I can really see an improvement in this. Good job!

i think splitting these 2 chapters out made this story much better than just cramming it up into one chapter. props to you

HUZZAH! A victory for the literary world. I don't normally get this worked up about a fanfic, but I LOVE the new direction this is taking. I can see a marked improvement on the original and I think it is FANTASTIC. I salute you fellow author, you are a great writer.

When is the next chapter coming out. I am loving this character development and the installation of Luna as a mentor. You have crafted all of my favourite things from these stories (Fanshipping, Trixie, Luna and lightheartedness) into a single story. I think if Hasbro don't instantly hire you as a script writer they have missed a trick. I eagerly await chapter three.

Yes, this is definitely better than it was before. The pacing and buildup is much better, and Trixie's change of attitude seems to be better explained. Bravo.

>>587220587220

Thank you so much :) That makes me want to write a lot more and a lot sooner! Don't worry, the next chapter should be out by the end of the week, as long as I'm not to busy with school :) Glad you like it!

Nice, great improvements! Though there were a few minor spelling error, but great nevertheless!

Love it, continue!

love the story alot, but you might want to get a pre reader i saw a few spelling mistakes. also good job with the devolpment of trixie and luna they are two of my fave's, good luck and keep up the good work!

Ooh, hostile Twilight.

good third chapter, i enjoyed it very much. also i found twhilight's reaction intreging i've never seen it done like that.

Hmm, interesting. I'd classify Twilight's reaction as OOC. Also, there are a large number of spelling mistakes throughout the story ("earn" instead of "earth," "reviled" instead of "revealed"). A proofreader would really help. Still, I'll continue following. Because hay, it's Twixie. And Twixie is best shipping.

More! I demand MORE!

Looks pretty good so far. I'm going to keep an eye on it for right now.

good stuff

good stuff

Please please please write more. I love the story so far, stories that present Trixie in a different light are awesome and I especially love your story So please write more

favorited and liked

moar moar moar

The truth hurts.  Trixie just realized what she has become.  Now how does she deal with that...and the fact she likes Twilight's mane.

I like where this story is going.  Too bad it's on hiatus.

Interesting.  Very interesting.  Twilight is still pissed at Trixie for what she did.  Their interaction will be very interesting indeed.

Now we just have to wait for the next chapter (whenever that will be.)

Keep it up. Why do I like Twilight shipping so much?

Too bad it's been so long since a new chapter's been put up.

Okay, I know Trixie has a new episode and doesn't fit the profile you're giving her in this story, but keep it up. I love a good romance story and what you've got here is realy good.

so uh what happened to you?

>>24780642478064

I just didn't feel like writing. Took some time to myself and Twitter. Finally felt like writing again and finished the chapter.

>>24781042478104 well... points for honesty and i likethechapter

To be honest, I can't even remember this story till now.

But ... uh ... nice, You continue it.

This chapter definitely needs some proofreading. I've gone through and noted the major errors here, though some of these errors are repeated throughout the chapter. What you wrote is in italics, suggested changes follow, and specific changes are in bold.

"After last nights good sleep,..."

"After last night's good sleep,..."

"Every little bit there were different doors that lead toward different rooms."

"Every little bit" is a strange way to express this idea, and I'm not even sure it's grammatically sound. Try: "There were doors every couple of strides on both sides of the hallway, each leading toward a different room."

"This defiantly wasn't the real library of the castle."

"This definitely wasn't the real library of the castle."

"There was a pile of small books piled in one corner and another in the middle of the room."

"There was a small pile of books piled in one corner and another in the middle of the room."

Unless, of course, you were actually talking about small books in a pile.

"Trixie had wide eyes."

"Trixie looked at the room with wide eyes."

The way you phrased it, it seems more like a statement about how Trixie's eye's are normally, like she just happened to be born with eyes that are wider than normal. It's technically correct, but the more common way of phrasing it would be the way I typed it out.

"The magical azure unicorn..."

"Magical unicorn" is a bit redundant.

"Finally after trotting down the final hall,..."

She finally got to the final step of her final journey down the final hall... etc. Try:

"After finally reaching the end of the hall."

"Trixie found herself outside the Night Princesses private quarters."

"Trixie found herself outside the Night Princess's private quarters."

Unless there is more than one Princess of the Night in your story. You can also say (and I would encourage it) Princess'. When a word that already ends in an 's' is made possessive, it's acceptable to drop the 's' after the apostrophe.

"'Be calm, Trixie. I simply heard some noise so I came over to see what was the cause of it.' Celestia replied looking around the room."

"'Be calm, Trixie. I simply heard some noise so I came over to see what was the cause of it,' Celestia replied, looking around the room."

The bit after the dialogue is still part of the same sentence as the dialogue. That means that the dialogue should end in a comma instead of a period. Also, you need a comma after "Celestia replied," as that probably counts as an introductory element (see rule #3 of The Egghead's Guide to Commas).

"'It was different sleeping in a castle...' She paused, 'But it was nice.'"

"'It was different sleeping in a castle...' she paused, 'but it was nice.'"

The "she paused" is part of the same sentence. When you have an interruption in the middle of a sentence of dialogue, you don't need to capitalize the first word when the dialogue picks back up. I skipped most of the other dialogue punctuation errors, just check out my guide, here: Egghead's Guide to Punctuating Dialogue.

You're eyes do not fool you.

I'm assuming this is a joke.

A new chapter?  I so thought this was another dead Twixie story.  I am so glad it's not.

WELCOME BACK!

This may not have much views, but I assure you, I LOVE this. It's awesome, and you've got a follower.

Yay! It's alive

I thought this was another twixie fic that had disappeared into the ether

>>24783052478305

As much as I appreciate the help. I'm not going for a flawless story here. I like to write but I don't take it that seriously to make all those small "not-so-important" changes. As for the authors note part, that was just my bad.

months ago when you said ch4 was coming on sunday i couldnt wait but then it never came...till now! glad youre back!