When You Invite Someone to Dinner, Take Their Dietary Needs into Account
Dinner was strange that night, both by his own perception and in the eyes of those who saw him in the dining hall. Ted had chosen a bench amongst his followers, seeing as the throne really didn't allow for communal dining. The meal was good, a mix of meats and exotic vegetables he'd come to expect with their locally gathered supplies, the atmosphere was interesting, as the followers were happily chattering away. The only oddity in the scene was the queen, who currently had her nose buried in his shoulder.
He'd almost called her on it, strange as it was to him, but he decided against it. Taking another bite of the latest creation of the resident chef, he looked down at the shape shifter breathing deeply beside him, wings fluttering every now and again. Technically, he'd invited her to dinner, and currently, they were both eating. Her meal merely happened to be the emotions that he radiated. Chewing on the thought as well as his meal, he finished both and decided to start now.
"Would you mind taking your nose out of my shoulder long enough to engage in a dinner conversation?" Ted asked her. His presence at a table usually led to a quieter table as it was, and the odd actions of the queen wasn't helping ease the followers who were sitting with him. "I know you don't actually need to be that close to feed."
The queen opened the eye facing towards the table slowly, almost lazily casting her vision upon those also eating. Her attention left many shifting uncomfortably, most not knowing much about her. "They don't want to talk to me, and besides, what would I say to them? It would be a waste of time and effort." She said, dismissing his request and leaning back into his shoulder.
Ted shook his head in exasperation. Shifting slightly to warn her, he rose and headed back to the buffet, restocking his plate and retrieving a smaller plate with various small portions. Returning to his seat, he set the extra plate in front of the queen and proceeded to take a bit of his second dish of the day, a meat patty of some sort with a vegetable blend. Seeing the queen staring at the plate in confusion, he went forward with the plan.
"Changelings can eat solid foods as well, correct?" He asked her.
"Well, yes. How would changelings keep their cover if they were never seen eating?" The queen asked him, not quite getting where he was going with his idea.
"Then try this." The alicorn said, tapping a fork on her plate. "Tell me what you think of it, what you taste, what you find is better, that kind of thing."
Pandinus stared at the plate for a few moments. "This food doesn't do anything for me, you realize that right? I mean, yes I can taste it, it makes it easier to fit in if you can say things like 'This muffin tastes like strawberries'. It would give us away if we ended up saying something like 'This tastes like happiness and excitement' don't you think?" Seeing Ted raise an eyebrow in response she frowned, before scowling at him. "This is one of those cultural things isn't it?"
"It's not just my people, Din. From what I've seen, most species consider dinner conversations polite." The stallion grinned at her. "Even if you're feeding off of one of your conversation partners. Think of it as training in politics. If you want to your hive to keep having access to easily shared emotion, you need to learn how to make these connections."
The shape shifter scoffed. "If such things were important, my mother would have told me of them, don't you think?"
"So your mother anticipated you coming into the care of an alicorn? Of changelings being allowed to wander a small town undisguised?" Ted asked with a smile. "The world changes around us even as we speak, Din. We adapt to it, or we are left behind. My people adapted to a hostile world, learning to become just as vicious as the world we were born on. When the world changed again, with no real predators to hunt us, we adapted again, doing our best to overcome the aggression that had been part of our survival for so long. Yes there are failures, but we learn more from those than our victories. I mean, Mirage noticed my presence despite my use of the shadows to mask my physical presence, but since I had no trouble with her, I didn't think much of it when I went into your old nest. After you knocked me out, the ability of changelings to see me despite my abilities was slapped in my face." Nudging the queen with a wing he spoke again. "Now try something. Besides, I may need someone to speak with others in my stead, and a changeling queen has much more impact then a fluffy unicorn diplomat."
Still scowling, but now aiming her glare at the plate, the queen lifted a large chunk of some pastry to her face with her magic before taking a large bite of the item before chewing loudly, crumbs flying from her as she ground the hapless snack up in her teeth. Tilting her head as she allowed herself to actually taste the item, the others at the table jumped when she hacked up the mess back onto her plate.
"It wasn't bad, kind of sweet, fluffy. A dessert, correct? Meant to be enjoyed after the meal?" At the alicorn's dumbfounded expression she merely stared back at him. "What?"
"We've got a long way to go..." Ted mumbled to himself with a tired expression, rubbing his muzzle with a hoof.
<-(0)->
"I really don't understand what the big deal is." Pandinus said, irritable after the meal/lesson in manners. "It's not like my body can process it, so what's the point of keeping the food inside? I already enjoyed the taste, which is all I can do with it anyway."
"I've told you similar things already, Din. It's about perception. Did you sense the disgust from those around you when you spat the cake back onto your plate? Many species only do such a thing when the food is either rancid or they become sick. As you've seen, we impose our own ideas of what is normal upon those around us. That's why they looked at you like that, and it's why it would be better if you kept the food inside until after your meal. Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Well, not really, but I can get a bit bloated if I eat too much solid food. That entire experience was strange, and now I feel heavy." The queen said while poking a spot just under where a pony's ribs would end. "I don't think I've ever actually ate things like that just because I could. It was weird."
"I know it was weird, but thanks for sticking with it." Ted said with a smile. "We'll make a proper lady out of you yet."
The shape shifter stopped, looking at him with a confused expression. "Why would I want that?" She asked "How would that help me? Mother never mentioned these 'manners' you seem so obsessed with."
Ted stopped as well, wracking his brain for a way to make this appeal to Din. "It's, manners are about influencing how others perceive you. If you carry yourself higher, if you speak clearly and are polite or don't resort to violence the moment others act in ways you don't like, others will think you are better educated, they'll put more weight behind your words as they think the one speaking knows what they're talking about. I, ah! Think of it as a deceptive ploy. You're pretending to be more important than you are, and it makes others assume you have more power than you actually have. It's a type of bluff."
"A bluff? I suppose that would make sense." She said, raising a hoof to her chin.
"Oh, here's a good chance, when you're introduced, say 'It's a pleasure to meet you.'" Ted whispered to the queen, before turning his full attention to the pair coming down the hallway.
Gleam walked slowly beside the older griffon, both speaking sedately as they walked to the dining hall. Just shy of a collision, the unicorn mare noticed the alicorn and changeling, jumping slightly at the unexpected proximity. "Oh, Father! I was just looking for you. Lady Thrisha here would like a word with you."
"Of course, I trust things are being properly settled for your people?" He said, directing his attention to the griffon.
"Better than I'd hoped after the disaster that had befallen us, Lord Cimmerian." Thrisha replied with a wan smile. Turning her attention to the changeling, she asked "Who might this be? I don't remember ever reading of a changeling of such stature before."
"Ah, allow me to introduce to you Queen Pandinus, a changeling queen." Ted announced, directing a hoof to the queen.
"It, it's a pleasure to m-meet you." Pandinus managed to say, repeating the bow she'd seen the alicorn and griffon give each other earlier.
The elder hen nodded. "The pleasure is mine. If you wouldn't mind, lord, I would like a chance to speak with you when you have the time, as well as a chance to speak with a member of your local hive." Thrisha gave the queen a bright smile. "It sets my mind at ease knowing that I was right in assuming there was more to your people than the mindless creatures that drove us from our homes."
"That's fine, I'd be happy to speak with you. The library is this way." He said, leading the group onwards.
"Father," said Gleam, "I'm going to visit the dining hall and get a meal. I'll be there for a while if you need anything from me." With a bow, the unicorn mare excused herself.
The journey to the library was uneventful, the alicorn and griffon partaking in idle chatter on the way. Upon reaching the library, the group claimed a small table, Pandinus once more claiming a spot by the alicorn's side.
"The first thing I'd like to ask, if it's not too much trouble, is what you were discussing with Queen Pandinus?" Thrisha asked with a grin. "I'd also like to speak with her about the attack."
"That would be up to her." Ted said, a kind smile on his own face. "As for what we were discussing? I could say it wasn't important, but suffice to say we were discussing furthering her education."
"In what, might I ask? Math, Arts, Military movements?"
The alicorn shook his head. "Manners, actually."
Thrisha looked from Ted to Pandinus, then back to Ted before frowning in confusion. "I don't understand, she seems well mannered to me. She held herself well as far as I could tell, and while she sounded a little nervous, I suppose I would be as well after such a formal introduction. Especially if I was used to a more relaxed setting."
Pandinus just stared at the elderly griffon, her jaw hanging open. Ted however started chuckling at the observation, turning to the changeling. "There's an old saying back home, Din. 'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then open your mouth and remove all doubt.' Silence alone can get you through some strange situations, as it leaves those around you to make their own assumptions about you based only on what they see. If I were to wander through a major city held by the Mad Queen and not interact with anyone, her subjects would make their own assumptions about me based on what they know. Some may call me a monster, based on my eyes and coloration, others may call me a god based on how some ponies seem to deify alicorns. Another good one to keep in mind in strange situations is 'when in doubt, pretend to know what you're doing.'"
The griffon's gaze passed between the two several times. "I don't understand. What am I missing?"
"Pandinus has no education in regards to how to carry herself around others, be they her subordinates, her equals, or her superiors." Ted said. "I ask, of course, that you keep this to yourself, though honestly it shouldn't be surprising to anyone. Can you tell me, Lady Thrisha, the last time any country sent a diplomat to speak to a changeling queen? We were just discussing the subject of manners, starting with table manners. After all, the rules are changing, right Din?"
The queen for her part was still staring at the griffon, still processing the fact that a single phrase had so easily swayed the elder female's opinion. Turning to Ted she spoke surprisingly quietly. "It matters that much?"
Realizing what may have been going through the queens mind, Thrisha responded first. "It does. How we perceive others is very important. The saying 'you don't get a second chance to make a first impression' is not just a silly phrase." She smiled at the changeling. "If you would be willing, I'd be happy to teach you a few things I remember from my time amongst pony nobles, as well as a few griffon customs. It may help you, as I can even explain to you why some things are so important. All I ask is that you entertain this old hen's questions every now and again."
"I was going to ask what your goals with the beings in this temple were, but after your display at the entrance of the Temple, I think my fears in that regard are settled." The hen said to Ted.
Rubbing his right fetlock over his left leg Ted chuckled nervously. "I uh, I'm still not sure where it came from. I'm not one for impromptu songs."
The griffon cackled at his response, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "Oh, trust me, dear, it showed. The lyrics were inspired, as to be expected of a heart-song, but your singing left something to be desired Nevertheless, I was honored to be able to witness such a thing. I think the last heart-song was about fifteen years ago, at least according to what I've heard. There was a mare that easily began them, often expanding them to include her entire village from what I've heard, but she's since gone missing. After so long without hearing of her, I can only assume the worse."
Smiling at the good natured jab, Ted made his way over to a section of the library while the griffon gathered her thoughts in preparation of playing twenty questions with the nervous changeling. Finding the book he was looking for, he pulled it free in his magical grip and brought it to the table.
"Din, do you know how to read?" He asked in a whisper at the mare's ear. At her nod he set the book on the table between the two. "Then I think this will explain some things. Just don't try them on me without warning me first, it's a good way to lose someone's respect, and I'm sure Lady Thrisha would be happy to back me up on this, maybe even explain the times such tactics would be used. I'm going to go visit the children and head to bed. Good night, ladies."
As the alicorn walked out the door, Pandinus just looked at the book he'd left before her.
Politics for Derps: Using Words to Seize the Advantage.
Lady Thrisha took one look at the book and broke into laughter. "Stars help us, an empathic politician! Armageddon truly is upon us."
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6265686 I actually looked it up on google, and peace was the one that came up. I know, "Google? Are you serious?" But it's worked in the past for odd turns of phrase.
6265693 I think Google derped on statements such as 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' and so didn't respond adequately.
This was enjoyable to read!
6265201 Oh okay, thanks for the help. I was more lost then a hippie at a hunting convention!
great chapter as always, just wondering how the bloody hell you lick your own horn, let alone the reasoning behind doing it and why it would be done in public
And the updates are back!
kickass!! an update so soon?
Is it my birthday or something?
For a minute there, it looked like Ted was going to have to start bringing a spray bottle, and rolled up newspaper to Huggle-Buzz's lessons.
She handled herself alright with Thrisha.
Timeline established for the disappearance of Pinkie Pie?
I loved that book title, great moment.
6265869 I have no intention of doing that very often, I just figured I'd give it a shot and if it worked, great. If not, it was an experiment and was fun to write.
6265716 I honestly feel like that's cheating a bit. I want to use a few songs like that, but not here, not on my best story.
6265813 Changeling queens have very long tongues.
Your story is great, but the longer it takes to get to the rescue of the alicorns and the mane six--- and twilight--- the more it breaks my heart. It's really telling to read how their world pines for them after they're gone...
Interesting, in many other stories changelings required both love and solid food. And if they did not require solid food, they would convert it into the goo stuff. Ted also had Pan drink a glass of water once, do they need that? Interesting view of things. Love is converted directly into changeling mass.
Is there supposed to be a period here? I have noticed some strange capitals throughout all the chapters.
Ted seems to moving into that role Celestia played for so long. I am questioning wether this is something a person working towards a degree in Criminal Law would be good with. Unless Luna's memories are still leaking, just it is a lot more subtle. That brings a whole other list of issues.
I see no problem with this.
Or this.
"Stars help us, an empathic politician! Armageddon truly is upon us."
Great line.
great chapter as always and leaves me wanting more. it's nice to see ted showing and explaining things din about how most other species see things. hope she'll do the same and show him how changelings see things. plus hopefully they can get their relationship moving in the right direction with out someone almost killing themselves. Although what she did by extracting love from herself shows to me that she really dose wants a serous relationship with ted she just has no clue how to go about it.
also like how ted is starting military training. but if I was him everyone would go though at lest basic combat training specially with what he's learned about how the mad queen is using the changelings in a zerg rush strategy at lest.
A book called Using Words To Sieze The Advantage?
Isnt that the Corporal Carrot method?
I really hope Pinkie got out of there before she ended up stoned.
So... do changelings not need water or something?
Ok... now this might take a while...
*20 chapters later*
Finally! its over
Ted: now onto reading!
...
*leaves room and slams door*
*20 minutes later*
*walks back in and continues reading*
... did I really write this?
yeah the changelings were to busy surviving and they weren't living if you know what i mean you can't buy love at grocery store
6266098 you see, pinkie can break laws of time and space just to be there for a party or something funny. So, petrified or not, she's fine. NO ONE CAN KILL PINKIE!
6265693 Doesn't speak your peace, mean feel free to speak freely?
Anyways, great chapter! I loved the sing last chapter, and you are getting amazing and cute and cuddly scenes!
Might wanna keep an eye on those "you're"s.
6265856
Not likely since she is the Bearer of Laughter and all of the Bearers are being used to power the arrays containing Celestia and Luna who have been imprisoned longer than 15 years. My money would be on Cadence, the Alicorn of Love. Heart Songs seem like they would fall under her purview.
Wait, how was din not taught manners if it's so important in getting love? Did her hive never forsee a queen interacting with anything other than changelings? If so, why was she still not taught to copy the culture of nearby species so every member of her species could blend in more easily? It's both easy to implement and really important, and I don't see any reason why it wouldn't happen.
Darkwraith!
thanks for the update!!
6266622 Why yes, yes I did.
And you're the first to spot it, have a cookie! Well, you can have one as soon as I figure out how to send one through my computer screen without breaking either the screen or the cookie.
6266670 Not like she needs to eat that stuff right?
6266680
Oh, absolutely. It makes complete and total sense when looked at from her perspective, which is the best part about it. Now that she's getting some serious character development, that mixture between "reticent child" and "space bug" you're starting to establish is really working for her.
6266654 You should have called Temporal Flux, Flux Capacitor instead, now that would have been reason for a laughing fit! XD
When the storm passes Ted should take HuggleBuzz to the beach and do some more statue shooting with her
But muffins do taste like happiness and exci– I mean I wouldn't know. *insert nervous laugh here*
Welp, Ted has called upon the end of the world by accident. By being him self and helping Queen Huggle Buzz. That's what? The third time?
There's a couple of your-s that should be you're-s.
Your is the possessive, you're is the contraction of 'you are'.
For ease of reference I tend to think 'you are' in my head, then type the contraction.
I lost it here.
6265940
Oh my...
(I wonder if Ted even knows about that?)
6266422
You'd think the wings and horn would also be mentioned in that recalled memory? Not too many alicorns running about and for all we know, Cadance took her kingdom and warped out of sight like Sombra did when he poofed with the crystal ponies. But that's a best situation. A darker one is Nightmare Twilight turning it and everyone in the Crystal Kingdom to stone/crystal or forcefully banishing the place. I have a feeling that the crystal ponies would fight to the last before they'd submit again to a tyrant.
Still, the mystery mare could just be some typical background pony mentioned in history's footnotes.
6266112
Probably not, considering they technically running on magic.
Also, can we have a princesses episode soon? Or maybe one with the Mad Queen?
6266949 We have no leads on Cadence at this point and nobody has mentioned the Crystal Empire disappearing. If Cadence had managed to avoid the Queen for a couple decades she would have had to be using some kind of disguise.
Oh, Pinkie Pie...
Nitpicks:
This needs either an "and" or a semicolon instead of a comma after
"interesting"[edit: "supplies"].you're
Or
pony's
where
mare's
6267158
Didn't Luna and Celestia mention pink feathers during one of the dream sequences? I thought those belonged to Cadence...
6269899 They mentioned the Queen having some as 'proof' that she'd beaten Cadence but we never found out the timing of that incident or the ultimate fate of Cadence post encounter.
6269899 6266949 remember Tyrant Twi brought Celestia a feather. Apparently Cadance (to paraphrase) "has finally been 'broken'" by Nightmare!Twi
I thought it was a poem not a song. Was good as a poem too.
6266444 Seems more likely to me that Din would have been taught some form of manners, but Nightmare Twilight wrecked everything before she had the chance to learn as such from her mother. She was half-feral pretty much when Ted found her, after all.
On that note, between the cuddling into Ted in public and complete lack of knowledge about social niceties, I daresay Pan is quickly turning into an adorkable Changeling!
Huh. I just realized that I don't like this anymore. It's not your writing, but the plot is just not doing it for me anymore. Just thought you should know why I am un-favouring this story. The fact that I haven't wanted to read the four chapters after this really brought it home. I still like it though, so the like will stay.
6268751
Nitpicking your nitpicks:
Incorrect. The last part of that sentence is a dependent clause and needs neither a conjunction nor a semicolon; it works fine as-is. The place a colon belongs is in the place of the first comma. in addition, that is a run-on sentence, and should be refactored into two sentences, instead.
Alternatively, the "as" can be cut out instead, causing the clause to gain its independence, though I would then suggest it be a separate sentence, like so:
Lastly, the "were" can be cut out, as well, making it a dependent clause again, like so:
I'm torn, if to associate Lady Thrisha's voice to either Yubaba of Spirited Away or old version Sofie from Howl's Moving Castle, both sound nice to represent an elderly hen whose very wise yet wily for her years.
Pandinus doesn't understand the value in understanding non-changeling perspectives, which has led to some great characterization... except, as ArtichokeLust pointed out, it doesn't really make any sense. Understanding other perspectives is absolutely vital to a hive's continued existence. They're changelings, they need to be able to blend in to not drawn suspicion to themselves, and disguising their appearance is necessarily going to be only one part of doing so successfully.
Is there a good explanation for this that I'm just missing? I hope so. I'd love for you to be able to explain to me that I'm being an idiot and give me a perfectly good reason why.