notice that they're a rich family by White Hollow standards) and engage in ordinary farming to some extent (though they also buy food for liquor or the money they make from directly selling such moonshine). The whole family helps in the business.
Yes, they're technically organized criminals. But about the nicest ones you'll ever encounter.
Much like the Dukes.
And yes, you can use them, and I think that John would get along okay with them.
6278597
It's not so much that they're going to get drunk.
It's where they're going to get drunk.
6280622 It's not so much that they're going to get drunk.
It's where they're going to get drunk.
And of course, where you wake up afterwards and what condition you're in.
6284149
Assuming they wake up at all, yes. Precisely.
img03.deviantart.net/fba0/i/2012/047/2/f/welcome_to_sunny_town_in_minecraft_by_firedra6on-d4pygnf.png
6285721 I'll assume that the Whiteys don't do things like 'stretch' their homebrew with rubbing alcohol like they did in Philly during Prohibition.
6286086
No, they don't want to poison their customers!
And now with names revealed, I'm wondering if Lightning Dust is at all loosely related to this family?
6827604
Maybe she is. I've already decided that Summer Lightning (from All The Way Back) is some sort of cousin of them, and Lightning Dust is also a Pegasus.
Don't weasels eat snails?
In any case, excellent demonstration of Snails at his best. He comported himself admirably... perhaps too much so. On the one hand, he dug Snails out of his pit. On the other, he may have just made himself look like a very eligible young stallion, which is a problem even before getting into how I should've been using female pronouns.
Also, excellent work in trying to make pony naming conventions make sense. A Herculean task if there ever was one.
7048362
Yes, they probably do. Weasels have fast metabolisms and will gladly eat anything high-protein. Though I don't think that being cannibalized is exactly the fate Snails should fear here.
Based on the combination of his vanilla-canon Humanoid analogue's portrayal and her Pony portrayal in Coming Out of Your Shell, I see Snails / Glitterhell as being the shyer, nicer and more considerate one of the Snips and Snails duo. Hence, socially Snails more likely to behave in a fashion which is perceived as mannerly than is Snips, which is exactly what happens here. The Lightnings know he's no genius, but they can also see that he's consistently trying to be nice to them, which wins him points with them.
Ermie, of course, is an extrovert --- but a moody, weird extrovert who likes prowling the woods hunting more than she likes interacting with most Ponies. She fears, with some justification, that others will make subtle fun of her and try to make her look stupid; the only way she knows how to deal with this is by displays of aggression, which tend to frighten away everypony, including those she would befriend. It's worse now that she has to deal with her Cycle and her desire for a colt-friend. She also, as we see here, is prone to impulsive crushes.
It says a lot of good things about Snails' character that -- once he gets somewhat used to her scarily-predatory nature, he worries about Snips hurting her feelings. Snips, by contrast, is such a fool that he fails to grasp that not only is he teasing the scary filly with all the traps, he's doing it right in front of her well-armed and technically-criminal family. Of whom she's the baby.
Snips is lucky that the Lightnings both have a good sense of humor, and regard him less as offensive than hilariously stupid. If I'd written this scene from Snails' perspective, you'd be privy to his thoughts about how he's going to socially-outmaneuver these rustic hicks. If I'd written it from Whitey's, it would be about what an amazing idiot Snips was and how Snails is a bit slow but good-hearted. Whitey and Evie actually wouldn't mind Snails courting Ermie, in part because they know that Snails could never push Ermie into doing anything she didn't want to do.
Of course, Glittershell couldn't like Ermie that way, because Glittershell is attracted to males. (Glittershell's life as a female sexual personality would be much easier if she were gay or bi). In fact, in this scene, Glittershell is mildly attracted to Stalky, something of which Stalky is probably unaware, save on the level of "Aw, that colt seems friendly, I bet he's nice.") Sneaky notices something odd about Snails' affect toward her twin brother, but isn't totally sure of what she's seeing. Sneaky is of an altogether unfriendlier and more suspicious turn of mind than is Stalky.
This doesn't mean that Glittershell couldn't like Ermie, as a friend. Or Ermie Glittershell, if Ermie didn't fall into the trap of hating her for not being what she wanted. Time will tell.
As is fairly obvious from the first chapter of the story, if Glittershell was gay or bi, she'd probably be in love with Sweetie Belle. As it is, Glittershell very much admires her.
The names in bold I'm not sure if they are right. Anyho, A very interesting family there, Snails held up well, but with this pair I'm sure that the alcohol they got will help them get into trouble. After all they where sober when they decided to wake up a baby star bear, and Snips here showed he hasn't gained much more sense over the years.
Wow. It's like Snips concentrates all of Trixie's worst aspects in one convenient package. The arrogance, the (attempts at) manipulation, revising his life to cast himself as the clever hero. He really learned all the worst lessons from her, though it's hardly fair to blame Trixie for the colts' current predicament. She'd probably be familiar enough with horror stories to know not to disturb the mysterious charms the local shaman strung around the dilapidated old signs, to say nothing of what typically befalls drunken teenagers in spooky woods.
Very interesting that Snails's two selves are getting different sensations from the direction of Sunny Town. I wonder what the story is there.
Here's hoping these two live to regret this.
7049603
Thank you for spotting that. It's an easy typo to make in a Snips-and-Snails conversation because of their similar-sounding names. You won't believe how many I combed out before I posted this chapter.
It's also about the most damaging typo I could make, in terms of destroying story comprehensibility, as the whole point of that scene is that they are dsagreeing.
7050054
Snips is in arrogant-mode, the more so because he failed twice, in front of Snails, when he was trying to impress Snails with his adult sophistication. "Third time the charm," he figures.
He's also right that if the animals are staying away from that place, it means they're probably safe from animal attack. He's not, however, bothering to consider that -- in a place like the Everfree -- he really should be considering just what is scaring off the animals, and how.
You make a good point about Snips learning all the wrong lessons from Trixie: copying her flaws rather than her virtues. Snails, on the other hand, has mostly been picking up on Trixie's skills.
Indeed. One of the best parts of Trixie's acts is her patter. She's a natural storyteller. She gets narrative causality, often to the point that she forgets about more ordinary logic. For instance, in All the Way Back, she's basically hoping for rescue because she figures she's the heroine or at worst a distressed damsel.
Snips does not realize that he is falling right into the role of victim of the horror in a horror story -- and dragging Snails right along with him.
*sigh* At least Snips had enough sense to not go into the village itself, that would make for a very short story indeed. And after towering demon lords, chaos spirits, a literal hell-hound, and two separate mad warlocks you would think the two of them would not so easily shrug off what Zecora has done.
As you said, animals are staying away from the place and worse, it's as quiet as a tomb which means that something dangerous is near enough that nothing mobile in hearing range is making noise, which is a bad sign in Earth's non-magical woods much less the Ever-free.
Here's hoping they aren't too traumatized if they survive this mess.
Hopefully it's actually Snips that laughs at him or if not then Snails/Glittershell has some much more deep seated issues
Also, I hope the village isn't one of Sunny Town's cousins?
I do like how you displayed the 'Whities' here, they have a real mountain folk feel to them that many writers usually blow pretty badly. Like by making them into either comic caricatures or rejects from a million or so 'Hillbilly Horror' films.
I also enjoyed reading about poor Snails' first experience with the white lightning. That looked a lot like what I've heard from friends and relations that actually did drink moonshine. Namely that it's got a real kick to it, and if you're lucky enough to find a careful brewer that's all it does to you.
7051151
(*sight*) The problem with writing Snips & Snails is the similarity of their names, which makes mistagging very easy.
It is Sunny Town. I just gave it an Early Modern English variant spelling. Why not? The town is contemporaneous with Luna's last decades before she became Nigthmare Moon.
7052149
They're basically meant to be people. Mostly rather nice people, considering that they are technically an organized criminal gang. They have quirks, in some cases serious flaws, but they're no monsters.
Thank you. I did research on the moonshine whiskey thing, and learned a few things about how it is made and how it differs from normal commercial whiskey. I'm glad that it came out believable.
Snips regarded him skeptically.
"Well," amended Snips, "they were very nice to me." He thought for a moment. "And in fact they did not harm you."
Snips stared at Snails. "Oh, Snails," he said sadly. "My friend. My poor, innocent friend. You're so lucky that you have me to protect you against the dangers and snares of the world." He looked down the road ahead. "Now we'd better hurry."
Sorry to be a pain, but is that supposed to be 'Snails' and not Snips in that second paragraph?
And now the story takes a turn towards horror! First the pony Abbott and Costello ignore some rather obvious warnings put up by Zecora. Really, she ought to just put up signs reading 'Stay away from the town full of murderous undead ponies'. And then they remove some protective charms and give said shpuks a free shot at them. This will not end well.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
7052190
Thank you, I fixed that typo. General problem with writing Snips and Snails dialogue is that their names are similar so it's easy to mis-tag.
Heh, did you know that I was thinking specifically of the Abbott and Costello horror comedies when I thought of this story?
Yeah, Sunny Town is not a good party town, especially as it's run by Worst Party Pony Ever!
7052190
Though of course, this story is going places that (thankfully) Abbott and Costello never went.
7050538
The story is, after all, entitled Fools and Drunks. So it's not entirely surprising that the main characters get drunk and do foolish things, is it?
Yes, Snips knows that Twilight respects Zecora, but fails to draw the logical conclusion that Zecora may know what she's doing. To be fair, Snips' knowledge of theoretical magic is very limited, so it doesn't occur to him that the charms may be warding against something. Or even that they are charms.
Snails' foolishness is more subtle. He tends to be submissive and willing to follow Snips. In general, both of them are willing to follow any strong personality who pays any positive attention to them, but Snails is more so that way.
7052348 Heh, did you know that I was thinking specifically of the Abbott and Costello horror comedies when I thought of this story?
That comparison works very well with Snips and Snails.
Yeah, Sunny Town is not a good party town, especially as it's run by Worst Party Pony Ever!
Indeed it isn't; though if Ruby tries helping S&S she may have a harder time of it then she did with 'Bloom.
Ah, alcohol. They call it social lubricant, but as you noted, it's a solvent at higher concentrations. Good thing it dissolved Snips's consciousness before it finished eating through Glittershell's inhibitions.
Of course, there are rather more pressing problems right now, like impending death by Luna-cursed zombies. I just hope Snails can process that before it's too late.
Also, it seems like Ruby somehow detected the mental shift from Glittershell to Snails. If that's the case, it's very interesting indeed.
7056398
Yes. Normally Glittershell would have more common sense (and be too shy, as well) than to steal a kiss from Snips. And Snips would never have said the thing which he did to trigger that kiss.
Snails really does have trouble saying 'no' to Snips. Or anypony whom he really likes a lot. He's a natural follower.
This could get him in a lot of trouble. Come to think of it, right now Snails is in a lot of trouble, no hypothetical about it!
Yes, receiving a warning from a friendly ghost was not what Snails expected at this point. Not that he's grasped that this is what Ruby is yet. Neither that she's friendly, nor a ghost.
I hope you liked her entrance. I thought about the physics of Ruby (and the other Wraiths) a bit before writing this chapter. She normally drains ambient energy from her surroundings to manifest -- that's why she radiates chilling cold -- and to feed she drains life from living things (which injures or kills them). Because Ruby is good, she does not intentionally harm sapients -- but she could do so by accident, as she did to Chiller Tale some five hundred and eighty-four years ago. Such an accident would be most likely to occur if strong passions were roused in her, causing her to lose emotional self-control.
Ruby is really neither the girl nor the walking charred horror. She's really a sapient vortex of psycho-kinetic energy -- a soul manifesting in our world without a real body to house it. And this is true of all the spirits of Sunney Towne. Like all ghosts, though much more powerful than most.
Her mind is that of a rather bright, nice teenaged filly, though. One who has died, and been undead for over a thousand years, experiencing strange and diverse things, most of it in a sort of waking dream-state. She has to focus mentally in order to interact meaningfully in an intellectual sense with mortals.
Ruby is very focused right now, more so than she was the first time she saw Apple Bloom (her waking dream-state was why she drew Apple Bloom in without considering the consequences)..
Unfortunately, Snails is right now in something of a waking dream-state. And isn't as focused as Apple Bloom even when he's sober.
Ruby can see Snails/Glittershell both in the normal way (when her eyes are manifested), and she can see his soul. Or her soul. And right now Snails/Glittershell is gender-confused, so his soul's sex can shift without warning. That's something new, even for Ruby.
On the plus side, Snips falling asleep before Snails outed herself may be a good thing. On the negative he just passed out in the worst place and at the worst time; Snails has to drag him to safety.
On the double plus side at least they are near the main path, unlike poor Apple Bloom so there isn't that far to go. On the negative again, the only one who can walk... well even at his best isn't the most coordinated, and being very drunk isn't going to help. Here's hoping He doesn't run in the wrong direction.
7056398 Don't be silly they won't kill the two Stallions, they'll just introduce them to a new kind of party... yeah that's what will happen....
7056468 I really like the thought you put into the whys and wherefores of Ruby and the Sunny Towners. And the confusion and, yes, liquor-induced stupidity does sound a lot like some stories I heard from older relations about their younger days. Though none of them had to deal with angry ghosts. So far as I know, anyway!
I was unfamiliar with the details of Story of the Blanks until now. I was unprepared for the evil zombie party pony, a concept that terrifies me on multiple levels, especially given the Shadows' involvement. Bad enough to be host to a malignant, alien evil. Worse to retain your sense of fun.
Great work with establishing the sense of tension and suspense. Definitely looking forward to more.
Well, it looks like it won't be so easy to escape as first though. And we haven't seen Starlet and Romeo so that's 2 wraith's missing thank goodness. Hmmm... Is Gladstone Ruby's Half-brother? Was Three Leaf Gray Hoof's first wife?
Hopefully Snips can sober up a bit so Snails isn't burdened by carrying him around. And Hopefully Snips can also fight off the Geas as well.
The only think worse then the normal Undead, are Undead that can use skills they had in life. I think Pinkie, Cheese or Party Favor would be horrified If they saw what Grey Hoof has done to his gift. I mean how can you kill your own child and then burn her remains in a fire...
Just one last thought, how do you turn or fight a Wraith anyway?
7066237
Well, it looks like it won't be so easy to escape as first though
(*nods*) Mostly because of Snips' self-incapacitation. He also wasted a lot of time making crude speculations about Ruby. Really, he's lucky that Ruby's motivation isn't at all about liking him personally, and is all about general moral decency and trying to lighten the load of sins committed by her kin.
All through this story, Snips imagines that he is more competent and worldly than Snails, but it is actually Snails who winds up being liked by the friendly Ponies they encounter, while Snips is no more capable of dealing with the hostile ones, and in some ways considerably less competent. Snails' flaw, though, is that he is a natural follower. Snips can get him to do things. Including his better judgement.
They were presumably somewhere else at the time. Possibly, given their motivations, keeping company with one another.
Which is good for Snips and Snails. Starlet and Roneo are fairly dangerous Wraiths. Neither has as much raw power as does Grey Hoof, but Starlet is fast on her hooves, while Roneo can create duplicate energy forms of himself. They're also among the more aggressive inhabitants of Sunney Town.
Sort of like that.
Originally, back in Pietown, the little social circle around Grey Hoof consisted of Starshine, Three Leaf, and Mitta Gift. Starshine was the oldest and MItta the youngest. Starshine was beautiful, classy and hit her cycles first. Grey Hoof had a huge crush on her, but lacked the confidence to court her.
Three Leaf had a huge crush on Grey Hoof. She more or less gave herself to him and wound up pregnant. But she knew he still loved Starshine, and more than her, so she refused to marry him and had Gladstone on her own, not naming the sire. Three Leaf was seriously eccentric to begin with, so though this behavior met disapproval, nopony actually interfered.
Grey Hoof got up the courage and successfully courted Starshine. They were married: Starlet was the result. However, Starshine died of a plague, and Grey Hoof was bereaved. At this time, Three Leaf was still angry with Grey Hoof, and so she didn't want to marry him. Starshine, note, was never cursed; she Passed On peacefully.
Mitta Gift had loved Grey Hoof all this time, and she consoled him. Grey Hoof fell in love with Mitta Gift, married her, and Ruby was the result. Soon after, Grey Hoof wound up the leader of Sunney Town.
And then came Ruby getting her Cutie Mark, Grey Hoof concluding that the plague was back, and Grey Hoof killing Ruby. That probably would have put an end to Grey Hoof and Mitta's marriage even if this didn't all become moot by Ruby's friend at Court going mad and killing the whole town.
After that, of course, they were all dead -- and cursed, And Mitta didn't like Grey Hoof any more. Mitta spent most of her time with her daughter Ruby, and Three Leaf took pity on Grey Hoof and took him back as her lover. That's worked out fairly well, for cursed Wraith versions of "fairly well," between Three Leaf and Grey Hoof.
Yeah, it's fricken almost Dark Shadows level of soap opera.
So in consequence, Gladstone, Starlet and Ruby Gift are all half-siblings to one another.
7066237
It has occurred to me that Snips is going to wake up to one hell of a surprise.
SNIPS: Wow, Snails, I had this crazy dream. There was this hot babe, well she was kind of young but also pretty hot, and I think she liked you because her family was going to kill us because you hit on her and then she turned into a skeleton and ...
SNAILS: Yeah, Snips, that wasn't exactly a --
RUBY: Oh, 'tis well. You've awoken.
SNIPS: AAAAHHH!!!!
Happily, Snips probably won't remember that Snails kissed him.