...Is Wracked with Pain
"Father? Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but we seem to have an issue." A male voice cut into his sleep, then his skull. Ted slowly opened an eye, only to flinch and hiss at the light filtering in through the windows. His movement earned a second hiss of displeasure from somewhere behind him, whatever was on his back latching on tighter before burying its snout in his fur to avoid the sunlight.
"Close the curtains. And get me some water." He croaked out. The sound of trotting hooves on the floor was thankfully muffled by the carpeting surrounding the bed when the stallion passed nearest the bed, but soon the clip clop returned, jamming nails into his skull. The light receded, before the ungodly noise receded as well, leaving the alicorn to doze off once more, massaged by the light buzzing purr on his back.
A Thought pierced the veil of fatigue that had gripped him. 'When did I get a cat?'
Soon the clip clop returned, followed by a too-loud voice. "I brought the water you requested, father." The voice punctuated its statement by slamming a large pitcher on a desk beside the bed. Before Ted could berate the idiot for yelling when he had a headache, another, much louder hiss came from his back, followed by what sounded like someone hocking a loogie. Immediately, there was a panicked stumbling and muffled screaming, which only irritated him and his cat more.
Opening his eyes, he caught a glimpse of Swift Service rolling around on the ground, a large blob of some goop stuck to his face. The Pegasus was valiantly attempting to remove the substance, but was having no luck whatsoever.
'That looks like that stuff the changelings... oh.' Turning around, he was greeted by the sight of a changeling queen using him as a teddy bear.
'That's right, I don't have a cat. I had a dog back home anyway. Dogs are better.'
"Pandinus." He received no response. "Din, take that stuff off him, or at least make sure he can breath."
Her response was to burrow further into his neck, mumbling "Bright lights, loud sounds, they hurt us."
"Pan, he's going to suffocate. Take it off."
Grumbling, the queen lifted her head and focused on the flailing stalling, flash-hardening the paste into a resin, before gripping the resin in her magic and slamming the stallions face into the bricks of the floor. The resin shattered, and the servant took a deep, gasping breath, even as his eyes rolled from the impact. Ted almost laughed at the comical sight, settling for a simple smile, gripping the pitcher in his aura and taking a few deep swigs. Satisfied, he went to put it back, only to have it snatched by a grey burning aura that brought it to the queen.
"If you spill any of that on me I'll throw you out the window." Turning to the recovered Pegasus, he settled back down on the bed. "Please be more quiet when most of the Temple has a hangover, ok? Now for what reason are you waking me up at this ungodly hour?"
"Actually, Sir, it's past lunch time, and the issue is your uh, dragon friend. We found out where he disappeared to last night." Swift tried to explain.
"...And?"
The Pegasus shuffled nervously "He seems to have managed to lodge himself into one of the watch towers on the roof."
Ted blinked at the Pegasus, attempting to picture the drake packed into one of the half-crumbled towers. It was funny, but it also raised several questions. First, what possessed Sahkest to try that, and second, how the hell would they get him out without destroying the damn thing?
Resigning himself to his fate, Ted slowly rose from his sheets, the muffled complaints from Pandinus as she tumbled off of his back and attempted to make herself comfortable without her source of heat being dutifully ignored. "Fine, I'm up. Send for a keg of water, some pain killers, one of the gems from the treasury, and some cooking oil. I'll *yawn* take a look at the damage."
The Pegasus saluted before rushing off to gather the materials. Ted started towards the door, before casting one last longing glance at his bed.
"Life sucks." He muttered, walking out into the halls.
<-(0)->
"How the hell did he manage this?" Ted asked softly, squinting in the midday light. The towers were more like additional rooms with an entrance and raised windows for observation, but they were part of the original construction and had their uses. The dragons tail and a wing were poking out the entrance and a window, but the rest of the drake was obscured by his chosen hiding spot. Truthfully, the damage didn't seem to bad, but the alicorn could see the drake possible ripping through the already weakened roof of the structure if he flinched from the pain of the sunlight. It was why he'd sent a passing Pegasus for a few large leaves and Grift. The changeling would be able to fasten the leaves to the dragons eyes, preventing any bad endings for the tower, and then they'd wake him up.
At least that was the plan. The dragon was comatose, and no amount of prodding was moving him. Even yelling and a swift buck to the nose by a Pegasus did nothing to rouse the drake. So Ted decided to proceed without his help. Turning to his gathered workers he made sure everything was ready.
"The oil is applied?"
A Pegasus slapped a hoof across his chest. "He's as lubed up as we could make him without more room. Also tried not to just dump the stuff, Slop is already upset about this."
Ted nodded, turning to the earth pony beside him. "Vines secured?"
"Eve had some strong knots, said she'd grown up using the vines and knew what they could handle. Shouldn't have to worry about them giving under duress."
"Good, I want two flyers to guide the wing into the window so it doesn't cause too much damage. Positions!"
Ponies and gnolls took up vines lashed to the dragons tail and legs, setting themselves in ready stances.
"PULL!"
Almost immediately he stones started creaking, the drakes form stressing the time-worn structure, but it held fast. Soon the drakes legs, then his front claws came sliding out. Next were the wings, guided by several Pegasus on each wing.
"STOP!"
As quickly as it started, the operation was over, leaving the tip of the drakes snout still inside the tower. The changeling queen had spat a globule of that green paste when she was disturbed, he didn't want to find out if the Temple was rated against dragon fire. Congratulating his followers on a job well done, Ted trotted up to the drakes snout, the jug and gem both held in his magic. After entering the tower, Ted waved the gem around in front of the dragons large nostrils, earning the first response from the dragon all morning. Food always dragged him out of bed, why wouldn't it work for others? The dragon made a few half-hearted attempts to snap at the floating gem, but soon gave up, opting instead to reach an arm around and slowly lift his improvised blinders, wincing slightly even in the shade of the tower.
"Cim? The hell are you doing in my room, I coulda' sworn I flew back home after the party."
"If you've decided to claim one of my Temple's towers as your room, you should ask first." Ted said quietly, before offering the drake the water jug. Sahkest downed it quickly, finally removing the leaves from his eyes and looking around in confusion.
"I'll be a wyrm, I'm still here." The drake muttered, laying his head back down. Ted just smiled. Sahkest wasn't going to be walking away from this unaffected, not after making him get up with a hangover.
"By the way, you owe us for dislodging you from our tower. You were buried in it so deeply we needed cooking oil to get you out. So you owe us a new barrel of oil, labor for about fifteen workers for an hour's work, and an extra for a rush job on a holiday." Smiling widely and showing off his fangs at the drakes dumbfounded expression, Ted patted him on the snout.
"Don't do stupid things that make me get up on my day off."
<-(0)->
The day was largely uneventful, not counting the enraged dragon threatening to sit on the storage warehouse, and despite the headaches and illnesses involved, the followers managed to survive the day. Like the guards there was a chef that wasn't involved in the partying the night before, as well as a pony that had been studying medicine under Trauma (Luckily, the mare had yet to pick up any of his obsessions). Otherwise things were quite, many citizens sleeping the day away. Even the children were exhausted from the late night, leaving Mirage with plenty of time to recover from her binge, though she did make several trips to the storage chamber throughout the night.
Sitting at a random table for the last meal of the day, Ted nibbled idly on a simple meal of roasted vegetables. It wasn't what slop could pull off, but he really didn't feel like hunting the stallion down just because he wanted a better dinner. It wasn't like he was even that hungry today anyway. Just unbelievably tired. Slowly making his way back up stairs, intent on heading to bed early, he stopped at the foot of his bed, all emotion falling from his face.
"Are you telling me, that you sat here the entire day?"
"I won't tell you, if it bothers you that much." Pandinus mumbled from the bed. Signing, Ted climbed into what was quickly becoming his side of the bed, the changeling curling up next to him as soon as he stopped shifting. He'd given up on kicking her out, as she always found her way back into the room, complaining that the tunnel was empty, cold and quiet. Not only that, the one time he'd left a guard by the door, she'd come in through the window.
His only saving grace seemed to be she wouldn't cross the line of intimate contact. He assumed it was to prevent the emotions she pulled from him from souring, but it was his only respite when it came to the bug.
'I guess it's true what they say. You can get used to anything eventually.'
Slowly he drifted off to sleep, the buzzing purr of the queen massaging his side. At least there was that. Worst case scenario, she made a good unwitting masseuse.
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hehehe, a snuggle bug for the alicorn ruler.
Lulz were had.
I am enjoying this story immensely!
Also, breathe* and quiet*.
Thanks for this amazing story!
Poko, man. Poko. Don't go for it, it's not worth it.
6126577 *Inarticulate screaming*
I dearly love the times your muse decides to attack you, just when I'm feel I'm over the withdrawal, you post more of this delightful story. Its so bright and hopeful and yet promises to go dark, crushing places. This journey looks to be a grand adventure and I only wait for the next step because it hasn't made itself known yet!
Everyone has a hangover?
RELEASE THE HERD OF STAMPEDING MICE.
Evil Overlord List.
In my dungeons, there will be rats. One per cell, in a cage with all facilities, with an extra squeaky exercise wheel. The prisoners job will be to keep that rat alive. The treatment of the rat, will reflect on the treatment of the prisoner. Attempted execution of the rat will lead to a far more rapid execution of the prisoner, as transmute melon to prisoner combined with mind scan and impress can recover them to an appropiate degree so as to reconsider their last mistake.
He should have searched Luna's memories for a hangover cure -- no doubt there was one.
I feel it's my job now to chronicle the titles Queen Huggle Buzz receives, spoken or not. Royal masseuse, and Queen of the changelings under Cimmerian are all she has currently.
Epic
Things have been really go well of late... I somehow suspect that won't last much longer.
Enjoy it why it last's Ted, because sooner or later war is going to find you... and even in Equestria war never changes.
What? Didn't like their method of extrication? It wasn't as cool as bursting your way free in a shower of pulverized masonry and wooden flinders, was it? Well, too bad! Ted's keep; Ted's rules. Don't like them? Then don't wedge yourself into hidey-holes that aren't yours.
"Unwitting"... Hah! She probably knows exactly what she's doing.
quiet
6125181
6125206
6125216
Since you all pretty much say the same thing i'll mass reply to you.
Unless the story is purely comedic and therefore what has been said cannot be explained i tend to take a scientific viewpoint on it. Even if this beer of the gods thing can make you go bat shit crazy on just one beer, the strength of the alcohol can be a million times the sun and it will take a small amount of time to actually reach your brain and muddle your senses. When i say people dont just get drunk on one drink i mean that they dont get drunk immediately. You can take whatever you want, but it still has to get into your digestive system then spread around your body. The exception to this is of course inhaled drugs as those are injected straight into your blood stream through the lungs. Either way, i still say that the drunk scene was a cop out and should have dragged on longer.
Dear writer:
I understand you wish to keep us interested with the constant chapters coming out and also the constant action but you do not need to sacrifice quality or length for speed. If you feel like something should take longer but dont want a larger chapter, split it. If you feel like you need more than a day to make something because you need to make a 5000 word chapter to really get in deep, TAKE 2 DAYS!
Now i'm not saying that you are crap, i'm not saying that you should take a break, work at your own pace god dammit. I'm saying that if you feel something is wrong, do what is best for the story, not for the readers. If we want constant updates every 3 hours while you're awake, but you can only do 1 a day, do 1 a day! I apologize for my brashness but you really ought to be conserving these and posting them every day or every other day. That way you can stock up for sick days or random days that you can't write.
Either way, i'm not telling you to go back and rewrite it, i'm not saying it's shit, merely that i was a bit unsatisfied at a missed opportunity.
quiet
Slop
Lulz were had and I enjoyed Ted's misery.
Is Ted the big spoon or the little spoon?
Nitpicks: The Quest for the Missing Apostrophe:
dragon's
too
the stones
drake's
drake's
several pegasi
drake's
drake's
dragon's
drake's
quiet
Slop
P.S. Extra special bonus nitpicks: I noticed a few still in the story summary. Oh, is that where those apostrophes went to?
its
(only one space)
Its
(also, should be "its" with no caps to be consistent with the rest of the summary, or else change all the "its"es to "Its"es.
6127960 Looks like little spoon
Smartass.
6127964
Double nitpick: Pegasus is a proper noun. It doesn't actually have a plural.
6128076
In all honesty, I've already dropped that entire conversation from my mind. It was not a shot against you, I swear! I'd forgotten it until just now. 
6128117
I know, I just thought it was kind of funny.
6128076 there is a video on YouTube explaining Pony Genetics in MLP universe.
6128152 He's teasing me for interrupting a 15 comment long comment chain argument over genetics that he and another guy were having, I think it was around chapter seven or so, I don't remember. I got tired of the text-walls and asked them to move it to pm's.
As for the video, I love the fandom, but not that much.
Most of the time watching drunk people is a fun pass time. One of the reasons I don't drink. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Say, did this story always have a Sex tag? If you added that just as a little gag for the molting chapter, I have to give you some serious kudos, because that would be funny as hell.
6128152
Yes, because videos on YouTube are the ultimate authority, when it comes to MLP genetics.
6128348 i didn't say anything about authority, just that it is there.
6128303 Eh, I'll get there eventually. In the meantime, you can have a few of my kudos. And a 'stache
Nice story. lots of hugs to you.
"Slop" should be capitalized.
I think that should be "Sighing".
Cim is totally a girl's name. And he's calling himself himself Night-mare already. Someone is starting to smell distinctly of denial here.
6129717 oh go to hell, wlam. Leave Ted alone, he's done nothing but entertain.
6129937
Why, this is hell, nor are we out of it.
shouldn't it be Sim instead of Cim ?
Absolutely LOVE the story so far. Keep up the awesome work Reykan. Hey just a suggestion but maybe in the next chapter or the one after that you could have able to talk to Celestia and Luna again.
6126030
I don't think I implied that they shouldn't have a party... Was that reply meant for someone else? I was just saying you did a good job on the speech.
6128076 That used to be true, and perhaps is still true outside of areas where flying equinoids are discussed, in
the same way thata similar way to how a person decades in the past might say "please hand me a pill of Aspirin brand medicine" or "Where did I leave my Thermos brand vacuum flask?" or "I need to put more Kerosene brand fuel in my lamp." (I didn't even know that last one.)6131203 It wasn't a complaint or anything, just a clarification. As I said in the comment, although I'm calling it a month, I didn't actually check how long its been
It's information for the sake of information 
Fucking normies
6134037 IKR?
6134218 Cant wait till next chapter
love the story and the characters. one of the best stories on this site Iv'e read. hope to see more soon.
also really love Queen Pandinus she's just what Ted needs in a mare. hope to see more of her in the future.
U tryin to start a fight m8?!
Cats > dogs
Fact.
6136720
U fokin wot m8!? Anyone with a brain would know that dogs will always be better than a scrawny mongrel like the cat. You know what...I'll even get my dog's and cousins cat opinion (who is ok at best, when she doesn't scratch me for no reason) on your incredibly retarded comment.
Doge: i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--FbWSWe_a--/1994bnap0ub5gjpg.jpg
Cat: mytinyphone.com/uploads/users/starrr72/572766.jpg
6143486 ... Really now? Why don't you take the "Are you being an ass to the cat?" survey: Have you ever A.Petted the cat in a way that annoyed it , B. Picked up the cat in a way that annoyed it , C. Constantly run after the cat / try to scare it into hiding , D. Constantly try to get the cat wetted down / sprayed with water constantly , or E. Anything else that would absolutely piss it off, then you deserved it!! If not, then the cat doesn't like your scent/your voice /is simply not absolutely trusting of you, or used to you being around.
Thank you for using this helpful survey!
Now, that being said and done,
Cat Vs. Dog!
Which can be house-trained in under a week?
Cat+1 - Pick up a cat that hasn't ever been house-trained, and set it into a litter box 2-4 days in a row, and then it will-from then on-do it's business only in that litter box (assuming that it's kept in the same spot/upkept/not blocked from access). Dog -1 for repeat offences even after being house-trained.
Which understands to stay away from a skunk Even Before Being Sprayed?
Adult Cats+1 - they think of the skunk as another cat that Really Stinks, so they keep their distance. Dogs that never encounter a skunk in their life +1, -1 for (sadly) repeat offenders (they like them 'squirrels' soooo much...).
Which can open a door they want to go through? Sometimes even a door that's locked?
+1 Cats , Rarely +1 Dogs
Which one overtook teh interwebs?
+1 Cats, YouTube. +1 Dogs, Memes.
Which will eat/kill the vermin around your house/yard/property?
Cats+1. Dogs sometimes +1
Which is smart enough/has enough self dignity/self-respect to always try to bury their own crap?
Cats+1. Dogs-sorta +1: they'll bury crap(stuff), but not their own crap(poo). *splat* -1 for the dung mine
*splat*-2
*splat*-3
*splat* - you know what? I'll get that final count to you after I've cleared this yard of doggy-doo mines.
*later*
Aaaannnnd the final count is.....
Cats 6, and Dogs -8!
Sentence:
Cat-Respect them and they'll respect you. By the way, ever hear a bunny scream?
Dog-At least have the decency to crap in your own yard!! Ugh. I need to clean my shoes.
6147109 Sorry, man. I'm sticking with dogs. I'm allergic to cat spit anyway, so it's not like nature even gave me a chance to like them.
Heh... a party dragon uh?
6136720 all i have to say...
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